Trouble with friends

msty112
msty112 Posts: 199 Member
edited November 18 in Motivation and Support
I've lost quite a bit of weight now and am a very health conscious now. My problem has become that my less healthy friends seem to think I'm a different person. Over the weekend they had a pizza and movie night but didn't invite me because they said they didn't think I would be interested because all they are doing was eating pizza and junk food and drinking wine. We've all been friends for over 15 years and I'm not going to lie, it hurt.

Replies

  • RachaelWinston
    RachaelWinston Posts: 41 Member
    Tell them just because you are more health conscious now doesn't mean you can't enjoy their company or foods you used to enjoy you just may be having a slice less of pizza and one glass of wine less than you used to. Real friends will understand.
  • esjones12
    esjones12 Posts: 1,363 Member
    Would you have gone? Don't be afraid to talk with them. If they are your real friends they would understand where you are coming from.

    I've definitely seen a shift in my friendships, but probably because my life HAS changed dramatically and all I talk about is health and fitness. So I hang around people who enjoy that. I find myself restraining myself around people who are not into it.

    People change and grow all the time. Doesn't mean you have to end friendships, but have a chat with them and clear the air.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited May 2015
    Huuuummm, I am not quite sure what to make of this..

    1) 15 years of freindship and you could not talk about how you feel about either being ok to be around them eating pizza and drinking wine or at least having a choice to join them or not?

    2) You may act different around them in some sort of way that makes them uncomfortable to be around you in this "health conscious" manner you live in now

    Something happened either way because 15 years of friendship does not go like that.. after 15 years if I can't be myself and have others accept me for who I am... to hell with that..
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    There's always 2 sides to a story, and as mentioned, if someone knows you well for 15 years and decided not to even mention a "friends" night out, there may be more going on than you know or realize. Find out. Be objective to the point of view and then either you patch it up, or move on.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • kevcren
    kevcren Posts: 49 Member
    ive lost friends. not that i didnt like them, they just started to pick on me for my healthy eating. if thats the case and they are gonna throw their junk on me thn i dont want to be friends! lol
  • msty112
    msty112 Posts: 199 Member
    I only found out that it even happened because one friend asked me why I didn't come. I would have gone if given enough notice to find a babysitter. When I asked the girl who arranged it she said she didn't invite me because she didn't want me to "ruin my diet". I feel like it is more than that. I told her how I felt and I would just not go if I didn't think I could control myself.
    I have definitely felt a major shift with 2 of my high school friends since deciding to change my lifestyle. Not sure if it is a form of jealousy or what.
    We have our annual beach trip together in 3 weeks. See how that goes
  • runningforthetrain
    runningforthetrain Posts: 1,037 Member
    Wow-- that is a tough one. I would speak with the person you feel closest to and tell her or him- you would have liked to come. Being honest- but, not too--- I wouldn't say anything about what you are thinking they think-- Keep it to the I. Make sure if the response is "we didn't think"-- Make sure to follow up with- I still enjoy pizza and drinking wine (if that is true). Otherwise, it is possible you are taking some enjoyment away by being present to remind them they are hedonistic fatties... and (important) feel bad about it.
  • runningforthetrain
    runningforthetrain Posts: 1,037 Member
    mmmm... didn't read your last post before my reply... sounds like unhappy fatty :neutral: That is too bad-
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    That's rough. Is there anything else going on besides just the health stuff? If not, let then know that you would've liked to come and hang out and that you where hurt. Being open and honest is best. A slice of pizza with friends is just fine, so there's no reason why you shouldn't have been included unless they are possibly angry over something else?
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