Too intimidated to use weights

sammyantics
sammyantics Posts: 191 Member
edited November 18 in Motivation and Support
I met with a trainer a week and a half ago. He showed me a bunch of great exercises using free weights to target the things I want to target. I went back to the gym a few days later (once I could walk without wanting to die from pain lol) and it was chock full of meatheads/gymrats/etc. I managed to do 3 of my six sets, and even was lucky enough to have a muscle-dude help me with the hex bar and work me in between his sets, but I couldn't find equipment for one and didn't know where to go for the other.

Went back again last night, and it was even more crowded. Went over to the free weight side and absolutely panicked and just went home (at least I got my cardio in first).

I know I can't be the only one who feels so lost, scared, clueless trying to go and do that stuff, so I'm wondering how you might've gotten over that initial hurdle. I know once I feel more comfortable navigating the space and get used to the flow of the free weight section, my nerves and anxiety won't flare up like that, but any advice anyone has would be super appreciated.

I hated how I felt after I left the gym last night. I'm meeting with my trainer again on saturday, but I want to go work out before then too. Don't want to leave disappointed in myself again.

Replies

  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
    Well I think meeting with the trainer again on Saturday will help boost your confidence. Having someone to talk to and work with when you are new will help. For me, I had to just get used to working out in that section. I just did it. No matter who was there. And I realized no one cared I was there. No one even looked at me, which I appreciated! Also, thinking of the guys working out as something other than 'meatheads' and 'gym rats' will help shape you're perspective for the better; they are just guys who are there to work out, just like you, although they may have different goals. But maybe some of them were once where you were. Good luck, just take it one step at a time :)
  • charleykayesmom
    charleykayesmom Posts: 92 Member
    Weights can completely be intimidating especially to women being surrounded by guys in that area of the gym! Totally get it! One thing I have to tell myself is that EVERYONE is there to better themselves and weights are GREAT for both men and women! The more you go and get used to it, the less the anxiety over it! Ask your trainer to give you specific exercises written out so you can just follow that when go and not try to just decide what you think you should be doing! You can do it! Just gotta get over the stage fright! :) In reality, you are doing this for you and it doesn't matter what other thinks!
  • sammyantics
    sammyantics Posts: 191 Member
    TiaBia9 wrote: »
    thinking of the guys working out as something other than 'meatheads' and 'gym rats' will help shape you're perspective for the better; they are just guys who are there to work out, just like you, although they may have different goals. But maybe some of them were once where you were. Good luck, just take it one step at a time :)

    You're right. and honestly, the one dude who helped me was super nice. it's just hard right now cuz i have some social anxiety that's mostly centered around doing new people/environments and i feel like the most awkward duck.

    thanks for your advice and encouragement!

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  • sammyantics
    sammyantics Posts: 191 Member
    charleykayesmom wrote: »
    Ask your trainer to give you specific exercises written out so you can just follow that when go and not try to just decide what you think you should be doing!

    I actually do have a predetermined set of exercises, all of which i like doing. one of them involves dumbells, but i have no clue where the heck to do it because the gym layout isn't too great..and the other i need some bar..thing (still not familiar with the terms and stuff lol) and it's also hard to find. i'll just ask my trainer about it on saturday.

    thanks for the words of encouragement! <3

  • IamUndrCnstruction
    IamUndrCnstruction Posts: 691 Member
    Go in with a plan as the above poster mentioned. It helps that "lost" feeling when you have an objective. Also, as the above above poster mentioned, a change in perspective towards the "meatheads" might be in order. You are only serving to intimidate yourself that way. I go three times a week, lugging an oxygen tank around with me while I do it.....crowded or not, gym dudes or not, the only chick there or not. It was scary at first, and I do get some looks, but as the inches come off and the metabolism ramps up, nothing will stop me now. What it really boils down to though, is how badly do you want to lift weights?
  • Spocky
    Spocky Posts: 62 Member
    Hi!
    I also hate when I have to wait for a machine, usually I do some other exercise while I am waiting. What if you try to avoid rush hours at the gym or look for an other one less crowded. The place where I go is never crowded, I usually go there at for 13:00 so most people are working that time. Maybe more expensive gyms are not that crowded.
  • sammyantics
    sammyantics Posts: 191 Member
    Spocky wrote: »
    Hi!
    I also hate when I have to wait for a machine, usually I do some other exercise while I am waiting. What if you try to avoid rush hours at the gym or look for an other one less crowded. The place where I go is never crowded, I usually go there at for 13:00 so most people are working that time. Maybe more expensive gyms are not that crowded.

    I go to a pretty crowded gym, usually after work when it's pretty crowded. saturdays aren't so bad. i'm going to try going later tomorrow night to see if it's less hectic. i think the chaos and sheer amount of people is what spooked me.

    sadly, a different gym isn't really an option. this one just started doing cheaper plans, allowing me to afford 30 minutes with a trainer every month or so. and the location is key. walkable from my apartment. :)
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,352 Member
    Try going at an off time if you can. Early in the morning (like 5am), late morning/early afternoon (11am-1pm), and later at night (after 7pm) are typically quieter times. Once you get comfortable in your routine, it makes it a lot easier and less intimidating when you go during a busy time.
  • sammyantics
    sammyantics Posts: 191 Member
    chubby_checkers wrote: »
    Try going at an off time if you can. Early in the morning (like 5am), late morning/early afternoon (11am-1pm), and later at night (after 7pm) are typically quieter times. Once you get comfortable in your routine, it makes it a lot easier and less intimidating when you go during a busy time.

    i wish i had the willpower to wake up that early! but, yeah i definitely think i'm going to wait to go until 730-8 tomorrow night. that could very well be the ticket. :)

    thanks!

  • aDivingBelle
    aDivingBelle Posts: 49 Member
    If you are just working at dumbbell exercises couldn't you just buy a few dumbbells ( i got a good set for about thirty bucks) and work at home if you are truly stressing?

    I don't want to be the person who points this out but you were kinda judging them, calling them gym rats and meat heads. I doubt they were judging or worrying about you. Perhaps if you changed your attitude towards the lifters, your anxiety would cease. It's really easy to concentrate on differences and then feel like you are out of place. Just saying.
  • peachyfuzzle
    peachyfuzzle Posts: 1,122 Member
    The more you do it, the more comfortable you'll feel. You'll never allow yourself to become comfortable if you don't push yourself to keep it up.

    <--- also an awkward social duck.
  • sammyantics
    sammyantics Posts: 191 Member
    aDivingBelle wrote: »
    If you are just working at dumbbell exercises couldn't you just buy a few dumbbells ( i got a good set for about thirty bucks) and work at home if you are truly stressing?

    I don't want to be the person who points this out but you were kinda judging them, calling them gym rats and meat heads. I doubt they were judging or worrying about you. Perhaps if you changed your attitude towards the lifters, your anxiety would cease. It's really easy to concentrate on differences and then feel like you are out of place. Just saying.

    No, you're right to call me out. I was definitely judging, mostly because i felt so out of place (read:inadequate) and everyone else seemed to just be so natural in that environment. I think, overall, I was having an off day and let it get the best of me on all counts
  • sammyantics
    sammyantics Posts: 191 Member
    peachyfuzzle wrote: »
    The more you do it, the more comfortable you'll feel. You'll never allow yourself to become comfortable if you don't push yourself to keep it up.

    <--- also an awkward social duck.

    so true. maybe i just have to accept that i'm gonna feel weird, be a bit clumsy, make mistakes, etc until i get used to things

  • Spocky
    Spocky Posts: 62 Member
    I would advise buying dumbbels for home if you find it cheap somewhere. I have 2 5kg dumbbels at home and I do some simple sets while watching Netflix. Good thing that you can talk with a trainer, I keep postponing that and have no idea how much would it cost.
  • ALJohnson1980
    ALJohnson1980 Posts: 10 Member
    edited May 2015
    I feel the same way! I almost freaked and left on monday! It was way more crowded than I was comfortable with. I bolted to the bathroom and told myself I'm just starting and learning. I will focus on my form. People are there to workout and they aren't watching me they're trying to get through their routine. I reminded myself that this was important to me and I was going to have to conquer my anxiety to reach my goals.Tried a partner but our schedules don't match most times. I'm just trying different times to see whens the least crowded. You have to have the attitude I'M GETTING MY WORKOUT IN, screw everybody else! I rearranged my routine a little to the stations available and put my work in and left. I was proud of myself for pushing through the workout and the anxiety. I'm sure it gets easier. Good luck!
  • peachyfuzzle
    peachyfuzzle Posts: 1,122 Member
    sammyantics wrote: »
    peachyfuzzle wrote: »
    The more you do it, the more comfortable you'll feel. You'll never allow yourself to become comfortable if you don't push yourself to keep it up.

    <--- also an awkward social duck.

    so true. maybe i just have to accept that i'm gonna feel weird, be a bit clumsy, make mistakes, etc until i get used to things

    Not one person there started out knowing everything (or really anything at all). Every single one of them has looked clumsy, or goofy at one point, and they probably still do at times.

    Hell, the reason why people use a squat rack is so that they can bail out of a lift. If you've never bailed out of a lift before, it's the goofiest looking thing ever, but people do it all the time. No biggie.
  • sammyantics
    sammyantics Posts: 191 Member
    ALJohnson1980 wrote: »
    I feel the same way! I almost freaked and left on monday! It was way more crowded than I was comfortable with. I bolted to the bathroom and told myself I'm just starting and learning. I will focus on my form. People are there to workout and they aren't watching me they're trying to get through their routine. I reminded myself that this was important to me and I was going to have to conquer my anxiety to reach my goals.Tried a partner but our schedules don't match most times. I'm just trying different times to see whens the least crowded. You have to have the attitude I'M GETTING MY WORKOUT IN, screw everybody else! I rearranged my routine a little to the stations available and put my work in and left. I was proud of myself for pushing through the workout and the anxiety. I'm sure it gets easier. Good luck!

    heck yeah! good for you! i want THAT feeling.

  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
    Between this post and the other one about getting under 200 pounds, you are me a year ago. I lost my first 20 pounds doing cardio alone. That was the first three months or so of my journey. Then my knee started bothering me and I couldn't do the cardio thing anymore. That's when I took up lifting. SL 5X5 really helped my knee and every other part of my body. You would think that squatting would hurt the knee even more but it really helped. I taped it up for the first two weeks of lifting and then never needed the tape again. I hated bulky braces. Remember how I said in the other post that I was doen to 180 pounds? Well, I could squat that within 6 months of starting the program. As for the gym intimidation issue, I had that too. It came down to how bad I wanted to it. After the first couple of sessions, the intimidation went away. I stayed in my squat rack and everyone else minded their own also. We're not rude people there, we just wanna get in and get out so we don't hold up anyone else. It's all about will power. I did get up at 4 am for a while to work out in the morning but that ended when I went to a different schedule at work. It did help me feel better thoughout the day though.
  • TheRoseRoss
    TheRoseRoss Posts: 112 Member
    I saw an interview with a pro body builder that was eye opening: he said that he was at a competition and a new face was back in the locker room waiting for the show to begin. Being a vet, he was used to the guys that show up every year, so he knew this one was new to this competition. There are a lot of things that the pros do in order to get their muscles to "pop" when on stage in front of the judges. He looked over and this new guy was eating a bag of fruit loops breakfast cereal. He and the other pros thought "what on earth is this guy doing? Is he crazy ingesting that before he has to go on stage?"

    The kicker for me was that he and all the other pros became insecure thinking "maybe this guy knows something we don't." These are pros that have been competing for years, and make their living doing shows, yet they saw this guy and didn't think "what an idiot." They thought "oh no! He knows something we don't." It turns out that the guy was a rookie that had no clue how to get ready for the show, but even the pros doubted themselves.

    What I took from this is "don't worry about the other people in the gym. They're not watching you. And the ones that are watching you will likely think that you're some guru that knows something they don't."
  • feisty_bucket
    feisty_bucket Posts: 1,047 Member
    The "post-work crowd" is a very real thing. Every other time is less busy, as well as weekends.
    But you've gotten good advice here. Take comfort in knowing you figured out half your lifts already, and there are really only a half-dozen important movements. Everything else is just variations on those themes, which you'll learn to identify with more experience.
  • bbinoa
    bbinoa Posts: 493 Member
    I can completely relate. I'm super self conscious in the gym and I've worked out for years! I think it's just a thing with me (I'm also the one who hates to go to restaurants or movies alone too). Good for you for going! That's awesome. I belong to a gym that has alot of very serious lifters... competition types. After my first few times there I realized I was actually the only one watching anyone. They were too busy concentrating on their workouts which I should've been doing too (d'oh!). I continually remind myself of that, which has helped. I've also found if I wear headphones it keeps me motivated in the workout and I spend less time stressing and overthinking. I also try to go on some off times to explore and get familiar with stuff. Hope.that helps. Keep going and soon you'll be someone a newbie is watching because you've got it down!
  • sammyantics
    sammyantics Posts: 191 Member
    Thanks to everyone for your input. as an update, I went last night, an hour later than the previous visit. it was a lot less crowded, and i felt completely comfortable doing my thing. even 'worked in sets' with a dude using the same machine thang! I did it! i felt amazing and practically danced the whole walk home!

    still flying high on my victory today :)
  • bbinoa
    bbinoa Posts: 493 Member
    So awesome! Good for you!! :)
  • slaite1
    slaite1 Posts: 1,307 Member
    Awesome job going back!!! I have pretty bad anxiety. I would classify myself as a meathead-yet I STILL get anxiety at the gym. I am a certified trainer and yet get self conscious that I'm being judged. It's stupid really. Going later was definitely a good idea.

    Also, if you have a friend that can join you (even once) on a quiet Saturday/Sunday morning when the gym is pretty empty. Play around with the equipment with them, find all the stuff you need. Figure out how to use any machines and maybe take a look at the barbells-since you're a badass now you will eventually be using one.

    At the height of my anxiety i did this with my boyfriend. I felt much more comfortable-and that feeling lasted into my normal routine that I completed alone.
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