I dont think I can make it :-(

I joined this site in November after having tried Weightwatchers Online which cost a fortune and didn’t work. So for a month I really stuck to the calories and didn’t even touch chocolate or fries. I dropped 5lbs, from 167.5 to 162.5 lbs. I jumped with joy like a little child when I saw the numbers on my scale that morning.

But somehow I feel as if my will power seems to have gone.
The following weekend I went to Pizza Express with my boyfriend and not only did I have a starter and high calorie pizza, I also had a desert. I weighed myself the next day and had gained 1.5lbs! :sad:

I was so upset about it. So this weekend I did not weigh myself because I was too worried to see my weight gone up further and didn’t want to be de-motivated by the scale. I was supposed to be 161lbs last Saturday with my Mini Goals. But I didn’t want to step on the scale, I knew I had not reached the 161lbs goal.

This week I have eaten so healthily for breakfast and lunch also, but in the evenings after dinner I have got weak and have eaten an awful lot of chocolate. I am due to weigh myself again this Saturday morning and I am terrified. I don’t know what to do if it shows again that I am 164lbs again or even more! I am so upset. I thought I had finally got it into my head to eat healthily and change my habits, but it seems that is not the case.
Before I met my current boyfriend I was in an awful relationship for 3 years and the only “treat” I could give myself was food. It’s a too long story to explain the why and how, but basically since then I have gained 3 stone at my heaviest and now have this idea in my head that eating a massive Mars bar is a treat, when really deep down I know it is anything but. In moderation it may be OK, but not every day obviously.

I don’t know what to do. I see so many MFP members that have lost the weight, some of them even double of what I aim to lose, and I look at their before and after pictures and think “I will never manage it”.

4 years ago I was slim and used to work out regularly. I don’t know where that person has gone.
I don’t understand how back then I used to love going to the gym and now I have to push myself every time to actually take the sports bag and go.

This morning I planned to go to the gym tonight after work, but already now I am trying to find excuses for not having to go. I don’t understand why my motivation only lasted a month, and even though I saw great results I lost the motivation and have given into eating bad foods again.

I feel like I will stay ugly and chubby and will never be able to look into the mirror one day and think “I did it and I look great!”.

:sad:

I know what you mean, of course 4lbs a month is the right way, i.e. 1lbs per week. but at this slow rate it is even more upsetting if, of 5lbs that took such an effort to lose, 1 lb is back on within a matter of a few days. :frown:

I have got several motivators. I want to wear a bikini in April in Florida, I want to fit back into my jodhpurs as I promised I would treat myself and take up horse riding again once I got back to my old weight and the old fotos I have from when I was 126lbs. I dont know what else I need in order to stop myself giving up again all the time. :ohwell:

See, I am really proud of myself when I managed to cook up something healthy. And all the meals I usually eat are healthy. its usually fruit or cereal for breakfast, salad for lunch and a low fat dinner or soup for dinner. I also eat healthy snacks like a banana or green grapes. But every now and then (or often like this week) I ruin the whole day with pigging out on sweets or eating a roll after dinner or so.
I dont even know why.

Keiko, you said "If you quit now you will only gain more and feel worse." Thank you, this is so true and will hopefully motivate me for the next few days. I just hope I will keep this in mind as long as possible and dont binge eat again.

I want this so much, I am so fed up being "the chubby one" and looking ridiculous in clothes that dont fit well and look baggy! I dont know why I give into bad foods sometimes.

Strawberryblonde1

Thank you for your post. I like the idea with the mini goals for each week and the cheat day. Maybe I have been to tough on myself with no chocolate at all, etc. I dont know.
I do plan ahead alot, the problem is I just cant stick to it. But today I have not "sinned" yet and I have decided to have my healthy dinner when I come home and then go to the gym for a little bit. That way I am also away from the chocolate box.

Thank you everyone, I really have got some good motivation through this post. It so helps to post your concerns on here and get feedback from other members.

:flowerforyou:

Cheryl,

Thank you, I did not know that this is what happens when you eat too much salt and sugar. I knew they were bad, but I didnt understand in what way. I learn more every day.

I am going to resist temptations until saturday morning and will have my weigh-in as scheduled. I would be happy even if I am back to 162.5lbs.

I almost cried when I read that you restricted chocolate!!! Remember, its not a diet and its not about what you can't have. It is about becomming healthier and making better choices overall. Maybe, instead of your boyfriend taking you to a pizza joint you could show him how to eat healthier. Cook a healthy meal together.

gmpearse,

thanks for your post. I would love to cook healthy meals together with my boyfriend. But he is not interested, as he doesnt have to lose weight. He is a typical guy, eats thick, fluffy white bread for breakfast (yuk!) white pasta, pizza, curries, chocolate,...
he is also someone that likes what he is used to.
I recently cooked a reeeeally healthy and yummy Quorn Chilli which I made up myself. It was so yummee! I made him eat it and he wasnt too impressed unfortunately. I have also tried and swap one of his favourite meals to a healthier option: make pasta bolognese with turkey mince instead of beef mince. He doesnt want to try brown pasta or bread and has reverted back to full fat bolognese.

Bless him he is so sweet. he got so excited recently when he found a recipe for me for a butternut squash pie. he thought it would be so healthy, but 1/3 of the pie (and its a small one!) had over 550 cals, not even to mention carbs and sugar count there. I told him I couldnt eat that because even though they made it sound healthy, the nutritional info was very bad.

No I think on this journey I am on my own. I think maybe next time we go to pizza express i leave out the desert and eat just a margherita pizza rather than full fat goats cheese one or opt for a salad.

See, i have these great ideas, but I never stick to them :grumble:

Hey Fitness_Chick and healthy_is_best

The rest of the day was good thank you, how was your day?
I got home and had my healthy dinner and did not touch the chocolate. It was sooo hard. but I stuck to it. :ohwell:
This morning I weighed myself and even though I have not gone down further in weight since my last check, at least I am back to 163lbs now which means I am only 0.5lbs more than at my last weight check. If I dont sin today I will be back to 162.5lbs tomorrow which would be quite good considering all the chocolate I munched recently!

This post was the best thing I could do yesterday. I love MFP for all the support you get when you feel down.

I think I am getting back on track now.

Thank you everyone :flowerforyou:

xxx

Thank you everyone for all the support.
I really appreciate you taking the time and reply to my post. :flowerforyou:

I have decided to try as best as I can, even over the xmas days and then weigh myself on 1st January and see the result.

Scales are so mean! :laugh: