Incident at the gym

bludurango2
bludurango2 Posts: 22 Member
edited November 18 in Motivation and Support
Okay I'll try to make this short. I was in the gym today for 2 hours. My workout was great. Usually when I'm at the gym I keep my headphones on so I can focus on my work out. It's also because I want people to leave me alone lol. So today as I'm leaving, this one lady who annoys the crap out of me (for another post) walks up to me in the locker room. She says "oh I saw you lifting weights. If you want to lose weight then you should do cardio. It's more important." Now, people I was in this gym for 2 hours!!! The first 60 minutes of it was spent doing very intense cardio, like I usually do. Furthermore, this is not my first time attempting to lose weight. I may not look like I'm educated in weight loss but I do know that cardio is important for someone of my size to lose significant weight. I think what bothers me is that she has the audacity to come up to me and say something. I wasn't asking for advice. What would you have done in my situation?
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Replies

  • 196449ab
    196449ab Posts: 8 Member
    Ask her if she thinks it's important to stay out of other peoples business!
  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,771 Member
    I might have told her I was actually trying to gain weight and cardio would be counterproductive to my goals.
  • bludurango2
    bludurango2 Posts: 22 Member
    @196449ab you my friend are hilarious! :)
  • bludurango2
    bludurango2 Posts: 22 Member
    @barbecuesauce I was more shocked that she said something at all. Hope that's the last time she says anything
  • Brans34
    Brans34 Posts: 599 Member
    I might have told her I was actually trying to gain weight and cardio would be counterproductive to my goals.

    Bahahahaha! I love it!

    Yeah, I'm the type of person that, if I don't like someone or they annoy me, I really don't even try to spare their feelings. I would have just said something like, "we'll good thing I didn't ask you," or like barbequesauce said, "I'm not trying to lose weight." Or worse...like "mind your own business!" Or maybe roll your eyes and walk away without saying anything. OR, something like, look her up and down and say, "and why exactly are YOU giving ANYONE advice on losing weight?"

    Sorry she did that to you. Some people just really don't have any common sense!
  • shedthesweater
    shedthesweater Posts: 279 Member
    Sometimes, people love to be in charge at the gym, and think they know it all. Why Thank you for your advice, I think I got this!
  • Wezah
    Wezah Posts: 14 Member
    I would of said Bi#ch please✋ both of them is important!! Didn't you know that??... Obviously no because you're too dumb. But that's okay
  • missomgitsica
    missomgitsica Posts: 496 Member
    I would have told her it's none of her business. You're a grown *kitten* woman and can make your own choices.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    I would be like "uh gee thanks but I'm doing what my doctor tells me to do so that's kinda that, man."
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    For most ppl when you say "doctor" that makes them shut up. Even if you have to stretch the truth a bit, kwim.
  • Tyorkesq
    Tyorkesq Posts: 1 Member
    Let it go, girl. You don't know what her intentions were. I wouldn't say anything to her unless she approaches you again.
  • minizebu
    minizebu Posts: 2,716 Member
    People almost always have good intentions. Responding in a negative way just creates an unpleasant situation.

    Unless you sense that the person was actually trying to be rude or insulting, then the best response to this sort of comment is to smile politely and say, "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." You can have the internal monologue of your choosing going on on the inside, but in the interest of social decorum just grin and bear it when receiving unsolicited advice and then go about your business in your own way.

    If you sense that the person was trying to be rude or insulting, then...you should still be polite. Again, something along the lines of "You're right. That's a great strategy. Thanks for sharing it." is best. It's better to take the high road than to respond to rude comments with rude comments.
  • cyronius
    cyronius Posts: 157 Member
    Sure, it's a little bit forward, but it hardly seems like a huge issue.

    Either just nod your head, or go "uh huh" to acknowledge that you heard her speak, but don't want to engage in a discussion on the topic.

    Or, let her know that you're doing cardio as well. Which may then turn in to a conversation and possibly a new gym buddy.

    Doesn't seem worth getting bent out of shape over like the majority of the replies here suggest you should have done...
  • Carol_
    Carol_ Posts: 469 Member
    There will always be rude people. Always! Smile and walk away.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,349 Member
    minizebu wrote: »
    People almost always have good intentions. Responding in a negative way just creates an unpleasant situation.

    Unless you sense that the person was actually trying to be rude or insulting, then the best response to this sort of comment is to smile politely and say, "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." You can have the internal monologue of your choosing going on on the inside, but in the interest of social decorum just grin and bear it when receiving unsolicited advice and then go about your business in your own way.

    If you sense that the person was trying to be rude or insulting, then...you should still be polite. Again, something along the lines of "You're right. That's a great strategy. Thanks for sharing it." is best. It's better to take the high road than to respond to rude comments with rude comments.

    To an extent, I disagree. While I'm not saying to be flat out rude, your way would mean that this woman thought her behaviour was appropriate and would continue to offer unsolicited advice. I don't think we should be so adverse to appearing rude that we appear to condone it in others.

    Politely telling her "thanks, but I didn't ask" or the like is still polite, but might make her think twice about approaching others with her nonsense.
  • walter94526
    walter94526 Posts: 12 Member
    If this is the first time that somebody has walked up and offered you "advice" be it good / bad / dumb / irrelevant, you are way ahead of the game my friend. AFAIK, if you spend a lot of time at the gym this will happen no matter what kind of shape you are in or what routines you are doing, including if you are a professional trainer on duty. Some people may actually have good advice coming from a place of knowledge and experience, others just want to validate what they do / heard / read themselves.

    ... and then there's "the crossfit guy" ... #LoL
  • Carol_
    Carol_ Posts: 469 Member
    cyronius wrote: »
    Sure, it's a little bit forward, but it hardly seems like a huge issue.

    Either just nod your head, or go "uh huh" to acknowledge that you heard her speak, but don't want to engage in a discussion on the topic.

    Or, let her know that you're doing cardio as well. Which may then turn in to a conversation and possibly a new gym buddy.

    Doesn't seem worth getting bent out of shape over like the majority of the replies here suggest you should have done...

    Is that a Major Mitchell's Cockatoo? Love it! I don't think I'd want that rude woman to be my 'gym buddy'. You're too nice! lol
  • Gradschoolwatch
    Gradschoolwatch Posts: 66 Member
    I agree with @minizebu . May seem hard when we are mad (and it is not completely unjustified). But later, taking the high road makes you feel happy :) Positive thinking makes life easier.I just smile and walk away. If its good advise-take it; else,just smile and walk away. Good luck with your weight loss !
  • Kst76
    Kst76 Posts: 935 Member
    She might not have been trying to be rude but the kind of person without common sense or lack of filter.
  • lseed87
    lseed87 Posts: 1,105 Member
    I would have probably told her I did cardio earlier and leave.
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,731 Member
    As obnoxious as unsolicited advice can be, it doesn't sound as though she meant to be rude or cruel. In fact, it sounds as though her heart was in the right place and her intentions were good, even though her actions were misguided, at best. It costs you nothing to be polite.
  • squishycatmew
    squishycatmew Posts: 151 Member
    Thanks for your unsolicited opinion, lady.
    Seriously, the only acceptable comment in the locker room about your workout is to encourage someone (like the woman who used to come at about the same time I did who congratulated me on improving my pull-ups (in the sense that I can now do more than one, lol)). Even if you are genuinely worried about someone, it's not really appropriate to comment. (If you think, for example, that their form might cause them to hurt themselves, it might be better to alert the gym staff so a trainer can point it out to them, which is exactly what happened to me when I was trying to work out a move I only had diagrams of. Thanks to that trainer, btw.)
  • kickassbarbie
    kickassbarbie Posts: 286 Member
    I'd opt for the "really? And how's that working for you?" Answer
    Or if she's on the small side and a little cardio bunny bat wingy I'd opt for the "True cardio is very good for weightloss but I don't really want wind up skinny fat and jiggly.." *pointed look at her weak spot...*

    I'm not the most Freindly of people though when it comes to unsolicited advice.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    I have to say that you have gotten pretty far without unsolicited advice. Just smile and say 'Thank you for that".

    Had to share this: A woman at my gym told me that I should never let my heart rate go above 120 while exercising. I told her I am down almost 115 pounds and I did it through cardio and weight lifting. She said I should stop because it does not work. . . . Mmmmm.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    edited May 2015
    Depends on how I was feeling but eitehr ignored her or put her in her place. Imo think you have invested too much time into it, why have you let it get to you? Waste of time dwelling on it.

    On review id think she was trying to be helpful, if not a bit climsy about things. You are being defensive and let it get to you. In terms of exercise and weight loss then imo one is not more importnat thna the other, they are different and complementary so equal cardio and resistance is ood, which is what you are doing. If i could have been bothered id have poiyned out politely that id already done an hours cardio.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    I would probably just nod and smile, and walk away shaking my head.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    edited May 2015
    If this is the first time that somebody has walked up and offered you "advice" be it good / bad / dumb / irrelevant, you are way ahead of the game my friend. AFAIK, if you spend a lot of time at the gym this will happen no matter what kind of shape you are in or what routines you are doing, including if you are a professional trainer on duty. Some people may actually have good advice coming from a place of knowledge and experience, others just want to validate what they do / heard / read themselves.

    ... and then there's "the crossfit guy" ... #LoL

    Yeah, I've had runins with that guy...you know the one who thinks that everyone not doing crossfit must spend all their time swilling martinis at Planet Fitness....

  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    I would've said, did I ask for your opinion??...sometimes if your just as forward as the other person, they get the hint and go away.
  • FatOldManMN
    FatOldManMN Posts: 1,116 Member
    Thank her!
This discussion has been closed.