VENT - weight and self hatred issues

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  • cheyenne__brown
    cheyenne__brown Posts: 25 Member
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    snowflake954 wrote: »
    cheyenne__brown wrote: »
    snowflake954 wrote: »
    I think you know this, but self-hate and non acceptance of self, are issues for counseling. You are young, but this has been going on for a long time--it's not going to magically go away on it's own. Don't keep spinning your wheels. You'll find yourself in the same place, or worse, 10 yrs down the line. For your future happiness, do something about it now. Talk to a specialist. Wishing you the best of luck. B)

    Yeah I know, I've been going to counselling for about a couple of months, but we never really talk about this kinda thing, Its one of the multiple topics I have issues discussing with her, idk I guess I will eventually, but thank you so much for your support and for replying! :smile:

    If you can't talk about this to your counselor---get a different one. I was 145 and 5'11" in high school. All my friends were short and I always felt oversize, even though I was slim and lanky. When I was teased, it really hurt. Now I'm 60 and happily married for almost 30 years. So I am viewing your problem as something I worked through. It will pass, but you need to discuss your issues with the right person. Get going and do it--you'll be glad one day. B)

    I'm sorry to hear that you got teased :( I've been lucky that never been overly teased for my height, not in a malicious way anyway (besides one guy calling me a lanky c*** every so often a few years ago, but he was mainly bitter about other stuff)
    I would try another counselor, but I wouldn't know how to go about getting one, I think one of the main reasons I have issues talking about some stuff is that I have some major issues opening up about certain things and trust issues and I've only seen her about 5 or 6 times, I only have 3 months left at the school so if nothing has changed by then I'll have to find another one..
    Thank you so much for the message and the support though! I'm glad your story had a happy ending :smile:
  • evahw
    evahw Posts: 5 Member
    edited April 2015
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    nonnalynn wrote: »
    Realising that was like realising the heavy bags you thought you had to carry up the mountain don't actually belong to you, and aren't your responsibility.
    Wow! I love this analogy. I used to feel like it WAS my responsibility to carry everyone's bags up the mountain. When I realized the bags were not PART OF ME, I was able to put them down AND move the mountain! Thxoxo for the clear image!

    Thank you! That's great, here's to more mountain-moving! :smile:
    cheyenne__brown wrote: »
    thank you! Its native american :smiley: I'm glad you've managed to overcome your issues! Thanks for sharing your story :smile: my counselled suggested something similar to the list, so I'll try to keep at it! And yeah I know they are common and I was starting to accept them, I've just had a set back recently.. Thank you so much for your reply, your advice is great :smile:

    No problem Cheyenne! Thank you :smiley: Glad so many people have posted saying similar things, might be nice to keep this thread bookmarked so you can whip it out and read all the encouragement for those days when you're feeling not-so-good? Best of luck with the counselling and everything outside of it - I'm still working on this too so you're not alone. We can definitely conquer this!! (P.S. there are a couple of ladies whose websites are great for this type of stuff, so definitely worth a Google - the two I can think of right now are Summer Innanen and Isabel Foxen Duke)

    E :smile: x
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
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    DebbieLyn63 wrote: »
    You weigh 147 lbs, if I did the conversion correctly. At 5'11", that is a perfectly healthy weight. You are young, and very tall for your age. You are most likely comparing your weight and size to more petite girls your age. You will not be as thin and petite as someone who is 5'3". You will harm yourself physically and mentally if you attempt to be so.

    Also, at your age and height, 2000 cals a day is NOT a binge, That is a normal amount of calories for you. You have a very distorted idea of what size you should be. This is not uncommon for girls your age. ALL of us had body issues at that age.

    Try to focus on talents, family and friend relationships, and activities that don't revolve around the scale. If you want to firm up, then start some weight lifting exercises. You will build strength, stamina, and can sculpt your body the way you want, without feeling like you have to starve yourself to get skinny like the fake model photos in magazines. You have a long, full life waiting for you. Don't waste another minute of it obsessing over your weight. Focus on health and happiness. <3


    This!!

    Weights will most likely give you the definition and 'tone' you are looking for. About 10 years ago I wore a snug size 12 at 150lbs. I currently wear a very loose size 12 at 190lbs. That's right, I'm 40lbs heavier, but my clothes fit better! The difference is that I lift heavy.
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
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    cheyenne__brown wrote: »
    DebbieLyn63 wrote: »
    You weigh 147 lbs, if I did the conversion correctly. At 5'11", that is a perfectly healthy weight. You are young, and very tall for your age. You are most likely comparing your weight and size to more petite girls your age. You will not be as thin and petite as someone who is 5'3". You will harm yourself physically and mentally if you attempt to be so.

    Also, at your age and height, 2000 cals a day is NOT a binge, That is a normal amount of calories for you. You have a very distorted idea of what size you should be. This is not uncommon for girls your age. ALL of us had body issues at that age.

    Try to focus on talents, family and friend relationships, and activities that don't revolve around the scale. If you want to firm up, then start some weight lifting exercises. You will build strength, stamina, and can sculpt your body the way you want, without feeling like you have to starve yourself to get skinny like the fake model photos in magazines. You have a long, full life waiting for you. Don't waste another minute of it obsessing over your weight. Focus on health and happiness. <3

    All my friends are petit and perfect, and next to them I always feel weird and unproportionate, so I guess that doesn't help,and it kind interferes with everyday life like, it makes me feel *kitten* when I hang around them and try on clothes or look at pictures etc, so that doesn't help..
    When I say over 2000 calories its more like 2400(ish) when I binge, I find it difficult to find the inbetween, I guess I just need motivation to exercise more and work on the perception o have of myself.. Thank you so much for your reply, it means a lot!

    I'm not sure 2400ish is a binge. I'm 5'2" and 190lbs and that is around maintenance for me as a lifter.

    I just grabbed my personal trainer textbook to check something...at 147lbs your TDEE (daily burn) with minimal activity is 2200 calories.

    147×10= BMR of 1470

    1470 x 1.5 (low active modifier ) = 2205 calories
  • eva_svi
    eva_svi Posts: 24 Member
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    Hi Cheyenne, just wanted to ask if you've seen the stretch mark pic Chrissy Teigen posted on her instagram? If not google it. Goes to show even successful and skinny models have them :)
    Btw I do too - and all of them are from puberty, even though I was pregnant three times.
    You focus on losing now - but not the pounds, rather the negative thoughts towards your body. You're beautiful ;)

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