My personal trainer dilemma

bigdawg025
bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
edited September 27 in Food and Nutrition
So... I didn't know exactly where to post this, but nutrition seemed appropriate. I have an issue with the plan my new trainer laid out for me, and I will tell you why...

1. This is MY program... tailored to MY own personal goals... not the goals of the guy I just paid $55 a session to train me!!! I said I would be happy reaching my goal weight in 6 months to a year... he said, "Oh, no that's way too long. I'm going to set it at 3 months... 3 months to lose 30 pounds!!!! Are you kidding me???" I'm not in a hurry here... nor am I interested in being the biggest loser. Those aren't MY personal goals.

2. He set me up with a very strict diet... basically told me to throw out all my cereal... no beer... I could go on and on... I have a list of foods I'm "allowed" to eat. That again... is not a goal of mine. I happen to enjoy a few beers... the occasional ice cream... wings on Fridays... etc. That's MY choice. I never once said I wanted to eat a 1500-1800 calorie diet. (That's a 1000 calorie a day deficit, which is ridiculous.)

3. This is the kicker... I was coerced... ok... more like convinced... after all I did make this decision on my own... into buying $77 worth of dot fit products. 2 boxes of very expensive protein bars, which is a shame (2.50 and 2.66 a bar is OUTRAGEOUS) because they are really tasty. And... a bottle each of multivitamins and calcium supplements that I could probably get at Walgreens for half the price.

So... how did I go from being someone with simply having a goal of adding some weights into my daily/weekly routine... keeping in mind... I am already doing Bodypump class twice a week... to basically becoming a body builder and losing extremely quick amounts of weight??? That's not who I've ever been... and I have NEVER believed in or desired to eat a strict diet and deprive myself of all the foods I enjoy (except for ONE cheat MEAL per week... YAY!!! Which he says to keep down to 800 calories... ummmm... EXCUSE ME!!! I had that for dinner just be eating 2 lean burgers on whole wheat buns with a slice of cheese on each. That to me was NOT a cheat meal.

Now... the real question is... how do I go about putting my trainer in his place and telling him that we're going to revamp this program so that it's more tailored toward me and my own fitness/weight loss goals???
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Replies

  • rharris86dc
    rharris86dc Posts: 635 Member
    Personally, I would just be honest with the trainer and tell him the issues you have with what he has set up for you. Tell him this is your life, your body, and your program, and you want to do it on your terms. Tell him that while it is awesome that he thinks you have the potential to get to your goal in 3 months, that just isn't your timeframe. Slow and steady wins the race.

    I would be thinking, very loudly in my head, "Hey *kitten*, I'm paying you to help me. NOT to make my life miserable for 3 months."

    And then I would probably find another trainer.

    But I'm interested in what others have to say, so I'll be keeping an eye on here, lol.
  • registers
    registers Posts: 782 Member
    I am more of a blunt person. So this may not before you... You have to tell him directly. Something such as, "I told you what my goals, by when I want to achieve my goal. I think you're pushing me to fast, The point is to keep this a life style not a crash course." IF that doesn't budge him, say something along the lines of. "Let me remind you, I am the one paying you, I am telling you what I want. The one who is paying is the one who makes the calls, not the employee's"
  • alliecore
    alliecore Posts: 446 Member
    As an aspiring personal trainer, I am outraged at every aspect of this story. One of the most basic aspects of being a PT is the "PERSONAL" part. Where you listen to the client, and really HEAR what they are saying. Listen to THIER goals. Then design a program that is custom-made to suit the exact needs and wishes of the individual.

    It sounds to me like that trainer needs to find a new career. I hate to be judgemental here, but you were treated with such disrespect. You have every right to be angry and dissatisfied. Actions like you described give all trainers a bad name. You deserved to be respected, and to have your goals and desired validated. I'm truly sorry that you had such a bad experience. I promise, not every trainer is like that!:flowerforyou:
  • courtneyweiss
    courtneyweiss Posts: 59
    Sounds like this trainer doesn't listen. Plain and simple. He's not going to have much success in his business if he doesn't listen to his clients and set realistic, attainable goals. Sounds like you just have to be honest with him. And if he's too hardcore about it, dump him. It may be a tough break-up, but in the end you need to be happy, right? :drinker:

    PS: I love my beer, too!
  • annastacia10
    annastacia10 Posts: 106
    I would say either have an honest sit down with your trainer or find another one. No one should set their weight loss goals at higher than 2 pounds per week. In accounting, which is what I do, a month is pre-set at 4.33 weeks (because there are some variances in there for months with longer weeks or shorter weeks per month, Feb. for example). So just going by this formula if you were to go hard core at weight loss you would lose 24 pounds in 3 months at 2 pounds per week.. I really think a more realistic goal is .75-1.4 per week for weight loss. You will be more likely to keep the weight loss you have achieved off and still have a life you can enjoy. Whatever you decide good luck in achieving your goals!
  • catniss
    catniss Posts: 326 Member
    Maybe you could copy exactly what you just wrote, hand it to the trainer, tell him you'd like to discuss it, give him a couple of minutes and then ask to start again from the beginning. I would also ask to return the items. Lastly, if he still doesn't/can't listen to you, ask for your money back and find another one. Good luck.
  • Katie320
    Katie320 Posts: 61 Member
    I agree that you need to speak up. Your money and time is not being put to good use. Maybe you could tell him that you really thought and reflected on what he said/suggested and have decided that it will not fit into your life style. Therefore the two of you need to go over the plan and make some adjustments. If he tries to convince you otherwise, find another trainer. He will not be effective for you. If finding another trainer is not possible go over his head and talk to his supervisor. I also find it somewhat disconcerting that he convinced you to buy products. Ask if you can return them, or at least make clear that in the future you will not be purchasing more.

    No matter what, stand your ground.
  • Celo24
    Celo24 Posts: 566 Member
    Now... the real question is... how do I go about putting my trainer in his place and telling him that we're going to revamp this program so that it's more tailored toward me and my own fitness/weight loss goals???

    You fire the *kitten* and find someone who will listen to you and help you achieve YOUR goals.
  • NavyWifeag
    NavyWifeag Posts: 36 Member
    Tell him what you want. Why did you hire him and what did you expect to get from hiring him? If you hired him to push you during a workout and teach you new exercises then that's what he needs to do. You hired a trainer, not a nutritionist. Return your protein bars and supplements or sell them on Ebay. Tell him what you want. If he doesn't listen tell him it's not going to work. Fitness and nutrition should be livable for you. Some people may love his plan, but you do not. If you don't like the plan you won't stick to it and you won't see change. It's as simple as that. Personally, I'd be looking for a new trainer, someone who doesn't try to push you into his plan so he can sell you crap.
  • CatseyeHardcast
    CatseyeHardcast Posts: 224 Member
    You don't need a PT, not one with that attitude anyway. Save your money. There is plenty of support and advice in this and many other similar communities around.
  • alliecore
    alliecore Posts: 446 Member
    Now... the real question is... how do I go about putting my trainer in his place and telling him that we're going to revamp this program so that it's more tailored toward me and my own fitness/weight loss goals???

    You fire the *kitten* and find someone who will listen to you and help you achieve YOUR goals.
    That too!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    Way to say it straight, "Mr. Popularity"! :tongue:
  • Thexplodingirl
    Thexplodingirl Posts: 80
    Best yet, print out this thread, hand it to him, and tell him you'd like to discuss your options with him when he's finished reading it.
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
    I'd almost guess he's getting kickbacks from all that stuff you bought. I'd simply say, "listen to what I want or I'm finding someone else." Truthfully, he doesn't even deserve that much.
  • sugarbeans
    sugarbeans Posts: 676 Member
    I agree you will most likely have to sit him down and tell him how upset this has made you feel. Let him know that exactly and tell him that if he doesn't help you the way that you would like then you will find someone else. After all YOU are his BOSS and your work hard for your money. Inform him you are looking for something that will suit your lifestyle not a quick fix.

    I have had both negative and positive experiences with trainers one I had to let go because they simply would not listen and it came to a point where I just stopped going all together so that I wouldn't have to deal with it. That lasted a week and then I woke up and said this isn't right talked to them about how I felt and they said we weren't a right fit and I was transfered to someone else.. My new trainer was amazing and we still keep in touch even though we haven't worked together in a while. (too expensive=( )

    I'm sorry you had such a rough experience.
  • Celo24
    Celo24 Posts: 566 Member
    Now... the real question is... how do I go about putting my trainer in his place and telling him that we're going to revamp this program so that it's more tailored toward me and my own fitness/weight loss goals???

    You fire the *kitten* and find someone who will listen to you and help you achieve YOUR goals.
    That too!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    Way to say it straight, "Mr. Popularity"! :tongue:

    Lol. That's what I do. :drinker:
  • Pandorian
    Pandorian Posts: 2,055 Member
    I'm not keen on the trainers that's for sure, I have only used one of my two complimentary sessions with a trainer because 1) he wanted me to sign up on the spot for a 6 month plan with a trainer while I was still even trying out the fit for the gym, which I had signed up for. 2) he wanted me on products, I don't DO supplements or pills, it takes a LOT for me to take something for a headache, when I go for one you know it's a pesky one (whey protein and bran fiber etc I consider as something else)
    3) he took me from what he knew was essentially entirely inactive and had me do 150 squats, I didn't walk for about a week after that.
    4) just his attitude rubbed me wrong, oh I'm X weight, you should get yours down in this time frame yada yada. My weight loss will take the time it takes, doing it on MFP has me down 30 lbs in 4 months, not too shabby considering I'd gone up 15 lbs in the last 2 years, so I'm reversing the trend a lot faster.

    I still haven't gone back for my second session, and, really I haven't been to the gym itself in a month (new job and I haven't figured out how to have the life I want and have time for gym and visiting friends around work as yet)

    But if you're paying the trainer they should certainly be listening to you for setting your goals and all. Yes I expect me to be listening to them for workouts, they're the ones "trained" in it but when it comes to laying out goals and time-frames...
  • mere282
    mere282 Posts: 3
    i diagree with that comment... a trainer can be a important part of making a complete lifestyle change...You have to find the right one..Thats the hard part...Look for a trainer that motaviting,well educated,pateint...and who truley lisens to you!!!
  • Noctuary
    Noctuary Posts: 255
    I suggest that whatever you decide to do...you take care of the problem before you decide to get another trainer. That problem, being you. You've learned a lesson and now the next time you will know better. I'm sorry if I am being blunt. But no one and I mean NO ONE can make me part with that much money without my consent. No way! Tell him you have changed your mind.
  • Russellb97
    Russellb97 Posts: 1,057 Member
    I'm a trainer and nutrition coach.
    I had a similar issue today, my client wanted to follow my diet plan which means she eats low-carb during the day and more at night.
    She tried for a day and says she can't do it, but instead of making her feel low. I told her the honest truth, if she stays within her calorie goals she will lose weight. Sure she will lose more body-fat my way, but the main point is the calorie goal, and if that is within range she will be just fine.
    if it can't work for you then it simply can't. Don't try and fit a round peg in a square hole, work with what you can do. What's the point of trying to lose weight in a way that you won't maintain as a lifestyle, because sooner or later the weight will come back. If you or my client are already saying you can't, than you won't. You need to be upfront with your trainer about your ideas, you know your body better than they do. Yes they will give you great advice, but ultimately it comes down to you. So a plan needs to be in place that you feel comfortable with. Does that make sense?
  • ivyjbres
    ivyjbres Posts: 612 Member
    Now... the real question is... how do I go about putting my trainer in his place and telling him that we're going to revamp this program so that it's more tailored toward me and my own fitness/weight loss goals???

    Fire him, and the the *kitten* on EBay!

    You've got the checkbook, you're in charge, he doesn't like, he can pack it up...
  • gameovergt
    gameovergt Posts: 502
    good luck
  • TrainingWithTonya
    TrainingWithTonya Posts: 1,741 Member
    FIRE HIM! And here's why....

    1. Personal Trainers CANNOT legally give nutrition advise without a specialty certification in nutrition or a license as a registered dietitian. If he had either of those, then he wouldn't be giving you a drastic meal plan because we're taught better then that in a reputable program.

    2. He is "prescribing" his plan because he doesn't know any other plan. Unfortunately, there isn't a national regulation on the requirements to be called a personal trainer (other then they can't use the initials PT after their name because that is reserved for Physical Therapists), so any Joe Blow off the street can call themselves a personal trainer even without a certification or with a bare bones minimum certification. Unfortunately, those are the guys who think that what they do for themselves will work for everyone but in actuality they likely look in shape because of good genetics not a great program. NO PROGRAM WORKS FOR EVERYONE but this type of trainer tends to act like they have the magic secret that works 100% of the time.

    3. His job is to listen to you and give you the service you are paying for. He should never prescribe a program that doesn't focus on your goals. If he can't do that, then he needs to be in a different business.

    4. That's more then a 2 pound per week loss. Anyone with any kind of an education in the fitness and nutrition realm knows better then to recommend that much of a loss. Losing that much that fast sets a person up for a rebound weight gain when they go back to normal eating.

    5. Drastic diets that cut out ANY food sets the client up for failure, or at least the feeling of failure. They will either feel so guilty when they splurge once in a while and quit, or they will go off the plan after the 3 months and have a rebound weight gain from eating normally again. Healthy eating is a lifelong process. Diets don't work. It has to be a lifestyle change. And lifestyle changes mean things you can live with for a lifetime. If you like a certain food, then you have to be able to include it in your eating so you can see results without perceiving failure for eating it. Anyone who has a nutrition education knows this.

    6. He's selling you on supplements. Sorry, but that is a major red flag. He's more focused on making money then actually helping you.. Don't walk away from this guy, RUN yelling and screaming the whole way.

    7. This is more a personal reason for me then for your needs, but as a trainer it appalls me that these guys still get to be in the business. They won't ever get an actual education in fitness or nutrition if they are allowed to keep behaving this way because the general public doesn't know that they are idiots. Maybe if the general public learns to fire them for poor performance, then they will straighten up and quit making the rest of us look like uneducated goofs.
  • maureak
    maureak Posts: 107 Member
    Kudos to you for speaking up! And for recognizing that what you were given may not work for you. I agree with the other posts - you have to tell your trainer this is not a fit for you. He/she should be professional enough to work with you to change the program so that it's something you can follow and be successful.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    I can tell you that all trainers are one thing before anything else.. Salespeople! When I first signed up with my trainer, I had signed on for three sessions to make sure I liked the guy and all I got was well you need to talk to this person and we need to sign you up for more sessions! You only have 2 left! Eventually I went look, If you didn't pressure me so much into signing up for more sessions, maybe I'd actually do it. That shut him up real quick.. and what happened? I signed up for more sessions cause he started focusing more on my workout then me signing up again.

    Try talking it out with this trainer and if your not happy then go and find someone else. At my gym, the personal training sessions are yours and if your not happy at anytime, I just go and talk to the manager and I'll be set up with someone else.
  • End6ame
    End6ame Posts: 903
    FIRE HIM! And here's why....

    1. Personal Trainers CANNOT legally give nutrition advise without a specialty certification in nutrition or a license as a registered dietitian. If he had either of those, then he wouldn't be giving you a drastic meal plan because we're taught better then that in a reputable program.

    This is exactly what I was going to say. They can make recommendations like "I have seen X work well in some of my clients" but prescribing a meal plan is over the line.

    Give him the boot. Personally I don't like personal trainers because I have seen too many bad ones. Now, I am not saying they are all bad, it is just that there is nothing one of them can tell me that I can’t research and come up with on my own. Plus you learn more that way rather than just doing something because you are told to.
  • 1113cw
    1113cw Posts: 830 Member
    I agree with the other posts.
    I think the best approach would be to just be very direct and specific with him and tell him what YOUR goals are and that is what you want to work toward. If he's adamant or wont' revise his plan for you, I'd find another trainer. If he's not listening to you in the beginning and off on his own tangent, it probably won't get any better in the long run. In my opinion, your trainer should be someone you respect and feed off of, motivates you and helps you obtain what you want. Not someone that you dread interfacing with. I'd also see if you could return the products you bought and get your money back. Don't feel bad, I cave to sales pitch pressures too!
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    I'm not keen on the trainers that's for sure, I have only used one of my two complimentary sessions with a trainer because 1) he wanted me to sign up on the spot for a 6 month plan with a trainer while I was still even trying out the fit for the gym, which I had signed up for. 2) he wanted me on products, I don't DO supplements or pills, it takes a LOT for me to take something for a headache, when I go for one you know it's a pesky one (whey protein and bran fiber etc I consider as something else)

    Yes... this stuff is almost EXACTLY what I've gone through in my first session, which by the way, didn't count as a session out of my 5. Who the hell even tries let alone actually loses 12% body fat in 3 months???? I mean seriously here... I'm an active person, and I know from past experience that 1-2% MAX is what's expected in one month... 4% a month is ridiculous!
  • Russellb97
    Russellb97 Posts: 1,057 Member
    I think it's great to have a personal trainer with both personal and professional experience. It's hard finding the right one, and we aren't cheap so you don't want to pick wrong. If you do pick wrong, switch asap and don't waste your money.
  • BobL436
    BobL436 Posts: 43 Member
    FIRE HIM! And here's why....

    1. Personal Trainers CANNOT legally give nutrition advise without a specialty certification in nutrition or a license as a registered dietitian. If he had either of those, then he wouldn't be giving you a drastic meal plan because we're taught better then that in a reputable program.

    2. He is "prescribing" his plan because he doesn't know any other plan. Unfortunately, there isn't a national regulation on the requirements to be called a personal trainer (other then they can't use the initials PT after their name because that is reserved for Physical Therapists), so any Joe Blow off the street can call themselves a personal trainer even without a certification or with a bare bones minimum certification. Unfortunately, those are the guys who think that what they do for themselves will work for everyone but in actuality they likely look in shape because of good genetics not a great program. NO PROGRAM WORKS FOR EVERYONE but this type of trainer tends to act like they have the magic secret that works 100% of the time.

    3. His job is to listen to you and give you the service you are paying for. He should never prescribe a program that doesn't focus on your goals. If he can't do that, then he needs to be in a different business.

    4. That's more then a 2 pound per week loss. Anyone with any kind of an education in the fitness and nutrition realm knows better then to recommend that much of a loss. Losing that much that fast sets a person up for a rebound weight gain when they go back to normal eating.

    5. Drastic diets that cut out ANY food sets the client up for failure, or at least the feeling of failure. They will either feel so guilty when they splurge once in a while and quit, or they will go off the plan after the 3 months and have a rebound weight gain from eating normally again. Healthy eating is a lifelong process. Diets don't work. It has to be a lifestyle change. And lifestyle changes mean things you can live with for a lifetime. If you like a certain food, then you have to be able to include it in your eating so you can see results without perceiving failure for eating it. Anyone who has a nutrition education knows this.

    6. He's selling you on supplements. Sorry, but that is a major red flag. He's more focused on making money then actually helping you.. Don't walk away from this guy, RUN yelling and screaming the whole way.

    7. This is more a personal reason for me then for your needs, but as a trainer it appalls me that these guys still get to be in the business. They won't ever get an actual education in fitness or nutrition if they are allowed to keep behaving this way because the general public doesn't know that they are idiots. Maybe if the general public learns to fire them for poor performance, then they will straighten up and quit making the rest of us look like uneducated goofs.

    Pefectly said! I am currently aspiring to be a certfied NASM CPT, and this is right on point. No trainer should be suggesting dietary planning and supplements unless they are also certified in nutrition as a registered dietician!!!
  • robintellez
    robintellez Posts: 7
    Are you in Las Vegas? I had almost the EXACT same experience last year with a guy who didn't believe he needed to listen to me. I'm obviously not w/him anymore. I think everyone here has it right; print out what you posted and have your trainer read it. When he is done, ask him to explain to you what is wrong with that picture. Ultimately, if he isn't willing to work with you and respect your wishes, you need to find another trainer. I would also suggest having a conversation with his boss; he should know his trainers are behaving this badly. And maybe the boss can get you a refund on the product you purchased. Good luck!
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