The "You're Getting Too Skinny" Naysayers

It's really hard to overcome people when they offer negativity, and it affects different people differently. One way you might be able to "shut it down" could be to show her what you've eaten (such as your diary). It's kind of personal, but when on paper it's really easy to see exactly how much you've eaten (which is why it's really effective for weight loss). Also, being honest with how her comments make you feel will help her understand your point of view. And last, just remember that this community is a support system and that everyone here understands where you're coming from. As long as you're healthy and happy, then you keep living your life as you are.

Ohhhh GAWD this drives me NUTS!!! My dad is like this. I was so proud and excited when I dropped to the 150's and called him and his only response was "Noooo, don't lose anymore weight, you're doing too much." It sucks because you want to share your achievements with people you love but for some reason change is hard for some folks watching us transform. Who knows why. Maybe it reminds them that they are not in the best health, or are lazy, or just don't want to pursue better fitness. Maybe they just like you the way you are and seeing you change makes them uneasy. I have found more support from strangers online than from people who I considered close friends and family! It's funny how that works!

I think you just have to not give a *kitten* when all those naysayers try to bring you down. This journey is about YOU and as long as you are feeling good and confident, don't let others persuade you otherwise!

Maybe say something along the lines of, "thanks for your concern, but my doctor has approved my diet and exercise routine".

Gotta be honest -- a lot of times when people say this it's because people who are trying to lose weight demonstrate behavior that really does make people worry (skipping meals or eating so lightly that someone would not fail to notice), or we actually do talk about weight loss efforts a lot/ way too much. That is obsessive, it's concerning to people who care about us, simply annoying to people who don't particularly care, and it's super common.

I've lost <170 lbs: more than half my bodyweight. I've worked hard, and it shows. I'm no longer obese; I'm barely overweight by a couple of pounds. I have visible muscle definition. But I only talk about it here on MFP, and with people IRL who ask me about it (because, sure, that happens). And generally with people IRL I'll talk more about my fitness goals and achievements than dieting or weight loss ones, or when responding to direct questions about dieting I'll usually respond that it's really just a matter of "keeping a food log so I don't overeat so much like I used to." Of course it's more complicated than that -- but ultimately that's all it boils down to, and it's not constructive to showboat about the details that worked for me (and that might not work for someone else's lifestyle or preferences).

Everyone who's aware that I'm losing weight knows I'm going slow at this point. They see me eat food; some people see me eat a lot of food sometimes. I give people who care about me evidence every day that I'm not in fact doing anything unhealthy. Sometimes someone IRL will ask if I'm still losing weight (or "accuse" me of still losing weight), and when I say "yes, I am," they might ask me when I'm going to stop, or once in a very great while they'll say something like "But you really don't look like you have much to spare." To which I reply as offhandedly as I can manage "well, I'm still clinically about 5 lbs overweight. I know I'm eating a healthy amount of food at a very slight deficit. Weight loss is super slow at this point, which is all according to plan. There's no hurry to change anything, so we'll see how it goes" and shrug my shoulders. Shuts that conversation right down.

Frankly, I feel pretty bulletproof from being accused of being "obsessive." What I'm saying is, maybe make some effort to not encourage the conversation to go there. Demonstrate your non-obsessiveness.

It is especially hard when this is coming from someone you care about. If ignoring the comments is not enough you may just want to tell her that they are making you uncomfortable, that you are trying to achieve a healthy lifestyle and you are doing it in a way that is smart. Maybe she can join mfp and see your progress and track her own. I am sorry you are having to go through this! Remember, you have support here and you are doing what you need to do to improve your life!! Don't let others get you down, this is for you!!!

sympha01 wrote: »

Gotta be honest -- a lot of times when people say this it's because people who are trying to lose weight demonstrate behavior that really does make people worry (skipping meals or eating so lightly that someone would not fail to notice), or we actually do talk about weight loss efforts a lot/ way too much. That is obsessive, it's concerning to people who care about us, simply annoying to people who don't particularly care, and it's super common.

I've lost <170 lbs: more than half my bodyweight. I've worked hard, and it shows. I'm no longer obese; I'm barely overweight by a couple of pounds. I have visible muscle definition. But I only talk about it here on MFP, and with people IRL who ask me about it (because, sure, that happens). And generally with people IRL I'll talk more about my fitness goals and achievements than dieting or weight loss ones, or when responding to direct questions about dieting I'll usually respond that it's really just a matter of "keeping a food log so I don't overeat so much like I used to." Of course it's more complicated than that -- but ultimately that's all it boils down to, and it's not constructive to showboat about the details that worked for me (and that might not work for someone else's lifestyle or preferences).

Everyone who's aware that I'm losing weight knows I'm going slow at this point. They see me eat food; some people see me eat a lot of food sometimes. I give people who care about me evidence every day that I'm not in fact doing anything unhealthy. Sometimes someone IRL will ask if I'm still losing weight (or "accuse" me of still losing weight), and when I say "yes, I am," they might ask me when I'm going to stop, or once in a very great while they'll say something like "But you really don't look like you have much to spare." To which I reply as offhandedly as I can manage "well, I'm still clinically about 5 lbs overweight. I know I'm eating a healthy amount of food at a very slight deficit. Weight loss is super slow at this point, which is all according to plan. There's no hurry to change anything, so we'll see how it goes" and shrug my shoulders. Shuts that conversation right down.

Frankly, I feel pretty bulletproof from being accused of being "obsessive." What I'm saying is, maybe make some effort to not encourage the conversation to go there. Demonstrate your non-obsessiveness.

every word of this!