self satbotage

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meghanduprey
meghanduprey Posts: 158 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
what is wrong with me? it's like i have a subconscious desire to undermine my weightloss efforts. i got down to 172.5 and all of a sudden i feel like i can eat whatever i want or i "deserve" to eat extra all the time even though i know i'm going over my calories. i weighed myself this morning and i'm back up to 174 which isn't a huge increase, but it's an INCREASE. i don't know why i self sabotage like this all the time.
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  • Phoenix_Down
    Phoenix_Down Posts: 530 Member
    edited May 2015
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    How long have you been eating over? Do you know how much? If it's only a few days, honestly it's probably mostly water retention. Just get back to a moderate deficit and it'll trend back downward. I always had at least one day a week I'd eat over my deficit (typically my maintenance if not a but above ). I made sure I logged it, even if I was over. The next few days and sometimes even week looked bad scale wise and then the eater weight woosh happened and I was back on that deficit train.

    Always remember this is about long term and not a day or two. It's never over until you throw in the towel and give up :) it takes 3500 calories OVER your maintenance level to gain 1 lb.

    Eta: Also, a reason why you may feel the need to overeat..what are your calorie goals? Are you being too aggressive? Trying to eliminate foods you don't need to? Have unrealistic expectations? Like I mentioned earlier, we have to think of the long term. Don't feel bad eating a donut and don't throw your day away for a candy bar. Those things can fit into your life and you can still lose weight. It's all about balance
  • whmscll
    whmscll Posts: 2,254 Member
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    I do this, too. Don't beat yourself up over it. Get back on track and try to figure out why you went off track. Were you sick of weighing and measuring everything? Sick of denying yourself treats? Needing some recognition for your weight-loss efforts? Try to make changes so this cycle doesn't repeat. Or maybe go on maintenance for a while so you can loosen up and eat a bit more for a while. Maybe buy yourself a treat (not food!) when you reach incremental goals in your journey.
  • esjones12
    esjones12 Posts: 1,363 Member
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    Your body fluctuates a few pounds per day....

    That being said, your self sabotage could be linked to a million different things. For me personally, I spent the past 6 months stalling myself from progress because I just didn't want my goal bad enough. I didn't think I was worth it or good enough. I started something new and outside of my comfort zone....busted through that "plateau" like a mad woman.
  • JohnBarth
    JohnBarth Posts: 672 Member
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    Fear of success is often a much stronger force than the fear of failure. When you approach your goal, you begin to realize how much work it's going to be to maintain that new lifestyle.

    It sucks, but it's true. Don't be afraid to succeed, but be prepared to continue to put in the hard work that got you the results you're enjoying!
  • meghanduprey
    meghanduprey Posts: 158 Member
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    Phoenix_Down wrote: »
    How long have you been eating over? Do you know how much? If it's only a few days, honestly it's probably mostly water retention. Just get back to a moderate deficit and it'll trend back downward. I always had at least one day a week I'd eat over my deficit (typically my maintenance if not a but above ). I made sure I logged it, even if I was over. The next few days and sometimes even week looked bad scale wise and then the eater weight woosh happened and I was back on that deficit train.

    Always remember this is about long term and not a day or two. It's never over until you throw in the towel and give up :) it takes 3500 calories OVER your maintenance level to gain 1 lb.

    Eta: Also, a reason why you may feel the need to overeat..what are your calorie goals? Are you being too aggressive? Trying to eliminate foods you don't need to? Have unrealistic expectations? Like I mentioned earlier, we have to think of the long term. Don't feel bad eating a donut and don't throw your day away for a candy bar. Those things can fit into your life and you can still lose weight. It's all about balance

    I have my calories set to about 1400 or so but i usually end up around 1500-1600 normally. i have been feeling "indulgent" or "deserving" for like the last week or so. whether i tell myself it's because of my workouts (i don't count the calories for them, i track them on here but always set the calories to 1) or what i don't know... i haven't lost in a couple weeks and i know it's because of this general mindset. i'm trying to not throw in the towel completely, but it's embarrassing to track what i'm eating sometimes. today i had 5 pieces of bread from altanta bread company - oh spit- with peanut butter (which i just realized i didn't track) so i thought i had 170 calories left but really i'm probably like 300 over already and it's 4pm.

    i don't think i have unrealistic expectations, right now i'm at about 174ish, i want to get down to 150(ish). i don't mind losing slowly. i have genetics and antidepressants working against me so i know it's not going to happen overnight, i just have to LET it happen and have to figure out why i'm working against myself.
  • Phoenix_Down
    Phoenix_Down Posts: 530 Member
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    meghanduprey wrote: »
    Phoenix_Down wrote: »
    How long have you been eating over? Do you know how much? If it's only a few days, honestly it's probably mostly water retention. Just get back to a moderate deficit and it'll trend back downward. I always had at least one day a week I'd eat over my deficit (typically my maintenance if not a but above ). I made sure I logged it, even if I was over. The next few days and sometimes even week looked bad scale wise and then the eater weight woosh happened and I was back on that deficit train.

    Always remember this is about long term and not a day or two. It's never over until you throw in the towel and give up :) it takes 3500 calories OVER your maintenance level to gain 1 lb.

    Eta: Also, a reason why you may feel the need to overeat..what are your calorie goals? Are you being too aggressive? Trying to eliminate foods you don't need to? Have unrealistic expectations? Like I mentioned earlier, we have to think of the long term. Don't feel bad eating a donut and don't throw your day away for a candy bar. Those things can fit into your life and you can still lose weight. It's all about balance

    I have my calories set to about 1400 or so but i usually end up around 1500-1600 normally. i have been feeling "indulgent" or "deserving" for like the last week or so. whether i tell myself it's because of my workouts (i don't count the calories for them, i track them on here but always set the calories to 1) or what i don't know... i haven't lost in a couple weeks and i know it's because of this general mindset. i'm trying to not throw in the towel completely, but it's embarrassing to track what i'm eating sometimes. today i had 5 pieces of bread from altanta bread company - oh spit- with peanut butter (which i just realized i didn't track) so i thought i had 170 calories left but really i'm probably like 300 over already and it's 4pm.

    i don't think i have unrealistic expectations, right now i'm at about 174ish, i want to get down to 150(ish). i don't mind losing slowly. i have genetics and antidepressants working against me so i know it's not going to happen overnight, i just have to LET it happen and have to figure out why i'm working against myself.

    I would just reign in today the best you can and move forward. Depending on how much cardio you do, you might be fine where you're at, if not a little more Depends on how much you're losing per week, when you are in a deficit. About 1 lb per week is the general recommendation. Don't let the scale discourage you when you get back to it, it might take a week or two to fluctuate back downward but don't let that dishearten you.

    You do deserve to treat yourself. Just remember within reason. One thing that helped me was letting myself have treats but in moderation. Along with lean meats, vegetables and fruits I was able to keep hunger at bay, and I typically saves treats for the evening so I wasn't trying to eat them all day. Pretty portioned things might help too, so you're not tempted for seconds. I limit the availability of some foods like for me it's brownies and cupcakes. I do make them but I plan to indulge when I do.

    ♡

  • meghanduprey
    meghanduprey Posts: 158 Member
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    part of it could be water weight, what i'm eating is a little higher in sodium than what i normally eat....

    i don't know if maybe my workouts are making me feel like i "deserve" more food/treats too? i recently started doing spinning and am wondering if maybe subconsciously it's making me feel like i should be allowed to eat more food
  • Phoenix_Down
    Phoenix_Down Posts: 530 Member
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    I mea technically, higher activity does mean you can consume more and still lose. But if you're essentially doing TDEE (not eating back exercise calories), if you were to up calories, I'd do so at no more than 100 calories a week and see where the weight trends. Fluctuating calories means fluctuating weight, typically. There's a lot of other reasons too that sent fat related to why the scale goes up. If you've recently started spinning, it is also highly likely your muscles are retaining water from that as well. After a few weeks of consistent exercise, the scale should even out.

    Do you take measurements? That'd be another way to motivate. In the end, measurements and mirror are truly more important than the scale (though admittedly scale has its place to measure progress, it's just so finnicky :smile:
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    Tell yourself that you absolutely do deserve more food and lots of treats. However, you also deserve to be healthy and fit and achieve your goals. But you can't have both so you still have to make the choice. I think that acknowledging that thought and its consequences can be helpful. (now to take my own advice since I've been feeling the same way lately, argh)
  • Mapalicious
    Mapalicious Posts: 412 Member
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    meghanduprey wrote: »
    what is wrong with me? it's like i have a subconscious desire to undermine my weightloss efforts. i got down to 172.5 and all of a sudden i feel like i can eat whatever i want or i "deserve" to eat extra all the time even though i know i'm going over my calories. i weighed myself this morning and i'm back up to 174 which isn't a huge increase, but it's an INCREASE. i don't know why i self sabotage like this all the time.

    Darling, it's your biology. We're not MADE to starve ourselves, and your hormones and brain are sending INTENSE signals to your body to make you eat. That you want it, need it, deserve it...MUST HAVE IT!

    That's your body trying to make sure you survive on the savannah.

    But you know what? We're not on the damn savannah anymore - we're surrounded by cheap, readily available junk food. So FIGHT those urges. Think of other things you DESERVE in life! Like massages, love, fresh air & sunshine, flowers, art, happiness. Let those in, instead of the chocolate lava cake or whatever your poison may be.
  • meghanduprey
    meghanduprey Posts: 158 Member
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    one of my friends on here has been having a lot of success while i've been kind of plateau-ed and (god i sound like a jerk) for some reason seeing her being so successful makes me want to just say eff it all instead of work harder. is that weird?
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,690 Member
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    meghanduprey wrote: »
    one of my friends on here has been having a lot of success while i've been kind of plateau-ed and (god i sound like a jerk) for some reason seeing her being so successful makes me want to just say eff it all instead of work harder. is that weird?
    Weird? No.
    Productive or beneficial? No.
  • Phoenix_Down
    Phoenix_Down Posts: 530 Member
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    meghanduprey wrote: »
    one of my friends on here has been having a lot of success while i've been kind of plateau-ed and (god i sound like a jerk) for some reason seeing her being so successful makes me want to just say eff it all instead of work harder. is that weird?

    This is why I stopped measuring myself to others. The effort put forth to succeed, that's half the battle. Those that continue to succeed don't always do so. I lost 53 lbs but were there times I backslid or disappointed myself? Absolutely. Remember failure is not fatal. And the only reason you're in this is for YOU. The time spent doing so is irrelevant. You are making an effort to better yourself and that is worth more than giving up. Remember that.
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
    edited May 2015
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    You're not a jerk, OP, but comparing yourself to others is a no-win habit. Sticking with it takes a little mental energy, and everyone has their energy ups and downs. FWIW, I totally identify with going through spells of low energy/motivation/willpower. How do you recharge your cognitive energy?

    E.g. for me, it's time alone. My favorite way to spend energy is with fam & friends, but it is an energy spend. Classic introvert. When I get enough time alone, I have the mental energy needed to plan, to stick to my plan, etc. I also agree with an earlier commenter who said getting an appropriate number of calories to fuel yourself in the first place is a HUGE piece of the big picture. A little attention to giving your body & mind what they need will go a long way to staying on track. All the best to you!
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    It doesn't matter why you do it.

    Stop. Just stop.

    Any no. That isn't easy. But it's possible.
  • overin2015
    overin2015 Posts: 94 Member
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    I read a really good article about this at one time or it may have been on here. Our bodies get used to a certain weight and when we feel we are "self sabotaging" we are actually just eating back up to the calories that kept us at the higher weight. We had a "habit" of eating there and the body got used to that habit. Let down your guard and you will naturally start eating back at that point. It is interesting and I have tested it. It's true for me. So how to overcome it? Recognize that it's happening and KEEP logging your food. Push through until you get to a better habit that the body adjusts to. It was comforting to me to know it wasn't necessarily some psychological thing I needed to really dig into but just my body doing what it does - keeping the status quo. Tell your body you want more for it and keep on pushing on!
  • jingerbird
    jingerbird Posts: 25 Member
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    I feel like this quite often. I love being the new thinner me, but sometimes I feel I don't deserve it. I haven't really found a way to stop these feelings yet but I am working on it. I have put on 10 lbs recently (over a few months) and my nice new clothes, aren't fitting me so well. This has happened before and I felt ok because I had my bigger clothes still. I sorted this last time by throwing away those bigger clothes. But I'm a bit scared this time that I will just end up with clothes that are too small .
  • ArkMom35
    ArkMom35 Posts: 225 Member
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    I don't know what to do about it, but I'm right there with you. I lost 50 lbs and now just want to eat all the time. I'm over exercise, I'm over counting calories, and I just don't seem to care. I'll have a few good days, and then blow it. It's like I've lost the heart to continue. On the bright side, I'm very happy with my 50 lb loss. However, I still want to lose at least another 30. I'm not sure if a break would help at all, but as much as I want to eat, I really really don't want to gain that weight back. I'm just trying to muddle through it until I can get re-inspired.
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
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    meghanduprey wrote: »
    what is wrong with me? it's like i have a subconscious desire to undermine my weightloss efforts. i got down to 172.5 and all of a sudden i feel like i can eat whatever i want or i "deserve" to eat extra all the time even though i know i'm going over my calories. i weighed myself this morning and i'm back up to 174 which isn't a huge increase, but it's an INCREASE. i don't know why i self sabotage like this all the time.

    Are you weighing and measuring everything?

    (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

    I think it is battle fatigue. That and something called "licensing." People who exercise often "license" themselves to eat more. People who use reusable grocery bags license themselves to buy junk food. We get it in our head that because I did something good, then I deserve to do this other thing. Look for something else to indulge in. Instead of rewarding yourself with food, go buy something or go do something that you've been putting off because it is too expensive or because it would keep you from doing something else that needs to be done.
  • nicola8989
    nicola8989 Posts: 381 Member
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    I feel like this whenever the scale starts moving down. I'm not sure what I can advise but just wanted to give you a bit of sympathy and let you know you aren't losing it x

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