My husband said it too.

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Dawntodusk
Dawntodusk Posts: 262 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've noticed several posts on MFP about husbands/boyfriends telling the wife/girlfriend not to lose too much weight. Well, my husband said the same thing to me yesterday. Noticing that I had lost weight, he said, "I hope you're not going to get too skinny."

Hmmm....

I'm not changing my goal/s. But, it's interesting that this seems to be a common comment from men.
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Replies

  • Navie42
    Navie42 Posts: 152
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    I remember reading a study that showed men's ideal size for a woman is larger by two pant sizes, on average, than a woman's ideal size for herself.
  • jeff261159
    jeff261159 Posts: 385
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    I'm a bloke, and i dont like skinny women, but whats more important is the confidence a woman has, thats a far more attractive quality. Women feeling good about themselves is great , whatevr the number on the scales!!
  • BamaMomma
    BamaMomma Posts: 53
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    mine said it, too. but i'm doing this for me and i won't be happy until i reach my goals. i want to be able to do this for myself. i'm not doing it for him, for anyone. i was lacking self-esteem but i'm slowly gaining it back.
  • niknak0508
    niknak0508 Posts: 430 Member
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    My boyfriend tells me the same. He doesn't want me to lose what "hips and butt" I have, so he says. He doesn't want me to be too skinny. As I have told him before, I don't want to be too skinny either. I want to be happy and at a healthy weight. When I get to my goal he will see, everything he loves about me will still be there and it will look 10 times better! :-)
  • snikles
    snikles Posts: 5 Member
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    My husband doesn't want me to lose the "womanly" curves. So I'm making sure I'm doing the strength training to maintain those curves while losing.
  • booberj
    booberj Posts: 69
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    Take it from a husband... my wife is on this diet along with me and I have told her exactly the same thing to her... I personally like the curves of women and I'm afraid of two things if she loses down to her "ideal" weight.

    1. the curves that I love and love to cuddle up to will be gone

    2. is way less valiant; I'm insecure in the fact if she loses weight and becomes more attractive to other men then I'll get jealous and push her away. I know I have nothing to worry about but it's still there
  • DianaPowerUp
    DianaPowerUp Posts: 518 Member
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    It does seem like most men prefer women with "a little meat on their bones".

    That said, I think that most men probably will be happiest, when the lady in their life is happy with herself.
  • suzumichan
    suzumichan Posts: 127
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    I think its what everyone else say's. All men likes women with curves and feeling good about themselves. My boyfriend say's I dont really need to lose anything but I am already shooting for a goal that is over the "healthy weight" for me.
  • hockeyman28
    hockeyman28 Posts: 136
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    Add my voice to the chorus in support of curves!
  • Purple_Orchid_87
    Purple_Orchid_87 Posts: 517 Member
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    2. is way less valiant; I'm insecure in the fact if she loses weight and becomes more attractive to other men then I'll get jealous and push her away. I know I have nothing to worry about but it's still there

    its good to admit that there is a little insecurity there for guys about their girl being more attractive to other men - even if you are in a loving long term relationship - i think that worry is always there - its what keeps people 'trying' at the relationship, in order not to lose the person they want to be with...
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Hello,

    I must admit to dating full figured to petite women in the past but I prefer a woman that is healthy and fit with curves. I prefer that my lady height and weight matches the BMI normal weight range.

    The truth is most men are threatened by the attention women receive when they become fit.


    Topsking2010
  • fh1951
    fh1951 Posts: 441 Member
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    Depends on what 'skinny' means. A supermodel? That's skinny - they're supposed to be clothes hangers for what they are wearing. A clothes hanger isn't too visually appealing.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    Doesn't matter one way or the other. Women lose weight, dress, apply make up, whatever....to impress the other women, not their men.
  • fitnessjch
    fitnessjch Posts: 449 Member
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    My man said the same. When I had a bit of a go at him, he changed it to 'I love you no matter what' and now he is starting to like my more toned self!

    I havent lost much as yet, but I am doing this for me, and to a large extent, he can butt out! lol

    Some men feel as though you may lose weight and leave them. I wish mine would realise there ain't a hope in hell (unless he does something really bad/stupid!) coz I love him so much!
  • HeyLisa
    HeyLisa Posts: 201
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    Interesting one.. Bump..
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
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    Doesn't matter one way or the other. Women lose weight, dress, apply make up, whatever....to impress the other women, not their men.

    I disagree...I keep my hair blonde..instead of red because my husband loves it blond. I also dress in clothes he finds attractive except when I where capris...he hates those..but they are sooo comfy LOL
  • hockeyman28
    hockeyman28 Posts: 136
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    Hello,

    I must admit to dating full figured to petite women in the past but I prefer a woman that is healthy and fit with curves. I prefer that my lady height and weight matches the BMI normal weight range.

    The truth is most men are threatened by the attention women receive when they become fit.


    Topsking2010

    Well, you don't speak for me, and I am a little insulted by the "most men are threatened..." line. Truth is, if MY wife wants to become "fit" and get attention, I am all for it- I think most husbands would. Hell, she's beautiful right now and I'm not sure why she doesn't get more attention. Truth is, I prefer hips, thighs, butt and bosom.

    First, my wife has no obligation to maintain her body in any way for me. I love her no matter what she does with it. Here's my "wishes" though:
    1. Her health. She seems perfectly healthy right now, but I want her around for as long as I or our kids want her. I will not compromise on this one, which includes being too skinny-particulary by unhealthy practices(bulimia etc).
    2. Her happiness. As long as #1 is met, whatever she wants to look like, whatever attention she wants, clothes she wants to wear etc. is what I want.
    3. As long as conditions 1 and 2 are met, and for some reason it even matters what I think, I prefer curves. I prefer 170 to 105.

    I know guys who like skinny-minis, I am not one of them, and I assume that there are many out there that feel the same.
  • littttlelaurra
    littttlelaurra Posts: 229 Member
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    I had that from a male friend, and go figure since I have to lose over 100 lbs lol
    I think when a man says that he is implying a few things-

    translating male lingo, "hope you dont lose too much weight"

    here we go follow along please....

    your guy noticed your weight loss and he knows your beautiful and now dropping a few lbs you maybe even more beautiful and sexy, he is remembering perhaps the former- younger , thinner you he met and fell in love with so he wanted to compliment you on your success because he realized you were motivated, dedicated to really attain your goal. Then he imaged you at your goal, kudos to you, but then he also got suddenly panic stricken that if he noticed his hot girl then other guys will notice you too and he got freaked out and decided to tell you "hope you dont lose too much weight" meaning hope when you get thin some other guy doesnt catch your eye and lure you away from me. In other words I love you through thick( read fat) and thin -please if you change your body , dont change your heart and mind about me since I am sudddenly feeling insecure because I know how amazing and hot you are so please dont leave me! Its just his way of saying how much he cares and thats how much you mean to him lol.
  • littlemissanguissette
    littlemissanguissette Posts: 248 Member
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    I've had a few guys say it to me, recently a beau who said I was a bit too thin last time he saw me [15lbs lighter, however...I wasn't toned nor in shape, and I'm getting pretty toned] and then he did admit that he felt like I was better looking than him. So I've learned not to take it too seriously, and I'm doing this journey for myself, not them, anyways.
  • fh1951
    fh1951 Posts: 441 Member
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    I had that from a male friend, and go figure since I have to lose over 100 lbs lol
    I think when a man says that he is implying a few things-

    translating male lingo, "hope you dont lose too much weight"

    here we go follow along please....

    your guy noticed your weight loss and he knows your beautiful and now dropping a few lbs you maybe even more beautiful and sexy, he is remembering perhaps the former- younger , thinner you he met and fell in love with so he wanted to compliment you on your success because he realized you were motivated, dedicated to really attain your goal. Then he imaged you at your goal, kudos to you, but then he also got suddenly panic stricken that if he noticed his hot girl then other guys will notice you too and he got freaked out and decided to tell you "hope you dont lose too much weight" meaning hope when you get thin some other guy doesnt catch your eye and lure you away from me. In other words I love you through thick( read fat) and thin -please if you change your body , dont change your heart and mind about me since I am sudddenly feeling insecure because I know how amazing and hot you are so please dont leave me! Its just his way of saying how much he cares and thats how much you mean to him lol.

    What women think is going on inside our heads?... LOL

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