IF YOU COULD WRITE A NOTE TO YOUR YOUNGER SELF?

asflatasapancake wrote: »

Dear younger asflatasapancake,

This is your older self speaking to you from the future. I know it's hard to believe. Believe it, punk. I'm sorry I said punk. I never say that. I have a few words of wisdom that might help your transition to me go a little smoother. First, stop jackin it so much. You'll get caught. They'll be an investigation. Stickiness and general ugliness will ensue. Take a cold shower or punch yourself in the nuts if you have to. But not too hard. Second, take some time to research calories, basal metabolic rate, total daily energy expenditure and such. If you don't, you'll get fat, then spend a bunch of time losing all that fat. I started counting calories, I know, you think it's too obsessive and unnecessary, but it's not. Remember, calories in, calories out. Third, brush your teeth more. I have an artificial tooth that hurt like a mofo. It got infected, they pulled it, it sucked. Try to floss too. My last bit of advice, and this is important, don't be such a dick. Be nice to people. Do the best you can. Oh, and also, watch out for women in bikinis and hot tubs. They're just asking for trouble. If you encounter such an experience, not saying you will, ok maybe, leave the scene immediately.

Sincerely,

future asflataspancake