Feeling down and struggling to budge a buck

Okay, so I've hit a hard plateau and I'm struggling to budge a pound.
I feel like I've tried everything and I'm so frustrated with how hard '"have to work" in order to achieve even a minor movement on weight.
I used to weigh 240lbs. I did lose around 85lbs and then broke my foot and went up about 25 to 30lbs It took 5 months to heal.

Yes, I am proud of what I've accomplished but when I was down that extra 25lbs, I hadn't reached my goal size or weight and I was just starting to like my body, for the first time ever!

Now I feel hopeless. I'm turning 30 on sat and I just can't move any real weight. And it feels like weight and shape is harder and harder to move the older you get.

The really embarrassing thing, I have a personal trainer. I'm not kidding. I started once a week in jan and have only lost 10lbs since then and no dress sizes. I've seen some changes in my physique, which I like but ultimately, I am still at a phase where i need to lose actual weight and not just tone. So I feel like a failure.

I have been binge eating. I just feel so deprived. I feel like I gave up so much and I'm jealous as hell when I see other women with sexy abs and tight bodies, eating and drinking booze without calorie counting and barely working out and having fun and I'm like killing myself and not making the results I want.

I gave up dairy, so no cheese, or milk, instead I drink almond milk. I went organic lean meats and fish instead of regular.
I gave up sugar and cream in coffee, i only drink it black.
I gave up cookies and chips and chocolate and barely drink alcohol. I switched to black bean pasta and spaghetti squash instead of whole wheat pasta.
I eat organic eggs that cost 7 bucks instead of 2 dollars. I use coconut oil instead of butter or margarine.

I know a guy who's in his 40s. He eats junk all the time. He stopped putting two sugars in his coffee, and went to one sugar. He lost 22lbs in two months without any other diet or exercise whatsoever! Grrrrrr! I mean come on! I used to drink soda throught the day and gave it up completely!

I do know that I self sabotage. I do binge eat or sometimes I break down an break the no dairy rule and eat a couple of slices of pizza or drink three beers in a single sitting. But I'm only human and I feel like how am I going to do this?!

I got sick of calorie counting. I end up always feeling freaking hungry! I'm not on any medications or suffering from any thyroid problems, so I feel even more frustrated. I have tons of clothes that are like a size or two too small from my when I was just that little bit skinnier and I feel like I have nothing wear. It sucks.

I'm a size 12 and I feel like a hog.

I feel like, how am I going to do this? Do I really have to count my calories? Do you know how exhausting it is to do that and how tiring it is to think about food all day every day?! And then not going out or torturing myself over a few beers when my other skinny girlfriends can drink as much as they want but I can't...or else fatty gets fatter or doesn't lose the weight.

To add to my trouble and the real root of my problem, I work a stupid work schedule. i work three days a week for two weeks and then four days a week for one week, which doesn't seem so bad, 12 hour shifts, except, it's a call list type of schedule.

That means I get randomly scheduled for shifts that are 12 hours that are days and nights! So every single week I a constantly flipping back and forth between days and nights, and it's not like oh I work 2 days and then 2 nights. No! It's like, I work sat day shift, then a day off, then a night shift, then a day off, then two days and so on. So my days off, I spend trying to go back to a day shift or prep for a night shift.

I'm finding it hard to get the exercise in. I want to work out at least 4 days a week, but it ends up being more like two or three and it's not enough! I want to do three days of weight training and at least 4 days of 45 mins to an hour of cardio but with my stupid work schedule, it ends up being two day of weight training and then like maybe one day of cardio, which basically doesn't do crap for losing weight.

So then I get frustrated and eat. I'm tired of being a strict calorie and workout regimen that is impossible to achieve. but even more, I'm tired of hating myself. I know, I need to suck it up but when you are on a turn around of 4 hours sleep to switch your sleep schedule for the next night or day shift, it's hard to get the energy and motivation to work out...

I needed to vent. Whah! Whah! 30 and depressed....


  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    A lot of your story could be mine too!

    I'm 40, work with a trainer (have for 2 years now), and the scale hardly moves. I still technically have almost 60 lbs to lose, but I sincerely doubt I will get there.

    How much do you weigh? How many calories are you eating a day? Is your job active?

    With the help of my trainer, I found that I wasn't eating enough. I increased my intake, and lost weight. It also helps if I drink at least 64oz a day of water (my goal is 95oz), and eat 4-6 mini meals instead of 3 regular meals. Yesterday that looked like this

    Breakfast : 2 eggs, 2 slices of toast
    post workout : 1 scoop protein and a lara bar
    mid afternoon : grande tiramisu Frappuccino and a double stack
    evening (while working ): hard boiled egg, 2 Oz cheese cubes, 1oz craisins and a handful of cashews.

    My total for the day was probably 2000-2400 calories.

    My trainer and a few of my friends are prepping for various competitions. They eat plain grilled chicken, sweet potatoes, brown rice, etc. They look freaking amazing. I know I would too IF I had the willpower to eat like they do. I try, but life always seems to get in the way. I'm an emotional eater, so high stress has me hitting the carbs hard.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
    All u need for weight loss is a calorie deficit. So there's no need to give up anything.
    If your not losing , then your not eating at a deficit. That's exactly why your not losing.
    Giving up foods has nothing to do with it. Calorie deficit is all that's needed for weight loss. So work on creating a deficit .
  • christinaarcand
    christinaarcand Posts: 8 Member
    I'm trying to start the day with a new positive outlook. I am trying to get that calorie deficit, but I feel confused about how much I should actually be eating. I mean I'm at 170lb now and my workouts are two weight training sessions per week plus whatever I can manage at home. which depends greatly on my work schedule. Last week I worked it'tues wed night shift. and then sat night, this week I'm working saturday day and then sun mon tues night shift. so with flipping back btwn days and nights, it's unlikely I will get any real exercise in.
    I work at a mill, so I do physical labor but it's not enough to like shed tons of weight. its 12 hour shifts so with travel time on public transit which is a good hour and a half by the time I get to and from, we are looking at an 15 hour day, plus the hour I need to wake up prior to have coffee, make my lunch ect, it's almost impossible to work out before work and after Im way to beat...so that leaves my days off, but then I'm constatntly struggling to switch my sleep schedule, so if I get off a night shift and flip back to days, I have to get up after 4 hours or I sleep the whole damn day and then I'm too tired to work out usually on that first day off beause I forced myself up after only 4 hours. It's a double edged sword...

    With calories, I heard that you do and you don't or you only should half eat back your exercise calories. it's like for my goal and for my weight, I'm supposed to eat like freaking 1450 calories a day, that's usually gone before dinner and leaves me no leway and then if I'm eating 1600 calories, I can only seem to lose wieght if I'm exercising on that day, otherwise if I eat on say a non exercise day, then i have two choices, starve myself and be hungry til cave or binge or be miserable and weak, I can't do enough freaking exercise! I need to do 4 days of cardio and 3 to 4 of weights but I can never get more than maybe two cardio and two wieght training per week and unless I am starving, I just seem to stay in the same up and down 3 to 4 pounds range. And I have no leway to enjoy life and drink or eat out with friends. which I don't do that often but it seems like I can never get ahead and then I get frustrated and I binge...

    Ugh, whatever. I'm just gonna go ball out and do this. I'm sick of being fat. I'm just going to say to hell with sleep and not give in to hunger. to hell with it! I hate being 30...
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
    edited April 2015
    Oh my goodness, it sounds like you are just making the whole process harder than it needs to be. You don't have to give up everything you love to lose weight. Just eat less calories overall.

    All those things you've given up are probably what is causing you binge. You ARE deprived. Set reasonable goals and stick to them. Eat a balanced diet that includes foods you enjoy, including treats.

    No, you can't pig out all day and lose weight. But you can still have cookies and pasta and cheese and other things you love. Just don't have huge portions of them for every meal.

    Exercise is important for health and fitness, but when it comes to weight loss it's not mandatory. It does burn calories, so if you exercise you can eat more than if you don't, but don't beat yourself up if you can't do as much as you want.

    Take control of your diet and your life. Eat, drink and be merry. Just don't overdo it. Best of luck to you.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    Ill go with what need2says, lighten up and relax. You simply need to get back to being at consistent deficit. Dont look back and be kind to yourself till you get into a better frame of mind. You are making i harder for yourself than it needs to be.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
    Ugh, whatever. I'm just gonna go ball out and do this. I'm sick of being fat. I'm just going to say to hell with sleep and not give in to hunger. to hell with it! I hate being 30...

    Saying "to hell with sleep" is a bad idea. Fatigue messes with your hunger hormone and will just make you feel more deprived. Stop punishing yourself and start healing yourself. You are much too young to be blaming age.
  • christinaarcand
    christinaarcand Posts: 8 Member
    I agree, I'm all kinds of bad ideas. I'm going to try to stay positive and reset and start today as a new day. Thanks everyone
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
    I second what everyone else above has said. Depriving yourself of sleep is not going to work. I like what Tony Horton says - think of your body and what you do to it as a pendulum. When you're up and active (work, exercise, day to day errands) the pendulum is going one way. Resting swings the pendulum the other way (sleeping, meditation, etc). If you just keep going going going and not letting the pendulum fully swing the other way you're going to burn yourself out. You might even end up doing more harm to your body than what the binge eating is doing to you.

    Since exercise isn't consistent due to your schedule, maybe you should just focus on logging all your foods and reducing calorie intake. Don't even worry about exercising right now.

    Another option might be to look for shorter workouts that you can do in 10-15 minutes (such as HIIT workouts - you'll be surprised what you can find on YouTube).
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    Losing weight in a healthy manner that will last takes a long time. Yes, you're not doing yourself any favors by binging, but you don't have to cut everything you like out of your diet. Your goal should be learning to balence your diet with healthy options as well as things you like in a way that fits your calorie goal for the day. By learning this and learning where to adjust for a deficit, you'll start to lose weight. It takes a while, but it'll be worth it in the long run.

    Also, talk to your trainer. Share the feelings you're having about not losing and ask for his/her advice in the exercise department. They may know some other types of exercises you can do that will help.
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,117 Member
    I'm 46 and average 2 days of working out. I do IF (intermittent fasting) I eat my first meal about 1. Usually have some tea, coffee and water to keep my hunger controlled until 1 pm. Also, the days I exercise it's usually without eating.

    I'm slowly losing every week. KEYWORD "Slowly". I have a skinny cow ice cream sandwich every night after dinner. I eat 1450 calories a day and if I exercise I usually some or all of those calories. Time is on your side. If you are in a hurry, it makes things more difficult.

    You can friend me and take a look at my journal if you need some ideas of how I do it.

    Good luck