BUTT OUT

LaDawn74
LaDawn74 Posts: 132 Member
edited September 27 in Motivation and Support
There's a certain person in my life who couldn't believe that I was having a hamburger and french fries today and a coke.

Told her everyone needs a cheat day. I've been really good in watching what I eat. Didn't have many calories today anyways.

I'm going to the gym tomorrow and I've always been under on calories so I know that this 1 time won't hurt me.

Let me do this and butt out of how I'm doing it.

She tries to micro manange my life at times........and its driving me nuts....but its hard to tell the person to stop it when its your MOM!!!!!

Does anyone have a person in their life like that????

Replies

  • LisaKyle11
    LisaKyle11 Posts: 662 Member
    in a simple word..... YES.
  • shimila1101
    shimila1101 Posts: 119
    Yes and she's my mom and I tell her to butt out. She may not like it, but she does.
  • lisabernard
    lisabernard Posts: 59 Member
    I always used to say, "If it's not one thing......... it's my mother!"

    She's been gone 7 years this year....

    Keep in mind, she just has your best interests in mind. She wants you to be successful. :-)

    - Lisa
  • Pandorian
    Pandorian Posts: 2,055 Member
    Absolutely, I'm down over 30 lbs, finally, after being pushed to lose weight lose lose lose, now that I'm actually losing it naturally, healthily I've got supplements being pushed at me from someone who just signed up as a distributor for them, free samples that I won't use as I don't take supplements... protein powder, psyllium fiber etc I don't include under "supplements" they're not from big-pharma :)

    SO now that I'm showing healthy progress and getting weight down they want me to take product that they can probably then claim hey he went from X to Y on this you can too!
  • potluck965
    potluck965 Posts: 529 Member
    I know sometimes it's difficult when someone else is trying to take charge of your life, but trust me, it is a lot better than having no one that cares at all.
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,075 Member
    Hey friend... I've never had "restrictions" in what I eat and I'm currently in maintenance having lost 91 pounds... this whole idea of "no no" foods gets on my last nerve... just a creation of stupid marketing ploys and fad diets. You don't have to live like that to have a well balanced healthy diet and by diet I mean what you eat... GOOD FOR YOU!
  • MrBrown72
    MrBrown72 Posts: 407 Member
    I dated a girl "for a short time" who allowed her mother too much control. I think it's part of being an adult that you learn to tell your parents to mind their own business. First you get disbelief, followed by anger and the obligatory guilt trip, but eventually you get respect,.
  • SunLove8
    SunLove8 Posts: 693 Member
    That's such B.S.!!! I know it's your Mom and all but really this journey is about YOU! Maybe not going out to eat with her would be best at this point. I think she means well in her own way but you can't have that type of stress and control. It's your life, your body and your goals that will lead you to your success...not hers. Good luck hon! You can do it!!!:flowerforyou:
  • chezmama
    chezmama Posts: 396 Member
    My husband. He's been pretty supportive for him, but here is our coversation from last week:

    Me: Honey, I lost a pound this week!
    Him: Yeah, but you didn't lose any last week, so really it's only a half a pound.

    It kind of makes me want to keep even my good weeks to myself.
  • jennysikma
    jennysikma Posts: 20 Member
    Ha...ya!...I really only started this program when my mom pointed out that this is the heaviest she has ever seen me...and that she was worried about me...she means well...but it really hit home and hurt me.
  • bmw4deb
    bmw4deb Posts: 1,324 Member
    oh yeah !
  • ricepattikay
    ricepattikay Posts: 46 Member
    Way to be supportive huh?
  • tatiana_13
    tatiana_13 Posts: 325
    That's actually why i never tell anyone "in the real world" when or how I'm trying to lose weight. If they see me exercising i just say "yeah, I'm trying to exercise a little." But I never say "diet" and I never say "trying to lose weight." Because people are always up in your business.

    If its not policing your cheat days, its giving you advice about the diet you SHOULD be on, instead of the one you are on. If you're eating grapes, you should be eating blueberries. If you are eating white rice, they shake their head and tell you it should be brown rice (while they're munching on some pizza, of course).

    That is precisely why I'm on MFP. I tell all of you what I'm doing. But not them!
  • ItsMeMaryW
    ItsMeMaryW Posts: 119 Member
    I started this at the end of July and have lost 126 lbs in 10 months. I was talking to my Dad and he asked me how much I had lost now. I told him and he said...Slowing down huh!....I was like..Really?? I thought 126 in 10 months was pretty good. Of course its not going to always come off fast but Dang!!! What do I have to do to Impress him anyway!! But then he turns around and tells my sister how proud of me he is... go figure~
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    My mom isn't the least bit supportive.

    When I was heavier, she would remind me about the heart issues on my bio dad's side of the family.

    Now that I'm thinner and tell her that I can run on the treadmill - she tells me running will kill me.

    Good heavens.

    I'm gonna die - no one gets out of life alive. I think I'd rather do it running on a treadmill than stuffing a Big Mac down my throat.
  • moremari
    moremari Posts: 118 Member
    When I read your post I said to myself, this sounds like my mom. Of course, I then read you were talking about your mom. Why do mom's insist on doubting our decisions? They know our buttons. Stick by your choices. Trust yourself. You're in this for you not for pleasing others around you, mom's most of all. BTW, I'm eating comfort food today too- it's not cheating it's a choice-and I comfortable with that.

    Hope you loved your burger?
  • runlorirun
    runlorirun Posts: 389
    My hubby is mine....lol He tried to be helpful but it was just annoying!

    This it what helped me: Every month, a few days before TOM, I want to just eat and eat and eat. But I have been making better choices this time around. Even when I was over a few times I didn't let his comments bother me and he quit bugging me about it when I showed him the food diary. I had logged everything that went into my mouth.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    My mom used to do similar things like that back when I wasn't exercising and eating terribly. One of my wake up calls to losing weight, however, was when she told me after Christmas, "I've never seen you eat so much food in one sitting than I did today." That hurt a lot, but it helped me realize I wasn't healthy. So I have to give my mom credit for calling me out on my stuff. If she were to say something to me now, when I know I was fine calorie-wise with eating whatever I was eating, I would say, "Yeah, I'm eating this plate of fries right now, but I worked out for X minutes today/whatever you did physically and ate a salad for lunch)." Or make a comment that this is a special occasion. Or eat your fries with a plate of veggies instead of the burger, or the veggies instead of the fries with your burger. I ate a burger tonight with a side of fruit. That shows people I'm willing to indulge with them but also am keeping my goals in mind.
  • TracieJ65
    TracieJ65 Posts: 645 Member
    I have been at this for over 16 months and have lost 110 pounds! Last weekend we were out of town, for three days, for one of our daughters graduation from college! My entire family flew in from CA! I knew all three days that we would be eating out and I told myself it was FINE! I know what I am doing now and I know how to control myself! I started each day at 6am and put in 50 minutes of good cardio burning over 1000 calories, had a bowl of oatmeal, each morning, and the rest of each day we were out for ALL MEALS. I enjoyed myself and I ate foods I haven't for a while and were not necessarily low in calories. I had a good, enjoyable three days and while I may not have lost anything I did not gain anything. So, good for you for having your hamburger and fries!! You had the calories to do it, you were going to put in a great workout, and you are just fine! You know/knew what you need to do and that is the difference between now and when you began your journey!
  • healthyandlean
    healthyandlean Posts: 17
    YES!! MY MOM/ sister/ when we are speaking GRRrrr!! Do you need to eat THAT?? SO frustrating!! I am struggling now anyway!! I have a friend who is selling MEDIFAST Sends me emails..calls comments FAV!! YES it is expensive but so is being OBESE!! Avoid this girl now/whenever i can!! Whoa... Sorry/short visits with FAMILY & certain "friends"!! IGNORE THEM GOOD LUCK xxox CCJ
  • kgs0201
    kgs0201 Posts: 459 Member
    My mom has actually done the OPPOSITE. She has given me the "you're getting too skinny.. you need to stop now" lecture... I am NOT that skinny.

    Luckily (i say this with sarcasm), I have an older brother who has no problem pointing out to me when I'm eating "unhealthy" foods. At first it used to frustrate me, but now that I've gotten to my goal by NOT making drastic changes to my eating, I really don't care when he says anything. The thing is, he *thinks* he eats healthy but I don't see ANY results on his side... hmmmm :-) And honestly, the comments have seemed to come to a halt as well.

    So just keep doing what you're doing and let the results speak for themselves! Whether it takes you 6 months or a year, this is a lifetime change and in the long run you will be successful BECAUSE you let yourself have the foods you crave!
  • freshmenthesis
    freshmenthesis Posts: 36 Member
    Some moms are awful for this.

    As an overweight child I had a particularly difficult time dealing with a thin mother who wanted me to be the same.
    I know now that it was out of general concern for my health and happiness, but at the time her attempts to (as you said) micromanage my every move only made me fell horrible about myself. Every effort I decided to take on my own toward weight loss became something else for her to control and I would quickly need to rebel by quitting.

    She has become much more positive and supportive as I have grown up but the feelings of inadequacy took years to overcome.
    Hope it gets better for you!
  • LaDawn74
    LaDawn74 Posts: 132 Member
    My Mom needs to loose weight too..her way is just eating soup......NOT the healthy way.........trying to get her to change is IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!

    I live in my Mom's house while she lives with the lady we BOTH take care of... so I'm around her 3 days a week......24 hr days......

    I'm doing this for ME!!! Not for anyone esle.......if I want to have a non good day...then so be it......just as long as I'm careful and don't let it last for more than 1 day at a time......

    I didn't have cheese or mayo on my burger...nor bacon....and didn't have a LOT of fries either.....

    I've been stopping when I'm full and not going back for 2nds.....

    I've very proud of myself........Don't care what anyone else says.....

    Just had to vent earlier........Glad I'm NOT the only one....
  • nurse_carolyn
    nurse_carolyn Posts: 348
    That's actually why i never tell anyone "in the real world" when or how I'm trying to lose weight. If they see me exercising i just say "yeah, I'm trying to exercise a little." But I never say "diet" and I never say "trying to lose weight." Because people are always up in your business.

    If its not policing your cheat days, its giving you advice about the diet you SHOULD be on, instead of the one you are on. If you're eating grapes, you should be eating blueberries. If you are eating white rice, they shake their head and tell you it should be brown rice (while they're munching on some pizza, of course).

    That is precisely why I'm on MFP. I tell all of you what I'm doing. But not them!

    that's me too, it's better that way:)
  • jennysikma
    jennysikma Posts: 20 Member
    I notice a lot of people here have mothers that can't help but say something to you, whether its...your too fat or your too skinny...I wonder why it is someone whom loves you unconditionally, yet doesn't realize the hurt that comes out of their mouths. Do you think because they are your parents, they think they can say what ever is on their mind...even if it is not always something you want to here?

    20 days ago is when my mother pointed out my weight...since then she is in Holland on an vacation with Dad...and she hasn't seen me...I lost 12 lbs...and I bet she won't even notice when she comes home. 1 more week and I will find out...
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