Thin Line Between 'Obsessive' and 'Focused'

agreenid · May 2015

Currently on a 41 day streak (longest I've ever gone on MFP) and feel like I'm doing really well. I'm down 12lbs and have been able to do more at the gym. I'm on day 28 of a 30 day Squat challenge with a friend and am prepping food at home, weighing, and logging correctly. I've noticed in the past few weeks, though, that I'm bordering on obsessive mindsets.

I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I used to weigh upwards of 290 and have managed to keep at least 85-90 of that off for the last seven years or so but got sort of comfortable hovering around to 190/200 mark. I'm really making a push to get down to 160ish (then re-evaluate) which is 24lbs away. Suddenly that number "24" seems really do-able (which is great!) but my mental state is starting to focus only on the calorie counting and exercise to the point where I'm struggling with reminding myself that "slow and steady" and "moderation" are keywords and that I need to do this in a sustainable way (lifestyle change versus "diet").

For example, on Saturday my boyfriend and I went out to dinner and a movie. I stayed within my calorie count (best I could guess) as I'd pushed hard a the gym earlier that day and we'd had a late start due to a lazy Saturday morning. And yet I was still was super focused on thinking about how to push myself at the next workout to "make up for it"--even though I was still in my calorie count for the day! But because I couldn't track everything perfectly (i.e. I didn't make it for myself) I was sure I'd gone way over. The thing is that I know I'm consistently under my calories during the week (eating my base and some of my exercise but not all) and that I under-estimate the exercise calories on purpose--if the machine says I burned 450, I clock it at about 400 and try not to eat them all back. So even if I overindulged one day, it shouldn't be a huge setback. But my brain is trying to battle me on it and I am worried about how to deal with this.

If anyone else has any advice or has dealt with similar issues, I'd appreciate any insight on how you stayed in a "healthy" mindset.

Mr_Knight · May 2015

The great ones are obsessed.

TraceSing · May 2015

I am in EXACTLY the same mind set as you are!! It actually gets exhausting at times. I get so tired of it being on my mind 24/7 but know that for this to be successful and long lasting that I HAVE to be on top of it at all times.

I believe a meal here and there is a necessity if we are going to live our lives with some enjoyment. You have to be able to indulge once in awhile.... and that's the trick I think! Learning to control the bingeing and choosing healthier foods and a more active lifestyle.

cindyangotti · May 2015

I wouldn't worry about it. There are worse things you could be obsessive about. It's only been 45 days. It will take time to get used to your new lifestyle.

iluvnycntexas · May 2015

You don't want to be obsessed that you become bulimic or something BUT when you are really focused on any goal, don't you become "obsessed"? I know I do. We fight for the things that matter to us and health is a very important thing to fight for!!!

999tigger · May 2015

Just find a balance, the more ive gone along the calmer I feel because it will take a lot to undo my good work. Being focused is how you make it happen, keep yourself on track and respond to any changes. You need to be flexible about the rules of the game, so focus has the more importnat aim of getting me to target, but you cna be flexible how to do that. Know when to push, support or give yourself some rest, ay each stage one or the other will be approriate. Being too brittle can end up working against you.

agreenid · May 2015

999tigger wrote: »

Just find a balance, the more ive gone along the calmer I feel because it will take a lot to undo my good work. Being focused is how you make it happen, keep yourself on track and respond to any changes. You need to be flexible about the rules of the game, so focus has the more importnat aim of getting me to target, but you cna be flexible how to do that. Know when to push, support or give yourself some rest, ay each stage one or the other will be approriate. Being too brittle can end up working against you.

I think this is a good point. I think I feel like 12lbs is a lot, it's great! But it's still something fairly easy to "undo".

Thanks guys for all your advice so far. It's more of heading off a problem that I don't want to occur--I've gotten so obsessive over diets in the past that it starts to effect everything and I just don't want to get to that point.

try2again · May 2015

My husband and I have been this way. One or the other of us is always logging something, and he will often go out and shoot a few baskets at night to cushion his log for the day. It is a little bit obsessive, but obsessive works when it comes to weight loss. And I would imagine part of it has to do with being so close to your goal- a person no doubt becomes sort of anxious and excited. It would only be a problem if you reached your desired healthy weight and suddenly found yourself driven to push beyond that, which I doubt will happen. But a certain level of "obsessiveness" will keep us all healthier

jaga13 · May 2015

I try to take it one day at a time, so that means for the most part I rarely go over my calorie goal on a daily basis. Last weekend included my birthday, so there was cake and going out to eat. I went over Saturday and Sunday, which I don't normally do. So yes, I did exercise last night after the kids went to bed to try to minimize the damage (I was still in deficit for the whole week). I think it's ok to put that extra effort in and to be aware. I don't know, maybe someone might say it's obsessive that I spent 30 minutes pacing around the house while my kids watched a show just to earn back some more calories, but I feel that is a good use of my time rather than just sitting on the sofa and watching another cartoon I don't want to watch

shamcd · May 2015

I found myself thinking and behaving the same way, and found that it was easier and less stressful to check myself on a weekly basis. I would still log daily and always knew what I was consuming, but if I went over by a few hundred calories a day or two, it wouldn't haunt me since I could form the next week around a tighter deficit. I keep a very simple spread sheet and enter my daily calories into it, and keep a running weekly average that way. Don't let logging get in the way of having fun

arv51862 · May 2015

For me it's about priorities. Once I can get it into my mind that loosing weight, getting healthier, looking better is all more important than the pleasure I might get from eating or drinking anything, THEN I can keep myself focused, on track, & if you want to call it obsessed, so be it. You do what you need to do to succeed. MFP is an awesome tool that prior generations had to make do without, but it really does make "dieting" so much easier. Everything is intentional & known up front rather than hit or miss & weekly weigh ins to track your progress (still important, but with MFP you should have a pretty good idea what the scale will say even before you get on it). And in this process we are all learning what to eat, what not to eat, the effects of exercise, etc. Our lifestyles should be forever changed as a result of what we learn in the process.

esjones12 · May 2015

I canceled a party I was supposed to have this weekend so I didn't go over my calories...there were not a lot of people coming and I figured it wasn't worth it....*shrug*

RaeB1013 · May 2015

I am currently in that state of mind as well. I have lost 20 lbs in 5 weeks and I feel fantastic. This is the most focused I've ever been in all my attempts at losing weight. I know I'm a little on the obsessive side, but to me, it's better than the alternative...which is why I've never been successful in losing weight before. I have a lot of weight to lose...still 137 lbs to go....so I NEED to stay focused, albeit a bit obsessed. This is a lifestyle change for me, so until I feel comfortable, I'll be logging everything. Keep plugging away!

aimmer20 · May 2015

I don't think of my WL journey as an obsession, I think of it as a hobby. I have wanted to lose weight and get fit for a long time but I never put that much energy into it. I'm 3 months into my journey and 16 pounds down. I'm happy with how I've done so far and looking forward to getting into the gym and seeing a bigger difference. The only time I would consider this an obsession would be if I was restricting calories to the extreme or working out for hours at a time. Keep up the good work!

Thin Line Between 'Obsessive' and 'Focused'

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