How long did it take you to make the mental shift from fat to not fat
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I don't think you ever fully accept the fact that you're not fat anymore. I know for me personally at least, I totally feel like a fatty at heart. After several years I've grown to accept the fact that I can go shopping faster and have much more success with picking out clothes that fit (rather than worrying about how they fit around my stomach and keep running back out to look for looser tops that don't show my chubby stomach), but that's about as far as it gets. I'm still not used to being sensitive to the cold, not being part of conversations related to weight loss (some of my newer friends assume I've always been skinny and would never be able to relate to their struggles), and just the other day I was sitting in my car when I dropped my keys and tried to close my legs to catch them like I always did, only to realize apparently there's a gap there, I never noticed! They fell right through!
Not being fat is weird, but I'm happy!
Congratulations on your success!0 -
Been maintaining for 2 years and I can honestly say I'm not fully there yet.
There are times when I might catch my reflection and do not recognize the strong, fit woman that I see. Looking at old photos I still think I look like that and not the way I look now. Last weekend I went shopping for summer dresses and was floored that I can wear size small (vanity sizing maybe but I've had X's in my clothes for so long). Even though it feels incredible to shop and try on clothes, my mind is still used to settling for whatever I can at the plus size stores/sections. I can go on and on.
I guess when you are overweight most of your life it will take a lot of adjusting.
Great job on your 60 lb loss OP!
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Wow, today I was thinking something similar. It's so easy for me to just *expect* to find a fat roll here or a muffin top there, to expect jeans or a shirt to be a tight fit. When the fat just isn't there it can be... disorienting, maybe? For only a second, but still. It might just be a matter of muscle memory, or something like that. It's good to know I'm not alone in this.0
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Congratulations on your fabulous weight loss!
I've asked myself exactly the same question. I pick up clothes in my "new" size and I can't believe that they'll fit - I always want to go a size larger. I hit my target last summer and have maintained pretty well since but my mental image of myself is still chubby. I'm reassured that we're not alone in this, it must just take time.
And as for b****y shop assistants - ignore them, just take your custom and your money to a shop where they're not so darn rude!0 -
Congrats!
It took me about a yr or so for my brain to catch up to the new body LOL0 -
I'm not quite at my final goal yet--I have another 10-20 lbs, depending on how far I take this--but I've lost 88 so far and had the same thought as you while shopping last week: I was surprised that a size 8 pants were too big so I asked the dressing room clerk for a 6 and felt self-conscious the entire time that she would look at me and think "there's no way these will fit you..." Surprise surprise, they fit!0
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kansasgrl1500 wrote: »TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »So glad I'm a male and don't have to worry about this stuff! That's a great accomplishment on losing 60 pounds! Nice!
As far as your fears:
lol, Chill out. You think too much. People aren't paying that much attention to you. Seriously, you're so worried about what other people are thinking that you cannot enjoy your weight loss. Stop it!
What's happening is YOU are worried about all these things and then you are projecting those thoughts onto other people. 1. They more than likely are NOT thinking those things. 2. Even if they are, So? That's their problem.
Once YOU stop concerning yourself with who and what---who is the largest in the room, who belongs in what store, who should be buying what size, who should be doing what activity---you'll discover that all of those fears you feel have evaporated into space.
Best of luck!
Brandon
Logically I know you make sense. Emotionally not so much. It probably didn't help that a sales person in White House Black Market confirmed my fears and told me I was probably too big to be shopping there (I was a size 6/8 at the time).
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As for transitioning from fat to skinny thinking... I have been at my goal weight for a couple months now (80lbs lost) I'm not there yet either... I don't concern myself with what others think anymore though... cause for me I'm Hot I may not be the hottest/youngest/or prettiest woman in the room however I am better than I was and working on being the BEST ME I CAN BE! and that is good enough for me, I don't know if I'll ever get used to being thin.0
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I've lost around 50lbs, went from an Australian size 12/14 to an 8/10 and have been maintaining for about 2 months now. I still feel fat. I think the problem is that I carry weight around my stomach, so I still manage to look at least 3 months pregnant at any given time. Meanwhile, my thighs have wasted away to nothing and I've always had skinny ankles and wrists, even when I was overweight. If the weight loss had been more balanced, I think I would have an easier time accepting my new size and finding clothes that flatter me.0
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I'm not sure I ever did. It was more a gradual mental change over time when I lost the biggest part of my weight (113kg to 70kgish). Slowly I stopped judging the size of seats before sitting etc.
But years later i still have mental fat days. I'm pretty small for my weight now and I frequently have to remind myself of it. I think if you've been big the mental concerns about squashing people, wondering if you look fat etc will allways surface occasionally, how ever irrationally.
I can't stand being picked up at work because my ex bigger girl thinking kicks in for example (doesn't help I weigh more than most guess).
To this day it blows my mind I'm a uk size 6-8 when I see my jeans on the washing line.
It's rare these days to think like that, but still happens sometimes.
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I still think of myself as heavy. And I get super offended if someone makes "fat jokes" in front of me. Recently, I was getting ready to board a flight, and the (slim) lady next to me in line started chatting with me. I commented about how the gate area wasn't full of people, so probably the flight isn't full. She said to me, "oh that is so great because when i fly I always worry that a really heavy person is going to sit next to me and since this flight looks pretty empty I won't have to worry about that". I couldn't believe she was saying this to me, until I realized---oh she seems me as a person who is not overweight. I doubt she would have said such a thing to me 50 pounds ago. It was still hurtful to know that 50 pounds ago, someone would have been hoping that I didn't sit next to them on the airplane.0
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kansasgrl1500 wrote: »TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »So glad I'm a male and don't have to worry about this stuff! That's a great accomplishment on losing 60 pounds! Nice!
As far as your fears:
lol, Chill out. You think too much. People aren't paying that much attention to you. Seriously, you're so worried about what other people are thinking that you cannot enjoy your weight loss. Stop it!
What's happening is YOU are worried about all these things and then you are projecting those thoughts onto other people. 1. They more than likely are NOT thinking those things. 2. Even if they are, So? That's their problem.
Once YOU stop concerning yourself with who and what---who is the largest in the room, who belongs in what store, who should be buying what size, who should be doing what activity---you'll discover that all of those fears you feel have evaporated into space.
Best of luck!
Brandon
Logically I know you make sense. Emotionally not so much. It probably didn't help that a sales person in White House Black Market confirmed my fears and told me I was probably too big to be shopping there (I was a size 6/8 at the time).
I went in there as a size six and fit their size 4 capris. (Which I loved and which cost $90. Sigh.) Anyway, I'm going to say that was probably just the one sales person (who needs a new job), because I definitely saw a variety of sizes in there!0 -
I could have written this OP. I don't know what to tell you, except remind yourself, before you head into the fitting room, to only take thing that are one size lower or higher than the clothing you are wearing. I have no idea when the transition occurs, but I do remember not realizing I was fat until quite late in my fatness. So maybe the cognitive delay works both ways.
And take your business elsewhere. There's honesty, and then there's ugliness. I recently had a very straight-talking sales clerk take a size 14 out of my hands (in case you're wondering, the 8 fit perfectly). I will be going back to her again!0 -
I'm smaller now than I've been my entire life. I've always been a size M, gained weight and wore L/XL a couple of years ago. Now I'm a size S/XS. I don't think I've mentally figured this out quite yet. I mean, I'll grab the small size of the rack and not be entirely surprised when it fits, but I still look in the mirror sometimes and my gaze goes straight to my slight belly and I fail to see the rest, that is significantly smaller. I believe it might take a while for my mind to catch up...0
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As a kid, I was always on the heavier side. At 15 I was 5'4 (on a good day) and pushing 180lbs. It took a lot of teenage/young adult disordered eating, going down to 115 lbs (which DID NOT look good on me) and then jumping right back up to 160lbs to finally learn how to lose weight the healthy way and to be fit.
That being said, my mindset is "once a fat kid, always a fat kid". I have this perception of myself that is very hard to shake off. I occasionally get down on myself if I'm not where I want to be, but I've gotten much better at it.
This weekend I bought some shorts in the wrong (bigger) size, because I am so used to that size being what fits. Whoops.0 -
I'm at 57 pounds lost, and I'm having a hard time with that, too. Just this weekend I took a pair of my new capris out of the dryer and thought they were my college-age skinny daughter's. They weren't. They were mine. Then I thought, "Oh crap. I shrunk them." Nope. They fit great. Also, last weekend I ordered some new lingerie from Kohls.com as a weight-loss reward (the first one I've allowed myself). It came this week. Instead of the Mediums I'd meant to order, I ordered XL's because that's what I always do. They're much too big for me. Some reward.0
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I think maintaining for a year or more gives your brain a chance to catch up with your body. It's weird at first, though!
I've been maintainng for quite a while now, and it's still an ongoing process. Sometimes I think I still see myself as bigger than I really am. Yesterday I was looking at a picture taken after a Zumbathon I participated in, and at first I was kinda subconsciously like, "Who's that really toned girl in the middle?" before realizing it was me.
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I'm a US size 6 now, although I do have a large frame (30 inch waist. Sigh). I still feel fat. But honestly I see a lot of women my size who still want to lose 10 pounds (which I'd love to do, but every time I get under 133 pounds I end up hungry all the time), so I know it's not just in my head.0
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I've lost 10 lbs in the past 4 months using MFP and 30 lbs before that. I'm 5"4 120 lbs and still see myself as fat. And honestly if I had boobs that fit with the rest of my body instead of being a D cup I think It would be much easier for me to see that I'm not fat anymore. However sometimes I look in the mirror and still feel like the 160 lb 12 year old I used to be 7 years ago and continued to be throughout middle school and most of high school. I've come to the conclusion that if I can get up the courage to wear a bikini this summer Because my boyfriend swears up and down I look good in one as well as my friends, then maybe after getting through it ill be able to see myself the way others see me0
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I still remind myself that there's a difference between 'not fat' and fit. For me, fitness will be ongoing and I always set higher standards for myself. I sometimes still have to remind myself that I'm not as big as I was, and that I've come a long way. Maybe a little bit of gratitude goes a long way. I had to clean out my closet and buy all new clothes - that's a great reminder that I've lost a great deal of weight. When I grab clothes from my chest of drawers that were new a year ago, I can clearly tell the difference between my size then and my size now.0
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