Kids wearing makeup
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I have a 5 1/2 year old and tell her everyday she's smart, beautiful, love herself first and foremost and be herself. She sees me putting on makeup and she asked me once why I put it on, for which I wasn't sure exactly how to answer. She asks if I can put pretend makeup on her and I pretend like I do, but really nothing goes on her face and she knows that. I, myself, only wear makeup when I go to work or on special occasions. I'm divorced, but my daughter's father and I are very much in sync about not letting our daughter wear makeup/nail polish and just be a little girl. We both do feel as if it is protraying her in an adult like manner and expediting her growth - she plays dressup and all that other little girl stuff, so she's not deprived. My daughter's cousin and her mom are very into the dressup, gloss, and nail polish and we went to my daughter's cousin's birthday party where it was a "glam" party. My daughter wasn't interested anyway and gravitated to the arts & crafts. My daughter has a big birth mark on her cheek that is like a big splotch of brown, but she's never noticed it and I've never pointed it out either - I actually don't really notice it anymore. She's beautiful and it just makes her more special. When she becomes a teenager like midway through high school and she wants to wear makeup and cover it up, we'll talk about it and I'll let her tell me her feelings on it and let her independently make that decision.
As to the pedophile part, I've been around many...I don't feel like it is a prerequisite for them to act, but like another poster above said, it definitely isn't a deterrant either.
Just my thoughts...and this is a good post...get's you thinking.0 -
I would let my hypothetical daughter play with my make up but I wouldn't encourage it. And unless it was Fasching (German festival where you dress up), I would not accept make up outside the house. Neither would I accept high heels. Not because of pedos or anything but because some things are for adults and some are for kids. I mean, the REASON behind make up is to make eyes bigger and lips redder because that's sexually attractive to men. That's not something a child should be trying to be.
Around age 13 I'd TEACH my daughter how to apply make up properly but nowadays I thank my mum for ordering me to wash my face before school rather than letting me go to school with bright blue eyelids.0 -
furioushummingbird wrote: »Let me rephrase the question:
Do you think it's inappropriate for a woman to wear makeup? Would you allow a woman to walk in public with pink lip gloss or is that asking for a sexual predator to abduct them? Do you think all women that wear makeup are insecure and self conscious?
Something rubs me the wrong way about the mentality that makeup= sexualized. It's paint for your face. Why does it effect other people and their lives so much?
Makeup IS sexualized. Makeup like lipstick and lip gloss are meant to mimic the way a woman's lips will turn redder as she is sexually turned on. The same goes for cheeks and the use of blush. These are clear signs of arousal and the original purpose of makeup was to reproduce that look in order to increase the woman's attractiveness. Do we think of this when we put make up on? Probably not. But, do men respond to the reddened lips and cheeks? Yes, it's our inner primitive instincts.
I don't think it is the sole reason that a pedophile or rapist would go after a woman but it certainly doesn't discourage it. I personally don't wear make up for the main reason that it's unnecessary and ends up clogging pores, irritating my eyes, etc. Most young girls who wear foundation end up wearing more to cover up the zits that are already popping up due to their changing hormones. Let kids be kids. If they're pre-puberty, a definite no for me. If they're teens, I'm okay but I would discourage it and encourage them to find their own sense of beauty without it.
So help me out here, what should I wear to discourage the primitive caveman who simply cannot help himself from attacking a pretty looking woman from choosing me as his target? A burqa? Thanks for your help
Bingo.0 -
furioushummingbird wrote: »Let me rephrase the question:
Do you think it's inappropriate for a woman to wear makeup? Would you allow a woman to walk in public with pink lip gloss or is that asking for a sexual predator to abduct them? Do you think all women that wear makeup are insecure and self conscious?
Something rubs me the wrong way about the mentality that makeup= sexualized. It's paint for your face. Why does it effect other people and their lives so much?
Makeup IS sexualized. Makeup like lipstick and lip gloss are meant to mimic the way a woman's lips will turn redder as she is sexually turned on. The same goes for cheeks and the use of blush. These are clear signs of arousal and the original purpose of makeup was to reproduce that look in order to increase the woman's attractiveness. Do we think of this when we put make up on? Probably not. But, do men respond to the reddened lips and cheeks? Yes, it's our inner primitive instincts.
I don't think it is the sole reason that a pedophile or rapist would go after a woman but it certainly doesn't discourage it. I personally don't wear make up for the main reason that it's unnecessary and ends up clogging pores, irritating my eyes, etc. Most young girls who wear foundation end up wearing more to cover up the zits that are already popping up due to their changing hormones. Let kids be kids. If they're pre-puberty, a definite no for me. If they're teens, I'm okay but I would discourage it and encourage them to find their own sense of beauty without it.
You know what encourages a pedophile or rapist to attack? The fact that you are a living, breathing, human being (in most cases).0 -
furioushummingbird wrote: »Let me rephrase the question:
Do you think it's inappropriate for a woman to wear makeup? Would you allow a woman to walk in public with pink lip gloss or is that asking for a sexual predator to abduct them? Do you think all women that wear makeup are insecure and self conscious?
Something rubs me the wrong way about the mentality that makeup= sexualized. It's paint for your face. Why does it effect other people and their lives so much?
*Slow clap*
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Not out of the house. But around the house it's fine. And no problem with maybe a barely there lip gloss
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As the father of a little girl I'd like to say. .
NO! Nuh! No! Not until her teens!!
Also, No Dating till I'm dead! No boys at home, No male BFF who winks at me when I say behave.0 -
furioushummingbird wrote: »Let me rephrase the question:
Do you think it's inappropriate for a woman to wear makeup? Would you allow a woman to walk in public with pink lip gloss or is that asking for a sexual predator to abduct them? Do you think all women that wear makeup are insecure and self conscious?
Something rubs me the wrong way about the mentality that makeup= sexualized. It's paint for your face. Why does it effect other people and their lives so much?
Makeup IS sexualized. Makeup like lipstick and lip gloss are meant to mimic the way a woman's lips will turn redder as she is sexually turned on. The same goes for cheeks and the use of blush. These are clear signs of arousal and the original purpose of makeup was to reproduce that look in order to increase the woman's attractiveness. Do we think of this when we put make up on? Probably not. But, do men respond to the reddened lips and cheeks? Yes, it's our inner primitive instincts.
I don't think it is the sole reason that a pedophile or rapist would go after a woman but it certainly doesn't discourage it. I personally don't wear make up for the main reason that it's unnecessary and ends up clogging pores, irritating my eyes, etc. Most young girls who wear foundation end up wearing more to cover up the zits that are already popping up due to their changing hormones. Let kids be kids. If they're pre-puberty, a definite no for me. If they're teens, I'm okay but I would discourage it and encourage them to find their own sense of beauty without it.As to the pedophile part, I've been around many...I don't feel like it is a prerequisite for them to act, but like another poster above said, it definitely isn't a deterrant either.
Would you teach that your daughters? Don't wear make-up, don't wear short skirts, don't look pretty or you'll encourage being raped? Really? And here I was thinking our society had moved past victim blaming.
What exactly should little girls (and boys) and grown-up women (and men) do to deter paedophiles and rapists?...
So help me out here, what should I wear to discourage the primitive caveman who simply cannot help himself from attacking a pretty looking woman from choosing me as his target? A burqa? Thanks for your help
You, I like!0 -
Honestly, I'm far more concerned about ensuring my daughter knows that her fashion choices have no impact on whether or not she's attacked. Particularly since the vast majority of children are sexually assaulted by relatives or close family friends who certainly have occasion to see her without childishly applied play make up.
Even assuming make up does magically entice adults into messing with prepubescent children, are you (general you) really going to tell me that glitter eyeshadow and lip gloss that ends up mostly around her lips rather than on them is attractive? If anything I think it makes her look more obviously like a child. I still don't allow it outside of play time, but that's just because I want to be consistent for when she gets older and can make herself look seventeen rather than twelve. I figure horny teenagers are a more practical concern than paedophiles.0 -
As a mother of 3 girls, I can only do and teach what I think is best for MY kids. My older 2 are 11 and 9. They had girls in their class showing up with high lights, 4in heels, eye liner and red lips in the 2nd grade. While my girls get flavored lip gloss. I'm far from a perfect parent so I won't judge another's parents choice of what they allow their child to do as long as it's not harming anyone. I did let them have a small pink streak in their hair last summer, and they have colorful nail polishes. I let them play with makeup at home, but they know no makeup out of the house till they are 13, and even they it will be light. Right now my 11 yr old is trying to convince us to let her have dreadlocks.... I'm actually contemplating it.
As far as pedophiles go. They will look no matter what you do. But I feel that when you start to dress little girls up like women (like in the Picts above), then lines become blurred and men start looking. I saw a mother and daughter at the mall last week and overheard the mom talking. I would have sworn the daughter was in her late teens early 20's. High heels, micro mini, crop top, bleach blonde hair and enough make up to put Tammy Faye Baker to shame..... She was 12. I saw grown men look her up and down, not knowing her age. To me that isn't ok. But then I'm not her mom. I seriously feel bad for guys these days. Can't talk to a cute girl cause you can't tell if she's 13 or 23.0 -
tat2cookie wrote: »As a mother of 3 girls, I can only do and teach what I think is best for MY kids. My older 2 are 11 and 9. They had girls in their class showing up with high lights, 4in heels, eye liner and red lips in the 2nd grade. While my girls get flavored lip gloss. I'm far from a perfect parent so I won't judge another's parents choice of what they allow their child to do as long as it's not harming anyone. I did let them have a small pink streak in their hair last summer, and they have colorful nail polishes. I let them play with makeup at home, but they know no makeup out of the house till they are 13, and even they it will be light. Right now my 11 yr old is trying to convince us to let her have dreadlocks.... I'm actually contemplating it.
As far as pedophiles go. They will look no matter what you do. But I feel that when you start to dress little girls up like women (like in the Picts above), then lines become blurred and men start looking. I saw a mother and daughter at the mall last week and overheard the mom talking. I would have sworn the daughter was in her late teens early 20's. High heels, micro mini, crop top, bleach blonde hair and enough make up to put Tammy Faye Baker to shame..... She was 12. I saw grown men look her up and down, not knowing her age. To me that isn't ok. But then I'm not her mom. I seriously feel bad for guys these days. Can't talk to a cute girl cause you can't tell if she's 13 or 23.
Totally agree!0 -
Not your kids? Not your business. Your kids? Not anyone else's business.
If a boy's behavior towards a "cute girl" who is enough of a stranger to him that he doesn't know her age is inappropriate when directed at a 13yo, the issue is that he's behaving inappropriately, not that the girl isn't accurately broadcasting her sexual availability status.0 -
I let my daughter a 7 do it. She'll be 11 in July and doesn't have much interest in it now. I just wish she'd brush her hair more.
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I don't have a little girl, but personally I probably wouldn't allow her to play with make-up, and I definitely wouldn't let her wear it out of the house. As a mother, I feel like a childhood should be spent building up self confidence and I wouldn't want her to mistake make-up for a way of getting confidence.. if that makes sense? lol0
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I grew up on the stage and started wearing makeup for performances when I was in elementary school. You know what I learned from the experience? That's it's a special occasion thing and a huge pain to put on and take off so definitely not something I'd want to do every day. I didn't start wearing makeup regularly until I was a grown up with a job and trying to look older (I've always looked really young for my age). My daughter takes ballet and wears makeup for recitals even though she's only 5. Again, she thinks it's fun, but also knows that it's not practical for play because it gets everywhere. I don't think there's any harm in playing with makeup - in fact it may take some of the mystery out of it and make it seem less enticing. But if my daughter wanted to start wearing it all the time we'd definitely have a conversation about natural beauty and such like things.0
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justcat206 wrote: »I grew up on the stage and started wearing makeup for performances when I was in elementary school.
My son is in dance and has been since he was 9. Same with all the girls he is around. The girls all dress up and wear make up. This is the norm up through girls that are in high school.
Like most things anymore, I think (American media especially) has over-hyped sexuality to the point I don't even feel comfortable telling my niece she looks "pretty" because people around just see a forty year old man complimenting a young girl and think everything is sexually charged.
Seriously...make-up is not the issue, imho.
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justcat206 wrote: »I grew up on the stage and started wearing makeup for performances when I was in elementary school. You know what I learned from the experience? That's it's a special occasion thing and a huge pain to put on and take off so definitely not something I'd want to do every day. I didn't start wearing makeup regularly until I was a grown up with a job and trying to look older (I've always looked really young for my age). My daughter takes ballet and wears makeup for recitals even though she's only 5. Again, she thinks it's fun, but also knows that it's not practical for play because it gets everywhere. I don't think there's any harm in playing with makeup - in fact it may take some of the mystery out of it and make it seem less enticing. But if my daughter wanted to start wearing it all the time we'd definitely have a conversation about natural beauty and such like things.
This! I feel like anytime we force kids not to do something, it makes them want to rebel even more as soon as they get a bit of freedom. I mean that in a blanket statement kind of way because this isn't the case for ALL kids or ALL situations but I used to work with a lady that had 4 kids, all under 10 years old. She said they all cussed like sailors at home but knew it wasn't appropriate outside of the safety of their 4 walls. I personally would not tolerate my 9 year old dropping F bombs but her reasoning was that it takes the mystery and excitement out of it and the older they got, the more she realized they were cutting back because they felt they were useless words and found better ways of expressing themselves.
Like I said, this particular situation IS NOT something I'm comfortable with but I agree with her theory. Anytime your kids want to do something "bad", its better they come to you or at least feel comfortable coming to the parents and talking about it. At that point you can (continue to ) guide them in the right direction of your personal philosophy. I can say that every friend I had that was locked down and had super judgmental/uptight parents went absolutely crazy in college with that first taste of freedom and that's not something I want from my girls. I'd much rather they make their mistakes under my supervision because lets be real, they're GOING to make bad decisions at some point or another.0 -
LiftAndBalance wrote: »furioushummingbird wrote: »Let me rephrase the question:
Do you think it's inappropriate for a woman to wear makeup? Would you allow a woman to walk in public with pink lip gloss or is that asking for a sexual predator to abduct them? Do you think all women that wear makeup are insecure and self conscious?
Something rubs me the wrong way about the mentality that makeup= sexualized. It's paint for your face. Why does it effect other people and their lives so much?
Makeup IS sexualized. Makeup like lipstick and lip gloss are meant to mimic the way a woman's lips will turn redder as she is sexually turned on. The same goes for cheeks and the use of blush. These are clear signs of arousal and the original purpose of makeup was to reproduce that look in order to increase the woman's attractiveness. Do we think of this when we put make up on? Probably not. But, do men respond to the reddened lips and cheeks? Yes, it's our inner primitive instincts.
I don't think it is the sole reason that a pedophile or rapist would go after a woman but it certainly doesn't discourage it. I personally don't wear make up for the main reason that it's unnecessary and ends up clogging pores, irritating my eyes, etc. Most young girls who wear foundation end up wearing more to cover up the zits that are already popping up due to their changing hormones. Let kids be kids. If they're pre-puberty, a definite no for me. If they're teens, I'm okay but I would discourage it and encourage them to find their own sense of beauty without it.As to the pedophile part, I've been around many...I don't feel like it is a prerequisite for them to act, but like another poster above said, it definitely isn't a deterrant either.
Would you teach that your daughters? Don't wear make-up, don't wear short skirts, don't look pretty or you'll encourage being raped? Really? And here I was thinking our society had moved past victim blaming.
What exactly should little girls (and boys) and grown-up women (and men) do to deter paedophiles and rapists?...
So help me out here, what should I wear to discourage the primitive caveman who simply cannot help himself from attacking a pretty looking woman from choosing me as his target? A burqa? Thanks for your help
You, I like!
I've been around a lot of this activity so I'm speaking from my own experiences and gathering the lessons from that and educating my daughter. I do feel like makeup does sexualize and on a little girl it would make her look more mature and send the wrong message. I'm definitely not victim blaming nor am I saying that I would tell my daughter not to look pretty - she doesn't have to try to look beautiful - she already is. I wouldn't allow her to wear short skirts anyway because in my opinion it is not classy...it's trashy. Plus she is 5.5 years old. When she is a teenager and IF she begins dressing differently or wearing makeup in a very flashy manner, I would have a conversation with her of why she is behaving so and determine if there is a void where she feels she needs to have attention and get to the root of the behavior.
I teach my daughter self-defense and she takes boxing, along with other sports. She has a mean hook - of course you can't guarantee anything, but it's better to have some sort of defense against the a-holes of the world, including rapists, pedophiles, and bullies. I also teach my daughter the appropriate words for the female and male anatomy and that no one is supposed to touch her inappropriately. God forbid anything happens, to run away and scream - just make as much noise as possible to draw attention to get someone to help and of course to let her father and me to know. I also let her know that "bad people" are not only strangers, they can be people she knows as well. Besides school, her surroundings are closely monitored even around family gatherings.
So, you can form your opinion and interpret what I said as you deem fit. However, we're all entitled to our own opinions and raise our children differently.0
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