Comment from coworker

RuefulRabbit
RuefulRabbit Posts: 42 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm sitting here at my desk this morning, drinking my unsweet tea, and coworker I barely know comes up and says "I never realized how fat you are."

Me: "Pardon me?"
Her: "You don't look nearly as fat when you're standing up."
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I admit to being completely taken aback. How the flarks do I respond to this?
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Replies

  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    Um, wow! That is horrible. I don't think I would address it with her, I think I would address it with your boss and/or HR.
  • Altagracia220
    Altagracia220 Posts: 876 Member
    Holy crap, that is incredibly rude.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    I would say something like "Wow. Thank you for pointing that out. You have no idea how pleasant it is to hear that."
  • BuckyArden33
    BuckyArden33 Posts: 146 Member
    punch to the face should fix it
  • smelius22
    smelius22 Posts: 334 Member
    I would probably say "f*** you, b****."
    But I'm no southern belle ;)
  • jessicapk
    jessicapk Posts: 574 Member
    I would have to respond with, "Wow, I didn't realize what an a**hole you are." Continue drinking tea and enjoying being a decent person.
  • Alidecker
    Alidecker Posts: 1,262 Member
    Wow, just wow.
  • scottacular
    scottacular Posts: 597 Member
    The simple response to that would have been "And I never realised how much of a p**ck you are.", but that moment has gone.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    BuckyArden33 wrote: »
    punch to the face should fix it

    I like this answer, but jessicapk probably has the better answer. Or, you could be a southern belle and just say "that's niiiiice." Next time you'll be ready, but hopefully there won't be a next time. I would actually report that to HR just to be a dick.
  • aSearch4Me
    aSearch4Me Posts: 397 Member
    jessicapk wrote: »
    I would have to respond with, "Wow, I didn't realize what an a**hole you are." Continue drinking tea and enjoying being a decent person.

    THIS, Except said with a very matter-of-fact, disinterested voice. :smile:

    Anyone who would make comments like that has their own serious issues going on, that are totally independent of you. Let it roll, and know you are a better person...
  • moesis
    moesis Posts: 874 Member
    My response would be, "Have you looked in a mirror lately?"
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
    I would say that's odd because the same thing happened to me just now, I never realized how rude and nasty you are. And that is standing up or sitting down.
  • coreyreichle
    coreyreichle Posts: 1,031 Member
    Something along the lines of,"Wow, I just never realized how much of an *kitten* you are! You don't seem like such an *kitten* when you're sitting down at your desk, and not at mine!"
  • Diondk
    Diondk Posts: 159 Member
    Hit him in his face.. the ***Hole
  • SusanKing1981
    SusanKing1981 Posts: 257 Member
    OMG, how unkind!!!
  • jhard728
    jhard728 Posts: 52 Member
    2 words -- Human resources, 2 more words -- Unemployment line. Sounds like a real B!+(# to me, don't address it with her but do tell your human resources department. No need for you to get involved in work drama with shallow people who feel the need to talk horribly about others to try and make themselves feel better.
  • johnnylakis
    johnnylakis Posts: 812 Member
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    Um, wow! That is horrible. I don't think I would address it with her, I think I would address it with your boss and/or HR.
    like

  • killerqueen21
    killerqueen21 Posts: 157 Member
    Wtf? People actually say this kind of stuff to people? Expletives would have ensued.
  • jdelot
    jdelot Posts: 397 Member
    Wow...That's so rude.
    "I'm fat. You're stupid. I can lose weight, but you'll still be stupid."
  • schillewis
    schillewis Posts: 144 Member
    First of all, I'm so sorry that happened to you. It was completely rude, uncalled for and hurtful. As to your coworker, I'd simply say, "That's an incredibly rude comment and I shall be reporting you to Human Resources". Then swagger (don't walk, actually swagger!) to your supervisor or HR directly to log a complaint. No one deserves to be treated so cruelly.
  • Harleyb87
    Harleyb87 Posts: 279 Member
    I would of said I never realized how unpleasant and unprofessional you are. Your much better off when your not opening your mouth
  • Arliah
    Arliah Posts: 266 Member
    moesis wrote: »
    My response would be, "Have you looked in a mirror lately?"
    I like that one! Next time you see her, you may want to give her an inquisitive look, then kind of lightly shake your head and say "You know ... your comment the other day ... at least I can lose weight. I don't think there's gonna be an easy fix for "ugly"". Or something like that.

    I don't know if this is a thing you should address with your boss/HR unless it becomes harassment. Usually comments like that mask some sort of jealously. Is she bigger than you? Are you above her in the hierarchy, or maybe more productive?
  • MoiAussi93
    MoiAussi93 Posts: 1,948 Member
    What kind of place do you work at where people would think that is okay to say? That is so incredibly rude and unprofessional...seriously, if it was my department I would fire an employee who said something like that. Talk about creating a hostile work environment! Even at my heaviest weight, and I was definitely obese, nobody ever actually said anything about it at work... or socially. Most adults, regardless of what they might be thinking, would never say that type of thing.

    I have no idea what I would have said. I might have been stunned into speechlessness. Or I might have snapped back "and I never realized what an ill-bred @sshole you are".
  • RuefulRabbit
    RuefulRabbit Posts: 42 Member
    So twenty minutes later, I've decided to take the moral high-ground. I am going to ignore this person (other than the interaction I must have with her for work), and take it as motivation to keep up with my plan to lose weight and get healthier.

    Unfortunately for making an HR complaint, being fat isn't a protected status.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    I certainly wouldn't go start something with this person now - just be ready if something is said again. I especially like the "I can lose weight, but you'll still be an ignorant douche" type of comment. :expressionless:
  • Arliah
    Arliah Posts: 266 Member
    RuefulRabbit wrote: »
    So twenty minutes later, I've decided to take the moral high-ground. I am going to ignore this person (other than the interaction I must have with her for work), and take it as motivation to keep up with my plan to lose weight and get healthier.

    Unfortunately for making an HR complaint, being fat isn't a protected status.
    Great mindset!
  • killerqueen21
    killerqueen21 Posts: 157 Member
    Say something to your boss then. It's clearly inappropriate unprofessional behavior.
  • JeralynSh
    JeralynSh Posts: 139 Member
    But unprofessionalism should be called out to HR anyway. This person should not be in a work environment at all.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    RuefulRabbit wrote: »
    So twenty minutes later, I've decided to take the moral high-ground. I am going to ignore this person (other than the interaction I must have with her for work), and take it as motivation to keep up with my plan to lose weight and get healthier.

    Unfortunately for making an HR complaint, being fat isn't a protected status.

    But a hostile work environment is unacceptable and they have to protect against that.
  • kr1stadee
    kr1stadee Posts: 1,774 Member
    I'd be going to HR.
    You don't know it won't be taken care of until you speak to someone.

    Yes, it's great to use it as motivation, but by not addressing it sends a message that it's ok, and it isn't ok.

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