No motivation from family and friends

JadeHall27
JadeHall27 Posts: 9 Member
edited November 17 in Motivation and Support
My names Jade, I'm 5ft5in and 12st 6lb, for some people they may be happy with that, for my frame all I can see when I look at myself is a big wobbly belly like Santa, and thighs that could kill a man.

Is it just me or is it upsetting when you don't get the support you need??

Replies

  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
    It is upsetting at times, yes. I don't know a lot about your situation, but you have to do this for yourself. If you're not getting support from family and friends, you can find people here who will support you and answer any questions you might have!
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    I quickly realized (and greatly contributed it to my success) that you can not rely on others for motivation or support. You need to first find that within yourself, and IF YOU ARE LUCKY you may have outside support.

    Dont expect others to motivate or support you.
  • FreedomMK2131
    FreedomMK2131 Posts: 17 Member
    edited May 2015
    Sometimes friends and family become jealous or resist any kind of change when it applies to someone they love. It seems strange, but it happens a lot. My family accuses me of using drugs or having an eating disorder when I drop a few pounds instead of applauding efforts of diet and exercise. MFP friends are usually a lot more supportive. Don't let your loved ones affect your goals. Good luck to you!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    JadeHall27 wrote: »
    My names Jade, I'm 5ft5in and 12st 6lb, for some people they may be happy with that, for my frame all I can see when I look at myself is a big wobbly belly like Santa, and thighs that could kill a man.

    Is it just me or is it upsetting when you don't get the support you need??

    My husbands trying to gain weight while I lose...

    You just have to do you!
  • DeterminedFee201426
    DeterminedFee201426 Posts: 859 Member
    edited May 2015
    FreedomMK2131 wrote: »
    Sometimes friends and family become jealous or resist any kind of change when it applies to someone they love. It seems strange, but it happens a lot. My family accuses me of using drugs or having an eating disorder when I drop a few pounds instead of applauding efforts of diet and exercise. MFP friends are usually a lot more supportive. Don't let your loved ones affect your goals. Good luck to you!
    yes for sure my family does this to me all the time sence most of my family is between 180-280 lbs they think i should be part of the heavier crew lol so alot of shame-ing they do torwards me
  • David_2015
    David_2015 Posts: 231 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    My husbands trying to gain weight while I lose...

    You just have to do you!

    I wish I had the problem of trying to gain weight!
  • praksindiafit
    praksindiafit Posts: 526 Member
    Well u have to boost urself.. thats how it works.. easier said than done..though
  • JonathanP1962
    JonathanP1962 Posts: 111 Member
    I was browsing through the forum looking for posts like this. So thankyou. I am getting zero support from my family and friends although some work collegues are supportive. I have lost 33lbs this time around (I am a yoyo dieter) and I am determined to keep it off and lose more.
    I have been logging 73 days in a row and had a bad motivation patch at the beginning of May. My wife's comment was "see, I told you , you cant keep this up forever". We have cleared the air since then.
    I started browsing the forums and have found a lot of help and support here and have come to the same conclusions as those written above.
    Although some people are lucky in the support they have around them :
    • You have to do this journey for yourself and be self motivated.
    • You will find help and support in these forums
  • amandabullock120
    amandabullock120 Posts: 110 Member
    dakotababy wrote: »
    I quickly realized (and greatly contributed it to my success) that you can not rely on others for motivation or support. You need to first find that within yourself, and IF YOU ARE LUCKY you may have outside support.

    Dont expect others to motivate or support you.

    ^^This^^

  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    It's not their job.
  • jenncornelsen
    jenncornelsen Posts: 969 Member
    i have learned to keep my weight loss journey to myself. unless someone asks me for advice i don't talk about it. few people will understand unless they are also trying to be healthy. i am doing this for me. i feel better and that's what matters
  • lthames0810
    lthames0810 Posts: 722 Member
    The people you live with are naturally going to know about your dieting because they can see the way you eat, but others outside of your household don't need to know. Sharing this with friends and colleagues is just asking for unwelcome "advice" or unhelpful comments (not to mention that you will bore them to death.) Just keep it to yourself and come here to the forums for support.
  • TheBigDirection
    TheBigDirection Posts: 265 Member
    I know the feeling! My brothers use to leave pizzas, cakes, doughnuts, and other fatty foods out on the counter for whoever wanted them. This is after I had asked them numerous times that I needed help avoiding temptation. I ended up moving in with my relatives who already eat healthy.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    Many people are envious and cannot think beyond "I deserve to be rich/thin/etc" to what they need to do to become rich/thin/etc. Part of living in an entitlement culture. People will be offended by the suggestion that they should change their way of life in order to achieve a goal.
  • JadeHall27
    JadeHall27 Posts: 9 Member
    Don't get me wrong, I don't expect anyone to give me full support, but an inkling would nice off my family ?

    I understand this is something i have to do by myself but it would be nice wouldn't it? If your family supported you? Like their meant to in any other part of your life?

    Eg, I wanna become a doctor, "awesome good for you, you can do it"

    I wanna train for a marathon, "brilliant! You'll do well!"

    You know, how is trying to loose weight any less of an achievement?
  • JadeHall27
    JadeHall27 Posts: 9 Member
    To be honest, it's probably just my family...being them
  • BigLifter10
    BigLifter10 Posts: 1,153 Member
    dakotababy wrote: »
    I quickly realized (and greatly contributed it to my success) that you can not rely on others for motivation or support. You need to first find that within yourself, and IF YOU ARE LUCKY you may have outside support.

    Dont expect others to motivate or support you.



    This is what I would say verbatim.
  • opalsqueak007
    opalsqueak007 Posts: 433 Member
    edited May 2015
    Hi Jade. Now then, you just have to find it within yourself. You will do it. I have found some people supportive, but most people are not. Most of the people I come into contact with are fat, and they don't like it that I have lost 50lb. You are doing it for you, and if others supprt you then great, but be honest, it really only matters to you, yourself. My husband liked me fat. He likes me thinner. It was me that needed to get the weight off. Good luck, and when you lose weight and people start with the comments like "when are you going to stop?", just try and let it roll off your back. It's hard, but so is everything! ;)
  • LAMCDylan
    LAMCDylan Posts: 1,218 Member
    Sometimes you have to be the person to support, love, and nurture yourself. You can't really depend on others. The quicker you take charge and are independent the better.
  • Tubbs216
    Tubbs216 Posts: 6,597 Member
    jenncornelsen wrote: »
    i have learned to keep my weight loss journey to myself. unless someone asks me for advice i don't talk about it. few people will understand unless they are also trying to be healthy. i am doing this for me. i feel better and that's what matters
    I feel the same.
    Also, I think other people find it boring. I understand because I've felt that way before when someone's wanted to tell me all about their amazing diet plan.
  • opalsqueak007
    opalsqueak007 Posts: 433 Member
    PS Jade - despite what I said above, I could not have lost my weight without my new friends on this site, who kept me going when I was losing heart. It's great here :)
  • gigialam
    gigialam Posts: 4 Member
    I used to have the same exact problem when I lived at home.. I'm not going to lie, it was tough and at times really got to me but you're doing this for you and no one can stop you except yourself. Yes, it would be nice if they helped or understood but you don't have any control over that. Once you start losing weight, they might start to support you a little, but again, you're not them, they're not you and there's no guarantee.

    That said, the fastest way to do something is to be around people doing it. And you're already doing that by being a part of this awesome community!
  • Ms_LisaKay
    Ms_LisaKay Posts: 103 Member
    JadeHall27 wrote: »
    Don't get me wrong, I don't expect anyone to give me full support, but an inkling would nice off my family ?

    I understand this is something i have to do by myself but it would be nice wouldn't it? If your family supported you? Like their meant to in any other part of your life?

    Eg, I wanna become a doctor, "awesome good for you, you can do it"

    I wanna train for a marathon, "brilliant! You'll do well!"

    You know, how is trying to loose weight any less of an achievement?

    Most of my family will not be supportive of me once I am near or at goal. My husband and I have already had words about him giving me a hard time. My family will be the people who say things like, "With all this weighing & tracking, do you have an eating disorder?" or "Now that you lost all this weight, why are you still logging/going to the gym/ not eating 3 desserts/ etc." I know it is coming, and I am taking heart from people here on MFP who are truly dedicated to healthy living, unlike my family. Even if I am never -as- dedicated to healthy/ fit living as some on MFP, their knowledge & attitude hearten and inspire me. I figure that is a great gift, and I will take that generosity where it is offered. I know not to expect it from my family; I got heavy because of thought processes I learned from the people I have eaten with for 40 years. I am the one changing, my family members are not. Expecting them to make the mental changes I have spent months to just make a DENT in seems to me to be asking too much of them.

  • NoXcusesFit
    NoXcusesFit Posts: 37 Member
    dakotababy wrote: »
    I quickly realized (and greatly contributed it to my success) that you can not rely on others for motivation or support. You need to first find that within yourself, and IF YOU ARE LUCKY you may have outside support.

    Dont expect others to motivate or support you.

    +1

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