"To The Fatty Running On The Track This Afternoon"

mamapeach910 wrote: »

UltimateRBF wrote: »

I loathe this meme. Loathe it

Signed,
A fat runner who now wonders if a meme is being made about her every time she runs in public.

I have no doubt you meant well though, OP. It's just that myself and many others find this meme extremely patronizing.

That's sort of how I feel about the initial post.

I'm not sure how I feel about what the guy did who responded. I get that he didn't intend for his response to go viral, and he made some valid points. I would rather he had been straight forward about his identity and not role-played, though.

That is his writing style. He has done that with several other topics since then. The only thing is that he puts his own experiences in to make it about him. The most recent one he did was the lady at a ballpark who had pictures taken of her eating nachos and logging them into MFP.

The person who wrote the original post was, basically, saying, "Hey! I see you out there when I run. I see your fight. I see your efforts. Don't look away. Look up. Be proud of your efforts. 'You Rock'."

In response this person got a major, "F-U!" Without regard for whether that original poster had ever been in 'Westview runner's' shoes, struggling to break through a wall of overweight and poor health, someone took it upon his or herself to condemn someone who was trying to be uplifting. Did the OP's words sound hard? Harsh? Blatantly raw? Well yes, they did. But, it's not like the two runners and everybody else did not know this person is overweight and every step is an effort. But this one runner is trying to say, "That's okay. You know it's okay because you continue to get out here and do it when there are so many others who just sit and home and complain and say... some day." The first poster is congratulating the unknown runner for ignoring 'some day' and getting out there. He is saying don't look away. Make eye contact. Look at me and see Give me a chance to give you a nod, one runner to another, to congratulate you on your fight and to give you the encouragement to be proud of your journey.

There was no indication one way or the other that this first poster had not, once upon a time, been in those same shoes, slogging around the track with the greatest effort, stopping at every lap for a drink of water. We don't know what the circumstances were. What we do know was that he was making an effort to get a point across.

You. You're fat. We both know that. I don't know your journey and you won't talk to me so all I can do is describe what I see and let you know you are doing a good job and you should be proud of yourself.

Yeh. When I first read it, I, too, was a little angry that someone would write such an apparently condescending post. But, particularly in this case, that reveals a lot more about the reader. We all begin to make judgments of our own about the person writing such a 'horrid' load of comments about someone who is struggling with their weight. Then comes the twist, that his words are part of a larger picture. So, if we look deeper, maybe we can see that we have made a snap judgment about this person just as most people make snap judgments about everyone they see every day. Most people will see a very large person walking... waddling down the street and immediately, though perhaps unconsciously, make a judgment on that person and his or her life and lifestyle. Admit it. We do. The person who wrote that, at first blush, nasty and unkind post was actually rubbing our collective nose in our own judgmental nastiness while telling the victim of such nastiness that it's okay. Just ignore them. You are okay and I, for one, am proud of you.

And yet here we are, all of us passing judgment on that person who just wanted to convey a moment of encouragement. So... What does that say about us?

The rebuttal, on the other hand, comes off as deliberately judgmental and hateful and attacking with no redeeming factor. It reveals a decided insecurity in the author to so overtly target someone else, assuming the worst in that other person. THAT, for me, shows a total lack of understanding in the person who wrote the passage... of self and of others. It is all about the negative. And that is sad for the person who wrote it because it shows more hate than compassion, more anger than wisdom, more despair than hope.

ahamm002 wrote: »

mamapeach910 wrote: »

Bshmerlie wrote: »

I think his reply sucks.

The person wasn't writing it to be an a-hole. They wrote it because they respected the journey he chose to embark on to better himself. He's just an angry fat person who's taking his anger out on someone who meant well. No one who's 420 pounds put that much weight on by "eating better than most people". Sure maybe he's not eating midnight snacks but he'd have to be snacking on a lot of something to get that big. I'm 100 pounds overweight and you know what...I own it. I obviously didn't make the correct decisions when it came to food intake. But bashing someone who made up a creative back story for why a guy was out there running is foolish. When that guy reads his reply what's gonna be his impression of him now. He's simply gonna think he's a jerk and not give him the time of day.

I think you misread something there. He was 400 pounds, started eating well, and by the time he was 300 pounds and was judged to be eating poorly, was eating a healthy diet.

Moral of the story? You can't presume that someone who is obese is not eating well by looking at them.

Perhaps you can't assume they are not currently eating well. But they definitely must have ate poorly at some point. You'd have to eat pretty poorly for a very long time to reach 400 pounds.

You are arguing just to argue. How does that have anything to do with the particular people involved, specifically since that is who I was discussing with the other poster?

But hey, I'll go with what you're saying, you can't judge how someone is CURRENTLY eating by how they look. That was my point.

I loath the original post! I went through something very similar when I was battling my weight. I started gaining weight for unknown reasons when I was about 19 years old. I ate a strict 900 calorie diet and worked out 5 or 6 days a week. My weight continued to balloon for several years until I reached 263. I saw multiple doctors and nutritionists and none of them could give me any answers. They wouldn't believe my food and exercise journals because obviously fat people lie to hide their shameful eating. People at the gym I was going to frequently provided "helpful" unsolicited advice like what and when to eat, what exercises to do, that I have to push myself harder...stuff like that. I eventually felt so ashamed that I quit going to the gym and running in public. I was finally diagnosed with PCOS, endometriosis and hypothyroidism. Once I started treatment I lost the weight rapidly. Everyone started to tell me how hot/gorgeous/skinny I am and how proud they are of me for making a lifestyle change. Sorry to break it to you but I'm still eating and exercising the exact same amount as I was before only now my hormones are semi in-check. Sorry I wasn't good enough for you to notice or be kind to when I was heavy.

chelsy0587 wrote: »

I agree with others that have stated no one has to except a compliment laced with insults. I find the original post to be just rude and mean spirited, but then I cannot stand Facebook at all so...

I've had 3 people ( all women ) at my gym tell me that they can see the difference in me since I started going to the gym, they see my weight loss and they see 100% effort from me at every workout.

That feels awesome, I really appreciate the compliment and I believe its genuine. BUT this only reinforces that people really are watching other people at the gym...

I'm heavy and I'm embarrased by it. I manage to go to the gym and get some exercise by telling myself that everyone there is busy and seeking the same thing no matter how fit they appear and nobody is looking at me anyway. It disturbs me and ruins my self talk to have it reinforced that in fact people are looking at me and judging.

Wiseandcurious wrote: »

I really hate the original. How nauseatingly patronizing. Guess what, I don't need to be "inspired", I inspire myself. And the fact that whoever composed this thought it was at all appropriate to bring up the other person's weight shows how skewed their thinking is.
The whole thing just reinforces the idea that fat people are only acceptable if they obviously are working their *** off to fight it and are miserable in the process.

Do you turn away when you pass someone else on the running track? Probably not. You ARE sure of yourself, and congratulations. The Westview runner looks away when passing other runners, suggesting that person, to at least some extent, is less so.

"Bringing up the other person's weight"? Do you suppose anybody there, most especially Westview Runner, is not aware that this person is overweight and, in all probability, the heaviest person on the track? If you believe the post reinforces the idea that fat people are miserable it, again, reflects more on the perceiver than the perception. What I see the author of that original post saying is that s/he recognizes the effort and congratulates that effort. S/he is telling Runner to raise his/her head and be proud of the efforts more than ashamed of the weight. Runner IS ashamed. Runner looks down, looks away when other runners pass. SOMEONE has made Runner believe that the weight identifies him/her and that IS who Runner is. The Westview Writer, on the other hand is trying to convey to Runner that this is not true. That Runner is, indeed, more than the sum of the scales. Westview Writer says to Runner, "You are more than that. Congratulations on your efforts. Be proud of who you are and don't let anyone put you down. I, for one, am on your side."

To me, the most telling statement is the fact that this Runner is ashamed, looks away, looks down. That bespeaks a person who does feel some shame about who they are. Westview Writer was probably just trying to lend a hand of friendship. Maybe Writer had to walk/run off a couple hundred pounds and wants to be able to share Runner's journey, if only Runner would look their way.

DeguelloTex wrote: »

SezxyStef wrote: »

DeguelloTex wrote: »

SezxyStef wrote: »

If someone who is "exercising" has enough time to think this and then later write it they aren't spending enough time really exercising...when I work out I don't notice anyone around me...ever...I see the walls, the bars, the plates, the puddles to avoid and holes in the walking bridge...that's what I see.

get your mind on your workout not what is around you...you'd be better off.

Oh an btw the title sucks..."to the fatty..." WTF...

Does exercising with no rest between sets work for you?

When I lift, I notice things around me. When I rest, I notice things around me. When I walk, I notice things around me. Nice to know I've been "exercising" incorrectly all this time.

Your post is about as cringe-inducing as the original one.

When you are exercising do you notice them enough to write a FB post about the fatties?

I have rests between sets but not long ones...and where did I say anyone was exercising incorrectly...I said if people spent less time noticing everything around them and more energy on their workout they would be better off.

it's funny how people read into things so much(exercising incorrectly)...*smh*

I notice them enough to write posts about them, yeah. Particularly if someone or something stands out.

You put exercising in quotes and said they weren't "really exercising" if they had time to think about something like that. The implication was clear, however much you want to try now to walk it back.

and how was my quotes about a person who wrote an article after "exercising" so loathsome and disgusting in anyway questioning how you exercise or if you are doing it right or wrong...

I said and I am quoting

If someone who is "exercising" has enough time to think this and then later write it they aren't spending enough time really exercising

are you telling me you wrote the post? because there was a lot of detail in that particular article that would have required a lot of attention and if the attention of that particular person is on another person to that degree are they really putting a lot of effort into what they are doing????

How many times have I see this in posts here on MFP...

woman "I am scared of the weight side of the gym I will get looked at funny/strange/judged"

MFP Poster "no one is looking at you we are all working out and worried about our workout not who is in the weight section of the gym"...

but when I say it...bam "off with her head" and questioned about it as if I would lie about it...wtf.

while poorly written, I do appreciate the intention behind the original letter. he was just giving a big thumbs up to a person he saw trying to better himself.
the response was overreactive and defensive.

ReeseG4350 wrote: »

Wiseandcurious wrote: »

I really hate the original. How nauseatingly patronizing. Guess what, I don't need to be "inspired", I inspire myself. And the fact that whoever composed this thought it was at all appropriate to bring up the other person's weight shows how skewed their thinking is.
The whole thing just reinforces the idea that fat people are only acceptable if they obviously are working their *** off to fight it and are miserable in the process.

Do you turn away when you pass someone else on the running track? Probably not. You ARE sure of yourself, and congratulations. The Westview runner looks away when passing other runners, suggesting that person, to at least some extent, is less so.

"Bringing up the other person's weight"? Do you suppose anybody there, most especially Westview Runner, is not aware that this person is overweight and, in all probability, the heaviest person on the track? If you believe the post reinforces the idea that fat people are miserable it, again, reflects more on the perceiver than the perception. What I see the author of that original post saying is that s/he recognizes the effort and congratulates that effort. S/he is telling Runner to raise his/her head and be proud of the efforts more than ashamed of the weight. Runner IS ashamed. Runner looks down, looks away when other runners pass. SOMEONE has made Runner believe that the weight identifies him/her and that IS who Runner is. The Westview Writer, on the other hand is trying to convey to Runner that this is not true. That Runner is, indeed, more than the sum of the scales. Westview Writer says to Runner, "You are more than that. Congratulations on your efforts. Be proud of who you are and don't let anyone put you down. I, for one, am on your side."

To me, the most telling statement is the fact that this Runner is ashamed, looks away, looks down. That bespeaks a person who does feel some shame about who they are. Westview Writer was probably just trying to lend a hand of friendship. Maybe Writer had to walk/run off a couple hundred pounds and wants to be able to share Runner's journey, if only Runner would look their way.

I tend to look down when I run. No shame, just concentrating on what I'm doing and making sure that I'm not coming up on something that will make me trip and fall.