It gets better right?

LolaKarwowski
LolaKarwowski Posts: 217 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I mean, I know that it does. I just want to hear from someone who started the same way I did. I've been doing some weightlifting with my husband and I felt really embarrassed when I couldn't do what he thought a beginner should be able to do. For example, the bench press thing.. I could only handle the bar alone (and barely!!!). There's hope for me right? If I just keep at it??

Replies

  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    ofc it gets better, dont compare yourself to others and look for self improvement be patient but focused. You will improve as long as you stick at it. Everyone starts somewhere. Dont worry.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    edited May 2015
    yes, it gets better. :)

    edited to add: women also notoriously have weaker chest/upper body strength
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    Yep. I bench pressed the bar with minimal issues...added 5 pounds? Nope, didn't get through my final two sets. But that's why you work towards improving.
  • Khukhullatus
    Khukhullatus Posts: 361 Member
    My ex couldn't handle the bar, so she just did her chest presses on the machines, or used the hand weights with fifteen in each hand for a total of thirty instead of the forty-five the bar weights. It changes the exercise slightly, but just relax, adapt, and don't beat yourself up over it. Everyone has a cap, yours just happens to be under forty-five. Just use the same strategy for any workout you can'd handle yet.

    Also, I'd be willing to bet that you can handle the bar pretty quickly. When you first start free weights, you feel weak as a kitten because you're not used to balancing and controlling the weight in addition to lifting it. Most people progress extremely fast in the beginning, as they get that knack.
  • mochapygmy
    mochapygmy Posts: 2,123 Member
    It gets better! It just takes time. My bench is lousy and I am working to improve it by following my program and doing accessory work for the back. The video below is very helpful.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34XRmd3a8_0
  • alyhuggan
    alyhuggan Posts: 717 Member
    If it helps I used to struggle doing 10kg dumbbells on dumbbell bench at like 110kg bodyweight :lol:
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    edited May 2015
    Yes! It gets better :) tell your husband to put his pre conceived ideas somewhere else. Try to push heavier than what you think though, especially if he's there to spot you. Perhaps on your last set put the weight up past what your brain tells you is comfortable and see how you go?
  • tiffanyking1976
    tiffanyking1976 Posts: 24 Member
    Yes it gets better! I've been lifting for about a month and to csn barely lift the bar. Tell hubby of he cant be supportive then to beat it lol
  • wesjack777
    wesjack777 Posts: 29 Member
    Hi,
    It gets better for sure.
    I started some exercises with just the bar and when you look back after a couple months and see how much stronger you are it is awesome!
    His beginner sessions WILL be different to others... It's all good. It's your journey.
    Am sure he will help if you talk to him about it.
    Keep going!!
  • LolaKarwowski
    LolaKarwowski Posts: 217 Member
    Thank you so much guys. I seriously just needed to know that I was not alone. Hubby is very supportive by the way!! He didn't say anything negative. He just started me off with what he felt were beginner weights and I was emberrased when I couldn't even lift the bar more than 2 times (without any weights). He never started with just lifting the bar, so I needed to hear it straight from thr people you have. This gives me so much motivation. Again, seriously, thank you!!!
  • gainorfamily09
    gainorfamily09 Posts: 3 Member
    edited May 2015
    Your husband shouldn't have thought you could handle more than the bar on bench press. If you've never done it before it can be intimidating! The first thing you should do is just the bar to get your form correct then add weight. If you don't have proper form then it doesn't matter if you can bench 35lbs or 255lbs. Good on you for getting in the gym and starting somewhere. Remember even the most fit people were beginners at one point!
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    LolaKarwowski wrote: »
    Thank you so much guys. I seriously just needed to know that I was not alone. Hubby is very supportive by the way!! He didn't say anything negative. He just started me off with what he felt were beginner weights and I was emberrased when I couldn't even lift the bar more than 2 times (without any weights). He never started with just lifting the bar, so I needed to hear it straight from thr people you have. This gives me so much motivation. Again, seriously, thank you!!!

    If this is an olympic bar, this was already too much for a beginner woman. I suspect you husband has no experience with women beginning to lift, right :) If he is in general supportive and can adjust his plans, great. Get some dumbbells in the beginning at least, all exercises done with barbells can be be done also with dumbbells.
  • mathandcats
    mathandcats Posts: 786 Member
    I'm not that strong yet, but I am LOADS stronger than when I started. For example, when I started, I used 2lb dumbbells for overhead press (I was doing 30 day shred, not deliberate strength training, but still - it was tiring for me). Now I use 15lb dumbbells. I started doing chest press with 10lb dumbbells and am up to 20lb now... which I think means I'm just past the weight of the bar?
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
    edited May 2015
    As someone else said, women tend to have weaker upper body strength as compared to men.

    I could not bench the olympic bar when I first started. I also couldn't do an overhead press with the olympic. It took me a bit of time to work up to it. And now that I can lift the olympic for both of those exercises, I have to use fractionals, otherwise I would feel like I was getting nowhere because it takes me so long to be able to add five lbs for both of those. Even if it means I'm only going up by 1/2 or 1 lb at a time, I'm still increasing.
  • Twisted_Benjamina
    Twisted_Benjamina Posts: 10 Member
    LolaKarwowski wrote: »
    I mean, I know that it does. I just want to hear from someone who started the same way I did. I've been doing some weightlifting with my husband and I felt really embarrassed when I couldn't do what he thought a beginner should be able to do. For example, the bench press thing.. I could only handle the bar alone (and barely!!!). There's hope for me right? If I just keep at it??
    Lol
  • Sweet_Heresy
    Sweet_Heresy Posts: 411 Member
    I started 3 months ago and my boyfriend helped me out with my first workout. I too could just barely bench the bar, and I almost fell on my *kitten* when I tried squats with just the bar! I felt pathetic! Lol.

    But now I bench 95 and squat 140, so don't get discouraged...like anything else, it takes time and practice. You will get there!!

    Best of luck, add me if you'd like. :)
  • DrLauraDVM16
    DrLauraDVM16 Posts: 64 Member
    When I started, the bar was hard. Now, 10 years later, I warm up at 95 pounds and usually finish my last (4th) set with 10 reps at 155 lbs. Still getting stronger. Incidentally, I started training my hubby a year ago...it's taken him most of that year to get stronger than me! Everyone has to start somewhere. ;)
  • mirrim52
    mirrim52 Posts: 763 Member
    The olympic bar weighs more than my 5 year old, 3'10" daughter. When it seems like I am weak, I try to picture myself benching or OHP her, and it helps me picture just how much 45 lbs is in the "real world".

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