Family and friends keep telling me to stop losing weight.

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13

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  • desika8787
    desika8787 Posts: 99 Member
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    Same here... my best friend wants me to stop and to get some pounds back... I started at 170ish and now I am down at 126. I do feel good but I try to get down a little more at about 120. There is still some "fat" on my hips I really don't like... But my best friend tells me every time we meet to eat more, that I look too skinny (??) and that this is not "normal" anymore... I don't know how to handle her comments because even I truly love her she struggles herself with her weight and when I have a real bad day I suppose that she is just jealous... It is even mean to think of it but I can't help thinking this way...
  • MBL512
    MBL512 Posts: 32 Member
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    I have never understood why other people are always so invested in other people's body size/weight. I hear comments from people all the time- that I should gain weight, eat more, etc. These are almost always from people who are significantly overweight. I know my body best. I know what weight I am most comfortable at. I know when to stop losing and when to eat more. Sheesh!
  • rand486
    rand486 Posts: 270 Member
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    We all go through it, I think. I lost 30-35 lbs, and some of my closer friends at work told me there was a rumour going around I was anorexic/bulimic. Especially amazing, because I was eating LOADS of food in front of people in the lunch room.

    Funny enough, when I changed jobs, I was already at my goal weight - people didn't look down on my weight; I had a reputation as a bit of an athlete!

    What I took from this is that it wasn't my actual weight that was concerning people; It was the weightloss process. It stirs up all sorts of insecurities in people, and they lash out in bizarre ways.

    I don't remember the idiom exactly, but people don't give advice to help others; they give advice for themselves. These people are telling you to stop because your success is their failure, and that makes them feel insecure.
  • Dragn77
    Dragn77 Posts: 810 Member
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    My ex's mom did that to me a few years back..when I first met him, I was slender. At the end of our relationship, I had put on about 15+ "bf pounds" (from him taking me out all the time lol) and then piled on another 35 or so from stress after our breakup. Basically, I was up 50lbs.

    I lost 30lbs, and one day his mom was like..you need to stop losing weight! You are down to NOTHING! Mind you, I was still 20lbs over my usual weight that she had first met me at..which anyway was at the top of my supposed healthy weight scale thingie.

    After a flash of annoyance (what, Im supposed to be big and depressed over your son forever?! LoL) I just moved it along. Its true though, some people hate to just see someone else taking care of themselves..whether its losing weight or anything else.

    Like Merkavar said...no one was telling me anything when I was piling on 50lbs. No one say nothing when Im losing it. It's all nonsense..ignore the nonsense lol
  • TiffKouns
    TiffKouns Posts: 222 Member
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    inkteen wrote: »
    I'm a 5'3 132 pound female. 7 months ago, I weighed 172 pounds and realized I needed to change, so I lost 40 pounds the healthy way (sensible diet and exercise). Now I'm 7 pounds from my goal, but everyone is telling me not to lose anymore. I get comments all the time from people saying that it's crazy to lose any more weight.This is so strange to me, because I can see bits of fat around my belly that I need to lose. Has anyone else experienced this?

    I totally understand where you are coming from! We know what we want to weigh and how we want to look! No one else understands but us! I hate looking in the mirror and NOT liking what I see!
  • NikonPal
    NikonPal Posts: 1,346 Member
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    inkteen wrote: »
    I'm a 5'3 132 pound female. 7 months ago, I weighed 172 pounds and realized I needed to change, so I lost 40 pounds the healthy way (sensible diet and exercise). Now I'm 7 pounds from my goal, but everyone is telling me not to lose anymore. I get comments all the time from people saying that it's crazy to lose any more weight.This is so strange to me, because I can see bits of fat around my belly that I need to lose. Has anyone else experienced this?

    I certainly got that as I approached my goal.

    All the usual comments. “You aren’t going to lose more, are you?” etc. I always said – if you can show me one height/weight chart that says I am underweight, I’ll stop immediately!

    My “goal” weight in reality is still slightly overweight – not obese – it is my smallest size in 25 years.

    That usually cut the conversation short, because “facts” were on my side.


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  • RockstarWilson
    RockstarWilson Posts: 836 Member
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    rabbitjb wrote: »
    RockstarWilson wrote: »
    Some belly fat on a woman that is younger is natural, as the baby lives off fat when in the womb, and the body incubates it with fat. So, until you stop menstruating, your body is always preparing to have a baby. It takes a special genetic type, or a modeling career, to have as slender stomach as the ones you see in victorias secret.

    Hope you lose your 7 lbs, but dont obsess over what you see on your stomach. Its natural. Anthropogenic, really.

    Ummm ...nope ..the foetus gets nutrients from the placenta which gets them from the mothers blood system and not from belly fat ..and the foetus is protected by the womb, again not belly fat.

    Sweet thought though

    So then why does woman get fat when woman have baby? If baby get food from placenta, woman should not gain weight... and I mean this in general, explanatory terms, not insulting pregnant women. Please dont take out of context.
  • RockstarWilson
    RockstarWilson Posts: 836 Member
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    Daiako wrote: »
    RockstarWilson wrote: »
    Some belly fat on a woman that is younger is natural, as the baby lives off fat when in the womb, and the body incubates it with fat. So, until you stop menstruating, your body is always preparing to have a baby. It takes a special genetic type, or a modeling career, to have as slender stomach as the ones you see in victorias secret.

    Hope you lose your 7 lbs, but dont obsess over what you see on your stomach. Its natural. Anthropogenic, really.

    *head tilt*

    But...no.

    Helpful...
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
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    I had family members ask me similar questions. I replied that I wasn't trying to lose any more weight, but was working on lowering my body fat percentage a bit more. Usually shut them right up - they aren't really sure how to respond to it, or have no argument, etc. Whatever it was, it worked every time. :smile:
  • MBL512
    MBL512 Posts: 32 Member
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    tkouns2015 wrote: »
    I totally understand where you are coming from! We know what we want to weigh and how we want to look! No one else understands but us! I hate looking in the mirror and NOT liking what I see!

    Yes! Exactly the point I have been trying to make to my family/friends. I KNOW what I expect from myself. I know my goal weight, and I don't care if anyone else agrees with me. It is my body, and I know what my expectations are for myself. I am tired of defending my right to make decisions for myself in regards to my weight. :)
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    edited February 2015
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    RockstarWilson wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    RockstarWilson wrote: »
    Some belly fat on a woman that is younger is natural, as the baby lives off fat when in the womb, and the body incubates it with fat. So, until you stop menstruating, your body is always preparing to have a baby. It takes a special genetic type, or a modeling career, to have as slender stomach as the ones you see in victorias secret.

    Hope you lose your 7 lbs, but dont obsess over what you see on your stomach. Its natural. Anthropogenic, really.

    Ummm ...nope ..the foetus gets nutrients from the placenta which gets them from the mothers blood system and not from belly fat ..and the foetus is protected by the womb, again not belly fat.

    Sweet thought though

    So then why does woman get fat when woman have baby? If baby get food from placenta, woman should not gain weight... and I mean this in general, explanatory terms, not insulting pregnant women. Please dont take out of context.

    Because they eat too much ...because they're pregnant and they choose to relax..because sometimes only eating stops you feeling sick and seriously you're making an entire human being why shouldn't you eat that chocolate bar..plus water retention. Many women don't put on excess weight and the uterus and baby still grow.

    You don't really believe its a mothers fat cells that feed a foetus develop do you?

    You may like this http://www.babycentre.co.uk/v1049111/inside-pregnancy-how-food-reaches-your-baby. Although the narrator pronounces some words oddly
  • Dragn77
    Dragn77 Posts: 810 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Rabbitjb has it right... Some women begin to "eat for two" when there really is no need...a baby doesnt require doubling calories and eating everything in sight. But eating like that is what puts the weight on and many women do it. Nutrients is what we need, not more fat and calories.

    With my daughter, I didn't go overboard (couldnt afford to..I was completely broke) and I gained 60lbs, but it was NOT from overeating (broke lol) by the time I went back to work after 2 months, I had lost all the weight, plus some. To say my stomach was flatter than it was pre-baby is an understatement...my (at the time) husband would tell people he bounces quarters off my stomach as a past time lol

    I have found that women who eat proper and continue with a fitness plan throughout their pregnancy, have no issues at all with losing the weight once the baby is born. Of course age and how many babies a woman already has plays a role, but nutition and fitness is the major key.

    ...and now, I am close to the weight I was at just before I delivered kiddo, and my tum is well...Im sure a beach ball would bounce off my tummy. Maybe. LOL Thats all food and laziness...can't even pretend it's because I had a baby.
  • shabaity
    shabaity Posts: 791 Member
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    There could be a reason other than insecurity i as a example look top heavy at about 140. This being said you like how you look keep going.
  • ogmomma2012
    ogmomma2012 Posts: 1,520 Member
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    It takes 300 extra calories to grow, 500 extra calories to breastfeed! :smile:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    RockstarWilson wrote: »
    Some belly fat on a woman that is younger is natural, as the baby lives off fat when in the womb, and the body incubates it with fat. So, until you stop menstruating, your body is always preparing to have a baby. It takes a special genetic type, or a modeling career, to have as slender stomach as the ones you see in victorias secret.

    Hope you lose your 7 lbs, but dont obsess over what you see on your stomach. Its natural. Anthropogenic, really.

    767.gif

    No
  • rand486
    rand486 Posts: 270 Member
    edited February 2015
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    PikaKnight wrote: »
    RockstarWilson wrote: »
    Some belly fat on a woman that is younger is natural, as the baby lives off fat when in the womb, and the body incubates it with fat. So, until you stop menstruating, your body is always preparing to have a baby. It takes a special genetic type, or a modeling career, to have as slender stomach as the ones you see in victorias secret.

    Hope you lose your 7 lbs, but dont obsess over what you see on your stomach. Its natural. Anthropogenic, really.

    767.gif

    No

    Time for some science, folks!

    http://www.humankinetics.com/excerpts/excerpts/learn-why-women-carry-more-fat-than-men

    http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/pregnancy-and-obesity/art-20044409?pg=1

    http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/tinamarina2.htm
  • Alligator423
    Alligator423 Posts: 87 Member
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    RockstarWilson wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    RockstarWilson wrote: »
    Some belly fat on a woman that is younger is natural, as the baby lives off fat when in the womb, and the body incubates it with fat. So, until you stop menstruating, your body is always preparing to have a baby. It takes a special genetic type, or a modeling career, to have as slender stomach as the ones you see in victorias secret.

    Hope you lose your 7 lbs, but dont obsess over what you see on your stomach. Its natural. Anthropogenic, really.

    Ummm ...nope ..the foetus gets nutrients from the placenta which gets them from the mothers blood system and not from belly fat ..and the foetus is protected by the womb, again not belly fat.

    Sweet thought though

    So then why does woman get fat when woman have baby? If baby get food from placenta, woman should not gain weight... and I mean this in general, explanatory terms, not insulting pregnant women. Please dont take out of context.


    Women get fat when they're pregnant because they overeat. In reality women need only gain ~15 pounds when pregnant.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    OP, I'm in the same boat. I still want to lose a couple pounds. I keep getting told I'm too skinny... Really... nope. I just carry it all in the same place (hips/lower back) so it bothers me (and my stomach, maybe, but I can't tell from all the loose skin there). I'm 133 pounds at 5'5".
  • shajenkins88
    shajenkins88 Posts: 18 Member
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    They are just not use to seeing the new you- as long as you are doing it the healthy way, staying hydrated & doing it for YOU- push on to your goal then maintain.... I get the same thing & I am sooooo tired of it. Infact, tell them you've been the SAME weight for 6 months & been maintaining & they're losing their minds lol
  • spacepony
    spacepony Posts: 13 Member
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    Thank you for this post, I'm glad I'm not alone! I'm 5'7.5", turning 31 soon, and just went from my highest most unhealthy weight since reaching adulthood at 182 lbs to being in the best shape of my life thanks to 5 months of hard work (MFP, yoga, & running! also gave up booze for personal health concerns) at 143 lbs. I have nice solid muscle all over that I've never had before so I'm guessing ~10lbs of muscle... so yes that means I'm quite literally more than half size my since Christmas. I was squeezing into size 14s, now size 4s are falling off me. This is causing constant comments from my husband (and my mom when I visit) to "stop losing weight". He even said "I don't think I can handle having any less of you, there's barely anything there now.." um, ok that's "sweet" I guess? But if the opposite were happening, would he really freaking say "Sorry honey I can't possibly handle any MORE of you"?? No. And it's not like as soon as the weight comes off so do all your body image issues..so why do people treat weight loss like we're the luckiest *kitten* who somehow found a silver spoon and now we're bulletproof? I'm not done with my body yet, so much more strength & toning I want to do, but now I'm afraid of being unattractive all over again, on the opposite spectrum. Not cool.

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