Weight Loss and Baby Loss

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Replies

  • pineapple_peach10
    pineapple_peach10 Posts: 239 Member
    I am so sorry for your losses. You are so strong and an inspiration! You look incredible!
  • angelexperiment
    angelexperiment Posts: 1,917 Member
    Hi. Thanks for sharing! I have had a blighted ovum and two other miscarriages. It is devastating. Shortly after my 2nd miscarriage like a week or two I found I was pregnant very early on and then the bleeding started! I thoughtI ccannot lose him! I knew it was a boy! I did everything not to lose him! And luckily he is here today and I am so blessed! He is 11 m o now and I cherish our every day together. I had a miscarriage after him just 2 months ago and didn't know I had been pregnant as I was exercising which caused the seperation. But I cherish all my living children 3. And my angel babies 3. They are all blessings and I know I will see them again;)
  • Robertus
    Robertus Posts: 558 Member
    Keep up the good work and living life.
    gentryatkinson wrote: »
    ... To say this is the worst thing that can happen to someone is an understatement. If you have not lost a child you will just never know. ...
    I barely remember memories of memories of my sister Agnes who died when I was only three years old (she was eight), but I do have a clear memory of the night she died, which was was terrifying. And while I do not remember her well, looking back over the many years since, I see how Agnes' death continued to have such a profound and devastating effect on my parents and the rest of our family. It is indeed a devastating loss that cries out for life.
  • gentryatkinson
    gentryatkinson Posts: 28 Member
    @robertus so perfectly well said. Thank you.
  • cluffgirl
    cluffgirl Posts: 2 Member
    I just found this as I was searching for something to help me. I just lost my baby boy 2 weeks ago, he was stillborn. I'm still very shocked and hurt right now, and am having a hard time keeping myself healthy. It is so hard to have the saggy body of someone who just gave birth, with no baby to hold. I'm beginning trying to loose the weight I gained this pregnancy, so that I can try for another baby again. I have had 6 pregnancies and 3 kids so far, and I want to be very healthy before trying again. I wasn't too overweight this time, but I don't want to have any guilt if something goes wrong again. I want to know I did everything in my power to have a healthy pregnancy! Thank you for sharing your story, I can relate almost exactly to yours.
  • Robertus
    Robertus Posts: 558 Member
    So sorry to hear this, cluffgirl. I hope you have some good emotional support to help you through this time.
  • gentryatkinson
    gentryatkinson Posts: 28 Member
    Cluffgirl I am so so sorry!! Please message me anytime if you need someone to talk to. There are several FB pages that have helped me tremendously: the MISS foundation, CarlyMarie, and still standing magazine. Again, so sorry for your loss. Being as healthy as we can be is the best thing for our mind and body. Many hugs and prayers to you.
  • Ciler_mcj
    Ciler_mcj Posts: 77 Member
    edited April 2015
    sorry for your loss i know the pain very well :(
  • knt217
    knt217 Posts: 115 Member
    edited April 2015
    @gentryatkinson I am so sorry for your losses. I, too, have found myself here after loss, though not full term like yours. That is so, so hard. I would be due June 28, but instead I lost Cohen on Feb 17 at 21 weeks. It was my 30th birthday. You're right in saying it's the worst imaginable heartache, and you wouldn't understand without having been through it yourself. I had an aquantance lose her twin boys two weeks before my loss, and even then I couldn't grasp the feeling until I found myself there. After having two completely normal pregnancies, and two perfect little boys, I never imagined it would happen to me....not that anyone does...but the pregnancy worries that you have when you first become pregnant were all completely gone for me now that this was my third time around. I, too, have turned to getting healthier and it's been amazing for my mental wellbeing. In the past I've heard people say that the gym is the best therapist...I thought it was silly, but I totally get it now. It still hurts to think about him and what could have, or should have been, but this route I've chosen has helped me so much. I'm 40 days in on MFP and have lost about 13#. Thank you for taking the time to share your story.
  • knt217
    knt217 Posts: 115 Member
    cluffgirl wrote: »
    I just found this as I was searching for something to help me. I just lost my baby boy 2 weeks ago, he was stillborn. I'm still very shocked and hurt right now, and am having a hard time keeping myself healthy. It is so hard to have the saggy body of someone who just gave birth, with no baby to hold. I'm beginning trying to loose the weight I gained this pregnancy, so that I can try for another baby again. I have had 6 pregnancies and 3 kids so far, and I want to be very healthy before trying again. I wasn't too overweight this time, but I don't want to have any guilt if something goes wrong again. I want to know I did everything in my power to have a healthy pregnancy! Thank you for sharing your story, I can relate almost exactly to yours.

    This. All of this.
  • jetortola
    jetortola Posts: 198 Member
    To everyone who has lost a child, I really can't imagine what you have been through, but when I try it is heartbreaking.

    You are brave and strong and resilient, and I wish you best of luck on your journey to a healthy life and complete family!
  • katalinax87
    katalinax87 Posts: 146 Member
    It's been 11 years since I lost my son. He was born premature with heart defects and passed away 3 weeks old on boxing day. I was 16 at the time and so for years I was a mother without a child, older beyond my years with this huge thing that I couldn't talk about because none of my friends could relate. I turned to food as a comfort and it only turned around when I became pregnant with my daughter and got diagnosed with gestational diabetes. That was my turning point. I had to be healthy for her. I had to finally grieve for my son and find a way that it doesn't kill me anymore.

    In some ways I consider myself very lucky. I got to have my boy for 3 weeks and there was some amazing moments. I'm so proud of the fight he gave. I look at his sister and think that she will always have an angle looking out for her. God bless all our children, here and gone x
  • sfHarris33
    sfHarris33 Posts: 2
    I know how you feel, kinda. I had my baby girl Alyssa on Nov 22 2013 and we got to know her for 4.5 months. She died April 10 2014. It's been a struggle. Somedays Idk if i can make it. Somedays i feel relatively normal. But the hole in my heart is still there. My husband & I have been looking to the future lately & we're gonna try to get pregnant next year. In the meantime i know i needed to lose weight, to give our nxt baby the best possible chance - something i feel i didnt do for Alyssa. Feel free to message me. It would be nice to correspond with another Mama who's lost a precious little one
  • gentryatkinson
    gentryatkinson Posts: 28 Member
    Oh my goodness, love to all of you!! Thank you for taking the time to respond and also reach out. We are all here for each other.
  • nursejulia1
    nursejulia1 Posts: 11 Member
    You are an amazing woman! You are beautiful and look good. You are very kind to share your story in the hopes of helping others!
  • molaufy
    molaufy Posts: 39 Member
    I read your story and my heart aches for so many reasons: I am the daughter of a midwife and I walked through an intensely traumatic and dangerous birth June 27th-29th of 2013, just as you too would have been bringing your sweet babe into the world. It was horrendous, and I left it physically and emotionally scarred, but with a live baby (which I was reminded all the time, and though in the moment it did not feel honoring of my sadness and trauma, I know it's objectively true). I cannot imagine going through that, and I'm so pained to think of the sadness and injustice of it all. I am a therapist that's worked a lot around grief, and I'm so glad to see that you have find a sense of community and some healing in the reclamation of your health. If you ever feel that you need more, please know that there are many moms who have experienced loss that are also therapists (2 therapists that I know personally included). These women would surround you with all of the love and healing energy that the world can hold. I imagine your sweet baby walks with you forever, and I cannot wait to hear how this all transforms your life in a way that brings great meaning to you and your family.

    Best on your healing and pregnancy journey. Sending you so much love and protection.
  • Crumpet_Girl
    Crumpet_Girl Posts: 276 Member
    You are truly an amazing woman for sharing and being so honest about your journey. I really, really, really hope your dreams come true. Keep up the good work, you a beautiful x
  • Mandea0321
    Mandea0321 Posts: 16 Member
    I lost my son at 2 days old to a genetic heart condition. I feel your pain. It's a hard battle. Stay strong and if you're like me and you are an emotional eater, losing a child makes losing weight that much more difficult, but as you've seen it is still possible. :smile: Hang in there. I'm sorry for your continued losses as well. Miscarrying is never easy either. Good luck in your future.
  • doctorwho2x
    doctorwho2x Posts: 60 Member
    Wow fantastic work!
  • gentryatkinson
    gentryatkinson Posts: 28 Member
    Thanks all. Your words mean so much!
  • fat2fitFawn
    fat2fitFawn Posts: 10 Member
    I feel your pain from all angles. I had 6 miscarriages before my son was born 4/2012. We tried for a year and finally got pregnant again. We had 4 ultrasounds and everything was healthy and fine. 5th ultrasound at sequential screening revealed no heartbeat. Miscarriage #7. Had to have a d&e so they could do pathology reports and chromosome tests. Everything came back normal. We have been seeing a fertility specialist because they told me getting pregnant on my own at this point has a greater chance of causing more heartache. So secondary infertility sucks. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am also trying to lose weigh because I blame my fat self for not being able to carry.
  • rwcw89
    rwcw89 Posts: 143 Member
    I'm sorry for your losses. I myself have had a miscarriage and as it was very early on it still was depressing to both of us. It took a few months afterwards to get pregnant and as we were blessed with a beautiful girl, the sadness is still there for that first baby. We weren't expecting to get pregnant right away and we both feel it was probably our boy we lost. I had set up a whole surprise and even videoed it for my husband when I told him . I still have it. No one knows of the loss, we didn't tell family. My husband isn't 100% healthy and every month I wasn't pregnant was agony thinking I never would be .i hope one day you'll get your rainbow baby. Keep working on a healthier you , take prenatals , and b12 and vitamin d to help ur system when ur ready to try again :-) the month I got pregnant I brought out the heavy artillery of vitamins and ttc stuff (preseed and softcups lmao) but really don't stress , keep it going to be healthier you and most of all enjoy your husband
  • dot124
    dot124 Posts: 4 Member
    gentryatkinson wrote: »
    My journey is not over but I still wanted to post this in the Success Stories category. I guess I have been overweight my entire life. When I was younger (middle school and high school) I thought I was very overweight, but looking back now I think I was just slightly overweight. But as an adult I really gained a lot.

    In January 2012 I decided to get it together. I somehow found MFP and it changed my entire life. My starting weight was 208. By September 2012 I was down to 148. I felt awesome. During this time period my husband and I were also trying to get pregnant with a second child. We already had one little boy. In May 2012 I found out I was pregnant, but at my first Dr. appointment they told me it was a Blighted Ovum. Which means there is a gestational sac but no fetus inside. I had to take pills that caused my body to miscarry. I was very sad and disappointed but I still kept on with my weight loss.

    As soon as I could, we started trying to pregnant again and I actually got pregnant right away. We found out we were having a girl and we were so excited. My due date was June 27, 2013. On June 16th (Father's Day) I didn't feel right and I couldn't remember the last time I felt my baby girl move. The next morning I was given the devastating news that there was no longer a heartbeat. So on June 17th at 38 1/2 weeks pregnant I gave birth to a perfect and beautiful still born baby girl we named Jozie. To say this is the worst thing that can happen to someone is an understatement. If you have not lost a child you will just never know.

    With how terrible this experience was my husband and I both wanted to start trying for another child as soon as I could. So in September 2013 we started trying again. 10 months later I found out I was pregnant. But unfortunately at 7 weeks, I miscarried. Again we started trying as soon as we could. I would have actually been due in about 2 weeks had we not miscarried.
    Each month I find out I'm not pregnant has been agonizing. Secondary infertility has added an entire new level of grief on top of grieving over my daughter.

    In November 2014 I decided to get it together again. I thought maybe if I am losing weight then it won't be so devastating every month I'm not pregnant. And I was right! Don't get me wrong, I still get really sad and angry every month, but it isn't the end of the world for me anymore like it used to be. Since then I have lost about 25 lbs. My current weight is 172.

    I write this in hopes that I can reach out to other baby loss mamas (and daddies) who need any help or support. You are not alone!

    Bless you xx
    I know how you feel, with all my heart!
    I am 52, got married at 18 - slim 124 lbs and pregnant - at nine months to the day, same thing happened to me, I didn't feel right, I knew I wasn't in labour but something was wrong and after a horrible labour gave birth to a perfect little boy!

    Went home, was got told try again - it won't happen again and three months later had a miscarriage!
    Got pregnant again, and had our lovely daughter (who is now 31)
    We wanted our children close together, so decided to have another, at nine months - I got pre aclampsia and my little girl died as she was being born, I was. To in a very good place at all, I gained three stone, with each pregnancy and never lost a lot, I did go on to have my son (27) and he was delivered at 8 months by c section, just to make sure he came out healthy.

    I plodded on in life overweight and it has only been this last few years, that I have lost most of it, I'm on my final stretch, to lose the stone I gained, due to stress over an illness .
    Life is very hard, as a lot of people, don't realise the heart ache involved, but I'm here if you want to message me.
    Time is a great healer, it is true and I'm sure as you lose a bit of weight, you will soon have a baby in your arms.

  • darkriver2012
    darkriver2012 Posts: 21 Member
    Thank you for sharing your story. I had a mc in March 2014 and I am also losing to get pregnant again.
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