I can't do it

Plan late-night snacks into your calorie budget if that's something that you like. There's no reason to go to bed hungry every night. If they are part of your plan then you won't feel like you are cheating and then just throw in the towel.

My goal is to set up my meals so that I don't feel deprived. You have to find a game plan that works for you.

Don't let one day get you down. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Don't beat yourself up about times you go over. That's part of life. The important thing is to figure out why and then think up ways to avoid that why in the future.

It sounds to me like you know what you have to do!! Changing everything at once is hard! Start with baby steps! Small changes create big results!! Try grabbing a protein bar instead of a candy bar! It helps me when i want something "junk foody" but its not really junk food. Try adding in water along with your soda to start and then cut soda a little at a time. If you need an ear, my inbox is always open. Feel free to add me!

The thing about failing before is you get more information about yourself. People think change should be easy, but it's not. The more times you fail, the closer you are to succeeding.

You CAN do this. We all slip up, it's just part of the journey. Try not to be so hard on yourself, you can do this. There are such great resources and people on this site, continue to reach out and we can all motivate and support each other.

You most certainly CAN do it, and the answer exists in doing it ONE DAY AT A TIME. Some of us are (food) addicts in the truest sense of the word and when the food controls you, rather than you controlling the food (As in the scenarios you shared) we become miserable, overwhelmed, and feel out of control. Taking control of your relationship with food is the first step toward success. Actually, if you follow OA (Over-eaters Anonymous) they would probably tell you that step one is admitting your powerlessness over your addiction to food. But anyway...

Meetings or no meetings, acknowledge the true issue (Addiction) and then tackle it ONE DAY AT A TIME. Sometimes this becomes ONE HOUR AT A TIME. And sometimes, ONE MINUTE AT A TIME. And what this means is that you can do anything for ONE DAY (Hour, minute.) You really CAN conjure up enough self control to manage short periods of time. I speak from experience. I always give myself full permission to PIG OUT tomorrow, without restraint of any kind. Then...."Tomorrow" becomes Today, and JUST FOR TODAY, I can do this. And so on.

Set your calorie goal fairly high (Set your MFP to lose one pound per week) so you don't feel too restricted. Make a list of your "Trigger" foods, favorite binge items, then substitute them for something acceptable. Examples of mine (Lays plain potato chips became Chester's cheese puffs, and big bowls of ice cream every night became a Skinny Cow salted caramel bar every evening.) Tell yourself the truth here: you don't have to give up the things you love, you just need to learn to regulate them. Control them, so they are not controlling you.

Success breeds success. So, for you, I would start DAY ONE where you change nothing, but drink much more water than you normally do. DAY TWO, add a serving of vegetables, or subtract (Or substitute) one snack. Stick with those two changes for a few days. Then, after a few days, add a bit of exercise (You can even count cleaning house, LOL.) When you realize that you CAN do these things successfully, and consistently, (And DO log them on MFP) then build your master plan around calorie control and nutrition. After you have a solid plan, jump into it ONE DAY AT A TIME. And don't tell yourself horror stories...you are NOT going to starve, you are NOT going to give up all of your much loved foods, you are NOT going to give up your comfort/coping tools.

Regarding support at home, you do have support here on MFP. I raised three children alone and understand those struggles well. Plan ahead. Consider weekly menus. Get the worst of the junk food (Binge items) out of the house...nobody needs them. JUST FOR TODAY, no last minute trips to the store for munchies. Keep healthy foods readily available (Cook chicken breasts and cube them up for sandwiches, salads or snacking.) String cheese, peanut butter, Chester's cheese puffs, fruits and veggies, baked sweet potatoes, Chocolate or Vanilla Soy Milk... all of these things should be available and encouraged. In moderation. And add your own list. Keep peanuts and raisins in your purse in a Ziploc. Add dried cranberries, a handful of chocolate chips, banana chips, whatever, whenever. When you feel the urge....dive into your snack stash!

Regarding the BBQ, no reason to let it get the best of you. Make sensible choices JUST FOR THIS BBQ :-)
If your only change is avoiding three helpings of potato salad, and eating half the desserts that you normally would, I would still count that as success because you are utilizing conscious choice in your eating habits.
Take control this very hour. YOU are the master...and food is your servant (To serve the health of your body and mind.) THAT is the correct relationship.

You can do this!!!!

It will be done when you COMMIT. It's one thing to desire something, an actually different thing to commit to it. There are no excuses or quitting once you really commit to something. And it's also a great example for you kids to see and watch you do.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I think a BBQ is a challenge for anyone when you are trying to lose as most of the foods are fattening. If I am planning to attend something like that, I would bring a healthy salad to contribute to the meal. Then, make most of your meal the salad. Add a little bit of the meat being cooked and a couple of tablespoons of the potato salad. Keep in mind that if you are still hungry you can always go back, but chances are you won't be hungry.

You need a plan of attack for family gatherings and BBQs in the summer time. Fill up on raw veggies before getting to the gathering, or better yet bring a platter of raw veggies and some low fat ranch dressing. Drink a large container of flavored water and slowly chew your food (remember it takes 20 mins to feel satiated).

As moms, we often take care of everyone else but ourselves. The problem is that if we don't take care of ourselves we may have health problems and might end up not being around for our families. You are worth it, and don't feel guilty taking some time for you.

I would encourage you to set some goals on the MFP site. Make the goals reasonable and achievable with some effort. As you get closer to your goals you will see the progress and this will motivate you further on. One day at a time and little steps - it is not a race.