Binge Eating................ How to stop the emotional roller coaster?
Charlie003
Posts: 1,333 Member
I have a split personality when it comes to diet. I eat really clean, then, when I get stressed or depressed, that bag of Oreo's finds its way into my mouth, I mean at least two rows. I watch the recycling bin fill up with pizza boxes and Chinese Take out Paper bags. The Dairy Queen part timers know my name and I personally become responsible for making my local Mcdonalds profitable. It starts and you do not know it. 50 pounds later, one day, you look in the mirror, and say, how the hell did this happen? It is like waking from a nightmare. Like another person was in your body. But now you are awake, work hard to lose that weight. But how do you stop it from happening again? When your mind goes off script, what can you do?
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See if this metaphor helps, "riding the elephant". I've blogged about it several times.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/jgnatca/view/riding-the-elephant-736034
Imagine your subconscious as the elephant, and your rational self as the rider. If the elephant decides it's gonna do what it's gonna do, that's where you are going! The trick is to make peace with your elephant. Allow treats in guardedly, slowly, without guilt or fear. As soon as your elephant is convinced you're not going to starve it to death, you can come to a reconciliation.
Not that our subconscious is bad. I credit it for romance and falling in love as well as other spontaneous decisions. If rationalism were in charge of our love-life, few of us would ever get married...or have children!0 -
Thats a very good way to put it. But...you are assuming that the binger is capable of see this logic. When circuits get fried, no amount of logic will help. In these cases an automatic override needs to be in place. The question is.....how to implement said override to prevent binge eating when logic is not functioning.0
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Oh, I've been riding this elephant for a while. I talk to it in quiet moments when we're both at peace. When the elephant is stampeding, reasoning takes a back seat. Wait it out and work on it again. The trick is to look for signs of unrest and head it off before it gets out of control. Once you are in for the ride, hang on.0
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Lol! But i WANT TO GET OFF!0
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See, I'm trying to prevent the pattern of repeated failure from trying to halt a stampeding elephant. Here's another list to try if you are determined to stop it mid-way. One tip is to physically put your hand out and say "STOP" (never worked for me)! Another is to tell yourself that you will indulge in "ten minutes". You may even set the timer. You aren't depriving yourself, just delaying gratification. It's supposed to build up your self control. This one hasn't been terribly effective for me either.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/jgnatca/view/halting-a-binge-session-715131
Remember the adage to count to ten? There's some science behind it. There is a time delay before the frontal lobes are engaged. If you can get a person to breathe deeply or count to ten before undertaking a rash action, rationalism has a chance to take over, and offer alternatives to finishing off two rows of Oreos.
What has worked is to allow myself whatever I crave in appropriate amounts. Like five Brookside chocolates. I don't wait too long. I've got a restless elephant to take care of.0 -
It sounds hoo-doo'ish but I have found great results with meditation and replacing my impulse to eat recreationally with an impulse to drink water. Direct replacement was easier than getting rid of the impulse completely. Drinking water always good ... so now I'm a compulsive water drinker instead of a compulsive snacker. I used some meditation techniques to retrain my brain. A good start is a book called "Thin Woman's Brain" that I read and got from Amazon. Good luck!0
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^ You should listen to the advice of persons who have experienced what you're experiencing and have at least some success with overcoming their issues!
It sounds to me like you either hold the view that taking charge of your binge-eating is so difficult that it will be almost impossible and you're kind of self-defeated at the outset, or that you have some method in mind (eating extremely "clean"? getting rid of all trigger foods?) that you want someone to validate so you can feel confident in doing it.
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Those are good suggestions. Reprogramming, might be worth a try.0
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Trust me, you don't want to kill your subconscious. It carries your gut instincts, helps you come to decisions, and allows you to fall in love. Come to peace with it. Indulge a little in your "clean" phase. Come down off your binge sooner.0
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The thing is, I hold no view either way. It just happens. Sneaks up on me. I can get rid of the food, but I order in, the food comes to me. I would be lying if I said that I was a well rounded individual. When the fog hits, it hits. I need to find a way to punch through the fog and hit back. Depression makes for bad decision making, and I will not go on pills to level out and become a zombie. I have an Iron Will when balanced, off kilter, need a leash.^ You should listen to the advice of persons who have experienced what you're experiencing and have at least some success with overcoming their issues!
It sounds to me like you either hold the view that taking charge of your binge-eating is so difficult that it will be almost impossible and you're kind of self-defeated at the outset, or that you have some method in mind (eating extremely "clean"? getting rid of all trigger foods?) that you want someone to validate so you can feel confident in doing it.
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I'm offering a way to integrate your personality. Why would you want to punch out your depressed self? Sounds like he needs a hug.0
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Depressed people, are not depressed over anything specific. I believe that coddling a depressed individual only ligitimises their mental state. They do not need support, they need empowerment. I am not depressed now. So I can think clearly, but, when it hits, rational thought goes out the window. The trick, is to find something to ground yourself during these times.0
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Charlie003 wrote: »
The thing is, I hold no view either way. It just happens. Sneaks up on me. I can get rid of the food, but I order in, the food comes to me. I would be lying if I said that I was a well rounded individual. When the fog hits, it hits. I need to find a way to punch through the fog and hit back. Depression makes for bad decision making, and I will not go on pills to level out and become a zombie. I have an Iron Will when balanced, off kilter, need a leash.^ You should listen to the advice of persons who have experienced what you're experiencing and have at least some success with overcoming their issues!
It sounds to me like you either hold the view that taking charge of your binge-eating is so difficult that it will be almost impossible and you're kind of self-defeated at the outset, or that you have some method in mind (eating extremely "clean"? getting rid of all trigger foods?) that you want someone to validate so you can feel confident in doing it.
I agree with @jgnatca. Love yourself, don't fight yourself! Let your starting point be a place of love and not loathing. This sounds very zen and hippie-ish but it's so true. It makes such a difference.
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Thank you for such a great post. I love the story about riding the elephant. I tend to think of my binge monster as a sleeping dragon that rears its ugly head when I do any of kind of deprivation dieting ie. no bread or no sugar.0
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I do not disagree. But......these things do not come into play when the mind is in flux. Logic has not bearing, if it did, people would not get depressed. I am not talking about being depressed because your your dog died, I am talking about depression caused by biological unbalance. I am looking for a tether to reality in those times.0
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as a person with depression, I do sometimes need support. sometimes, you just need to be still. I don't want anyone trying to empower me. ugh. It's completely intrusive.
Rationale does not need to go out the window when you are depressed. There is retraining of the mind that can be done. if I eat this, then what, and then what and then etc. If I stay in bed....
Play the tape thru and if it doesn't take you where you want to be then it isn't that action that is best to take. having that tool can help me move thru depression with as few hostages/casualties as possible
meditation is good, exercise is a good replacement.
I like to ask myself why am I eating this.0 -
Short term: Reduce your exposure to those foods you have a weakness for. Get them out of the house. No, it doesn't solve the issue of self control, however, it makes binge eating that much more difficult. Part of self control is knowing your limits.
Long term: Find out why you are triggered by these foods. At one hospital I worked, I became friendly with a nutritionist and a psychologist. Long story short (this will probably be perceived as flaky), after speaking at length to both of them, it was explained to me that unhealthy eating eating habits are classic regression psychology. When you are sad or stressed the the enormously complex electrochemical reactions in your brain react to reduce this. It's your brain that harbors your memories, your emotions, and also the neural processes that manage your digestion and metabolism. It's all connected in the gray pudding up there. So, when you feel sad, your brain looks back and says what has historically made me feel better. Well, when we were good kids, dad bought us donuts and made food easy for us. I felt loved and happy then, and I deserve too now, maybe it will work now. Sadly, it wasn't good then and it's not good now. However, the electroneural pathways in our brains have made ruts in our brains by constant reinforcement and are hard to change.
If possible, start to think of food as simple fuel and not as an instrument for soothing negative emotions. It's WAY easier said than done, however.
Take it or leave it. Someone will be along shortly to discount this as touchy-feely crap and just say you don't have enough will power or just don't want it enough.0 -
Charlie003 wrote: »Depressed people, are not depressed over anything specific. I believe that coddling a depressed individual only ligitimises their mental state. They do not need support, they need empowerment. I am not depressed now. So I can think clearly, but, when it hits, rational thought goes out the window. The trick, is to find something to ground yourself during these times.
I am suggesting that both your selves are you, but you legitimize only one half. So the other half is gonna break out of boot camp once in a while and have a good time on the town.
Though depression may be chemical and generalized, my depressions have a root cause. It might be SAD. It could be a relationship dysfunction that I am ignoring. My depression will come back if I don't address the root cause. I don't tell my inner self to knuckle under and just take it.
To ground yourself, I'm suggesting you find peace with yourself. All of you.
Coddling. Pish. Acknowledge. Legitimize. Allow the weaker feelings a safe way to express themselves. Maybe then you won't have to resort to food.
Now for chemical imbalance like bipolar disorder or chronic depression, medication may be the only way out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBjl7yqLWOw0 -
Hi Charlie, everything you've written resonates nearly exactly with my experience.
I also am chronically depressed, but choose to abstain from medication because I don't want to lose all sense of who I am. I, too, waver between bouts of iron will (meeting calorie and exercise goals, eating and avoiding the "right" and "wrong" foods) and helpless binge eating.
The binge eating is triggered by my emotional state - when I'm anxious or unhappy, I'll eat EVERYTHING in reach (sugar, simple carbohydrates, protein, or fat in that order), well beyond the feeling of full or satiation. I'll be stuffed and sick and still eating, because I'm eating to affect the chemicals in my brain and bring them to a place of calm. I don't purge, I just feel disgusted later and usually respond by sticking to my healthy plan with a vengeance...for a few days, until the next binge.
Just because I rationally understand my binges doesn't mean I can control them. Here's what has helped me, though, and maybe could help you too:- Eliminate things in your environment that don't serve you. The toxic foods and beverages that you know you love to binge on. Delete the takeout numbers from your phone and throw away the menus. Make a list before grocery shopping and make it a competitive shopping trip - get in and get the hell out. There's no time to browse the chip and soda aisles!!
- Get support from family members and friends. Tell them you need a little help. Ask them to support you and not ask you to go out for pizza (can we go somewhere with more options instead?) or keep certain foods in the house where you'll find them.
- Get professional support, if you can. Talking to a therapist can help you find peace with yourself and relieve some of the internal pressures that lead to binges.
- Focus on discipline - doing what you don't want to do, because you know you should. If it's too overwhelming to address everything all at once, pick one thing. "Today I will not eat candy, because I said I wouldn't, and I keep my word." Start by keeping little promises to yourself the way you would keep them to others.
- Exercise does wonder for the body and mind, especially with depression. I can't make myself get outside every day and go for a run or walk or yoga class, but when I do, I never regret it.
I barely have my own life under control, so I shouldn't be offering advice, but your post really speaks to me because we're going through the same things. There is no easy answer to binge eating, but hopefully one or two of these suggestions could be helpful to you in your journey.
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Charlie003 wrote: »I have a split personality when it comes to diet. I eat really clean, then, when I get stressed or depressed, that bag of Oreo's finds its way into my mouth, I mean at least two rows. I watch the recycling bin fill up with pizza boxes and Chinese Take out Paper bags. The Dairy Queen part timers know my name and I personally become responsible for making my local Mcdonalds profitable. It starts and you do not know it. 50 pounds later, one day, you look in the mirror, and say, how the hell did this happen? It is like waking from a nightmare. Like another person was in your body. But now you are awake, work hard to lose that weight. But how do you stop it from happening again? When your mind goes off script, what can you do?
I didn't read all the replies, but my advice is to tackle the real problem that is causing this. Depression and/or other psychiatric issues. Otherwise, you are bound to repeat the cycle over and over again. Does your extended medical offer $$ for psychologist/psychiatric visits? There are a LOT of psychiatrists that deal with emotional eating.
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Hi Charlie, everything you've written resonates nearly exactly with my experience.
I also am chronically depressed, but choose to abstain from medication because I don't want to lose all sense of who I am.
common misconception of what medication can do. yes, some medications can do that but the right medication can work miracles. its a matter of finding the right one with the help of your doctor.
Saying things like that only keeps people from asking for help because they are afraid this will happen.
Due to medication, I found myself admist the fog and swamp of my depression and anxiety
Medication may not be needed for everyone. but let's not perpetuate myths
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this i agree and struggle with also, when a binge hits i restrict it till 12am so my next day can be fresh start. I forgive myself and talk to myself as if i would a friend in that position. Whats done is done, try not to make it anyworse, have a bath and a good sleep yada yad. Moat of the time it works for me but once in a while ill have a whole binge week and then hate myself for it. It's a hard battle my friend but with some trying iut different methods and determination and awareness of what sets off your binges. They qill get less and lessCharlie003 wrote: »Depressed people, are not depressed over anything specific. I believe that coddling a depressed individual only ligitimises their mental state. They do not need support, they need empowerment. I am not depressed now. So I can think clearly, but, when it hits, rational thought goes out the window. The trick, is to find something to ground yourself during these times.
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Moyer,
I can only speak to my experience. Medication is certainly a good option for many, but it is not the only option. I am at a place where I am surviving without medication, a decision which has been acknowledged and supervised by my doctor, and I think that is a reality for lots of people with chronic depression. My doctor and I have been unable to find a medication that alleviates the depression without side effects that are, at least in my opinion, as bad as or worse than the depression itself. If I can cope without it, why not?
I don't appreciate your attempt to invalidate my experience as a "myth" because you disagree with it.
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Charlie003 wrote: »Depressed people, are not depressed over anything specific. I believe that coddling a depressed individual only ligitimises their mental state. They do not need support, they need empowerment. I am not depressed now. So I can think clearly, but, when it hits, rational thought goes out the window. The trick, is to find something to ground yourself during these times.
I am suggesting that both your selves are you, but you legitimize only one half. So the other half is gonna break out of boot camp once in a while and have a good time on the town.
Though depression may be chemical and generalized, my depressions have a root cause. It might be SAD. It could be a relationship dysfunction that I am ignoring. My depression will come back if I don't address the root cause. I don't tell my inner self to knuckle under and just take it.
To ground yourself, I'm suggesting you find peace with yourself. All of you.
Coddling. Pish. Acknowledge. Legitimize. Allow the weaker feelings a safe way to express themselves. Maybe then you won't have to resort to food.
Now for chemical imbalance like bipolar disorder or chronic depression, medication may be the only way out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBjl7yqLWOw
jgnatca is wise.0 -
bogvarmint wrote: ».... I forgive myself and talk to myself as if i would a friend in that position. Whats done is done, try not to make it anyworse, have a bath and a good sleep yada yad....
I think positive self talk and forgiveness, at least as much as we would offer a friend, is so important.0 -
Medication may not be needed for everyone. but let's not perpetuate myths
@serribrat , I believe the myth that must be challenged is that all medications rob the patient of their personality. I don't think there was any intent to invalidate your experience.
I don't think it is a fail if someone needs medication to overcome depression.0 -
Thank you for sharing your story. And all the replies.. so helpful! I too, am struggling with this battle. Depression sucksss... emotional eating sucks... but it's even harder to find "what is the trigger".. so when someone asks that, what do you say?! I don't know why.. except for I get sad, upset, etc. But there's always more.0
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@woznube7 , a strategy might be as simple as this:
I am tempted in to emotional eating (anger) after a stressful day at work. I deal with this in several ways. I have a controlled snack before I leave work so I am not legitimately hungry. I have hard, crunchy foods available like popcorn and celery if I really need to chow down. I go for a walk or do some mindful breathing to get myself in to a different emotional state.
So understanding the cause doesn't mean that I must, say, resolve the unresolvable (work idiot), but I can control my environment and my responses so that I am guided to a healthier response.0 -
@jgnatca: Yes, thank you. Those are a few things that I have been trying to incorporate. But old habits die hard. Not that I CAN'T, because I CAN. Just have to remind myself that I can and will and am good enough, etc. That is where I struggle. That is where the tornado happens.
It's a matter of perfection and being too hard on myself. And I get it. I do, but it's hard going forward and taking steps back to not want to give up. The disappointment is torture in itself.0 -
Very insightful replies. Medication, well, the ones I have been given, turns men into women, if you get me, so....no. Plus, it does make emotions harder to come by. You do not feel, like a Vulcan. This is my experience. As I said, my issues are chemical. So, loving myself, is not an issue. I know what I am, and I know what I need, I just have not found the vehicle that will drive the solution.0
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