Disordered Habits- Confession/Support

what sort of disordered habits have you been experiencing?

Hi there,
I can definitely understand a sense of where you're coming from with knowledge as well as my own experience.
Always having been not only a creature of habit, but an occasional destructive one at that, when I initially began my journey I would make short-lived bets with myself. If I binged, I would vow to purge. If I didn't or couldn't purge, I would hurt myself. Same went for my 60/20 chew-spit rule. The obsessive logging, weighing, & measuring still dies hard, but has lessened& balanced out over time. I, of course, knew that these disordered behaviors only fed the fire of my distorted thought process& ultimately gave it up knowing that this past pattern was EXACTLY what I was trying so hard to escape. The fact that I was either slowly gaining, slowly losing, or plateauing obviously helped me kicked that as well, because not only was my body still absorbing some of the the absolute *kitten* I put into it during those binges but the sheer quantity of that *kitten* did not bode well for weight loss even if I had spit or hacked up the majority.

I'm not sure what your specific habits consist of or if you have struggled with a history of addictive personality and/or maladaptive behaviors, but I can say that this process is 80%+ a mental one-- in this, it is completely normal for our minds to react& change accordingly. Be it negatively or positively, what is so important is that we recognize& ultimately desire to change this. However it is a process& it does take time& oh so much energy among other things.

Do you remember when these habits began, or rather, when you first acknowledged them in the slightest? Can you identify any emotions/triggers/etc. at the time-- other than the desire to hasten the weight loss process? What are some positive& productive habits &/or hobbies that you have& can turn to?

For me, just being cognizant of these natural changes& learning as much as I possibly could about health& what real healthfulness means for my specific body& mind helps. Also, delving deeper into my writing roots helped subdue these behaviors. I've documented the majority of my journey& the moments, days, weeks that it is toughest to stick to this lifestyle change without compromising my mental& physical health, writing every thought down or re-reading previous entries helps immensely. This is something I think everyone should do, regardless of what they struggle with.

I wish you the best in this& I am here as support if you'd like, as this is the best place possible for people of all walks of life dealing with varying similar journeys.

Catherine E.A.