I am just so discouraged!

Ambermoon03
Ambermoon03 Posts: 5 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
Last year my spleen became swollen and after several months of testing the final verdict was "we don't know." So, when I exercise, any more than normal walking, it hurts. So, my doctor told me to concentrate on a healthier diet. I have gained a lot of weight the past couple of years too because I'm an adult student who also works and also still takes care of one teenager at home. My partner is my only support and he is absolutely not interested in losing weight, even though he admits he probably should. I'm not close to any family, I don't have close friends (too busy being a mom since I was 19). This summer I'm not taking classes so I have to work extra, and I'm working 3 part time jobs.

Every time I click to complete my food diary, it says "if every day were like today, you'd weigh _____ in 5 weeks." And that number is completely discouraging!!! I already feel like I'm missing out on friendships. missing out on life because I have to catch up, and I miss out on just going out because I'm so broke! And I can't spend extra money on food that only I will eat. Today I just feel like giving up on eating healthy. I can't do it alone!!!!

Replies

  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    I don't have a close family either but all I can say is it up to us, it is hard work but worth it. Count the calories and the weight will come off. Take care of yourself!
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    I'm not sure how any of that has to do with losing weight. You don't need to do anything extra or special. All you need is a calorie deficit. Work your NORMAL budget-friendly foods into your calorie goal and you will lose weight.
  • CoachJen71
    CoachJen71 Posts: 1,200 Member
    *hugs* I understand how hard it is to eat well on a budget, and not having support at home makes it that much harder. Do you have access to a food bank? Sometimes the one near us has low sodium canned beans and veggies, fresh fruits and vegetables, frozen chicken and fish, eggs, and milk.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    Whilst I can sense you feel you have it tpugh am no quite sure what you are after.

    1. Normal walking or swimming would be fine forms of exercise. In most cases regular exercise helps lessen pain rather than making a situation worse. In any event you do not need to exercise for weight loss. Exercise is mainly for fitness and health, its complmentary, but you can lose weight simply by moderating consumption.
    2. You have a busy life, but so does just about everyone else. If you want to lose, then you have to do it for yourself and whatever limitations you have, then youll need to find ways to work around it. As long as your partner doesnt interfere (disinterest is not interfring) then you should lose the weight for yourself and not be reliant or expect from other people. It keeps it simple.
    3. You can acquire friends to talk to on here and most of them will be losing or trying to.
    4. I dont get why you are discouraged by the MFP projection? I wouldnt rely on it too much it simply multiplies the weekly loss by 5. Often the calories people record are not accurate so it will not work out anyway.
    5. If you are missing out on friendships, then it seems like you are blaming the diet for something it cant be responsible for. How can you stress about spending extra money when in the same paragraph you claim to be broke? if anything dieting will save you money.

    Maybe you should relax, rethink and replan and understand why it is you want to lose weight. This will help refocus and motivate you.

    Have a look at your plan again and see how you can make things easier for yourself, its not worth getting stressed about. This is a good start if you want to familiarise yurself with the basics.
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
  • Carol_
    Carol_ Posts: 469 Member
    @Ambermoon03
    Sometimes you can get better support by choosing a few friends on here or joining a group. It really is discouraging when the projected weight loss is still a large number. I don't always tell people in 'real life' that I am eating less and trying to lose weight. Their advice often is not very good, not that I asked them for it. lol Just keep counting calories, track them..and do that over and over and over again..and one day..you will get there.
  • Ambermoon03
    Ambermoon03 Posts: 5 Member
    CoachJen71 wrote: »
    *hugs* I understand how hard it is to eat well on a budget, and not having support at home makes it that much harder. Do you have access to a food bank? Sometimes the one near us has low sodium canned beans and veggies, fresh fruits and vegetables, frozen chicken and fish, eggs, and milk.

    That's a good idea, I hadn't thought of that. Thank you!
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    I know life gets crazy sometimes and everything becomes overwhelming. But what caught my eye about your post was the sentence about buying special foods for just you to eat. That's not needed at all. I eat what I like, but within moderation and portion control. All you need is a food scale to weigh your portions. Other then that, you don't need to buy anything special. I have a crazy life, today I worked 13 hrs on my feet, went to gym for 35 mins, came home and took care of my son made dinner, cleaned my house and walked my dogs. So I get it, life isn't easy for some of us but this weight loss thing can be anyway! You can do it!
  • Ambermoon03
    Ambermoon03 Posts: 5 Member
    999tigger wrote: »
    Whilst I can sense you feel you have it tpugh am no quite sure what you are after.

    1. Normal walking or swimming would be fine forms of exercise. In most cases regular exercise helps lessen pain rather than making a situation worse. In any event you do not need to exercise for weight loss. Exercise is mainly for fitness and health, its complmentary, but you can lose weight simply by moderating consumption.
    2. You have a busy life, but so does just about everyone else. If you want to lose, then you have to do it for yourself and whatever limitations you have, then youll need to find ways to work around it. As long as your partner doesnt interfere (disinterest is not interfring) then you should lose the weight for yourself and not be reliant or expect from other people. It keeps it simple.
    3. You can acquire friends to talk to on here and most of them will be losing or trying to.
    4. I dont get why you are discouraged by the MFP projection? I wouldnt rely on it too much it simply multiplies the weekly loss by 5. Often the calories people record are not accurate so it will not work out anyway.
    5. If you are missing out on friendships, then it seems like you are blaming the diet for something it cant be responsible for. How can you stress about spending extra money when in the same paragraph you claim to be broke? if anything dieting will save you money.

    Maybe you should relax, rethink and replan and understand why it is you want to lose weight. This will help refocus and motivate you.

    Have a look at your plan again and see how you can make things easier for yourself, its not worth getting stressed about. This is a good start if you want to familiarise yurself with the basics.
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

    Just after encouragement because I'm not getting it from anywhere else. Sometimes everything together piles up and makes it difficult to keep going without some support, even if it's for myself.

  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
    Ninkyou wrote: »
    I'm not sure how any of that has to do with losing weight. You don't need to do anything extra or special. All you need is a calorie deficit. Work your NORMAL budget-friendly foods into your calorie goal and you will lose weight.

    Actually it has a lot to do with loosing weight. I was in a similar situation for a lot of years. No family no close friends and battling with severe depression. It is hard to care about yourself enough to even try to get healthy in that situation. OP I totally understand..

    Here is the thing. You have to do it for you. I spent 10 years deep in depression after my husband died. I had nobody and for years I just gave up even trying. I was fortunate enough to meet some new friends on line that ZI got to also know in person. One of them pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and try something never would have considered. In 2009 I walked into an aikido dojo for the first time at 285 pounds. There I discovered a world that has turned my whole life around. I made great new friends that became the core of a support system that has helped me to start to heal. I got some self confidence and managed with a lot of effort to get my life together. It was only this year that I found myself strong enough to start working on my weight. It was my friends again who pushed me to try when I wanted to continue to ignore the problem. I am already loosing weight and feeling so much better because of my successes. And my friends are only encouraging me more. Yes friends matter. Family... not as much. Friends are the family you get to choose. Sometimes with family you get a bad hand and you are better off without them in your life.

    Next weekend I will be taking my black belt in aikido. My friends who are also my family will be there.

    I hope that you find the courage to step out of your comfort zone and try something new that could lead you to a happier life. Take a class of some kind, get out of the house and be around people who have similar goals. And give some serious thought to whether you want or deserve to keep people in your life who don't encourage or support you in improving yourself.

    If you ever need a friend... I will try to be there. But I do expect my friends to at least be making an honest effort at self improvement to. ;)


  • Ambermoon03
    Ambermoon03 Posts: 5 Member
    thorsmom01 wrote: »
    I know life gets crazy sometimes and everything becomes overwhelming. But what caught my eye about your post was the sentence about buying special foods for just you to eat. That's not needed at all. I eat what I like, but within moderation and portion control. All you need is a food scale to weigh your portions. Other then that, you don't need to buy anything special. I have a crazy life, today I worked 13 hrs on my feet, went to gym for 35 mins, came home and took care of my son made dinner, cleaned my house and walked my dogs. So I get it, life isn't easy for some of us but this weight loss thing can be anyway! You can do it!

    Thank you. This balance thing is just not my forte!
  • ForeverSunshine09
    ForeverSunshine09 Posts: 966 Member
    There are so many options. First even if your boyfriend was into weight loss chances are he could eat a lot more than you. My husband has had a 2 lb deficit this whole time. He is finally getting to like 1680 range and I have been at 1300-1200 range since starting never technically equaling a 2 lb loss now I am at 1300 calS which is only 80 cals lower than a.5 loss. Secondly, I still eat a lot of the same things I did before losing weight just smaller amounts. You might be better off prelogging for your budget. I prelog so I can shop every 2 weeks for food I am guessing we spend an average of $125 for 2 weeks of just food. Planning ahead is best when you are broke as a joke which we are. Also not spending a lot of time with friends seems more like a lack of time and money than your diet. These are all excuses that ppl will use to convince themselves it is too hard. It isn't. Try doing it for a week even if you just log your normal things to see where you may be able to cut out. Personally we have saved a lot of money being on the diet from not eating out and not planning ahead.
  • TeaCurls
    TeaCurls Posts: 32 Member
    It does sound like you have a lot going on, I think we all feel like it is hopeless at some point. When the scale is not moving in the right direction for a week even though we have been really good, when you are exhausted and do not think you can deal with yet another problem. When hubby is being a jerk, or when the kids are driving you nuts.

    A time saver and money saver for me is meal planing for two weeks at a time, sometimes longer. This way I know what I need from the store and only have to go once every 2 weeks. I can plan my meals effeciently and their is never the headache of what is for dinner. I have to say the meal planning is something fairly new to me but I do not know how I did not do it for so long. I clip coupons with a purpose and end up saving a ton of time and money. Plus going to the grocery store less frequently I am less tempted by the crap (I do make sure I am full before I go to the store and have a list)

    The nice thing about wieght loss it is one thing you have control over unlike so many other things in our lives (I am sure the physiologist and freaking out about this statement). I may not have any control of what is going on at work, or if the water heater goes out, or that my step daugher broke her leg. But I can control my weigh loss. Yes we may not physically be able to lose weight at the rate we would like we can control what and how much we are eating. Either by portion control, or "diet foods."

    I think the food bank is a wonderful idea. In addition, yes some heather options are more expensive but they do not have to be. A bag of beans or lentils is about the same cost as a bag of rice, and the beans are so much better for you. You may have to be a little creative at first but as you get to know the ropes it will get easier. Frozen produce is so much cheaper then fresh. When shopping only buy what is on sale and healthy. Instead of boxes of corn flakes, or cheerios a canister of oatmeal seems to go much further and is much better for you. Home made soups are normally budget friendly. I buy microwave popcorn as a snack instead of chips. The family likes it and it both cost effective and healthy.

    I also suggest not to buying or fixing yourself different food from the rest of the family, as healthy eating habits are positive for them too. I am lucky in the fact my hubby and kids will eat anything I put in front of them (took some training), but they also understands I will never fix them something different then what I am having. If they want to eat then they eat what I fix. That said they do have some of their own treats and snacks.

    I think the food bank idea is wonderful. Also being conscious of food portions has reduced my food bill. Eating the recommend portions has a box of pasta lasting 2 meals not one. Making sure I am having 4 oz. of meat not 8 oz. So while some of the stuff I am buying is more I am buying less.

    In the long run losing weigh makes me feel better about myself. If the 5 week number is overwhelming and oh so far away, give yourself some smaller goals. I want to lose almost 70 lbs. I have lost 50 in the past but have had my own setbacks. But making 2 or 5 lbs goals at a time makes it so much easier to handle. Celebrate the small victories! Best of luck!

  • JanetMMcC
    JanetMMcC Posts: 410 Member
    You've gotten a bunch of great suggestions.

    Over in this discussion,
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/32697924#Comment_32697924
    I listed a bunch of useful-looking websites for someone looking for cheap, healthy recipes.
  • JanetMMcC
    JanetMMcC Posts: 410 Member
    A couple more discussions with good suggestions

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/385369/need-help-cheap-nutritious-and-filling-ideas-for-breakfas

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/527923/need-really-cheap-meal-ideas

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/986350/cheap-veggie-meals

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/618079/help-cheap-healthy-winter-meals

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/31069439#Comment_31069439
  • saraonly9913
    saraonly9913 Posts: 469 Member
    You know you don't have to click "complete entry". I log my food but I never hit complete entry. I don t need mfp tellung me different weights day to day.
  • JanetMMcC
    JanetMMcC Posts: 410 Member
    And, as someone else pointed out, if you're doing the cooking, you get to choose what goes into the pot.

    Try making over your favorite recipes. Cut down on fats and sugars, swap "white carbs" for whole wheat, add veggies. If you're not sure where to start, post one and ask for suggestions. :) Or if, say, the favorite is macaroni and cheese, try a search on
    "macaroni and cheese" healthy
    "macaroni and cheese" slimmed-down
    "macaroni and cheese" makeover

    You can get all of those at once with
    "macaroni and cheese" healthy OR slim OR makeover
    http://tinyurl.com/orkmqng
    oops. Forgot "makeover"
    http://tinyurl.com/oxjwkhe

    And try entirely new recipes. :)

    Measure the total amount of your recipes, and use the recipe tool here to figure out what to count as a serving.

    Don't tell the guys you're making healthy food - just say "Here's dinner." Serve yourself the serving you need, and let them take what they want. If they don't like it, they can make a PBJ or whatever. If you don't like it, go on to another recipe. :)
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
    I was laid off for three months over winter and I went to a local church for food once a month. Most churches you don't even have to be a member. Buy fruits or veggies that are on sale, and only buy enough for the week. Most people tend to buy more than they can eat, and half of it spoils.
  • Ambermoon03
    Ambermoon03 Posts: 5 Member
    shadowfax_c11 wrote: »
    Yes friends matter.

    Next weekend I will be taking my black belt in aikido. My friends who are also my family will be there.

    I hope that you find the courage to step out of your comfort zone and try something new that could lead you to a happier life. Take a class of some kind, get out of the house and be around people who have similar goals. And give some serious thought to whether you want or deserve to keep people in your life who don't encourage or support you in improving yourself.

    If you ever need a friend... I will try to be there. But I do expect my friends to at least be making an honest effort at self improvement to. ;)


    Thank you! I have tried for years to find a way to make new friends. I just can't seem to get it done. I don't think that I'm a horrible person. I have a partner who loves me and we have a wonderful, loving relationship. Cats like me too. (haha) A lot of it has to do with raising kids alone with no financial or emotional support. It just wears you out. But I know it's more than that. Like you said, getting out of my comfort zone...

    Good luck with your black belt!!
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