Child loss/weight stressors....Help!

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freking
freking Posts: 5 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm 5'4 and weigh 213lbs. I feel completely out of control! I lost my 14 year old in an accident four years ago. Time does not heal. But...I feel like it's time to start taking care of myself. I'm trying MFP, but have a hard time being motivated! How do you stick with it?!

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  • kas1317
    kas1317 Posts: 67 Member
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    I am so sorry about the loss of your child.
    The main thing that has helped me is having a buddy to do it with you and encourage you. I also try to find social things to do that do not revolve around food all of the time. Instead going to Sunday brunch, I meet my buddy to go for a walk. That way we can catch up without stuffing our faces. I have had to say "no" to some things that I know i will be tempted to binge. I do not go out to eat much and not much alcohol.
  • kas1317
    kas1317 Posts: 67 Member
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    we are doing a weight loss challenge at work. Each person pledges $50. If they lose their 8% (random % we picked), they get their money back and the over all winner losing the most percentage, gets the rest of the money from the people that didnt lose their 8%. Having a challenge has really kicked the office in gear, especially with summer and vacations coming soon! I am winning right now at 10.8%. we still have 5 weeks left.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,276 Member
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    kas1317 wrote: »
    I am so sorry about the loss of your child.
    The main thing that has helped me is having a buddy to do it with you and encourage you. I also try to find social things to do that do not revolve around food all of the time. Instead going to Sunday brunch, I meet my buddy to go for a walk. That way we can catch up without stuffing our faces. I have had to say "no" to some things that I know i will be tempted to binge. I do not go out to eat much and not much alcohol.

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Many people here have suffered the loss of a loved one that has contributed to their own ill health. The above advice is great. Is there someone you can meet up with and go for walks or hikes? I swim and dance during the week, but my favorite thing is meeting my sister on Sundays for a run. We run for an hour and talk over coffee for two :heart: It's our time. And we both count on it now. Every now and then, we enter an event and run a 10K to make sure we don't veer off course. Having someone to chat with and exercise with is a great way to stick with it. Good luck.
  • Jubee13
    Jubee13 Posts: 132 Member
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    I'm not sure I have any answers, but I can say I know your struggle. I lost my 17 year old son 2 years ago.
    It seems so trivial to worry about weight, and at times I feel guilty about it. So many things that used to matter to me are no longer important. But I've found that if I eat well and exercise, it helps me feel a little better. Honestly, I don't care anymore about about being healthy or living longer, but if I let myself eat junk and lay on the couch, I get more and more depressed. Taking care of myself helps me cope a little better. I am a runner, and when things get very bad, if I can force myself to get outside and go for a run, it helps me a lot.
    I used MFP before I lost my son, and it is much harder to stay motivated now. BUT, you will feel better if you take care of yourself.
    I hope I helped in some way.
  • freking
    freking Posts: 5 Member
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    Jubee13 wrote: »
    I'm not sure I have any answers, but I can say I know your struggle. I lost my 17 year old son 2 years ago.
    It seems so trivial to worry about weight, and at times I feel guilty about it. So many things that used to matter to me are no longer important. But I've found that if I eat well and exercise, it helps me feel a little better. Honestly, I don't care anymore about about being healthy or living longer, but if I let myself eat junk and lay on the couch, I get more and more depressed. Taking care of myself helps me cope a little better. I am a runner, and when things get very bad, if I can force myself to get outside and go for a run, it helps me a lot.
    I used MFP before I lost my son, and it is much harder to stay motivated now. BUT, you will feel better if you take care of yourself.
    I hope I helped in some way.

    Thank you for your input! At the two year point...after losing my son...I couldn't have cared less about losing weight. You are doing really well...hang in there! You are totally right when you say that you don't care about being healthy or living longer. It's been 4 years and I struggle with that daily. Hearing you say that, makes me realize that I'm not alone!! Thank you! Now....how do we get passed that incredibly big hurdle. I guess just keep trying!
  • jaatree
    jaatree Posts: 1,967 Member
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    im really sorry for your loss. can't even imagine the pain you have gone through and it definitely takes it's toll.

    dedicate your weight loss goal to your son, im sure wherever he is he would be really proud seeing his mum choosing an active life style getting to target weight and becoming healthier.

    im no expert but with my experience i can advice that start with sleeping atleast 7 to 8 hours, getting up early, walking/jogging for as little as 1 or 2 KMS, eating healthy breakfast. i can vouch that these things not only helps in loosing weight but also elevating spirit. also eating a lots of high water content fruits and veggies daily like melons oranges cucumbers tomatos carrots works wonders in elevating mood. and you loose weight rapidly too.

    I wish you a successful journey towards better health ahead. TC.
  • freking
    freking Posts: 5 Member
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    Thank you all for your great advice!
  • IoneTCrosby
    IoneTCrosby Posts: 25 Member
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    Hi :) ! I'm very sorry for your loss! I have children on my own, I this can't imagine how hard this been for you :'( ! Take care yourself eating healthier, exercising and my find a recovery grief group on your local church or city, talk to a friend about your goals make him accountable or join you my help ! I wish you the best! <3
  • CorrinaS
    CorrinaS Posts: 4 Member
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    I totally get where you are coming from, my son died almost 4 yrs ago as well and I am just restarting cause I was/am out of control too. I really don't have anyone to relate to so motivation is a really big thing for me. I know in my head that I need to be better but that has a hard time getting to my heart. And a buddy for accountability IRL is not really in the cards right now. Sooo hoping to find a buddy here. Would you like to try?

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