Anyone with prior Eating disorder?

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discretekim
discretekim Posts: 314 Member
edited June 2015 in Introduce Yourself
So my weight has been all over. From underweight to stable. To nearly underweight and now to overweight. I was shocked to find out I am overweight previously having an eating disorder. I purposely didn't weigh myself for years. Now I am about 6 pounds overweight. And 20-30 more than I had ever maintained previously. Anyone here with similar issues? How do you lose without going into crazy eating disorder mode? Also I have been trying for about 3 weeks but I'm lacking consistency. I will have good days. Then I'll eat junk food or too much. I've lost only about a half to one pound so far. Also far any prior Ed people do you think you have an accurate body image? I feel like I look good. But obviously this must be distorted because I'm overweight.

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  • towg916
    towg916 Posts: 1 Member
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    Ive struggled with an ed ever since i was about 9 years old. i always felt i was to fat to fit in. Ive realized that i needed to stop looking at others around me and focus on how i think i should look. i still pay attention to what i eat, but it helps to have someone pay attention also. because us as human tend to lie to ourselves. i found it easier for me to eat little snacks through out the day instead of 3 big meals because it makes me feel like im not eating so much. and since you have also struggled with an ed you know that everything you put in your mouth you regret. so the smaller my meals the easier it is for me to feel okay about eating it. while i am still getting the nutrition i need because im eating multiple times a day.
  • pandroid7
    pandroid7 Posts: 1 Member
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    Hi discretekim! Came across your thread because I was actually seeking a little support on the same subject. I am a recovered anorexic who is now plus size. I have been basically every size from 2-16. :) I haven't tried to diet or restrict calories in about 10 years because I had the same fear you did. Now that I am logging calories on here, I find that sometimes I do indeed find myself slipping into the old ways, thinking about food nearly constantly and starting to feel guilty about normal calories amounts.

    Here's my advice. Do you have a therapist who you trust and who knows your ED past (not that it's ever completely in the past of course, that is the beast of ED)? If not, get one. When I feel myself starting to slip back into those old thought patterns, I let her know and we discuss it and deal with it BEFORE it spirals into truly disordered eating. Also, I signed a release that enables my therapist to talk with my primary care doctor. My primary doctor is also aware of my ED history, so having them communicate about it if it starts to become a problem is another great safeguard I have in place.

    I also agree with towg916 about having others around you who pay attention to your eating habits. Having a support system of friends and/or family who can notice that your eating habits are starting to change for the worse really helps to keep it in check before you get far enough into it to relapse. The small meals is a good tip too.

    If worse comes to worse and you find that tracking your food on here is messing with your head too much, STOP. Step away from myfitnesspal and try to reach out to a Dr. or your friends before deciding whether or not to continue food tracking.

    Lastly, don't let go of that positive body image you are getting! If you feel like you look good, TRUST that. I know this is something that every ED patient has to take their time with, and I know that another person's words are often useless when we're in the grips of ED, but I hope you're in a place where you can hear me on that. :) 6 lbs overweight is a very small amount. Many, many people are healthy and beautiful while slightly overweight. Don't let go of those positive feelings that are poking through!
  • discretekim
    discretekim Posts: 314 Member
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    Wow. Thank you! It really is hard to find balance but I am trying. Yeah I am fortunate to have a great therapist I've seen for eight years but I only see him about once a month. He was actually the one who said I might be gaining weight and should look into it. Although he said I should see a nutritionist, I'm stubborn. I live in a different city from my therapist now which is why I see him so infrequently.
    It is a really odd feeling to try to lose weight while also knowing how important it is to not go down the rabbit hole. I really just want to be healthy and i know that is more of a lifestyle thing than a number on the scale. But it is strange too to have been so many different sizes.
    Anyway thanks for the support I definitely am hopeful I can do this properly And I'm sure we all can if we keep the right goals in mind. I want to be healthy so that I am in the best shape when I aim to start a family.
  • krissydelrio
    krissydelrio Posts: 7 Member
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    I had an eating disorder for about 5 years until I said enough is enough. I sought therapy and slowly started going back to normal. I also had situational depression which didn't help. I mainly binged and occasionally purged. It was the worst time of my life. From experience I can say never restrict any foods you love. You can still lose weight, you just need to fit your treats into your calorie budget. Works wonders for me. Being too extreme will always end up in failure. Just focus on being healthy and active and don't deprive yourself! Save big meals for special occasions. My husband and I go out to eat and splurge about once a month. We look forward to it because we feel like we earned it and don't feel guilty! Even if you ever do slip up, it's fine, it happens, keep moving forward and everything in moderation :)
  • StacyJ8888
    StacyJ8888 Posts: 23 Member
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    I went from 300 to 135 in my early 20's to 400+ in my 30's ..now I am at 315 at 43 and shooting for a healthy 140-150 in 2-3 years. There is no 'normal' for me, either I choose to starve myself or I choose to over eat.

    Going down to 135 involved purging, laxatives, walking 10-20 miles per day, dexatrim (the old banned stuff) and extreme calorie restriction (100-500 calories per day). I was banned from my gym because they felt I was out of control, my trainer caught me walking there (10 miles) for workouts and my doctor threatened to commit me to an ED treatment program unless I gained 20 pounds fast, while I was still sitting there talking about losing another 20-30 pounds. I hurt myself at work after a 2 years of maintaining and shot up to 170 (workman's comp doctor referred to me as "obese" in a report and I spiraled it just started creeping back on and then I packed on the protective layers in a very..very..bad marriage.

    So far, between gluten free eating(5+ years now), weighing my food and using MFP I feel like I have enough "rules" to follow and as long as I am losing I don't feel the need to go too extreme, I feel like I am in "control" enough. I like that MFP warns you if you are too low for the day and I will eat something to make the warning go away so I can close out my day. I still come in under my calorie allotment but never go below 1200 for the day.I do notice myself challenging that remaining 300-400 calories per day, I know I should eat those calories even if I am not hungry, usually I don't unless my protein is way under...that might be something I need to be careful of going forward.

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