No support when I could use it. :(

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Gen716
Gen716 Posts: 8 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've been doing this for over a month now, no one around me is supportive. If they aren't making jokes about the changes I'm making, they show no care at all. I have lost nearly 13 pounds by just changing my eating habits. I know it's not a lot but it's an accomplishment and I'm proud of it...until someone asks how much I've lost so far. Then I bow my head in shame and mutter the number.

I have yet to start going to the gym. I've had a membership for over a year, my sister and I use to go together but then she stopped coming with me. I kept going by myself for a bit but then one night while I was using the bikes two guys came over. One went to use the bike next to me and his friend said, "Not those ones, those are the bikes for lazy people", looking at me. I always chose those ones because of having a larger backside it was more comfortable so I could focus on peddling rather than being uncomfortable. It's crazy how such a small remark completely tore down all of my confidence. I tried to go back a few times but my anxiety wouldn't allow me to get out of the car.

It's rather bothersome that being over weight gets me ridiculed but trying to change that also brings judgement not only from strangers but also friends and family. Despite this I keep plugging on with my healthier eating and have decided next week I am going to the gym, I'm not giving myself the option to be scared to. I've decided that my life, happiness, and body image are mine and no one else's. However it would be nice if someone around me supported me even just alittle because I'm not sure if I can keep telling myself to hold my head up high when my confidence is so low.
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Replies

  • misswhite584
    misswhite584 Posts: 2 Member
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    Keep it up I lost 10 lbs already don't let others matter. What matters is how proud u become of urself
  • Lindy901
    Lindy901 Posts: 71 Member
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    When I first started losing, I didn't share any of the pounds lost with anyone. I told them it was my lifestyle change and didn't matter how many pounds. Sounds to me like you need to decide how important these people are you surround yourself with if they ridicule you like that. You need to get over that and hold your head up high. Do it for yourself, no one else.
  • onlyadrizzle
    onlyadrizzle Posts: 60 Member
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    13 pounds is an amazing loss! Don't think it's not! So many people wish they could lose that much! And for those guys that said that remark, to be blunt they are just *kitten* and can go *kitten* themselves. Whenever I'm at the gym I never judge someone no matter what their size is because guess what, they are at the gym! They are putting in effort and trying to be healthier so how could I ever judge someone for that? I think most people think more like me opposed to those *kitten*. I know the majority of people at the gym at my college are actually extremely positive and supportive towards anyone at the gym and the people who judge are just those self absorbed jerks you have to forget about.

    Also, there is no "lazy" bike. Use whatever machine is the best for you and will give you the best workout for YOUR body!

    You can add me as a friend on here if you would like! I'd definitely be supportive!
  • aliciasilfies
    aliciasilfies Posts: 179 Member
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    13 pounds is an accomplishment and you should be proud of it! Everyone has to start somewhere. Every step you take is one more in the right direction. Don't forget that! Good luck at the gym. :)
  • mmspurge
    mmspurge Posts: 2 Member
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    Keep going! You can't change how the people around you will act but you can change yourself. In the process, you might find yourself with new friends that are supportive!
  • BHRussell
    BHRussell Posts: 83 Member
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    Keep it up... be buds if u want
  • Gen716
    Gen716 Posts: 8 Member
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    Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. :)
  • decotterell
    decotterell Posts: 47 Member
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    13 pounds in a month is huge. Don't quit no matter what. You can do it. It took me about 8 months to lose 60 pounds, but it happened. Exercise plays an important role in getting our metabolism moving. A diabetic nurse practioner that I would see at the VA clinic I went to told me that some studies show that 30 minutes of intense exercise can effect the body's metabolism for up to 48 hours. My wife started MFP in January and has lost over 30 pounds now. She seems to be losing a little slower than I did, but she keeps telling herself that anything less than what she was the last time she weighed is an accomplishment. My son started mid September 2014 and has lost 92 pounds. So, be patient and keep doing what you know is good for you.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    edited May 2015
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    I'm sorry this is upsetting you so much. Some people truly are jerks, but to be honest, it sounds to me like there's some self-esteem issues in there too. Take care of yourself, you are the only one who can decide you are worth it. In the meantime, don't discuss your weight loss with others (it opens you up to criticism, this is my opinion only), do you what you know is working, keep moving forward, and add some supportive people here. The rest can suck it :heart:

    ETA: 13 lbs gone is fabulous, don't let anyone take that victory away from you.
  • Gen716
    Gen716 Posts: 8 Member
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    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    I'm sorry this is upsetting you so much. Some people truly are jerks, but to be honest, it sounds to me like there's some self-esteem issues in there too. Take care of yourself, you are the only one who can decide you are worth it. In the meantime, don't discuss your weight loss with others (it opens you up to criticism, this is my opinion only), do you what you know is working, keep moving forward, and add some supportive people here. The rest can suck it :heart:

    ETA: 13 lbs gone is fabulous, don't let anyone take that victory away from you.

    Your words are very much appreciated and your intuition is spot on.
  • Gen716
    Gen716 Posts: 8 Member
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    aliciasilfies wrote: »
    13 pounds is an accomplishment and you should be proud of it! Everyone has to start somewhere. Every step you take is one more in the right direction. Don't forget that! Good luck at the gym. :)

    Thank you! I'm still nervous but I have a few days to shake that off!
  • Gen716
    Gen716 Posts: 8 Member
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    decotterell wrote: »
    13 pounds in a month is huge. Don't quit no matter what. You can do it. It took me about 8 months to lose 60 pounds, but it happened. Exercise plays an important role in getting our metabolism moving. A diabetic nurse practioner that I would see at the VA clinic I went to told me that some studies show that 30 minutes of intense exercise can effect the body's metabolism for up to 48 hours. My wife started MFP in January and has lost over 30 pounds now. She seems to be losing a little slower than I did, but she keeps telling herself that anything less than what she was the last time she weighed is an accomplishment. My son started mid September 2014 and has lost 92 pounds. So, be patient and keep doing what you know is good for you.

    Wow those are huge accomplishments! Congratulations to you and your family, and thank you for the support.

  • bri170lb
    bri170lb Posts: 1,375 Member
    edited May 2015
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    Hey girl! 13 pounds in a month! Hello! You're doing great and have every right to be proud!

    I am 51 years old and have let comments like the one that colossal a..ho.. made keep me away from the gym and sports for nearly my entire life. I am just starting to realize that I don't care what anyone else thinks. I am going to do what's right for me because it's right for me. You should do what's right for you!

    Having said that...for the month of May one of my goals is to go to the gym or take a class (like zumba or aqua-size) at least one time each week but it's the 6th and I haven't been able to find the courage to go.

    So...i challenge you to go to the gym at least once between now and Sunday night and I promise to do the same.

    And... if any jerks are rude just tell them that your fat will go away but stupid lasts forever!

    I dare you. I triple dog dare you!
  • HannaSusi
    HannaSusi Posts: 857 Member
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    13 pounds in a month is great! That's about as much as you CAN lose in a month without doing some damage to yourself. You should be proud of yourself :) I'm proud of you. You're clearly on the right track. Remember, you are doing this for YOU, not for anyone else.

    I wouldn't worry too much about the gym right now. Go there only if you feel like going. Constantly worrying about stuff and feeling guilty about NOT going is going to elevate your stress levels which in turn slows down the weight loss. So try to stay relaxed and positive :)

    They say you get fit at the gym and lose weight in the kitchen. Maybe you could concentrate on eating right at first, and add the gym when you feel better about going there?

    I'm two months in my own journey, started from 232lbs and am now down to 210. I'm taking the low carb (keto) route with a few days of exercise per week, mostly walking and horseback riding. I'm doing my best to keep myself motivated, so if you need kind and encouraging words every now and then, feel free to friend me :)
  • 85kurtz
    85kurtz Posts: 276 Member
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    You know what? I had a similar experience today at the gym. I was using the rowing machine and working really hard. Two girls came along and looked at me, one said to the other "check the Buddha". I was mortified and so embarrassed, you see I do have a big tummy. They went onto do weights and I did too as is my usual thing. Coincidence meant that I was following one of these girls and I was routinely lifting 10 - 15 kg heavier than her. She was a good 20 years younger than me as well. As a 53 year old female " Buddha" I thought " Yeah see me!!!! :smiley: Go to that gym and show those idiots what you can do.
  • Gabrielm80
    Gabrielm80 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    Don't listen to critics. I won't sugar coat it. If someone you don't know saying something nasty is going to case you to quit. You will quit again and again. That thing you have to get over. It's hard to just decide to stop listening to them I know, and it probably is against your personality type(I'm guessing you are one of those people that has great empathy towards other. So much you probably have more than enough to spare.). Congratulations than because that means your not one of those mean crabby people. Unfortunately it may prone you to be affected by others words. Instead of feeling hurt by them try and channel your empathy super powers and pity those haters. Image their low self worth they must have to put others down. That guy wasn't putting you down as much as he was showing his insecurities. We wanted to appear tough and knowledgeable in front of his friend. You were an innocent bystander of his weak insecurity and self doubts. You may or may not become one that easily takes someone's negativity to push you to work harder, but hopefully if you just learn to pity those less enlightened jerks you can brush aside and redirect it away.
  • Gabrielm80
    Gabrielm80 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    Oh and 13 pounds is huge. It's no small feat be proud and wear that weight loss proudly.
  • KayleighIsGoingFatToFit
    KayleighIsGoingFatToFit Posts: 203 Member
    edited May 2015
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    You have done great so far :)
    People around you may not be as supportive as you would like them to be as its not their journey to take.
    Its your journey and you are doing it for yourself so focus on yourself and ignore the negativity :)
  • jorinya
    jorinya Posts: 933 Member
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    Are you kidding me...... 13lbs is huge in a month!!!! Well done you!!!! You are absolutely fantastic!!!! You rock!!!!!!!
    Never mind the idiot at the gym, he was just jealous of how beautiful you looked and wants a bigger rear end. He'll need it to balance that big fat head of his. Maybe he's small where it counts!!!! Are you laughing yet?????
    Yes!!! Then good, my job is done. Don't listen to negative comments cos those that say them normally are not happy in their own skin so it doesn't count! We here at MFP will always support and help you because we know what you are going through. Keep your chin up and remember you are beautiful just the way you are. Think of how much more beautiful you will be at the finish line!!!! Go and treat yourself to a massage, facial, hair cut or whatever will make you feel good. You deserve it, losing weight is hard work. Great job!!!!
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
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    13lb in a month is really really good, never forget that! The gym is not the only place to exercise though. I mostly walk around the neighbourhood or do Aerobics (Rosemary Coneley or Davina McCall) DVDs or Wii Zumba at home. I go to one class which is in a school hall, its really friendly and with he lights low and the disco lights is more of a party! We do 45 mins Zumba, 5 minute break then 45 mins Fitsteps, and its great for toning legs.

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