Fat

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JosieZeee
JosieZeee Posts: 33 Member
in Motivation and Support
"She's so fat"
My mother just called me fat. Or "so fat". I've been on a diet and working out by doing circuit training for about a month now. There haven't been any changes in my weight or appearance and hearing my mother calling me fat just made my self esteem hit rock bottom. Ever since I got sick I've put on so much weight and I'm trying to get back to my original weight but now I'm discouraged and I feel like *kitten*. She's always putting me down. She even told me that I wouldn't make it through nursing school. I worked so hard and now I'm graduating in two days. But I was depressed and felt stupid during the progress of my whole degree. Now I hear that I'm fat, and again I feel disgusted; even more so when I look at myself.

During a makeup event, a friend's first impression of an old highschool classmate was "she's gotten big". It was such a mean judgemental thing to say and thought wow... I wonder what you'd say about me behind my back.

Replies

  • Marilyn0924
    Marilyn0924 Posts: 797 Member
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    First things first...congrats on graduating!! Nursing is not easy, not for everyone and you did it! Be proud, savour your victory!!

    Second, sometimes you gotta be a duck and let the words roll off your back like water. It is never easy hearing that kind of criticism from a parent/family member.

    Use that determination that got you through nursing and use it for yourself. Make the good choices, keep doing what you're doing and the results will come.

    Feel free to add me for support.
    :)
  • JosieZeee
    JosieZeee Posts: 33 Member
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    Thanks so much, it really is hard hearing that from family. But I know it'll take time and I need to be diligent with this. I need to believe that I am able to do this
  • jamielynbrown24
    jamielynbrown24 Posts: 21 Member
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    I went from thin to obese within a year of getting married, and besides several people asking if I was pregnant my grandmother told my husband to stop letting me eat so much. So I'm with you. It hurts when the people you care about say hurtful things about you. I went through all these emotions like "I want to stay the way I am who cares what they think?!" To "I want people to notice me skinnier" to realizing that I just had to do it for myself, for my own self esteem and whatever compliments come with that then great. But don't give up. I'm nowhere near my goal but I'm still not giving up. Screw everyone else lol :) it's just about finding a way to be comfortable in your own skin. You can do it. Remember it's a slow process but slow and steady wins the race.
  • kats5225
    kats5225 Posts: 9 Member
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    I feel you my mom says im fat and should just accept it. My whole family is in shape and are obsessed with their weight and image, so each time i am around them they like to rub in my face about how in shape they are. So this time i am losing weight not telling anyone and proving them wrong about it. Add me I know exactly what your going through
  • ihatetodietalways
    ihatetodietalways Posts: 180 Member
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    Marilyn0924 wrote: »
    First things first...congrats on graduating!! Nursing is not easy, not for everyone and you did it! Be proud, savour your victory!!

    Second, sometimes you gotta be a duck and let the words roll off your back like water. It is never easy hearing that kind of criticism from a parent/family member.

    Use that determination that got you through nursing and use it for yourself. Make the good choices, keep doing what you're doing and the results will come.

    Feel free to add me for support.
    :)

    ditto
  • TheRealBill
    TheRealBill Posts: 28 Member
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    jamielynbrown24 wrote: »
    I went from thin to obese within a year of getting married, and besides several people asking if I was pregnant my grandmother told my husband to stop letting me eat so much. So I'm with you. It hurts when the people you care about say hurtful things about you. I went through all these emotions like "I want to stay the way I am who cares what they think?!" To "I want people to notice me skinnier" to realizing that I just had to do it for myself, for my own self esteem and whatever compliments come with that then great. But don't give up. I'm nowhere near my goal but I'm still not giving up. Screw everyone else lol :) it's just about finding a way to be comfortable in your own skin. You can do it. Remember it's a slow process but slow and steady wins the race.

    Exactly right!
  • fattybattyy
    fattybattyy Posts: 31 Member
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    My mom was like that when I was a teenager...and it led to an eating disorder. It always hurts the most when the people that are supposed to nurture us end up hurting us. But like other posters have said- its hard, but try and tone it out. You are making progress, changes and that's what counts. Hang in there, and feel free to add me if you want to! (We are almost the same age)
  • GladiatorGoddess
    GladiatorGoddess Posts: 1 Member
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    Congrats Girl! I'm on week 4 of working out 4~5 days a week and no VISIBLE changes either. My eating has gotten better, yet I have to admit that is the hardest part. Especially when you are surrounded by negativity. Your mother sounds a lot like my father. Unfortunately, he thought those words would somehow motivate me. Little did he realize it made me want to eat a sundae or chocolate because I allowed him to make me feel....unworthy. Did you try talking with your Mom about it?
    Keep up what you've been doing. I know it's helping even if we can't see it on the outside. Did you take measurement? If not, I strongly suggest doing this. If your weight is the same yet you are losing inches, that means you're gaining muscle! I'm starting my journey for the second time at 356.4 lbs. You can do this! We can do this! I'm proud of you and DON'T LET ANYONE, ESPECIALLY YOURSELF, STAND IN YOUR WAY! YOLO!
  • half_moon
    half_moon Posts: 807 Member
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    I can't imagine. I am so sorry that your mother treats you that way. Have you ever considered asking her why she treats you badly?
  • GWehsling
    GWehsling Posts: 120 Member
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    I have a friend who started a diet, started to do well, had visible signs of success and her mum buys her cupcakes now. She never used to.

    I told her that is how some women show that they are jealous - poisoned apples.

    It's probably not a good time to have a chat with your mum if you are feeling low, but it would pay to try and work out what it is that is bugging her about you.

    BTW, I know two things about you, you are a successful graduate, you are determined to get yourself in good shape. I admire both of those things and wish you success.
  • x311Tifa
    x311Tifa Posts: 357 Member
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    I get that. Even at my thinnest in my teens *which was on the high end of normal,* I was desperately trying to lose weight to keep up with my mom's standards. Now, over 100lbs+ from there, I can't imagine her thoughts (though she is wayy cooler now. Gotta love both sides growing up and learning). Either way, feel free to add me for support. I'm starting over again and somewhat hiding it from general public knowledge.

    And, as I'm learning now (it's hard for me to get the mentality too, so I completely understand), you gotta do this for YOU. Prove it to yourself. Don't let her negativity get to you. You graduated, CONGRATS. You are working on improving yourself, CONGRATS.
  • JosieZeee
    JosieZeee Posts: 33 Member
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    You guys are so right, thanks a bunch everyone! I'm gonna go workout.
  • JosieZeee
    JosieZeee Posts: 33 Member
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    half_moon wrote: »
    I can't imagine. I am so sorry that your mother treats you that way. Have you ever considered asking her why she treats you badly?

    Honestly I think she doesn't have a filter. She doesn't understand that she says things that hurt people's feelings...
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Some light reading for you, Toxic Parents. What parent in their right mind would undermine their child's success? Parents who aren't in their right mind, that's who. You need some emotional distance from this woman.

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