Relationship opinion needed

Tiamo719
Tiamo719 Posts: 256 Member
edited November 16 in Chit-Chat
I am going to get a lot of crap from you guys and that's okay because I need to know if it's me that has a problem.

My bf and I see one another only on the weekend, Fri, Sat and Sun and we're both very content with that.

He just asked me if I would mind if he went to the hockey game with his friend this Friday and I said "of course not" but it's bugging the hell out of me. I feel as if he would prefer to see him over me. Normally if it's during the week, it doesn't phase me.

Is it an insecurity problem I have?

Replies

  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    It's you.

    Something like hockey is usually on a set schedule. If it was during the week he'd probably go then, but it's not, it's on Friday. No biggie. It's just one day. And at least he cleared it with you first. Not like he just said "I'm going to the game, you're SOL".
  • tattooedmomma93b
    tattooedmomma93b Posts: 101 Member
    It's just one day, and it's not gonna be all day. .let him go....he'll come to you and you can spend the rest of the night together. I spent way too long trying to control my ex and make him spend all his time with me. It's not good. He needs his guy time just as much as you want time with each other.
  • 2014Alpha
    2014Alpha Posts: 2,838 Member
    edited April 2015
    ^^that (Ninkyou)
  • Markdjones83
    Markdjones83 Posts: 852 Member
    Ninkyou wrote: »
    It's you.

    Something like hockey is usually on a set schedule. If it was during the week he'd probably go then, but it's not, it's on Friday. No biggie. It's just one day. And at least he cleared it with you first. Not like he just said "I'm going to the game, you're SOL".

    100% agreed. I was in a controlling relationship where my ex never wanted me to go do anything. I despised it. If it is a very rare thing for him to book something on your normal nights, just let him enjoy it with no guilt trip.
  • La_Malfaisante_
    La_Malfaisante_ Posts: 1,064 Member
    You need to let your bf LIVE girl... For most people the weekend is the only time we get to socialize with people, he's allowed to have friends and enjoy himself without you and that doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you. If you feel insecure about him hanging out with his friends I'm sorry to break it to you but your relationship won't last.
  • jenncornelsen
    jenncornelsen Posts: 969 Member
    your gonna smother him if u dont let him out with friends now and then. go out with your girlfriends! dont neglect friends just because ur dating someone. they might not still be there when u need em
  • Tiamo719
    Tiamo719 Posts: 256 Member
    It really sucks feeling this way. Thank you for you advice/opinions. Maybe I feel like this because we were just made up on Tuesday after a disagreement on Sunday. Whatever, I need to chill.
  • missyj1115
    missyj1115 Posts: 1,220 Member
    La_Malfaisante_ wrote: »
    You need to let your bf LIVE girl... For most people the weekend is the only time we get to socialize with people, he's allowed to have friends and enjoy himself without you and that doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you. If you feel insecure about him hanging out with his friends I'm sorry to break it to you but your relationship won't last.

    THIS SOOOO THIS!!!

    The weekends are ment to go out and have fun, relax and socialize! You have your friends and he has his, do not spend all your free time together! You need time apart to keep the relationship alive. If either of you try to control each other you are dead in the water sooner or later. Keep your individuality as much as you want to be with him and vis versa when you have plans with your friends it is healthy to be apart. I know it is tough when you only have a few days together but it is very important to never try to control someone or make them think you are more important than anyone else in their life! Take the time apart to do something for yourself it will only make the time you have together that much sweeter!
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    just break up....


    (pours one out)
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Ninkyou wrote: »
    It's you.

    Something like hockey is usually on a set schedule. If it was during the week he'd probably go then, but it's not, it's on Friday. No biggie. It's just one day. And at least he cleared it with you first. Not like he just said "I'm going to the game, you're SOL".

    ^ this
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Tiamo719 wrote: »
    It really sucks feeling this way. Thank you for you advice/opinions. Maybe I feel like this because we were just made up on Tuesday after a disagreement on Sunday. Whatever, I need to chill.

    What did you disagree about?

    And why say you were ok with him going to the hockey Friday if you weren't?
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    I had to check your age on your profile...but the sound of your OP I was going to guess you were 19 or 20. But 50? I'm 47 and I too spend the bulk of my "BF time" on the weekends but if he does something differently and I don't see him, I just consider it to be a bonus night of no snoring, lol!
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    jenncornelsen wrote: »
    your gonna smother him if u dont let him out with friends now and then. go out with your girlfriends! dont neglect friends just because ur dating someone. they might not still be there when u need em

    Smother? She sees him 6 days a month.

    I was in a LDR. We were lucky to see each other once a month. When he came here for that weekend, he took one night to go see his friends. The world did not end.
  • Travis_2
    Travis_2 Posts: 1,445 Member
    Find someone else for the other nights of the week. Problem solved.
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
    So_Much_Fab wrote: »
    I had to check your age on your profile...but the sound of your OP I was going to guess you were 19 or 20. But 50? I'm 47 and I too spend the bulk of my "BF time" on the weekends but if he does something differently and I don't see him, I just consider it to be a bonus night of no snoring, lol!

    You took the words right out of my mouth. 50??? I hope that is a bogus age.

  • Tiamo719
    Tiamo719 Posts: 256 Member
    Gosh, you guys make me feel so old!!! Yes, 50 and I feel like I'm 16 in this relationship. Actually, my whole experience of dating makes it feel like I'm a teenager again.
  • Tiamo719
    Tiamo719 Posts: 256 Member
    edited April 2015
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Tiamo719 wrote: »
    It really sucks feeling this way. Thank you for you advice/opinions. Maybe I feel like this because we were just made up on Tuesday after a disagreement on Sunday. Whatever, I need to chill.

    What did you disagree about?

    And why say you were ok with him going to the hockey Friday if you weren't?

    Our argument was a misunderstanding.

    I said It was okay because I don't want to be one of those women who try and control their men.

    The more I think about our relationship, It's me. I am so insecure. I wish I wasn't. And he is great. He is always there for me. Maybe I am just afraid of losing him.

  • disasterman
    disasterman Posts: 746 Member
    He asked you so he was obviously concerned about your feelings. He's probably bummed that it takes one of your evenings together away but that's when the game is. Now, if this starts happening more frequently then you have a problem-but once in awhile either of you should feel comfortable doing your own thing. PS - I assume you don't care much for hockey because if you do and he knows that then it adds another dimension.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    Tiamo719 wrote: »
    Gosh, you guys make me feel so old!!! Yes, 50 and I feel like I'm 16 in this relationship. Actually, my whole experience of dating makes it feel like I'm a teenager again.

    haha cute! but yea i think its you just let him go to his hockey game or maybe go with him???
  • Tiamo719
    Tiamo719 Posts: 256 Member
    edited April 2015
    disasterman wrote: »
    He asked you so he was obviously concerned about your feelings. He's probably bummed that it takes one of your evenings together away but that's when the game is. Now, if this starts happening more frequently then you have a problem-but once in awhile either of you should feel comfortable doing your own thing. PS - I assume you don't care much for hockey because if you do and he knows that then it adds another dimension.

    Thank you. I didn't look at it that way. And yes, I do not like hockey. Now football is another story, I would love to go to a game.

  • Tiamo719
    Tiamo719 Posts: 256 Member
    salembambi wrote: »
    Tiamo719 wrote: »
    Gosh, you guys make me feel so old!!! Yes, 50 and I feel like I'm 16 in this relationship. Actually, my whole experience of dating makes it feel like I'm a teenager again.

    haha cute! but yea i think its you just let him go to his hockey game or maybe go with him???

    He's going and I have no interest (not that he asked me) but he knows not to ask me. His friend asked him and he doesn't see him too often and I don't want to get in the way of that.
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
    You cannot expect someone to devote every single weekend to you even if weekends are the only time you get to spend together.
This discussion has been closed.

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