loving yourself not the number on the scale. What I learned through my 90lb loss.

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Replies

  • KimofTas
    KimofTas Posts: 48 Member
    Jenepher,

    I agree and I'm so glad to hear someone else talk about this. I've tried explaining this to my husband before but he thinks I'm mad.

    I've never liked the idea of being "more acceptable" and being treated differently just because of my size. I've been both skinny and obese (currently obese and working on it). At skinny level I did get attention but until I was big I didn't notice how size changes people's perceptions and you become more invisible ... or worse. Frankly, I'm introverted and I prefer NOT to be the centre of anyone's attention but noticing the difference in treatment annoys the stubborn part of me ;)

    Part of me revolts inside about losing weight and how people will say the things you've talked about or "congratulate" me on losing weight. Part of me thinks that I should just stay as is because I am 'me' regardless of my size and I'd like to be appreciated for being myself.

    Because I know that, for a lot of people, losing weight is about changing how you look not changing how healthy you are - if they're completely honest.

    Anyhow, so glad I read your post :)





  • Mermaid_s
    Mermaid_s Posts: 27 Member
    I really see so much of myself in you and I haven't even got to the 'after' part yet. You have made a tremendous accomplishment, and I'm not talking about weight...but more, you understand that you have difficulties and you aren't perfect. What is most important, more than weight, is being comfortable with your own skin. I'm struggling to do that as well but I have no doubt that we can do it.
  • taymam
    taymam Posts: 55 Member
    I can relate, I dread seeing certain people in my life because of the well meaning but hurtful *kitten* that comes out of their traps. "I see your taking care of yourself now" "you look great, in fact, my friend was mentioning that you look more like me (says my mother)" do these people even hear themselves talk. You look great and I hope someday you can learn to love your body. It may help to seek counselling. I did before my weight loss journey, it really helped me discover why I was overweight in the first place and forgive myself and whoever else I was blaming for my issues.
  • Jenepher1202
    Jenepher1202 Posts: 27 Member
    Thank you everybody for all the encouraging comments! I debated posting this to the Success Stories category, just because it was more about some of the the things I struggle with vs just posting a happy story about how many pounds I lost. I decided to post because before I started my journey I read tons of success stories, and never read anything about how I was feeling. One can only wonder if I would have been more mentally prepared if somebody would have told me I may feel like this. When I first started feeling these feelings I didn't want to say anything because I thought something must be wrong with me, and I was alone in feeling like this.
    Reading everybody's responses, it's comforting to know I am not alone. I hope that each one of us get to a point in loving oursleves, whatever size that may be. I am on the road.. I am making choices to change the things I can change but at the same time teaching myself that my body is great! It's great because it does what I ask it to, because it gives me the strength to work, play with my kids, and many other things. Our bodies are amazing in what they do. :)
  • RedArmy1918
    RedArmy1918 Posts: 55 Member
    edited May 2015
    I've found that when I'm trying to love my body it helps me to step back and think about all the amazing things it can do.

    But when I'm in front of a mirror and I start picking things apart, it helps to talk to myself like I would talk to a friend. We usually refer to our friends with care so I try to talk to myself that way.

    However, you might want to talk to a therapist to help you put things in perspective. I've found therapy incredibly helpful for many areas in my life.

    Best,
    -H
  • subversive99
    subversive99 Posts: 273 Member
    hectoragredano wrote: »
    when I'm in front of a mirror and I start picking things apart, it helps to talk to myself like I would talk to a friend. We usually refer to our friends with care so I try to talk to myself that way.

    I really like this advice. Thanks.

  • michellesz
    michellesz Posts: 429 Member
    Wow ~ almost the same story here. 235 to 152 and experienced many of the similar feelings. Not perfect then nor am I perfect now or may ever be for that matter. Proud that I accomplished some much & working on strength and health in maintaining more than a number. You appear to be an inspiration to many & look amazing; girl! Be proud and keep up the wonderful healthy journey that you are on!
  • imogen__may
    imogen__may Posts: 78 Member
    It's a really hard lesson to learn isn't it? Feels really physical. But it's an important lesson, one that brings true value to your life. You've done so well to reach your goal, I hope you can enjoy it x
  • bug1114
    bug1114 Posts: 268 Member
    LAMCDylan wrote: »
    First of all, you are gorgeous. I know the mental part can be hard. I struggle with it sometimes too, just as you explain. But I also see how I physically look as only a part of me. Who I am internally; all my beliefs, values, personality, spirituality etc, all make up other parts of me and are equally important. You gotta find balance between body, mind, and soul. I think as a person I am interesting, funny, caring and all that. I prefer people to know and like me for those things rather than my physical appearance or what possessions I have. Try to see exercise and dieting as a way to be more active and physically strong. The physical "attractiveness" is only a consequence of that lifestyle. So many people get into healthy living for vain reasons and therefore it screws with them mentally. The only person you need to impress is yourself. You have to define your own value and worth in life. You have to be one of those people who is happy with yourself on the inside and therefore do not need to compete with others. Life isn't perfect and people aren't perfect, and this is all perfectly fine. Learn to accept this.

    ^^^This X 1000! I am still working on this type of mindset, but this is really what we should aim for.

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