Incident at the gym

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  • lseed87
    lseed87 Posts: 1,110 Member
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    I would have probably told her I did cardio earlier and leave.
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,732 Member
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    As obnoxious as unsolicited advice can be, it doesn't sound as though she meant to be rude or cruel. In fact, it sounds as though her heart was in the right place and her intentions were good, even though her actions were misguided, at best. It costs you nothing to be polite.
  • squishycatmew
    squishycatmew Posts: 151 Member
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    Thanks for your unsolicited opinion, lady.
    Seriously, the only acceptable comment in the locker room about your workout is to encourage someone (like the woman who used to come at about the same time I did who congratulated me on improving my pull-ups (in the sense that I can now do more than one, lol)). Even if you are genuinely worried about someone, it's not really appropriate to comment. (If you think, for example, that their form might cause them to hurt themselves, it might be better to alert the gym staff so a trainer can point it out to them, which is exactly what happened to me when I was trying to work out a move I only had diagrams of. Thanks to that trainer, btw.)
  • kickassbarbie
    kickassbarbie Posts: 286 Member
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    I'd opt for the "really? And how's that working for you?" Answer
    Or if she's on the small side and a little cardio bunny bat wingy I'd opt for the "True cardio is very good for weightloss but I don't really want wind up skinny fat and jiggly.." *pointed look at her weak spot...*

    I'm not the most Freindly of people though when it comes to unsolicited advice.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
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    I have to say that you have gotten pretty far without unsolicited advice. Just smile and say 'Thank you for that".

    Had to share this: A woman at my gym told me that I should never let my heart rate go above 120 while exercising. I told her I am down almost 115 pounds and I did it through cardio and weight lifting. She said I should stop because it does not work. . . . Mmmmm.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    edited May 2015
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    Depends on how I was feeling but eitehr ignored her or put her in her place. Imo think you have invested too much time into it, why have you let it get to you? Waste of time dwelling on it.

    On review id think she was trying to be helpful, if not a bit climsy about things. You are being defensive and let it get to you. In terms of exercise and weight loss then imo one is not more importnat thna the other, they are different and complementary so equal cardio and resistance is ood, which is what you are doing. If i could have been bothered id have poiyned out politely that id already done an hours cardio.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    I would probably just nod and smile, and walk away shaking my head.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    edited May 2015
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    walter94526 wrote: »
    If this is the first time that somebody has walked up and offered you "advice" be it good / bad / dumb / irrelevant, you are way ahead of the game my friend. AFAIK, if you spend a lot of time at the gym this will happen no matter what kind of shape you are in or what routines you are doing, including if you are a professional trainer on duty. Some people may actually have good advice coming from a place of knowledge and experience, others just want to validate what they do / heard / read themselves.

    ... and then there's "the crossfit guy" ... #LoL

    Yeah, I've had runins with that guy...you know the one who thinks that everyone not doing crossfit must spend all their time swilling martinis at Planet Fitness....

  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    I would've said, did I ask for your opinion??...sometimes if your just as forward as the other person, they get the hint and go away.
  • FatOldManMN
    FatOldManMN Posts: 1,116 Member
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    Thank her!
  • mozart444
    mozart444 Posts: 1 Member
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    I had a similar situation in the past. I was talking to a few friends after my workout and I was stretching my back. A woman (I'm a 60 year old guy) who I had never met informed me that after observing me lift weights she could tell why I had so many back problems - I have none - and have been lifting regularly for 10 years. She went to tell me that she deals with people "like me" everyday in her physical therapy practice and went on and on about how her advice could remedy my current issues and prevent further injury. I finally stopped her with "can I ask you a question?" and at that point I think she believed I was going to go for her advice. I said to her, "How's your sex life? I'm an expert in reproduction (I'm a reproductive biology professor) and I know more about your reproduction than you do. If you'd like any advice as to improve the functioning of your system I'd be glad to help you out."

    With a huff she stormed away. Over the course of the next month we crossed paths in the gym several times and she never made eye contact. One day she stopped me and told me in no uncertain terms "my sex life is fine."
  • bludurango2
    bludurango2 Posts: 22 Member
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    @mozart444 this just might be the most hilarious post I've read on here thus far. Thank you sir
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    bludurango2 wrote: »
    Okay I'll try to make this short. I was in the gym today for 2 hours. My workout was great. Usually when I'm at the gym I keep my headphones on so I can focus on my work out. It's also because I want people to leave me alone lol. So today as I'm leaving, this one lady who annoys the crap out of me (for another post) walks up to me in the locker room. She says "oh I saw you lifting weights. If you want to lose weight then you should do cardio. It's more important." Now, people I was in this gym for 2 hours!!! The first 60 minutes of it was spent doing very intense cardio, like I usually do. Furthermore, this is not my first time attempting to lose weight. I may not look like I'm educated in weight loss but I do know that cardio is important for someone of my size to lose significant weight. I think what bothers me is that she has the audacity to come up to me and say something. I wasn't asking for advice. What would you have done in my situation?

    I would probably have given her a look and said, "Sure. I choose to do both cardio and weights. I like lifting weights and am happy with my weight loss progress." Then I would turn away and finish whatever I was doing.
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
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    I have and will point to my my ear buds and mouth the words " I CAN'T HEAR YOU" & smile walking away.
  • megcorey
    megcorey Posts: 49 Member
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    minizebu wrote: »
    People almost always have good intentions. Responding in a negative way just creates an unpleasant situation.

    Unless you sense that the person was actually trying to be rude or insulting, then the best response to this sort of comment is to smile politely and say, "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." You can have the internal monologue of your choosing going on on the inside, but in the interest of social decorum just grin and bear it when receiving unsolicited advice and then go about your business in your own way.

    If you sense that the person was trying to be rude or insulting, then...you should still be polite. Again, something along the lines of "You're right. That's a great strategy. Thanks for sharing it." is best. It's better to take the high road than to respond to rude comments with rude comments.

    Very true but the high road sucks
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    I would have probably just said the truth... "Ah, yeah. I did my cardio for the day. I'm interested in saving muscle mass as I lose too"
  • ImitatetheSun
    ImitatetheSun Posts: 44 Member
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    Welcome to the world of unsolicited comments associated with losing weight. Even if people think they mean well, offering your their approval or advice is an extension of their bigotry - they are thin because they deserve to be, whereas you are trying to earn the privilege after years (or a lifetime) of being unworthy. Part of the journey is to remember how outrageously ignorant they are, and that you do not need to give any craps at all about their opinions. As I got closer to my goal weight, people who had been complimenting me along the way got very critical. I figure they didn't want me to end up thinner than them. :) Last time I gave up because of all the subtle bullying by people like that. I'll never make that mistake again!
  • getup25
    getup25 Posts: 119 Member
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    bludurango2 wrote: »
    @mozart444 this just might be the most hilarious post I've read on here thus far. Thank you sir

    I have to agree with this.
  • DKLI
    DKLI Posts: 63 Member
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    mozart444 wrote: »
    I had a similar situation in the past. I was talking to a few friends after my workout and I was stretching my back. A woman (I'm a 60 year old guy) who I had never met informed me that after observing me lift weights she could tell why I had so many back problems - I have none - and have been lifting regularly for 10 years. She went to tell me that she deals with people "like me" everyday in her physical therapy practice and went on and on about how her advice could remedy my current issues and prevent further injury. I finally stopped her with "can I ask you a question?" and at that point I think she believed I was going to go for her advice. I said to her, "How's your sex life? I'm an expert in reproduction (I'm a reproductive biology professor) and I know more about your reproduction than you do. If you'd like any advice as to improve the functioning of your system I'd be glad to help you out."

    With a huff she stormed away. Over the course of the next month we crossed paths in the gym several times and she never made eye contact. One day she stopped me and told me in no uncertain terms "my sex life is fine."

    I love how she felt compelled to let you know how her sex life is, maybe to reassure herself? :)

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