My husband said it too.
Dawntodusk
Posts: 262 Member
I've noticed several posts on MFP about husbands/boyfriends telling the wife/girlfriend not to lose too much weight. Well, my husband said the same thing to me yesterday. Noticing that I had lost weight, he said, "I hope you're not going to get too skinny."
Hmmm....
I'm not changing my goal/s. But, it's interesting that this seems to be a common comment from men.
Hmmm....
I'm not changing my goal/s. But, it's interesting that this seems to be a common comment from men.
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Replies
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I remember reading a study that showed men's ideal size for a woman is larger by two pant sizes, on average, than a woman's ideal size for herself.0
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I'm a bloke, and i dont like skinny women, but whats more important is the confidence a woman has, thats a far more attractive quality. Women feeling good about themselves is great , whatevr the number on the scales!!0
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mine said it, too. but i'm doing this for me and i won't be happy until i reach my goals. i want to be able to do this for myself. i'm not doing it for him, for anyone. i was lacking self-esteem but i'm slowly gaining it back.0
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My boyfriend tells me the same. He doesn't want me to lose what "hips and butt" I have, so he says. He doesn't want me to be too skinny. As I have told him before, I don't want to be too skinny either. I want to be happy and at a healthy weight. When I get to my goal he will see, everything he loves about me will still be there and it will look 10 times better! :-)0
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My husband doesn't want me to lose the "womanly" curves. So I'm making sure I'm doing the strength training to maintain those curves while losing.0
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Take it from a husband... my wife is on this diet along with me and I have told her exactly the same thing to her... I personally like the curves of women and I'm afraid of two things if she loses down to her "ideal" weight.
1. the curves that I love and love to cuddle up to will be gone
2. is way less valiant; I'm insecure in the fact if she loses weight and becomes more attractive to other men then I'll get jealous and push her away. I know I have nothing to worry about but it's still there0 -
It does seem like most men prefer women with "a little meat on their bones".
That said, I think that most men probably will be happiest, when the lady in their life is happy with herself.0 -
I think its what everyone else say's. All men likes women with curves and feeling good about themselves. My boyfriend say's I dont really need to lose anything but I am already shooting for a goal that is over the "healthy weight" for me.0
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Add my voice to the chorus in support of curves!0
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2. is way less valiant; I'm insecure in the fact if she loses weight and becomes more attractive to other men then I'll get jealous and push her away. I know I have nothing to worry about but it's still there
its good to admit that there is a little insecurity there for guys about their girl being more attractive to other men - even if you are in a loving long term relationship - i think that worry is always there - its what keeps people 'trying' at the relationship, in order not to lose the person they want to be with...0 -
Hello,
I must admit to dating full figured to petite women in the past but I prefer a woman that is healthy and fit with curves. I prefer that my lady height and weight matches the BMI normal weight range.
The truth is most men are threatened by the attention women receive when they become fit.
Topsking20100 -
Depends on what 'skinny' means. A supermodel? That's skinny - they're supposed to be clothes hangers for what they are wearing. A clothes hanger isn't too visually appealing.0
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Doesn't matter one way or the other. Women lose weight, dress, apply make up, whatever....to impress the other women, not their men.0
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My man said the same. When I had a bit of a go at him, he changed it to 'I love you no matter what' and now he is starting to like my more toned self!
I havent lost much as yet, but I am doing this for me, and to a large extent, he can butt out! lol
Some men feel as though you may lose weight and leave them. I wish mine would realise there ain't a hope in hell (unless he does something really bad/stupid!) coz I love him so much!0 -
Interesting one.. Bump..0
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Doesn't matter one way or the other. Women lose weight, dress, apply make up, whatever....to impress the other women, not their men.
I disagree...I keep my hair blonde..instead of red because my husband loves it blond. I also dress in clothes he finds attractive except when I where capris...he hates those..but they are sooo comfy LOL0 -
Hello,
I must admit to dating full figured to petite women in the past but I prefer a woman that is healthy and fit with curves. I prefer that my lady height and weight matches the BMI normal weight range.
The truth is most men are threatened by the attention women receive when they become fit.
Topsking2010
Well, you don't speak for me, and I am a little insulted by the "most men are threatened..." line. Truth is, if MY wife wants to become "fit" and get attention, I am all for it- I think most husbands would. Hell, she's beautiful right now and I'm not sure why she doesn't get more attention. Truth is, I prefer hips, thighs, butt and bosom.
First, my wife has no obligation to maintain her body in any way for me. I love her no matter what she does with it. Here's my "wishes" though:
1. Her health. She seems perfectly healthy right now, but I want her around for as long as I or our kids want her. I will not compromise on this one, which includes being too skinny-particulary by unhealthy practices(bulimia etc).
2. Her happiness. As long as #1 is met, whatever she wants to look like, whatever attention she wants, clothes she wants to wear etc. is what I want.
3. As long as conditions 1 and 2 are met, and for some reason it even matters what I think, I prefer curves. I prefer 170 to 105.
I know guys who like skinny-minis, I am not one of them, and I assume that there are many out there that feel the same.0 -
I had that from a male friend, and go figure since I have to lose over 100 lbs lol
I think when a man says that he is implying a few things-
translating male lingo, "hope you dont lose too much weight"
here we go follow along please....
your guy noticed your weight loss and he knows your beautiful and now dropping a few lbs you maybe even more beautiful and sexy, he is remembering perhaps the former- younger , thinner you he met and fell in love with so he wanted to compliment you on your success because he realized you were motivated, dedicated to really attain your goal. Then he imaged you at your goal, kudos to you, but then he also got suddenly panic stricken that if he noticed his hot girl then other guys will notice you too and he got freaked out and decided to tell you "hope you dont lose too much weight" meaning hope when you get thin some other guy doesnt catch your eye and lure you away from me. In other words I love you through thick( read fat) and thin -please if you change your body , dont change your heart and mind about me since I am sudddenly feeling insecure because I know how amazing and hot you are so please dont leave me! Its just his way of saying how much he cares and thats how much you mean to him lol.0 -
I've had a few guys say it to me, recently a beau who said I was a bit too thin last time he saw me [15lbs lighter, however...I wasn't toned nor in shape, and I'm getting pretty toned] and then he did admit that he felt like I was better looking than him. So I've learned not to take it too seriously, and I'm doing this journey for myself, not them, anyways.0
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I had that from a male friend, and go figure since I have to lose over 100 lbs lol
I think when a man says that he is implying a few things-
translating male lingo, "hope you dont lose too much weight"
here we go follow along please....
your guy noticed your weight loss and he knows your beautiful and now dropping a few lbs you maybe even more beautiful and sexy, he is remembering perhaps the former- younger , thinner you he met and fell in love with so he wanted to compliment you on your success because he realized you were motivated, dedicated to really attain your goal. Then he imaged you at your goal, kudos to you, but then he also got suddenly panic stricken that if he noticed his hot girl then other guys will notice you too and he got freaked out and decided to tell you "hope you dont lose too much weight" meaning hope when you get thin some other guy doesnt catch your eye and lure you away from me. In other words I love you through thick( read fat) and thin -please if you change your body , dont change your heart and mind about me since I am sudddenly feeling insecure because I know how amazing and hot you are so please dont leave me! Its just his way of saying how much he cares and thats how much you mean to him lol.
What women think is going on inside our heads?... LOL0 -
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What women think is going on inside our heads?... LOL
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ahh ha but its true lol- knows this from my 3 brothers who confide in me everything a boyfriend or husband would never want a woman to ever know about what they were really thinking or feeling. :devil:0 -
Wrong.I had that from a male friend, and go figure since I have to lose over 100 lbs lol
I think when a man says that he is implying a few things-
translating male lingo, "hope you dont lose too much weight"
here we go follow along please....
your guy noticed your weight loss and he knows your beautiful and now dropping a few lbs you maybe even more beautiful and sexy, he is remembering perhaps the former- younger , thinner you he met and fell in love with so he wanted to compliment you on your success because he realized you were motivated, dedicated to really attain your goal. Then he imaged you at your goal, kudos to you, but then he also got suddenly panic stricken that if he noticed his hot girl then other guys will notice you too and he got freaked out and decided to tell you "hope you dont lose too much weight" meaning hope when you get thin some other guy doesnt catch your eye and lure you away from me. In other words I love you through thick( read fat) and thin -please if you change your body , dont change your heart and mind about me since I am sudddenly feeling insecure because I know how amazing and hot you are so please dont leave me! Its just his way of saying how much he cares and thats how much you mean to him lol.0 -
Well, I don't know what's going on in his head. But, I can add this: When I asked him why, he said because he would worry about me if I were too thin. I think this is because in his culture being thin means being sick.
As for men liking curves: My husband fell in love with me when I was several pounds lighter than I am now. So, obviously he liked me that way. Also, I have noticed that as I get thinner, I get asked to dance more often when we go out salsa-dancing. We went out a couple nights ago, and I hardly sat all night. It wasn't like this when I was 10 pounds heavier!
So, my conclusion is that men like me better when I'm thinner. The proof is in the pudding!0 -
well, my husband says he likes me how I am - always said that - but also comments on what I eat fairly often so I think he does love me how I am b/c of WHO I am, but would prefer me to look better but knows there is only so much I can do there so he's being supportive.0
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My guys says it too. I think he has insecurities -- normal, natural insecurities. I think he worries a bit that he's not good enough for me. That if I lose weight and become a more "accepted" form of attractive -- that someone "better" will come along and sweep me off my feet.
I worry too that because he's genuinely physically attracted to plus size women -- he'll no longer be attracted to me when I make it to my goal.
But I need to trust that he loves me for me -- for who I am -- for how I treat him. And he needs to trust me that he's exactly who I want to spend my life with.
Of course it could be just a safety request -- I've heard that making whoopie with some women of a certain size can be quite painful for males.0 -
What women think is going on inside our heads?... LOL
ahh ha but its true lol- knows this from my 3 brothers who confide in me everything a boyfriend or husband would never want a woman to ever know about what they were really thinking or feeling. :devil:
Joking aside, women's feelings are more complex and complicated than men's. That's why we
you! 0 -
I've certainly decided after almost 7 years of marriage that I can take what my husband says at face value. I won't make generalizations to all men, but I know my man says what he means and means what he says. When he says he's thinking about nothing, he has somehow completely switched off (I so envy that). When he says he loves me no matter what, I know that to be true. When he says he loves me fat or thin, I know that's true. When he says he supports me in my weight loss journey as long as I'm being healthy, he really does. Damn, I love my man!
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I want my lady to healthy and do not care if other men stare at her or pay attention to her. I know "we" are thogether whoever my lady might be.
I take that as a compliment. But I do like my lady to have what I term as "jiggleocity". It is sexy. I like wiatching her butt jiggle a little under the skirt.0 -
i've read several times that women are their own worst critics. men, for some reason, don't see all of the "imperfections" we see and if they do, they don't mind it. where we see flab, they see something to hold on to. my husband likes a little "meat", too, but it's not to say he doesn't appreciate me when i'm leaner or with a six pack - which will never happen. lol0
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