Told by OBGYN I couldn't have kids due to weight....

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rachel_mouse
rachel_mouse Posts: 17
in Motivation and Support
Something personal... what finally motivated me to lose weight was when, a few months ago, my OBGYN told me that being at my weight... I would have a high-risk pregnancy and a much higher chance of miscarrying. Basically, that me being obese would kill my chances at having a healthy child, or a child at all. He said this in a "nice" way, and I prompted the discussion... but his responses shocked me. I knew it would be more high-risk, but not to what degree. I don't have high BP or diabetes or any weight-related illnesses other than some additional joint pain on top of the arthritis I already have. He said I should try to get to 180 lbs before I get pregnant (I am currently 267). I'd like to have a kid in the next 2 years or so, so losing this weight is so important to me.

Did anyone here go through a high-risk pregnancy due to their weight? What extra did you have to go through?
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Replies

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    My sister did; she doesn't talk about it much. She got gestational diabetes and there were several specialists watching over her like a hawk. It did a number on her body, that's for sure. She actually lost weight through her pregnancy. My sister is on insulin to this day.

    Best of success in your weight loss enterprise.
  • rachel_mouse
    rachel_mouse Posts: 17
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    Was her child healthy, though?
  • hnm921
    hnm921 Posts: 49 Member
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    I was told I couldn't have a child without fertitility treatments due to my PCOS. At the time I was 220. I came to terms that I wouldn't have children, dropped down to 185 and surprise, I was pregnant. I was scolded throughout my pregnancy for my rapid weight gain. I was 250 the day that I gave birth! I, luckily, never had high BP or diabetes. Other than terrible aches and pains from being pregnant and carrying around the extra weight, I had a smooth pregnancy and a healthy bundle of joy. Each person is different and every pregnancy is different, but the risk are higher when you are overweight and it really is not comfortable at all. I was miserable especially being 9 months pregnant, 250 pounds in South Louisiana.

    Good luck to you.
  • Smallc10
    Smallc10 Posts: 546 Member
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    Yes I have two friends who had a lot of problems during their pregnancies due to their weight. They got pregnant easily but one of my friends now has diabetes and my other friend went through gestational diabetes and very high blood pressure. The doctors were very worried about her and ended up inducing her early which was just god awful but I guess had to be done.

    This is one reason I'm working on getting down to a healthier weight prior to pregnancy. Yes both had healthy babies, but my one friend almost lost her baby during birth due to being induced (which was because of HER health complications) and had to have an emergency c-section.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    rachel_mouse wrote: »
    Was her child healthy, though?

    I had a friend who was morbidly obese when she got pregnant. She got gestational diabetes and ended up in pre-term labor because the baby ended up in distress.

    I know you are trying to find a way around it to say that you are just find getting pregnant at a higher weight, but I is very hard on the body and the baby. You may have struggles even getting pregnant. It's also easier to lose the weight before having kids than it is after. After having a baby it isn't as easy to take time for ourselves.
  • tlsmomma327
    tlsmomma327 Posts: 4
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    I've had 3 beautiful boys being overweight/ obese. I had a very hard time getting pregnant at first and was told that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant unless I lost the weight. I gave up on having kids and within a month or 2 got pregnant. I've had very easy pregnancies, and 3 very easy c-sections (my first baby was breach, loved the c section so much decided to have them all like that). My other 2 pregnancies happened very easily. Having said that, I do wish I had lost some weight before the pregnancies. Especially having had c-sections, I now have this very unattractive apron of fat hanging where my scar is. It's what i dislike most about my bodyand my nemesis. I'm trying to lose 100 pounds before we try for its last baby. Good luck to you.
    Tanya
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    edited April 2015
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    It's not just about the birth - it's also about what comes after. There is no way in hell I could have kept up with mine if I hadn't gotten much fitter. *Everything* about parenting is that much harder if you're obese and unfit - and it absolutely positively limits what you can do for/with your kids.

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    rachel_mouse wrote: »
    Was her child healthy, though?
    The delivery was risky for both mother and child. Child is healthy. Mother is healthy. You got the part where my sister is on insulin for life?
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,529 Member
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    He was exaggerating about "killing" your chances, but wasn't wrong about the higher risk involved. I doubt any other OBGYN would say anything different about the risk.

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  • shballa
    shballa Posts: 133 Member
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    The first time I got pregnant I was 270 and the second time I was 300. I didn't have any health issues before I got pregnant and didn't have any during. I actually ate better while I was pregnant because I was worried about getting the right nutrients to the baby. It's funny that I never cared about what I ate for myself, but when I was pregnant I cared about what I ate for the baby. With the first pregnancy, I gained 25 pounds, and with the second, I gained 11 pounds. I did end up with gall stones shortly after having the first child, but I think that was more of a heredity thing than a weight thing.
  • lhart1104
    lhart1104 Posts: 14 Member
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    I, by some miracle, I had three healthy, beautiful babies even though I am morbidly obese, my youngest turns oNE tomorrow. I got pregnant very easily, the last was actually an oops baby that was conceived on birth control. I had healthy pregnancies although I did have three csections.

    Let me make this clear, I am the exception. Most women of my size are not as lucky.

    Also, now with 5 kids (two "steps" that we have custody of) I am trying to lose over 100 pounds. It would have been so much easier before kids. I don't regret my children but trying to schedule my workouts with two in diapers, two in elementary school, and one in high school, sports practices, homework time, naps, finding someone to watch them, cooking and cleaning 500 times a day, it's not easy. And many times I go to bed feeling guilty that I took time for myself to workout.

    Do it now, before kids, don't take a chance.
  • Marcia661
    Marcia661 Posts: 183 Member
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    I had both of my children at well over 200 lbs. I had no issues with the pregnancies or births or afterwards for that matter. I was much younger then however, 19 & 22 respectively so perhaps that is why.
    Good luck to you on your journey as Motherhood is wonderful. I am having my first grandchild this summer so will get all the joy without all that work :)
  • Justygirl77
    Justygirl77 Posts: 385 Member
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    rachel_mouse wrote: »
    Something personal... what finally motivated me to lose weight was when, a few months ago, my OBGYN told me that being at my weight... I would have a high-risk pregnancy and a much higher chance of miscarrying. Basically, that me being obese would kill my chances at having a healthy child, or a child at all. He said this in a "nice" way, and I prompted the discussion... but his responses shocked me. I knew it would be more high-risk, but not to what degree. I don't have high BP or diabetes or any weight-related illnesses other than some additional joint pain on top of the arthritis I already have. He said I should try to get to 180 lbs before I get pregnant (I am currently 267). I'd like to have a kid in the next 2 years or so, so losing this weight is so important to me.

    Did anyone here go through a high-risk pregnancy due to their weight? What extra did you have to go through?

    My first advice is to find a female nurse practitioner, obgyn or midwife. Sorry but I do not like male doctors. I strongly think I get the best care and counsel from a woman dr/practitioner.


  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    A sympathetic woman practitioner. The most brutal pelvic exam I ever experienced was from a female OBGYN. And also the best. The best woman OBGYN ran the pregnancy clinic downtown. I learned so much from her.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    Justygirl77 wrote: »
    rachel_mouse wrote: »
    Something personal... what finally motivated me to lose weight was when, a few months ago, my OBGYN told me that being at my weight... I would have a high-risk pregnancy and a much higher chance of miscarrying. Basically, that me being obese would kill my chances at having a healthy child, or a child at all. He said this in a "nice" way, and I prompted the discussion... but his responses shocked me. I knew it would be more high-risk, but not to what degree. I don't have high BP or diabetes or any weight-related illnesses other than some additional joint pain on top of the arthritis I already have. He said I should try to get to 180 lbs before I get pregnant (I am currently 267). I'd like to have a kid in the next 2 years or so, so losing this weight is so important to me.

    Did anyone here go through a high-risk pregnancy due to their weight? What extra did you have to go through?

    My first advice is to find a female nurse practitioner, obgyn or midwife. Sorry but I do not like male doctors. I strongly think I get the best care and counsel from a woman dr/practitioner.


    I think that would be a personal thing. I feel that men have offered more objective advice and the women attempted to force their personal feelings into my medical issues (especially during pregnancy). I got horrible care from female obgyns and great care from males (except one, who was far too old to be practicing).
  • Smallc10
    Smallc10 Posts: 546 Member
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    Justygirl77 wrote: »

    My first advice is to find a female nurse practitioner, obgyn or midwife. Sorry but I do not like male doctors. I strongly think I get the best care and counsel from a woman dr/practitioner.

    Complete and utter nonsense. A man can be just as competent about women's health as a women can, sometimes more so. It all has to do with schooling and experience and has NOTHING to do with gender. Some women are more comfortable having another woman be up in their business but that does not make that woman doctor more competent than a male doctor.
  • milocamolly
    milocamolly Posts: 91 Member
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    It's different for everyone. I was 164 when I was pregnant with my last child and 160 when I got pregnant with the previous child. Both times I ended up getting gestational diabetes and both babies were born with low blood sugar and were in the NICU. Your doc isn't going to say something for the fun of it. Trust their opinion excess weight especially in the higher 200s means that you aren't eating healthy and that the risks of comications are so much higher.
  • tlsmomma327
    tlsmomma327 Posts: 4
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    Actually, I had a female midwife and she was awful and was the one who told me I'd never get pregnant because "I was too fat. " I switched to a male doctor and he has never once made me feel uncomfortable about my weight. My husband even loves him.
  • TheVogonVegan
    TheVogonVegan Posts: 75 Member
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    My best friend is a 400 pound woman and she had no trouble getting pregnant, no gestational diabetes (though my teeny-tiny sister in law got that with her pregnancy), and no problems with delivery. It just depends...I wouldn't say you're hopeless, but I'm sure it's still a risk factor, just like any other.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    rachel_mouse wrote: »
    Was her child healthy, though?

    Don't find excuses to not treat yourself well. If wanting to produce a strong healthy child isn't enough for you to want to make significant change in your life- then I suggest putting off having a kid- because that's just not healthy... and a whole other hoard of things I can't say because that just would plain be mean.

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