No Moral Support From Family or Friends

That is why I use this site! I have an ex who was very negative to me, but my family (husband and 2 stepkids now) are better. I get a little resistance but I have stood my ground and they came around. Not that I don't still hear a complaint once in a while. Stay strong! Your weight is something you control! Taking control of your health is very empowering, just keep working on it.

Just be proud of yourself. You're doing what's right for you. Give yourself an inner loving hug for how good you are being to you.

I learned a long time ago that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. If the horse doesn't drink, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't.

When I started, I took praise and the positive where I could get it. Coworkers, friends, my kids... but I found a lot of people were self conscious about their own weight, these were the ones you'd never hear anything good from. Family sometimes is too caught up in their own insecurities to be positive about something they themselves feel that they can't do.

You are in a good place at MFP. We are all supportive here, and while we may not be family, we understand.

Good luck with your journey, please feel free to add me as a friend.

i am an emotional eater also and nearly two weeks ago made changes for ME. Just as you are doing changes for YOU this is all that matters. Focus on YOU and don't think about what others say. There will always be discouragers whether blood related or not. When YOU start seeing the results, it will mentally and spiritually uplift you and soon you will wake up one day and be able to kill doubters with kindness and keep it moving.

try to push the negative away and listen to those who give you the support you need. its your time to blossom and dont let anyone discourage you. i know its hard but you deserve to feel better about yourself. remember you have friends on mfp that believe in you and know you can do it. keep your chin up!!!!! great job on your weight loss and changing your cooking habits. i keep looking towards my goal that is what keeps me motivated.

Hang in there hon!!
I know where you are coming from....No support from my family either. They are either jealous or jealous, lol.
Keep up the good work!! You know what is right for you, and making healthy changes for now will affect your future. You can do it. I am proud of you!
Good luck,have fun, stay healthy
(You may add me if you like)
hugs and smiles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In my experience they will never change! But that doesn't mean they can change you! On,y you need to know what you are putting in your mouth. I wouldn't even bring it up and if they start ...tell them it's a very personal issue and would prefer not to discuss it! Remember take it slow and enjoy all the good ways you are feeling!

Most of all surround yourself with people who truly support you!! That would be us!!!

Friend me if you like!

Ditto to what everyone else has said. You are doing this for YOU, no them. You have gotten off to a great start, hang in there,ignore the jerks and nay-sayers. When they see how great you are doing, they may join you, but don't get discouraged if they don't (or do and claim it's their idea) It's time to be "selfish" and put yourself first! We're all here for you, even if your other family isn't.

That is why I use this site! I have an ex who was very negative to me, but my family (husband and 2 stepkids now) are better. I get a little resistance but I have stood my ground and they came around. Not that I don't still hear a complaint once in a while. Stay strong! Your weight is something you control! Taking control of your health is very empowering, just keep working on it.

You've done great so far! 17 pounds is something to be VERY proud of! Your family is your family and I wonder if everyone is more comfortable with THEMSELVES when you were "one of them". Now you are addressing your own health and fitness issues and I imagine they are not and that makes them uncomfortable as you are rocking the boat. It is threatening to them as it forces them to examine their own bad habits.

As for your friends, you say they are skinny but don't support you. Makes me wonder if they really are friends. You may find that you are growing and that these friends don't fit into your plan anymore.

That is what is so great about this site, too. Nothing (usually!) except support! Know you are doing exactly what you need to do for YOU! It often makes people uncomfortable when someone steps out of "their place" and changes the program. If your family asks how much you gain, who cares? It doesn't matter what you say, if you say you gained a pound every day there is no denying that you clothes are getting baggy.

I am sorry that you are not gettig the support that you need from the people you love, but sometimes it is a lonely game here. We do have each other and come here for support and affirmations!

I love what people are saying and want to emphasize that you do have to lower your expectations of family. It took me a long time to realize that not everyone has a fabulous sister or brother or mother or father to support them. It seems so obvious, but it's not. It seems like your family is not only contributing to your underlying emotional hunger (I am SO vulnerable to this too), but also that they are openly trying to sabotage you. Maybe they are even jealous of your courage and resolve and also the joy in you that makes you want to be healthy. Can you look for other "family" to adopt? This forum is a start. IT's what I'm trying to do for sure...

The best advice I ever received was this, "Learn to accept the limitations and preferences of others."

It applies in so many facets of life. I think this situation that you describe is a perfect occasion to use this advice. This is not about THEM. This is about YOU. Your choice to live a healthier lifestyle is just that... Your choice. It is not really up to anyone else to be supportive, though it certainly would be nice. How you proceed is also your choice. You can choose to focus on the lack of support from those closest to you, or you can stay on the path that is best for you.

Emotional eating is just a bad habit that many of us fell into at some point in our lives. Replace it with a better habit. Walking, yoga, meditating, whatever. As long as it is healthy for you. This is your life. You can choose to expect more out of people then what they are prepared to offer. Or, you can live the life that is best for you.

Just some advice on what is working for me in terms of preparing meals for myself an others who are not following my lifestyle... I shop for foods that they will eat ie. lean meats, fresh fruits and vegetables, and I modify how I prepare them for me. If they want butter on their broccoli, they can put it on. If they want pasta, I make it for them and I skip it and just double up on veggies or salad. The reality is, I see this as a lifestyle change and I have to learn to live in a world where everyone else is not living the same way I am.

Good luck!
Michelle

Changing your life is a very difficult road to take, so of course it's always a blessing to have the ones you love the most back you up and support you on your journey.

But when they scoff at you, criticize you for "ruining meals" because they're less caloric or a little more nutritional, roll their eyes at you when you try to portion out proper serving sizes, humiliate you for working out...... or even when I try to encourage my parents to try these new recipes that are low-glycemic for my dad's diabetes, I get ridiculed for trying to help.

If they don't want to change their lifestyles, that's fine. I'm not forcing it onto them when I haven't even gotten myself in a sound enough mindset to really help myself. But just a little support would be wonderful..

Instead of being asked, "How much have you lost?" I get "How much did you gain today?" I have enough issues being an emotional eater - I'm thin skinned enough as it is about my self image, these little remarks don't help my self-control from running to the fridge.

I have friends around me, but not ones that quite get what I'm doing; they've always been thin, never had the need to be athletic, and at the same time, criticize me when I start to count out my calories and measure my portions because that's something they've never even had to do.

After a while, it all gets to me.


What do you do?

I have the same situation. Well, I ignore them. I don't do this for them , I am doing this for me . I am disapointed , of course , but really I don't care anymore. I have to admit , sometimes I am sarcastic but they still don't get it
Don\t let them put you down . Fight for yoursef!