How to handle a competitive friend?

Maybe, every time you loose weight, tell she's doing really well also?

I don't know, sorry. It's a bit of a hard one.

Yes and you are going to have to talk to her, it doesn't have to be a big deal unless you make it that way. But trust me if you don't at least acknowledge that she's making you feel some kind of way it will manifest itself in other ways. Because it's a friend you love dearly the only thing holding you back from sharing your feelings with her is you. Just mention it. I have learned from personal experience, you will pull back from her and go it on your own and will find yourself making excuses not to hang out and do things because you already have this pre-anxiety in knowing she's always comparing herself to you (which in itself can be harmless). I am not a counselor but I had to have a similar talk with my friend and it helped me. I realize everyone is different but it sounds like it may be just what you need. And it will help you not feel so bad about your great accomplishments. You deserve to be happy for yourself not down playing everything so you don't hurt someone's feelings. Friends should never put us in a situation where we have to walk on egg shells. Be and do you.

Too many people get hung up on programmes like Biggest Looser and My Big Fat Diet Show and the like and forget that loosing weight is a lifestyle choice not a competition.

Amen!

I've had a friend who thought we were competing, not about weight loss, but about other things, and honestly, it was her way of justifying her jealousy. She admitted later to feeling jealous, so she would make slight stabs at me here and there and try and brag about things she was doing. Me, being an encouraging and non competitive person was always happy for her when she had positive things happen, but when I did something well, she would make remarks to bring me down. I just have to say, that after all this I don't think I will be able to continue being friends with her, at least not close. People with insecurities that prompt them to strive to take down others don't deserve friends like me! that's all I gotta say,

you know, i was avoiding hanging out with a couple friends because I was nervous about not being able to eat my diet foods and stuff and getting spoken to about my weight loss in a judgmental manner...this post just let me realize, the ball is in my court and couldn't be moreso! I can bring what I wanna eat there, and show them what I'm doing. Put your head up and say, this is who I am! If she is your bestie, really, she will stick and encourage. If not, let her learn self-confidence on her own, it's the only way insecurities are lost and confidence is found - nobody can do it for her or for you or for me

That's a difficult position to be in. I echo others - I would go ahead and sit down and talk with her. Let her know how you're feeling.

If you can get a good outcome there, you might suggest she try MFP too, conditionally.
The first condition being - don't offer it unless YOU would feel comfortable having her here.
Second, only suggest it if you think she will actually do it and put in the work. If not, it may just make her more resentful and critical. You mentioned she's trying lose weight with a different method - but not quite as successfully, perhaps? Is that because she's not committed to it, or because it's not a very good method? If it's the former, then MFP might not help and might only add fuel to the fire. If it's the latter, then maybe she'd have her own successes with MFP and not feel like she's "failing" where you're succeeding.

I hope you can get it resolved. It's really hard when you feel like you can't celebrate without hurting someone. Good luck with it!

When I started to lose weight I was feeling pretty great about it. My best friend on the other hand thought I was losing for the wrong reasons (to make my bf happy) and was rude about my dedication. She mocked me when I talked about how many calories something was and laughed at me for being so careful about what I eat. Over the months when I was working on a healthier me by eating less and exercise my friend (who is also my co-worker) decided to stop eating lunch as a means for losing weight. She never discussed it with me but working with her I noticed she'd stopped eating. After some time had past she had lost I'm guessing about the same amount of weight I have by totally different method. I couldn't help but be confused and started to get jealous that she made it look so easy. I had been making this huge lifestyle change- thinking about everything I put in my mouth for a year! And in a few short months she was getting all of these compliments for what I saw as doing it the -WRONG- way. It made me want to use her method (eating dinner only) to lose more weight. Even after she'd lost some weight I asked her to go on walks with me (She's ALSO my neighbor!) but she said "uh-no- I don't walk." I still struggle a little with this because I thought she'd put weight back on or see some kind of negative result for doing it the wrong way but she's still eating dinner only and still tiny. It's sad but the only thing that makes me feel better about it is that I've seen her loose skin from losing so quickly. I have loose skin too but it's not as bad. I guess I'm just saying- it can be really hard to go about different ways of losing weight with a friend. My friend was silently competitive and I feel like that almost made it worse! If I were you I'd just try to be encouraging to your friend. I wish that I would have tried to be more encouraging in my situation - I just had trouble encouraging bad weight loss behavior.

Editing to say.. I never did sit down with my friend and say- I don't think you're being healthy. I don't understand how you could mock me for my efforts then turn around and try to lose weight THIS way. There is definitely tension between us sometimes (for a few reasons) and I wish I felt more courage to talk with her about it. As for the weight loss subject I feel like the opportunity to talk about it has passed.

I can totally relate to you, I'm going through the same thing with my good friend right now. I'm at the point where I can't share anything about my weight loss because what ever I say, she has to come back and say that either she is doing it better or the same. For example I shared via text that I was happy to be in a size 8 again and she totally ignored my text and then the next day she texted me and said "wooohoooo I'm a size 8" I feel like I can't share anything with her. She's losing weight with medifast and I have done it just with calorie counting and exercising and I don't feel like she gives me any credit for the way I have lost my weight. Yet she has seen me work hard for the past 2 years almost, her weight came off over night seems like. We were at a party and a bunch of people were acknowledging her weight loss and she just stood there next to me and took all the glory and said nothing about me , she just sat there and let me listen to other people complimenting her. If it was me I would have acknowledged her weight loss if somebody complimented me and she was standing right next to me. It's sad. My solution, I'm pulling back and not sharing things with her anymore and it's not just with weight with everything I feel like she has to one up me on everything pathetic.