Encouraging My Partner

bluepotatoes66
bluepotatoes66 Posts: 45 Member
in Motivation and Support
My partner just got some discouraging news from his doctor (doesn't really matter what it was) and one of the things he can do to improve the test results is to drop some weight. In the few years we've been together he's put on about 20ish pounds and wasn't super svelte to begin with.

So I want to be a good SO and help him with this and he is open to this idea, but I have no idea where to begin. He doesn't like the gym, so that's out. I already walk quite a lot, so I'm not sure how much more I'm willing to do. He eats what I make when I cook at my place. I think he might be willing to track his food again (did it once before and lost some weight), but every time I've proposed that all I've gotten was acknowledgement that I suggested it.

Anyone else have any further suggestions?

Replies

  • fallenoaks4
    fallenoaks4 Posts: 63 Member
    Sounds like he doesn't really want it. My suggestion would be to let it go. He'll put in the work when he is ready.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    Its for him to sort himself out and take responsibility. If dropping weight will help him its best he leanrs how to do it safely and effectively. If you wnat to support thats good, but be careful its not in one ear and out the other or that he resists and gets defensive.

    If he doesnt have kitchen scales then get him some.
    If he doesnt like the gym, then he cna find other things like walking or swimming. he could work at home. its better if he likes what hes doing but other people get on with ut especually where there health is concerned.
    I wouldnt try too hard to encourage him as he might get annoyed its nagging. You cna give him good advice though if he needs it.

    Both of you could start with this which will give you the basics.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
  • canadjineh
    canadjineh Posts: 5,396 Member
    For those that haven't gotten into much exercise yet (although this is vital for maintenance) a lower carb eating style while maintaining adequate protein (NOT high protein) will help to drop the fat weight. Lower net carb vegetables, a few lower carb fruits, lean proteins and low fat dairy while temporarily cutting out the grains, potatoes, & similar. Can he start walking with you to begin good habits?
    Here's a good MFP article on it:
    http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/why-eat-less-exercise-more-isnt-a-good-weight-loss-strategy/
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    it sounds like you've done what you can.
    unfortunately you cant force him to respond in the way you want.

    what doesn't he like about the gym?

    if discouraging news from the doc isnt motivating enough, i'm just not quite sure what more you can do (that you havent already). ultimately it needs to come from him.
  • Cookie2123
    Cookie2123 Posts: 99 Member
    Honestly, the only thing you can do is be a good example. Let your choices and the results from them be what he sees and hopefully wants for himself. I could talk to my DH till I am blue in the face and I did what I could to encourage him. I can cook the right foods but he can always sneak in the bad stuff. It has to be his choice because it's his journey. Ultimately it was watching me change physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually that gave him the motivation to finally make better choices for himself. You cant do it for him but you can encourage him.
  • abelcat1
    abelcat1 Posts: 186 Member
    Perhaps introduce him to the successtories,- or maybe there´s a Group for members with the same health-issues as him. It´s very tricky trying to motivate others,- I fear your eagerness can annoy him and put him off. Personaly I tend to feel attacked if somebody offer advice I didn´t ask for... just suggesting this in a friendly tone ;-) Kind regards... I know you want
    the best for him ;-)
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Honestly, he has to be ready to do it. The most you can do is just leave the door open for help, but otherwise, it's all up to him.
  • bluepotatoes66
    bluepotatoes66 Posts: 45 Member
    fallenoaks4 wrote: »
    Sounds like he doesn't really want it. My suggestion would be to let it go. He'll put in the work when he is ready.

    He has specifically asked me for help, just not sure what can be done.
    skullshank wrote: »
    ....what doesn't he like about the gym?

    if discouraging news from the doc isnt motivating enough, i'm just not quite sure what more you can do (that you havent already). ultimately it needs to come from him.

    I think the gym has just a combination of things he doesn't like - equipment that can aggravate old injuries (doesn't seem interested in finding cardio equipment that wouldn't do that), too many people (anxiety issues), and too much noise (also anxiety).

    I think the motivation is there, it's just the drive that is lacking.
    Cookie2123 wrote: »
    Honestly, the only thing you can do is be a good example. Let your choices and the results from them be what he sees and hopefully wants for himself.... You cant do it for him but you can encourage him.

    That's what I've been doing the whole time and will continue to. I have been very vocal about what I do and how it makes me feel.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    bluepotatoes66 wrote: »
    fallenoaks4 wrote: »
    Sounds like he doesn't really want it. My suggestion would be to let it go. He'll put in the work when he is ready.

    He has specifically asked me for help, just not sure what can be done.

    In that case, tell him to start tracking his food intake.
  • bluepotatoes66
    bluepotatoes66 Posts: 45 Member
    Ninkyou wrote: »
    bluepotatoes66 wrote: »
    fallenoaks4 wrote: »
    Sounds like he doesn't really want it. My suggestion would be to let it go. He'll put in the work when he is ready.

    He has specifically asked me for help, just not sure what can be done.

    In that case, tell him to start tracking his food intake.

    This is my pet project - I know he can do it regularly and reliably, but I don't know what the resistance is to it this go around....

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