What do you do when others aren't "supportive"?

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  • ah6689
    ah6689 Posts: 3 Member
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    I've found that validation from others is great but not always available, even from family. I just don't eat what I know isn't good for me and accept that we aren't going to agree.
  • yesimpson
    yesimpson Posts: 1,372 Member
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    hbarnesccs wrote: »
    wizzybeth wrote: »
    It just happens that way. I was not trying to pick on you - it's just funny how the topics go in streaks. :)

    Thank you for clarifying :)

    And thanks to everyone with a reply. I guess I was partly looking to her for validation - but y'all are right. I'm my own person and I can do this whether or not she's on board. Right? Right!

    Yeah, you'll be fine! You've lost 12lbs already so you know you can do it.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    I have learned that with certain family members of mine I won't bring the subject up at all. I have a very pushy stepdad, especially when it comes to second helpings and desserts. He doesn't know that I'm trying to lose weight because it just seems to make him even pushier. I just try to stay strong and stick to my guns.
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
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    MrM27 wrote: »
    Isn't this exact topic being discussed right now in another thread

    The other one's meta. This is an example. We should post a link to the other one. I'm too lazy to do that right now.

  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
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    JoRocka wrote: »
    mamapeach910 wrote: »

    People don't need to validate you. You provide your own validation.

    cosign.


    I cosign you're cosign to my sign??

    Cosingception.

  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
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    hbarnesccs wrote: »
    wizzybeth wrote: »
    It just happens that way. I was not trying to pick on you - it's just funny how the topics go in streaks. :)

    Thank you for clarifying :)

    And thanks to everyone with a reply. I guess I was partly looking to her for validation - but y'all are right. I'm my own person and I can do this whether or not she's on board. Right? Right!

    Yes you can. You're still young and learning that you don't need your parents validation is part of becoming an adult. A lot of us don't learn that until we're even older than you, so don't sweat it too much.

  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    mamapeach910 wrote: »
    JoRocka wrote: »
    mamapeach910 wrote: »

    People don't need to validate you. You provide your own validation.

    cosign.


    I cosign you're cosign to my sign??

    Cosingception.

    <3
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
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    I had that problem with my nan. (Note I said had).
    Nothing I did was correct in her eyes... I eat salad, I am not eating enough and I will end up with an ED.
    I eat burger and chips, I have failed on my diet and I have no commitment.
    I dont take a biscuit when offered, I am being silly because 1 wont hurt.
    I take a biscuit, I have failed my diet and I have no commitment.
    She invited me for dinner and knowing I was watching what I eat she gave me Chicken Kiev, Chips and Onion Rings.

    So I started to ignore the comments and just do what I want.
    When she asks about my weight loss, I answer the questions but in the shortest way possible and I dont go to her house for dinner anymore.

    You are an adult, take control. Do what is best for you and if your mom doesnt support you then find someone who does.

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,708 Member
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    Just wrote about this yesterday:

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10134341/you-arent-always-going-to-get-support/p1

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Just wrote about this yesterday:

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10134341/you-arent-always-going-to-get-support/p1

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

    Yeah, we were talking about your thread a few posts up. :smiley:
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
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    If you know your going to your parents for that day/evening etc then just save your calories so that you can be polite and eat with them guilt free. It might be a different story if your hitting macro goals etc as well but this can be worked around. I have to religiously visit my parents twice a week and each meal is realistically 1500 cals. I just beudget for it and enjoy. It has never hindered progress and a beautiful thing when someone cooks for you.
  • mom42677
    mom42677 Posts: 7 Member
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    My mom wasn't supportive of me dieting or exercising either and your story sounds very similar to mine. What I did was just ignore her rude or discouraging remarks and would eat but only the good part of the meal. I'm mexican so rice and beans and homemade tortillas always appear at the table --I would avoid the rice and tortilla or just have small portions. Once I got closer to my goal weight she began to respect me for it and would tell my sisters to look at how far I have come and how good I looked --at that point it was motivating to go have dinner at her house. She even started cooking healthier when she would invite me. What I learned is mommas never stop feeding us....lol just avoid the carb intake, you will be able to do fine.
  • giannigreco83
    giannigreco83 Posts: 282 Member
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    JoRocka wrote: »
    you don't.

    You don't "handle" them at all.

    Set your eyes on a goal.
    Pick a path that leads you to your goal.
    Focus ONLY on that.
    Ignore people who doubt you.

    Drive on.

    you need no other support but your own pure sheer force of will determination. Want it more than life itself and make it happen.

    Disregard them- their words require ZERO action on your part. So don't engage.

    Pretty motivational stuff here. very true... Amen

  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    hbarnesccs wrote: »
    I love my family and don't want to make this a situation that is ALL ABOUT ME, but how do y'all handle people that aren't exactly supportive?

    You're only two weeks in - it's a bit early to be complaining like this.

    IMO, etc.
  • PaytraB
    PaytraB Posts: 2,360 Member
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    The 20 pounds will disappear in time and family is here to stay for always. You'll often find yourself in situations where the food choices aren't the best and one of the tools of maintenance is learning to balance those times with the rest.
    Perhaps look at this as a learning experience and enjoy the dinners for what they are. Could you perhaps work on a weekly calorie allotment (instead of a daily allotment) and calorically plan for these dinners so that you eat a reasonable (to your mom) portion and not a tiny one that she will notice and comment on? Maybe eat a bowl of salad or some steamed veggies before going over so that you get some balance to what your mother will serve?
    Situations like this will happen throughout your life. Since your mom's dinners are pre-planned, you may be able to plan around them and still meet your goals.
    Good luck. You can do this.

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