A Bad Thing? Really?

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Kristy0728
Kristy0728 Posts: 63
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
So - Food is something I pay attention to. How much I eat, what I eat, constantly trying to make better choices. My husband and I both have had problems with our weight, along with several members of both our families. Obesity is something that runs in both our families. Along with high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer... We have 2 young daughters. Both I was told by our physician had perfect BMI for their ages. I know this because I asked after several people telling me they were to skinny and they didn't eat enough. I also I had someone tell me I had to be careful I wasn't setting my daughters up to have eating disorders. My husband and I make very sure we talk to our daughters about food, exercise and being healthy.

I recently had one of them say "You don't get to eat cookies. You are on a diet." Me: "No honey, I am not on a diet, I am trying to make sure I eat enough good food. Why don't was each have 2 cookies and put the rest away?"

These are the things we have talked about:
No a couple of cookies aren't bad for you. But eating 5 or 10 cookies at a time, ALL the time isn't a good idea...
Good food makes your heart and body healthy, you should try to eat ENOUGH of the right healthy food for you - not eating enough isn't healthy either...
Having a strong heart, being active and eating well make you healthy just being skinny doesn't make you healthy.

This is a BAD thing? Really?

Replies

  • lelliebugh
    lelliebugh Posts: 339 Member
    I wish my parents would have done those things. That is great that you talk to your girls.
  • Bella1hud
    Bella1hud Posts: 530 Member
    Wow, it would be great if more parents would take your very sensible approach, and we likely wouldn't have the crisis of eating disorders amongso many young people. Well done!
  • SimplyDeLish
    SimplyDeLish Posts: 539
    Sounds like you are laying the groundwork for them to have a very healthy lifestyle. I was always a chunky kid and my mom constantly put me on a diet (she was a VERY large woman herself)...what I realize now that when she was telling me how fat I was I weighed 140 and was 5'8"...oh I wish I had known then what I know now. I may not have been skinny, but I was at a very healthy weight!

    Keep up the good work with your girls! You sound like great parents!
  • GLLove
    GLLove Posts: 77
    I think you are doing an amazing job. And thats what it is, your JOB, to educate your kids about what is nutritious and what isnt and Teach them to make good choices. Saying you're setting them up for an eating disorder is like saying dont send your kids to school, if they fail a test you'll give them self esteem issues. You send them to school to learn and be better able to handle life when they have to do it on their own. I think there is a huge difference in what you you are doing and how some parents belittle their children into losing weight.
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
    why do you ask if this is a bad thing, did someone tell you this?

    Making sure your kids are informed about healthy food is a good thing.
  • thefreemans28
    thefreemans28 Posts: 267 Member
    I think it is very wise of you to tell your daughters these things. There are so many things telling them otherwise (TV shows/commercials, music, internet, etc.) so I think you are doing them a huge favor to talk to them about these things. Perhaps saving them great struggles in the future. Sadly, they can be swayed so easily by other things, and forget what you said even easier. So keep reminding them how beautiful they are, just the way they are! And remind them about how to be healthy and make healthy choices. Not just to be skinny, but to be healthy!

    Good job mom :-)
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    I don't think that's a bad thing at all! Kudos to you! :) My son is only 5 and will probly never have over weight problems bcuz his dad is like a stick (haha, shaped with a long torso and very tall) and my son is kind of taking on the same characteristics). I STILL make it a point to talk to him about good eating, and make rules on junk food, soda, CANDY, etc. I try to make sure he drinks water, and eats plenty of vegetables/fruits. I'm also hoping it helps that he sees me working out to workout videos all the time (and sometimes he jumps in and does them too) and we also go on bike rides and try to stay active. I hope he will carry these things when he gets older and I'm not around to tell him NO-no soda.

    I don't think any of these things can ever hurt your kids!! As long as you make sure they understand it's about being HEALTHY and doing your best to live a healthy life~ I think what your doing is GREAT!.
  • foreverloved
    foreverloved Posts: 220 Member
    You are doing the right thing!! Everyone in my family is obese and when I was a teen I ate good and had a healthy shape (5'7"140lbs) but because everyone was so used to being obese I was constantly hounded about my eating habits and accused of disorders. Don't let their opinions keep you from doing what you think is right!
  • cheryl3660
    cheryl3660 Posts: 182 Member
    I don't know why it is, but people seem to think that they MUST give you some form of constructive criticism all the time. Like they are duty bound to do so. And if there's nothing they need to "help" you with, they'll just make **** up. Like your kids being too skinny. Clearly, if your kids aren't overweight like their parents, then you must be starving the poor things!

    My daughter, too, is skinny. Fortuntely, people have not told me I am starving her. Unfortunately, I am having a heck of a time getting it into her own head that it's NOT OK for her to eat whatever she wants whenever she wants just because she's skinny and "doesn't need to worry about that yet." I have to remind her every day that good eating habits start when you are young and not when you are already overweight and have Diabetes.

    Keep up the good work! Teach your daughters about healthy eating habits so they can rely on their own knowledge (proven by their own experiences) and won't fall victim to stupid societal logic (which is almost never logical at all).
  • beccarockslife
    beccarockslife Posts: 816 Member
    Sounds like you are doing a great job. I've come under critisim for the way I deal with this with my son (he's 4.5yrs) but I honestly think I'm doing the best for him long term.

    - He is aware that I am doing a lot of things to try and be more healthy and that is causing me to shrink. He knows I go to a club (he's had to come with me a few times) and he is aware that I weigh myself.

    - He has been told that I am not healthy at the moment because I'm too big. At 252 this is totally true. He knows this because I see fat parents with fat kids and my theory is largely that kids look to their parents to be the example and if he sees me this size and thinks it's ok, he's going to think nothing of working up to a similar size over his life. If he knows I'm not the norm he won't look to me to represent it in this area.

    - We focus on HEALTHY and STRONG. We cycle together as a family, he gets involved with cooking, he's allowed treats in moderation and he considers gronola snacks treats and Nakd raw bars. We have an organic veg and meat box delivered weekly and he gets involved in unpacking it and talking about what we do with it. We talk about how we are making our hearts happy.

    - He knows that protein is in meat and he knows what that is for, same for what pasta does etc. I have taught him that food is fuel and nothing more. He doesn't get food treats if he's ill or sad. He gets hugs and kisses (and I get his illness lol).

    - He exercises with me and we talk about why we exercise. He has asthma and atopic allergies so it's good for him to open his lungs up.

    - We never talk about food as good or bad just things we eat lots of and things we eat less of.

    - I refuse to "hide" veg in his meals. He knows what it is and what it looks like and eats it anyway.

    Apparently I will give him a complex, make him have an eating disorder, irresponsible, neurotic (possibly lol), and I am making him think I'm bad because I'm fat. I make this face :/ because I can't see it. I blogged about this very issue a while ago: http://weightwars.wordpress.com/2011/04/01/a-repost-sorry-fat-and-children/
  • rundgrenfan
    rundgrenfan Posts: 211
    That's an excellent explanation.

    I have one daughter who amazes me; she can stop in the middle of a dish of ice cream and say that she's had enough and asks to throw the rest away. The other one is more like me and always asks if she can finish her sister's leftovers after she's done with her own!! We all have a lot to learn from and teach to each other!
  • Kristy0728
    Kristy0728 Posts: 63
    Yes - someone told me she thought one of my girls was to skinny and she was "preoccupied" and "overly concerned" with eating the right things. My daughter is about 3'10" and weighs 42 pounds. And told this person with a sweet tooth she didn't want a cookie, but wanted something healthy for her instead.
  • beccarockslife
    beccarockslife Posts: 816 Member
    That's an excellent explanation.

    I have one daughter who amazes me; she can stop in the middle of a dish of ice cream and say that she's had enough and asks to throw the rest away. The other one is more like me and always asks if she can finish her sister's leftovers after she's done with her own!! We all have a lot to learn from and teach to each other!

    There was a TV programme here in the UK recently that did an experiment. It gave one table of kids at a party a perfect 300 cal meal (right for their age) of pasta, and another table of kids double that amount. The ones who ate the perfect amount all finished and were all full at the end of the dish, the ones given double all finished AND wanted more saying they weren't full. It was really interesting.
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
    Yes - someone told me she thought one of my girls was to skinny and she was "preoccupied" and "overly concerned" with eating the right things. My daughter is about 3'10" and weighs 42 pounds. And told this person with a sweet tooth she didn't want a cookie, but wanted something healthy for her instead.

    well, I guess it's something to take note of then, I would just be aware of her, and if you notice that she truly IS preoccupied and overly concerned, then you should take steps to make sure it's remedied, but other than that, I wouldn't concern yourself with it. If she's happy, and healthy, then that's all that matters, right?
  • DESIREE1210
    DESIREE1210 Posts: 177 Member
    It really is great what your doing for your daughters. I have a relative that is doing the same thing unfortunatley she choses to eat a bag of chips in front of her girls and tell them they cant have any while she eats the whole bag.
    Now that's a double standard.
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