HELP? Ideas to motivate unhealthy teen daughter?

If you've suggested she try to get healthy and have done it in an encouraging manner and she's declining, she has to live with those consequences. Girls especially could potentially become very scarred by their mothers insisting they be healthy, lose weight, etc. If you want to keep talking to her, I would just say you emphasize you're getting healthy and you want her to be healthy and live a long time as well. My mother never pushed me to lose weight but my dad mentioned it to me one time when I was 16, I broke down crying, and then ended up starting to eat healthier and losing the weight because I disgusted myself. My parents have always been overweight and I never wanted to be like them so I've always exercised because of that. All this to say that everyone is different but you shouldn't push it too much or she could start to resent you.

yeah. I was kind of always a chubby kid and my mom would give me "helpful hints" on exercising and losing weight and it just made me feel fat and unloved and I would go on crash diets that never worked. Now at 23, I'm the lowest weight I've been in the last 8 years, and it was because no one was pushing me to lose weight. I wanted to do it for myself. The most you can do is do your thing being healthy, but don't push it on her or it'll just give her self-esteem issues or make her think that you don't accept her. I know, because that's what my mom did.

dont push too hard..
my mom did- she would tell me I couldnt have something so I would sneak and have 3.

I started my first fad diet at 15 - pills, shakes, gym rat you name it and lok where it got me - 34 years old and still fighting the if they dont see me eat it it doesnt count monster...

all you can do is provider her the tools to be healthy..... how about friends of hers... maybe get someone else to help to get her more active. its hard to hear it coming from Mom if the issue is pushed too hard... I ended up with a lot of self doubt issues....

its tough but good luck.. and like I said just provide her the tools....

I do not have children of my own, but my nieces and nephews are very close to. One of my nieces, who is 12 years old now, was on the verge of becoming obese. She would even sneak to the kitchen in the middle of the night and eat. When I realized that was happening, I just sat her down and had a talk with her and told her how concerned I was. She’s young, so I tried to keep it as innocent as possible, trying not to cause her a complex when she gets older. For every 5 lbs lost, I take her shopping, because that’s what she likes. If your daughter is not into clothes, maybe try rewarding her with things that she enjoys.

My 17 year old son won the battle of childhood obesity. Bless his heart, he was so heavy at one point... high blood pressure, weight, BMI, etc was at dangerous levels!

I never pushed him with "activities", but made the choices available (he took karate lessons for a while & enjoyed that... and joined the marching band for a couple of years, and enjoyed that).

I DID, however, made available healthy food choices at home... and even when we went out. We have obliterated McDonald's from our diet! (Sorry Micky D's!) Also, when I would go for a run... I'd invite him to go follow me on his bicycle to keep me company! Not for HIS workout, but for MINE.

He is now in the Show Choir at school (he's always loved music)... he also is on the football team, runs track and takes an advanced physical conditioning (weights) class at school.

I think the KEY is to most of all... lead by example in all you do! :flowerforyou:

I'm the same way... my younger brother is overweight, and Im trying to get him started in watching what he eats and get him working out. I bought him new running shoes (because he always would wear converse), shared with him this MMA Diet pamphlet i found, and signed him, my husband and myself up for a Warrior Dash in September... its something that's supposed to be out there as a fun thing. Its working... we went shopping the other day and he didn't pick up soda or chips or any over possessed foods, lots of veggies and organic foods. Its all about adjusting your way of "Marketing" the diet idea to the individual.

Being healthy is a family thing. If your cooking healthy food, and only have healthy snacks in the house. Try to limit what your cooking to one serving per person... and make sure shes not confusing hunger for thirst. (My 3 year old does this every 15 minutes hes hungry.. no hes thirsty, hes just confusing the two) But showing her by example that she can have everything she wants to eat, but in moderation as well.

But being a girl, and 15 puts you in a tricky situation. Pushing too hard she might rebel, or choose maybe to take your words too much to heart and give her self a bad body image... and that just starts down a bad path. 15 year olds change sooo much... dont overly stress because she may find something in HS that inspires her to be more active and shed the weight. Just remember how you were at 15... VASTLY different then how you were at 18, and 21, and 25 and so on... so don't get too caught up on her BMI levels or if shes balking at stuff because her body is still growing, and so are her tastes.

To jump start the "its okay to be active" plan family outings. Try new things like walking/running a 5k for something that she or both of you support. Try new sports like rock climbing or yoga or even softball, soccer or volleyball. Try these things together or separate (you might find a sport you like and didnt know it too!) See about going to the YMCA, our Y has a Gym just for women, and the girls can go in there and not have to work out in front of boys...also with it getting hot, the outdoor pool will burn tons of calories. If you also encourage her to keep singing, and playing guitar, and not shut her off of things she likes to do shows that your not stopping her or trying to "change her" just letting her get more involved in what the family should do for activities will help.

Good Luck!

I do not have children of my own, but my nieces and nephews are very close to. One of my nieces, who is 12 years old now, was on the verge of becoming obese. She would even sneak to the kitchen in the middle of the night and eat. When I realized that was happening, I just sat her down and had a talk with her and told her how concerned I was. She’s young, so I tried to keep it as innocent as possible, trying not to cause her a complex when she gets older. For every 5 lbs lost, I take her shopping, because that’s what she likes. If your daughter is not into clothes, maybe try rewarding her with things that she enjoys.

I would briber her to work out, rather than to lose weight.

At this point, you have already got her to eat healthier foods - don't worry so much about how much. Focus on food choices and exercise.

I would invest in a Wii Fit game, they are fun fort the whole family and the two of you can do it together.
She's at the age too where she doesnt want to do much out with mom and she's feeling depressed about herself weight etc.
It's the time for mom to understand, and never say anything about her weight or exercise.
Just ask her, I'm thinking on buying a Wii would you use something like that if I get it because I dont want to spend the $$$ on myself. Then, if she says yes, you do it together.

This is a very good post for me too. I have a 10 yo daughter who is getting a little heavy in her belly just recently. Some of it might be due to bloating but some it is due to lack of activity (consistent daily activity) and not so much eating unhealthy food. It also could be a growth spurt... my kids tend to grow "out" and then "up". But I can tell that my "helpful suggestions" of getting outside and doing some exercise (by just playing or whatever) is not really making an inpact and maybe even making things worse. She was very upset that she went up another pant/short size and I told her that she is growing still so this is to be expected, and not something to try to prevent. I have also mentioned that she should try to seek a balanced diet, and NOT trying to skip meals. (She has mentioned how she will skip a meal if I mention that her serving size is way above what it should be or as a way to get back at me for making a comment about what she is eating.) Since the boys are naturally thin, I also make a point of telling her that everyone had a different body type and that the boys (our boys) can eat pretty much anything they want and it's not fair but they stay thin. I did tell her that the boys have to be concerned about eating more protein than they do or they wont have the muscles/strength that they want. Another words, the boys will have their own health issues to contend with. I try to tell her that she and I have a similar, athletic body type and we're never going to be "thin" or "skinny" but that's okay because we have a natural athleticism and strength and those things will help us to stay healthy and active. It's a tight rope Im walking here and I know it. I want her to be happy (and grateful) with the body that God gave her but also be mindful that it can be difficult at times in our culture to stay active and eat healthy in such a way that we are treating our bodies like the temple. Sometimes I personally feel that I have to be almost obsessive in my routine to get the results that I want (in running or just weight loss) for my own body. I really dont want her to have to think about it so much as I do (She's a child!) but on the other hand, I want to educate my child so that she is knowledgable of the choices that she is going to have to make in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle... without being unhealthy and obsessive about it.

I bought my daughter wii games Dance,Resort, Fit and Zumba . She likes it so much. especially on weekends my both kids like to play wii rather than watching TV. She is also doing Tae Kwon Do. But does not likes to play sport. Last summer I enrolled in 1 week basketball and 1 week soccer camp to just try which one she will prefer, because it was only for week not the whole season she agreed to signing up.

Why not try get her to join a fun class. Does not have to be a sport maybe the likes of zumba which is great.

This just came in a Weight Watchers email:
Get the kids off to a healthy start and boost your own weight-loss by making fitness a family affair



TV and video games are sometimes stiff competition for physical activity.Try these activity boosting tips to get your kids off the couch and out of the house this fall.

Do it together
Kids love it when their parents join the game. So walk with them to the park, throw a Frisbee, fly a kite or kick a ball around. You're more likely to keep at an activity if it's something you enjoy. Let them tag along as you play ball, fish, hike, camp, surf or cycle. Kids enjoy making things, so set them a concrete goal, such as building a go-cart or clubhouse. This not only gets them moving, it brings about a sense of achievement.

Make it routine
Rather than trying to work "quality fitness time" into your family schedule—which can often get bumped as more urgent tasks take priority—add movement to everyday activities. If your children's pocket money is conditional on performing chores, for example, make the chores more activity-based (walking the dog, washing the windows or car, raking leaves or running errands). Don't drive them to social engagements; encourage them to walk or ride their bikes instead.

Make outings more active
Even so-called passive entertainments such as museums and theme parks can involve physical exertion (Disneyland, for example, extends over 185 acres, including parking; that's a lot of territory for little legs to cover!) The kids want to go to the movies? Walk at least part of the way to the theater. It's raining? Opt for energetic indoor pursuits such as bowling. Or turn up the stereo and have a dance contest.

Keep it simple
You don't need a garage full of sports equipment to have fun. The more structured an activity, the more likely a child's fickle attention span is to switch off. They'll get at least as much entertainment out of a ball (soccer, handball, basketball), a length of rope (skipping), a piece of chalk (hopscotch, sidewalk art) or nothing at all (leapfrog, hide-and-seek, tag).

Don't make an issue out of it
Nothing is guaranteed to turn kids off faster than nagging or harping on the benefits of exercise. It really doesn't matter which activities they participate in, or even how good they are at them as long as they keep it up. The key is making fun options available, while reducing less healthful ones, such as computer games.

Turn off the tube
According to a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association children lose weight if they simply watch less TV. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that viewing be limited to one to two hours of "quality programming" per day, by contrast with the current average of over four hours daily; that adds up to almost 12 years parked in front of the TV by the age of 70!

Not only does TV take away from more active pursuits, but the average U.S. child has also viewed 360,000 advertisements before graduating from high school; many are for fatty snack foods, reinforcing unhealthy habits.

Make it safe
Many parents, frightened of strangers or busy streets, are tempted to keep their child safely indoors. But by tacitly encouraging inactivity, they're actually courting dangers of a different sort, since lack of exercise is linked with significant health problems later in life, including obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular problems and osteoporosis.

If you want to safeguard your children, go with them to the park or playground; always supervise potentially risky activities such as swimming. You don't always have time to oversee playtime? Check into the activities offered at playgroups, neighborhood centers or summer camps, then choose a program run by responsible adults.