Lack of support

First, congrats on the weight loss.

Second, not to be a jerk, but that's life. You're not making progress for anyone else's benefit so why would they compliment you? No ones going to be like, "hey thanks for not being so fat/skinny/etc) any more. Your progress really makes my life so much better." You'll get a well done from others when you do something for others.

You've got to be making progress for yourself and only yourself. If you're making the changes just for the kudos, talk to the person who raised you. If you have lost all that weight, then it sounds like you actually do have the support you need to be successful and you're not really lacking it after all.

If you want a reward for your accomplishments, sign up for a competition like a 15k and get a medal.

And again...good job on the weight loss.

Well change is hard for people to deal with. But that's on them. They'll come around. Or they won't. If they don't support you then don't look to them for support. They have to walk their path just like you have to walk yours. Sometimes the paths will be side by side. Sometimes not.

Either way as long as you're living life the way you want to then that's all you need because it's not them looking back at you in the mirror.

That may just be the kind of people they are. I don't give out a lot of compliment, and I don't really know what to do with a compliment when I get one. I'm a relatively fit person because every time I look at how I'm doing, I tell myself that I can do better, and then I try to. To me, it feels like "Yay! Good job!" means that I'm done and moving on to something else. I'm like that about everything, including things I truly enjoy. I don't knit so many socks because I want compliments for my socks. I knit more socks because I think of something I can improve over the last pair of socks I did.

Don't let it get to you. You're doing this for YOU, so congratulate yourself and move on to the next goal. The only person whose opinion matters is YOURS when it comes to your body. Other people may not feel comfortable commenting on it, even if you invite them to. Your accomplishment will not grant social skills to your loved ones. Love them anyway.

To be fair, losing weight is a gradual process and those closest to you are the least likely to notice. To them you look pretty much like you did yesterday, even if you look completely different than you did a few months ago. You're far more likely to get an reaction out of a friend or acquaintance you don't see too often.

lil_piece wrote: »

To be fair, losing weight is a gradual process and those closest to you are the least likely to notice. To them you look pretty much like you did yesterday, even if you look completely different than you did a few months ago. You're far more likely to get an reaction out of a friend or acquaintance you don't see too often.

^^ This!

A few years ago, I lost 96 lbs and no one that I saw on a daily basis seemed to really notice or care. I couldn't really notice a difference myself either! I could fit into one leg of my old jeans, but in my mind I was only slightly smaller.

However, people who hadn't seen me in a while totally flipped out.

If someone who sees you daily seems less than enthused, I think that has a lot to do with it. (Unless they are being obviously negative or unsupportive, of course.) They see you every day changing very gradually and it doesn't really register.

astgte wrote: »

One thing thats really surprised me is the lack of support, continued motivation even comments on how ive done, especially from my partner who is a fitness freak. It seems like a type of jealousy and an inabilty to say that ive done well. I asked her the other night, just what do I look like, I cant compute in my brain my new physique, and all she could say was I looked the same but that ive lost *kitten* loads of weight. I also find it from the sportier, healthier, fitter people I would know, they just dont seem to be able to say well done, more like comments like I really should tone up now, nothing positive. Is it just me that attracts that sort of behaviour, or is it a common thing that I wasnt aware of happening?

I agree more with the other posts, but just to be facetious, maybe she feels fitness is her territory and what are you suddenly doing here? She's the fit one, go away Hey, could be worth asking!

I would say this isn't uncommon. As for the weight loss, people often won't notice or won't comment - the changes could be too subtle or they fear being seen as rude. I have a relative who must have lost 100lbs+, practically halved her bodyweight, but she hasn't said anything about so nor will I, even though I want to congratulate her; it must have been a lot of hard work.

The fitness thing I read about a lot, and it happened to me. I assumed when I started doing all kinds of fitness activities my husband would be interested - he's an athletic man who enjoys endurance sports like cycling races, and goes to the gym to use the spin bikes and rowing machine for long periods. I went the strength-training route, lifting weights and progressing through bodyweight exercises. His reaction was hurtful. Strength training was 'stupid', 'pointless', the people who do it are 'stupid', he would never 'waste his time' on such things. I began to eat more protein and fat, he declared this 'rubbish I'd read on the internet'. He was dismissive of my weight loss and subsequently dismissive of my muscle definition.

It really changes how you see a person. It's not so much about the fitness anymore, but about the vitriol and the sneering.

My only tip is don't talk about it to anyone, ever, unless you want a faceful of sneers.