How to convince a family member that her 800/day calories TOTAL (not net) is very unhealthy
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You said she was at 160 pounds and 5'3. That's kinda rotund...she has the weight to lose.
So, how long has she been consuming 800 cals per day and exercising 5 days a week? For two weeks? A month? 3 days?0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »dolliesdaughter wrote: »Did she ask for your help? If not, stay out of it.
That is hard to do when you see family harming themselves.
True, but a little perspective: A short term low calorie diet probably won't do her any serious harm. And it's likely to be short term, since most people can't keep that up very long.
If she's still at it after a month or two, I'd be (a) shocked, and (b) convinced she's probably eating more than she thinks she is.
In the unlikely event that it's (c) and she actually is exhibiting signs of an eating disorder, there are ways you can try to gently steer her towards trying to get some -- professional -- help.
But in most cases, it's the kind of thing where you have to just let people figure it out for themselves.
This.
These self-inflicted VLCD are incredibly common. The vast majority of people fall off the wagon, so to speak, within a time period that prevents any sort of ongoing problems. For the most part an MYOB approach is best.0 -
TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »You said she was at 160 pounds and 5'3. That's kinda rotund...she has the weight to lose.
So, how long has she been consuming 800 cals per day and exercising 5 days a week? For two weeks? A month? 3 days?
Honestly, I'm not entirely sure how long in terms of calories. She's been working out/going to the gym for a few months now. This was brought up the first time a few days ago when I was weighing food and she got jealous at the amounts I was able to consume. She showed me some of her daily logged calories per day.
The last week or so of entries (that I could see on her app that she was showing me) were ranging from 700-1000, around 800 average per day, total, as a rough estimate (though it was definitely close to that).
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yopeeps025 wrote: »dolliesdaughter wrote: »Did she ask for your help? If not, stay out of it.
That is hard to do when you see family harming themselves.
True, but a little perspective: A short term low calorie diet probably won't do her any serious harm. And it's likely to be short term, since most people can't keep that up very long.
If she's still at it after a month or two, I'd be (a) shocked, and (b) convinced she's probably eating more than she thinks she is.
In the unlikely event that it's (c) and she actually is exhibiting signs of an eating disorder, there are ways you can try to gently steer her towards trying to get some -- professional -- help.
But in most cases, it's the kind of thing where you have to just let people figure it out for themselves.
This.
These self-inflicted VLCD are incredibly common. The vast majority of people fall off the wagon, so to speak, within a time period that prevents any sort of ongoing problems. For the most part an MYOB approach is best.
Will do, thanks. Going to mind my own and let it play out.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »dolliesdaughter wrote: »Did she ask for your help? If not, stay out of it.
That is hard to do when you see family harming themselves.
True, but a little perspective: A short term low calorie diet probably won't do her any serious harm. And it's likely to be short term, since most people can't keep that up very long.
If she's still at it after a month or two, I'd be (a) shocked, and (b) convinced she's probably eating more than she thinks she is.
In the unlikely event that it's (c) and she actually is exhibiting signs of an eating disorder, there are ways you can try to gently steer her towards trying to get some -- professional -- help.
But in most cases, it's the kind of thing where you have to just let people figure it out for themselves.
Well if she wants it bad enough a VLCD diet might last for a while. I know when I was trying to lose without caring about nutrition that I was able to do VLCD for months.
Bold I do agree with though.0 -
Is she using a tool like MFP? I agree with others that it is unlikely she will want to listen to your suggestions if she isn't struggling at those low levels yet. You mentioned that you are both working on this, so maybe you could show her how you are approaching your plan, using MFP the way it is designed, eating back exercise calories, eating things in moderation (I'm assuming that this is what you are doing OP), etc and maybe she may start to see that there are less aggressive, more sustainable ways to get results.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »800 net in calories is also bad.
That's what I was thinking, as well. I haven't quite decided whether I think 800 net or 800 total is worse.
800 total calorie intake could have a negative net.
800 total calorie intake would most definitely have a negative net. But 800 net would mean the person is gaining weight at 1.6 pounds per week, while a person at 800 total might still be losing weight at less than two pounds a week.0 -
TimothyFish wrote: »800 total calorie intake would most definitely have a negative net. But 800 net would mean the person is gaining weight at 1.6 pounds per week , while a person at 800 total might still be losing weight at less than two pounds a week.
Eh?0 -
Chrysalid2014 wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »800 total calorie intake would most definitely have a negative net. But 800 net would mean the person is gaining weight at 1.6 pounds per week , while a person at 800 total might still be losing weight at less than two pounds a week.
Eh?
We are not talking MFP net I guess. I kind of was.0 -
Chrysalid2014 wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »800 total calorie intake would most definitely have a negative net. But 800 net would mean the person is gaining weight at 1.6 pounds per week , while a person at 800 total might still be losing weight at less than two pounds a week.
Eh?
Me too.
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Hey MFP. So, a relative of mine is on a weight loss journey as well. However, she is eating a very low amount of calories per day. Around 800 total. She also is working out a ton, probably around 5 times per week.
What are some very solid articles or stats I should link her to show that she is way under eating?
Anyone have any experience with this?
She is (this are all estimates): ~38 years old, female, about 5'3" and probably around 160 pounds.
I think it is okay to say something, e.g., "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about your plan because I have concerns/questions/worries (however you want to put it), is this something you would be open to talking through with me?" Then it is up to her if she wants your thoughts on the matter. You can't really "convince" people of things, but I think it is legitimate to share that you are concerned, and if she wants it, provide her with some information.
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Also, if she shares your concerns at all or wants to check into it further, rather than giving her articles, etc. probably the best bet is to encourage her to see her doctor and possibly get a referral to a doctor or dietitian who helps people with weight loss.0
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yopeeps025 wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »800 total calorie intake would most definitely have a negative net. But 800 net would mean the person is gaining weight at 1.6 pounds per week , while a person at 800 total might still be losing weight at less than two pounds a week.
Eh?
We are not talking MFP net I guess. I kind of was.
This.
TimothyFish is talking about total calories in less total calories out. MFP net is total calories in less exercise.0 -
For the people who say mind your own business does it depend on the type of relative?
Also is there any point in time any of you might say something.
P.s I know it's hard to change some ones mind when they are determined to do something.0 -
TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »You said she was at 160 pounds and 5'3. That's kinda rotund...she has the weight to lose.
So, how long has she been consuming 800 cals per day and exercising 5 days a week? For two weeks? A month? 3 days?
Wow, You are a real charmer, huh?0 -
If she has expressed jealousy over your calorie limit and you think she is misinformed you might say to her that a vlcd could be unhealthy long term and you are sure she could eat more and still lose weight comfortably. Then show her MFP or another calculator that would give her the right amount of calories to lose 1-2 lbs a week.
After that leave it up to her.0 -
At 5'3" she would only need to lose twenty pounds to get to a healthy BMI. That hardly seems as if the negative side effects of a VLCD would be worth getting the weight off quickly as it is for a morbidly obese person.TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »You said she was at 160 pounds and 5'3. That's kinda rotund...she has the weight to lose.
So, how long has she been consuming 800 cals per day and exercising 5 days a week? For two weeks? A month? 3 days?
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Therealobi1 wrote: »For the people who say mind your own business does it depend on the type of relative?
Also is there any point in time any of you might say something.
P.s I know it's hard to change some ones mind when they are determined to do something.
I will say that if it were my daughter and she was young (a minor) I would step in and say/do something. But for a fully grown adult, who I assume has her mental faculties, I would not say/do anything unless I was specifically asked for my opinion/advice.0 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »For the people who say mind your own business does it depend on the type of relative?
Also is there any point in time any of you might say something.
P.s I know it's hard to change some ones mind when they are determined to do something.
I will say that if it were my daughter and she was young (a minor) I would step in and say/do something. But for a fully grown adult, who I assume has her mental faculties, I would not say/do anything unless I was specifically asked for my opinion/advice.
OK so if the daughter was 21 years plus she is on her own. And God help a son. I guess he is left to rot.0 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »Therealobi1 wrote: »For the people who say mind your own business does it depend on the type of relative?
Also is there any point in time any of you might say something.
P.s I know it's hard to change some ones mind when they are determined to do something.
I will say that if it were my daughter and she was young (a minor) I would step in and say/do something. But for a fully grown adult, who I assume has her mental faculties, I would not say/do anything unless I was specifically asked for my opinion/advice.
OK so if the daughter was 21 years plus she is on her own. And God help a son. I guess he is left to rot.
Oh, for the love of Pete. How many calories does jumping to conclusions burn? :huh:
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