Lose 40-50 pounds in two weeks - HELP

mrvikingman
mrvikingman Posts: 83 Member
edited November 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
I need to lose 40-50 pounds in two weeks because an event is coming up that I've known about for 6 months but have been putting off actually dieting or exercising. Does anyone have any tips or a diet plan I could follow? I'm thinking about taking a week-long correspondence course that will allow me to violate the laws of Physics so I can HEALTHILY lose the weight. My friend's cousin's barber said eating tiny amounts of anti-matter will slowly blast the fat away, can anyone recommend a good fitness program to go along with this? Thanks!!!!!

/s

Replies

  • girlalmighty08
    girlalmighty08 Posts: 130 Member
    Is this a serious question?
  • drjimmy86
    drjimmy86 Posts: 5 Member
    Amputation might get you there. But seriously, no.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,373 Member
    Be careful where you buy your anti-matter, there are a lot of scams and substandard products out there.
  • xMrBunglex
    xMrBunglex Posts: 1,121 Member
    Sad thing is I didn't even bat an eye when I read the title of this thread.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    Im sorry hon. This is not possible.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    I'm a certified Particle Annihilation Coach™. I love to help people SO much that if you buy my $7 billion starter pack of anti-quarks, I'll throw in a t-shirt for free!!
  • JSurita2
    JSurita2 Posts: 1,304 Member
    Refer to this thread, you'll find plenty of answers.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10156638/lose-35-40-pounds-in-2-months#latest
  • Chewitz
    Chewitz Posts: 217 Member
    Only way is to consume 0 calories and burn thousands of calories a day.... so nope not possible
  • mrvikingman
    mrvikingman Posts: 83 Member
    Methinks some people didn't read the post or think this is serious :D
  • galgenstrick
    galgenstrick Posts: 2,086 Member
    edited May 2015
    If you take a spin class, be sure to not take those spin-1/2 fermions, they make you dizzy.
  • punkuate
    punkuate Posts: 127 Member
    Just eat clean (like scrub until its shiny) and weigh your food. You can totes do this. My friends sisters hamster did this and it worked.
  • cat_lady77
    cat_lady77 Posts: 203 Member
    Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
  • Laurend224
    Laurend224 Posts: 1,748 Member
    :D
  • NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner
    NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner Posts: 1,018 Member
    I tried to lose 300lb by Friday and people told me I was an abusive spammer. I was hurt. I just wanted to be less fat :(

    You can totes do this!!!!
  • juggernaut1974
    juggernaut1974 Posts: 6,212 Member
    Trolling score: 0/10 Too obvious
  • aubyshortcake
    aubyshortcake Posts: 796 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    Be careful where you buy your anti-matter, there are a lot of scams and substandard products out there.

    I second this. I got mine off craigslist and it disintegrated half my jaw.
  • teanahk
    teanahk Posts: 81 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    Be careful where you buy your anti-matter, there are a lot of scams and substandard products out there.

    You want to be sure to get the Anti-Matter that's endorsed by Dr. Oz. That guy is like really a doctor or something and he wouldn't suggest anything that didn't work.
  • jessicapk
    jessicapk Posts: 574 Member
    karla24687 wrote: »
    Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    Bwah ha ha ha ha!!! Love this!

    Are people seriously thinking this is real? I saw the forum post it's mocking earlier and thought "blech" and moved on. But this response was priceless :D
  • mantium999
    mantium999 Posts: 1,490 Member
    The only good thing about anti-matter is the improvement of bowel movements. Or so I am told.
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    Make sure you don't eat the anti-matter after 7pm. It turns straight to fat then.
  • nikkib0103
    nikkib0103 Posts: 969 Member
    teanahk wrote: »
    ythannah wrote: »
    Be careful where you buy your anti-matter, there are a lot of scams and substandard products out there.

    You want to be sure to get the Anti-Matter that's endorsed by Dr. Oz. That guy is like really a doctor or something and he wouldn't suggest anything that didn't work.

    I think he has special persimmon flavored anti matter that works even faster...
  • mrvikingman
    mrvikingman Posts: 83 Member
    ceoverturf wrote: »
    Trolling score: 0/10 Too obvious

    Well, duh. I couldn't have made it MORE obvious :smile:
  • Naaer
    Naaer Posts: 212 Member
    My answer: No way!!!
  • YolliB2014
    YolliB2014 Posts: 104 Member
    LOL
  • missomgitsica
    missomgitsica Posts: 496 Member
    sofaking6 wrote: »
    I'm a certified Particle Annihilation Coach™. I love to help people SO much that if you buy my $7 billion starter pack of anti-quarks, I'll throw in a t-shirt for free!!

    This entertained me.
  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
    karla24687 wrote: »
    Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    Cute.

    @sofaking6 - I think that is AMAZING!! Maybe you could take me under your wing and learn me how to be a coach myself. Also, can I sell people powdered food as part of this?
  • whaambulance
    whaambulance Posts: 1 Member
    ceoverturf wrote: »
    Trolling score: 0/10 Too obvious

    This wasn't even a troll post. It's satirical. And it was kind of funny.
  • epona08
    epona08 Posts: 39 Member
    Yes, but only if you invest in the TapeWorm Diet. This way you can continue to eat whatever you want, no move a muscle and drop all the weight you need! Once you're at your goal weight, just take a deworming pill and you'll be all set. It may sound to good to be true, but it's not. It's just pure MAGIC. My aunt's first cousin's dog tried it and he lost 50 pounds in 4 hours!!!
  • star1407
    star1407 Posts: 588 Member
    I have a special super secret blend of anti matter, coconut oil and kale. Pay me £100 and I'll share the recipe with you

    No refunds
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    girlviernes wrote: »
    karla24687 wrote: »
    Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    Cute.

    @sofaking6 - I think that is AMAZING!! Maybe you could take me under your wing and learn me how to be a coach myself. Also, can I sell people powdered food as part of this?

    Oh my gosh I would be so happy to, because I just want to help people out of love and stuff! If you send me $40 billion I will send you back a handwritten note on the back of a napkin, along with a few grams of a powdery substance. If you can make $100 billion from selling that, you will give it all to me and then you will be a COACH!!! It's so great being so nice to people, I really can't wait for you to experience it yourself so please hurry up with that payment k?
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