grrrrrrrrr.....MEN!!!
GTOgirl1969
Posts: 2,527 Member
I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off for the last 12 hours, shopping, cooking dinner, making sure the kids are bathed and in bed, and more shopping for last minute Christmas gifts.
My husband has not lifted one finger to help me, he hasn't even offered to help. I asked him to help me bring in some packages from the car, and he said, "I'm not getting up....I worked all day!":noway: :mad: I told him, "Well, so did I!" and he told me to quit b*tching because it's my JOB to do everything. He thinks his day ENDS when he comes home and the fact that he "brings home the bacon" is contribution enough to the household.
His sucky, I-don't-give-a-damn attitude is making me dread Christmas.
My husband has not lifted one finger to help me, he hasn't even offered to help. I asked him to help me bring in some packages from the car, and he said, "I'm not getting up....I worked all day!":noway: :mad: I told him, "Well, so did I!" and he told me to quit b*tching because it's my JOB to do everything. He thinks his day ENDS when he comes home and the fact that he "brings home the bacon" is contribution enough to the household.
His sucky, I-don't-give-a-damn attitude is making me dread Christmas.
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Replies
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I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off for the last 12 hours, shopping, cooking dinner, making sure the kids are bathed and in bed, and more shopping for last minute Christmas gifts.
My husband has not lifted one finger to help me, he hasn't even offered to help. I asked him to help me bring in some packages from the car, and he said, "I'm not getting up....I worked all day!":noway: :mad: I told him, "Well, so did I!" and he told me to quit b*tching because it's my JOB to do everything. He thinks his day ENDS when he comes home and the fact that he "brings home the bacon" is contribution enough to the household.
His sucky, I-don't-give-a-damn attitude is making me dread Christmas.0 -
:noway:
Grrrrr---MEN suck seriously sometimes. My hubby makes "comments" like that sometimes. Know what I did--I stopped doing stuff for him. His lunch stopped being made for work, laundry piled up(only his) and I did not do his dishes.
He caught the hint real fast--and now seldom a day goes by where he doesn't help me in some way with something. Then there are other days like yesterday--where I ask him to put away laundry and I find it not done when I come home--then tonight he was looking for a shirt and he left all the CLEAN :explode: clothes all over the floor!!! :devil: OMG!! SOMETIMES I SWEAR!! I chase out 3year old, keep the house, work 20-25 hours a week, and make time to hang with friends and family--along with everything else our mommy minds make us do on a daily basis!!
:grumble:
Sometimes it would be nice if we could channel their ridiculous "i don't give a damn attitude" but I LIKE how much I care about making things nice for our family and friends and so should you!! :flowerforyou:
Hang in there! And try to have A WONDERFUL VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS ANYWAY!!
"BEHIND EVERY GREAT MAN IS A WOMAN ROLLING HER EYES!" :laugh:0 -
Two words-
Lorena Bobbit.0 -
Sorry about your plight! My boyfriend and I live together and he always helps me out when I ask him. Often times, he'll even do things for me as a surprise for me to come home to. :flowerforyou: He's a true gentleman and doesn't believe in that whole "men's-work/women's-work" gender discrimination garbage. If he can wash dishes better than me, he'll do it. If I can change the oil in his car, I'll do it (and I do!). I'm a lucky one, I know! He's my hero. :smooched:0
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At the end of the month give him an invoice and statement :devil: for "Services Rendered" stating immediate payment due, or he will have to employ someone else to do all the work for him "Seeing as he brings in the bacon".
Put your foot down now before it is too late :sad:.
Good Luck and be brave "No man is an island".
"Life may not be the party we hoped for,but while we are here we might as well dance!"0 -
:frown: Sorry! We're not all that bad! On the holidays I do all the cooking (yes, from scratch) for everything from appetizer to main course to dessert. Why? Well, I like to cook, and I do it better (a lot better) than my wife! She was only too happy to cede that role! Talk frankly to your husband about the "work" it takes to run a household... Hopefully he'll come around and you can both enjoy the holidays! Ho ho ho!!!0
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Gto, you cant get filet mignon out of turkey, sweetie!
When the kids were small, and I was all crazed with the holidays, I spent too much of my young happy years angry at my DH for not helping.
One year I decided I was single. I looked at poor DH as if he was really missing out on something special, and just a paycheck $ to provide the gifts I was purchasing.
I had the best Christmas ever with my kids. It took a few years for he and I to 'get back together'
but I dont regret my mental divorce from him.
Now he helps, puts up the lights, takes down the tree, etc. He will NEVER be perfect, but neither am I!!
I hope you have a happy Christmas with your sweeties pies!!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
Wow,
I'm sorry! No matter what the circumstances, everyone deserves a helping hand! Especially a woman bringing in a bunch of packages from a car!
That stinks! I get behavior like that too and it does bring you down.
*Hug*
-Tami0 -
Hopefully there aren`t that many guys like that or at least on a regular basis.
I know it is easy for me to say but tell him that there was no guarantee in life that he was to have a partner to share it with and he ought to be grateful that he does.0 -
Awwww...what a butt :grumble: I would definately have a talk with him. I don't think men realize all of the hard work that goes into running a household. I mean I work 50-60 hours a week but I also was doing most of the cleaning, cooking, taking care of the checkbook, budget, and paying the bills, trying to plan our wedding, walking the dog (he very rarely did that), trying to workout and get in shape again, and somehow find time for myself and him, and I finally told him I couldn't do it anymore and that one person can only do so much before they break. I told him I needed help. And when I went through all of the things I do, I think it really surprised him. (we just went through this talk last week...I was super stressed because on top of all that, he got laid off) He was feeling worthless and depressed about getting laid off and thought that I was "getting on him" too soon. I explained that it's not his fault he got laid off but to help take some of the pressure off of me there were things he could do to help. I told him I was physically and mentally burnt out and on the verge of a mental breakdown. I came home yesterday and he had vacuumed, done the dishes, taken out the trash, made the bed, and got rid of an old table I had been asking him to get rid of for a long time. Oh! And the two piles of leaves I raked up two weeks ago and asked him to get rid of were finally gone. I let him know I didn't feel appreciated and that I needed some help and he got it. Just sit down and talk to him when he's in a good mood. Or if you have to, write him a letter. Sometimes when we talk it comes out wrong and they don't listen. But I found that if there is something hard to say, sometimes its easier to write it down. And he usually understands better. Then after he reads it, we talk about it.
But make sure you do talk it over before you resent him. And try to have a very Merry Christmas. :flowerforyou: Remember what the holiday is all about and try to be thankful for the things that you DO have :flowerforyou:0 -
Well, all I have to say is, better talk to him now before it is too late! Growing up, my mom stayed home and my dad worked. Now my dad is retired, and my mom works full time - but he still expects her to do all the housework while he sits at home and does nothing all day!! All he does now on a regular basis is load/unload the dishwasher, and laundry - but the dishes come out almost as dirty as they went in (I usually have to search for something 'cleaner' in the cupboard when I'm there), and the folded laundry is as wrinkled as un-folded laundry.0
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kellch - that letter writing thing never worked for me - all I got in response was how I couldn't communicate and 95% of it was wrong. :explode:0
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kellch - that letter writing thing never worked for me - all I got in response was how I couldn't communicate and 95% of it was wrong. :explode:
Wellllllll then you will have to just try and communicate and make a decision for yourself. Maybe counselling? :ohwell:0 -
Im sorry I just had to laugh!!:laugh: :laugh: That was so goood Lauryn, a classicTwo words-
Lorena Bobbit. You are to funny!:drinker: 0 -
I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off for the last 12 hours, shopping, cooking dinner, making sure the kids are bathed and in bed, and more shopping for last minute Christmas gifts.
My husband has not lifted one finger to help me, he hasn't even offered to help. I asked him to help me bring in some packages from the car, and he said, "I'm not getting up....I worked all day!":noway: :mad: I told him, "Well, so did I!" and he told me to quit b*tching because it's my JOB to do everything. He thinks his day ENDS when he comes home and the fact that he "brings home the bacon" is contribution enough to the household.
His sucky, I-don't-give-a-damn attitude is making me dread Christmas.
Your not alone! But don't let it ruin your Christmas. Pretend he's not there!0 -
Thanks everyone for your encouragement.
He must have known that he was being a *kitten* last night because he gave me one of my presents early....the heart rate monitor I have been wanting. 
0 -
Hmmm, you're easy, my wife would have considered giving a HRM as a present, being a *kitten*!0
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Hmmm, you're easy, my wife would have considered giving a HRM as a present, being a *kitten*!
I'm hoping that my husband got me one!!!!!! 0 -
Hmmm, you're easy, my wife would have considered giving a HRM as a present, being a *kitten*!
I'm hoping that my husband got me one!!!!!!
I'll have to ask, but I'm pretty sure she'd consider it something like getting a vacuum.
I'm just recently stopped waking up screaming from the year I gave her a Weight Watcher's Cookbook for her birthday. In my defense it was only one among several gifts, we were attending Weight Watcher's together and she said she wanted it.0 -
haha my boyfriend thankfully wll carry all the shopping bags
he cooks US dinner and cleans up from it also
does the laundry when he gets home from work (we take turns)
hes pretty awesome actually...hes great at opening doors...carrying things..lifting things...washing the cars ...ect but he needs to work on RESPECTING women....the one thing i really hate about him is he makes me feel sooooooooo stupid...famous words "your not really this dumb are you? tell me your joking?" "you have no common sence" "your not as cute as you think you are" "you really need to work out"
OH AND
his constant need to correct me weather it be the way i say a word or whatever he always has to be smarter than me..Uuuuggghhhh
we all have something to deal with right???
*rolls eyes*0 -
haha my boyfriend thankfully wll carry all the shopping bags
he cooks US dinner and cleans up from it also
does the laundry when he gets home from work (we take turns)
hes pretty awesome actually...hes great at opening doors...carrying things..lifting things...washing the cars ...ect but he needs to work on RESPECTING women....the one thing i really hate about him is he makes me feel sooooooooo stupid...famous words "your not really this dumb are you? tell me your joking?" "you have no common sence" "your not as cute as you think you are" "you really need to work out"
OH AND
his constant need to correct me weather it be the way i say a word or whatever he always has to be smarter than me..Uuuuggghhhh
we all have something to deal with right???
*rolls eyes*
wow..0 -
we all have something to deal with right???
*rolls eyes*
You can say that again! But then again so can our mates.0 -
haha my boyfriend thankfully wll carry all the shopping bags
he cooks US dinner and cleans up from it also
does the laundry when he gets home from work (we take turns)
hes pretty awesome actually...hes great at opening doors...carrying things..lifting things...washing the cars ...ect but he needs to work on RESPECTING women....the one thing i really hate about him is he makes me feel sooooooooo stupid...famous words "your not really this dumb are you? tell me your joking?" "you have no common sence" "your not as cute as you think you are" "you really need to work out"
OH AND
his constant need to correct me weather it be the way i say a word or whatever he always has to be smarter than me..Uuuuggghhhh
we all have something to deal with right???
*rolls eyes*
wow..
....yeah
but the good out weighs his little remarks0 -
I once had a boyfriend who was a bona fide misogynist. While he never went so far as to call me dumb - which frankly, we both knew to be a dumb comment in itself - he did enjoy it when I had a "dumb moment," and told me that it was at those times that he liked me best.
He also would go on and on about how disgusting overweight women were. When he met the CFO of the company he works for, he said he couldn't stop thinking about how fat she was and wondered how she got that job and whether it was in the company's best interests.
He had a good friend, a man who was very obese, whose wife was just about 20 pounds overweight. He would frequently complain about how this friend of his should leave his wife for a thinner woman. When I pointed out that his friend was not exactly fit and trim, he said, "So, what? He's a guy. There will always be a woman who's glad to have him."
I decided that the bad outweighed the good in his case. He may be just a typical example of a double-standard-bearing guy, but I don't have room for double standards in my life.
And yes, I am single, but I am out with friends or dates several times a week. In fact, before I read this post, I was thinking about starting one complaining about how the guy I saw last night gave me a box of chocolates! Not good for weight loss, but he's a sweet one who I hope to see more of next year.0 -
ohhh yeah sounds like my BF haha
constaly making remarks about over weight people
but he is no double standard
he worksout and keeps in shape and expects evryone else to do the same
but he is really anti over weight
which drives me insane because im fat which makes me wonder
what he thinks of me! ugggh
but he treats me like a princess and makes me laugh
we are truly best friends and i can deal with his stupid remarks they arnt too often thank god.0 -
Wellllllll then you will have to just try and communicate and make a decision for yourself. Maybe counselling? :ohwell:
I wrote the letter then read it out loud...a month later I got dumped via email (and *I* was the one that couldn't communicate?)...I'm better off!!0 -
yup that's a BIG WOW in my eyes too when I just read that!:huh: Especially since you're working on healthy choices for yourself...and making great strides...not sure how that would help anyone saying comments like that... verbal abuse doesn't just go away..:huh: :noway: it usually only gets worse...you're so young to have to take that from someone who :huh: says they care about youhaha my boyfriend thankfully wll carry all the shopping bags
he cooks US dinner and cleans up from it also
does the laundry when he gets home from work (we take turns)
hes pretty awesome actually...hes great at opening doors...carrying things..lifting things...washing the cars ...ect but he needs to work on RESPECTING women....the one thing i really hate about him is he makes me feel sooooooooo stupid...famous words "your not really this dumb are you? tell me your joking?" "you have no common sence" "your not as cute as you think you are" "you really need to work out"
OH AND
his constant need to correct me weather it be the way i say a word or whatever he always has to be smarter than me..Uuuuggghhhh
we all have something to deal with right???
*rolls eyes*
wow..
knocking down anyone's self esteem verbally is certainly not kind....and is actually verbal abuse....
Maybe as Kellch suggested for the other member ...counseling might help him understand that those types of comments are very very harmful in a relationship.:noway: :huh: Even if you laugh them off like they don't matter...they are still going into your subconscience and effect a person greatly....:noway:0 -
I'm counting myself extremely luck on this topic......I have the white knight.0
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Sounds like you made a great choice there in moving on..... Being single and have pretty awesome friends BEATS an abusive relationship ANY DAY! (verbal or physical).... when we get used to folks talking to us that way....that's the scary part....we write it off as no big deal...'they are making a joke'...yadda yadda yadda... I sure don't see disrespect of any kind a joke in any form.I once had a boyfriend who was a bona fide misogynist. While he never went so far as to call me dumb - which frankly, we both knew to be a dumb comment in itself - he did enjoy it when I had a "dumb moment," and told me that it was at those times that he liked me best.
He also would go on and on about how disgusting overweight women were. When he met the CFO of the company he works for, he said he couldn't stop thinking about how fat she was and wondered how she got that job and whether it was in the company's best interests.
He had a good friend, a man who was very obese, whose wife was just about 20 pounds overweight. He would frequently complain about how this friend of his should leave his wife for a thinner woman. When I pointed out that his friend was not exactly fit and trim, he said, "So, what? He's a guy. There will always be a woman who's glad to have him."
I decided that the bad outweighed the good in his case. He may be just a typical example of a double-standard-bearing guy, but I don't have room for double standards in my life.
And yes, I am single, but I am out with friends or dates several times a week. In fact, before I read this post, I was thinking about starting one complaining about how the guy I saw last night gave me a box of chocolates! Not good for weight loss, but he's a sweet one who I hope to see more of next year.
There's lots of great folks out there that KNOW how to treat Woman..... no real point in stickin around with the losers that know one else wants!:noway: 0 -
:flowerforyou: :drinker:I'm counting myself extremely luck on this topic......I have the white knight. :drinker: The cool part is you Realize it!:bigsmile: 0
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