Yes or No : would you be pissed

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2

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  • Melissa90xo
    Melissa90xo Posts: 1,020 Member
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    Yes. Off with their heads!
  • BrendanDunn
    BrendanDunn Posts: 3,225 Member
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    Going crazy!!!
  • fliesdonotbelong
    fliesdonotbelong Posts: 109 Member
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    I didn't care when I found out about my ex and a similar situation... we were doomed anyways lol.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    RedRockChic wrote: »
    So out of curiousity... what brought it up at 425 am? Or really I guess my question would be what happened last night to generate this disclosure? Obviously he (the friend) hasn't figured it out on his own in 10 yrs, so there must have been something said or something that happened that caused this conversation to occur.

    this is what i was wondering. why would she tell him now? were they fighting and she said this to hurt him?

    it's a complex question, because while it was 10 years ago, it's just a few hours ago to him. and he'll have to ultimately come to the realization that it was a long time ago, and whether or not that matters. And what was the context of the cheating? was it with a co-worker or someone she hangs out with to this day? or some random person, and does that matter.

    the STD... what was it, is it treated, is he still at risk, is he getting tested... all that.

    how old was she 10 years ago?

    honestly, i wouldn't be "pissed." i would be terribly disappointed. i would have to do some major thinking about the marriage, and if i could continue in it not only because she cheated and may have given me an STD, but because she lied about it for 10 years and the marriage began in a cloud of deception.

  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,642 Member
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    I'd be livid...sure it's 10 years in the past...but that's no "minor" detail (in most relationship) to not tell someone.

    The not telling is just as bad as the act IMO. I have a list a mile long of stuff that I'd feel guilty about NOT telling my wife before not telling about getting an STD while cheating on her before we got married...
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    999tigger wrote: »
    probably yes, but id go back to sleep if its waited ten years, then it can wait till morning.

    Yup
  • sperkins68
    sperkins68 Posts: 31 Member
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    I'd be pissed with the std part. The cheateing part after that long ya it would hurt but depending on how far into the relationship I was at the time would determin how upsert I'd be at that. And I personally don't believe in the once a cheater always a cheater statement. She probly was afraid of ruining there relationship so kept it a secret and it was probly eating away at her so she finally let it out.
  • Becka4Real
    Becka4Real Posts: 1,527 Member
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    Cheating before you're married, I can let that slide. STD? I would be pissed!!
  • sazziek
    sazziek Posts: 57 Member
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    PISSED, HURT, DEVASTATED. all in caps.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Becka4prez wrote: »
    Cheating before you're married, I can let that slide. STD? I would be pissed!!

    So you be find if you knew about the affair before marriage?

  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    sperkins68 wrote: »
    I'd be pissed with the std part. The cheateing part after that long ya it would hurt but depending on how far into the relationship I was at the time would determin how upsert I'd be at that. And I personally don't believe in the once a cheater always a cheater statement. She probly was afraid of ruining there relationship so kept it a secret and it was probly eating away at her so she finally let it out.

    that's a lot of probablys

    that's why i think how this came out matters. was it a woman who buckled under the weight of 10 years of lying? was it a woman who used this as a weapon in an argument? or maybe the guy she cheated with was threatening to tell her husband so she had to tell him before he could.

    or maybe he found out from someone else. the OP doesn't say the woman even told him.

    are we sure this was the only time? i mean she lied once, what's to stop her from lying more? should he trust her if she says "yes. this was the only time"?
  • Diondk
    Diondk Posts: 159 Member
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    Yes i will be pissed alot, first of all for not telling me directly that she cheated on me and she kept it a secret for 10 freaking years... But i would be more pissed for the STD..
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    wolverine66 wrote: »
    sperkins68 wrote: »
    I'd be pissed with the std part. The cheateing part after that long ya it would hurt but depending on how far into the relationship I was at the time would determin how upsert I'd be at that. And I personally don't believe in the once a cheater always a cheater statement. She probly was afraid of ruining there relationship so kept it a secret and it was probly eating away at her so she finally let it out.

    that's a lot of probablys

    that's why i think how this came out matters. was it a woman who buckled under the weight of 10 years of lying? was it a woman who used this as a weapon in an argument? or maybe the guy she cheated with was threatening to tell her husband so she had to tell him before he could.

    or maybe he found out from someone else. the OP doesn't say the woman even told him.

    are we sure this was the only time? i mean she lied once, what's to stop her from lying more? should he trust her if she says "yes. this was the only time"?

    A lost of trust can be repaired in a relationship but what about in a marriage with that much time from the discretion. I don't tolerate either situation.

  • DirrtyH
    DirrtyH Posts: 664 Member
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    Yes - if someone called me at 4:25 in the morning about something that happened 10 years ago, I'd be pissed.
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,543 Member
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    I'd be pissed that he called at 4:25a too!
  • oberon0124
    oberon0124 Posts: 10,527 Member
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    YES and she would be gone!
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,543 Member
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    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    Becka4prez wrote: »
    Cheating before you're married, I can let that slide. STD? I would be pissed!!

    So you be find if you knew about the affair before marriage?

    Letting it slide and being fine with it are two different things IMO. It would definitely "slide" to the back burner until the STD argument was handled first.
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    Um, who wouldnt?
  • InvaderGashloog
    InvaderGashloog Posts: 76 Member
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    I would be angry. I'm the violently angry type, too. It wouldn't be a good moment for them, maybe their last if I got infected with their disease.
  • PsychoSupport
    PsychoSupport Posts: 25 Member
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    10 years in i would be hurt about the cheating but it was b4 they got married....from that point i would assume it's not the last time it happened...once a cheater and all that

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