VERY OFF Topic--I'm depressed

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24

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  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
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    I've got no advice, but I can feel your pain through your words.....*Hugs for you*:heart:
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    I have not experienced something like this, and I hope to God to never have to.

    I'm so sorry for what you are going through, and I just don't know what to say except it is NOT YOUR FAULT, and whether he is gone permanently or does come back eventually, it will get better and the choice for you will be clear.

    :flowerforyou:
  • fitnhealthyccthatsme
    fitnhealthyccthatsme Posts: 359 Member
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    I've been in your shoes.I have Christian advice, but only if you want to hear it. If you need prayer & guidance, message me. :-)

    Please remember Jesus Loves You and wants to help you get thru this.
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
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    very sorry! not much i can say as ive never been married. but i do know wat it feels like to be in love and be cheated on by that man u love. and it hurts like hell. just try to stay positive for ur kids. i hope u get to feeling better and realize that u are wayyy more then what he will ever deserve.
  • smylee1173
    smylee1173 Posts: 15
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    I've been in your shoes, the only difference we didnt have kids. The advice I can try to give you is join kickboxing and relieve some stress and definitely go speak to a therapist, this is definitely not your fault. YOU WILL NEVER EVER KNOW WHY HE IS DOING THIS TO YOU. It will never be the answer your looking for. It will take time to heal but no time soon. For now just stay strong and be happy with your children.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    Until you move on, your life is in limbo and you can't move forward. It's a terrible blow, but you can't make him change. If he decides to come back, you will be forever looking for the signs that he is cheating again. And he will.
  • jojosmojitos
    jojosmojitos Posts: 14
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    This sounds like a terribly painful situation. I agree with many others here that you need to talk it out, cry it out and eventually you will realize that this wasn't your fault and you absolutely had no control over his behavior. My guess is that his cold callus tone was more because he was trying not to feel selfish or guilty while he said those painful words to you. You can't change what he has done or what he will do, but you can focus on yourself and your kids. Your family needs you and you need them too. I wish you the best in this and know that all the strength and resilience you need is right inside yourself!
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
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    *Hugs*

    All i can say is no matter what you tell yourself you did not deserve what he has done/is still doing to you.
    My sister has gone through the same thing the past year(her daughters were 9 months & 2 at the time)
    All i can say is it will get easier. The 3 of them moved back home with my parents for a year. Make sure you surround your self with people that love you. Go speak to someone sometimes it takes another person to show you how strong you really are.
    He made his choice. Do what is best for you and your children.
    A year on my sister has her own place,is working & is also in college doing a degree at night as well as raising two amazing little girls and she has honestly never been happier so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just put yourself and children first. I am so sorry you are going through this.

    x
  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
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    *hugssssss* You will get through this, honey... We're all here for you... And you do NOT deserve to be cheated on, NO ONE DOES!! Cheating is a sign of weak character and obviously he has weak character, and therefore does not deserve a beautiful, strong lady like yourself! No matter what happens, don't give up on you, because you're beautiful. And life will get better eventually, you'll see. You will find your inner strength and carry on. But for now continue to let those feelings out and flush them out, because that's the only way to heal.
    :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • aharmeson
    aharmeson Posts: 55
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    I offer my condolences. Im sorry to here that your going thru this. Stay strong and just know that eventually it will get better. I can only sepculate how you must feel but one thing I would recommend is think of your children whenever you start to get down on yourself. They need you and you need them. Keep you chin up and make sure to take care of yourself and your children and everything will work its way out. A saying I have been told that has helped me is this "i know God wont give me anything I cant handle, but sometime I wish he didn;t trust me so much."

    Hang in there and invite some of us as friends. Feel free to message me if you would like to talk to someone.
  • adougherty10
    adougherty10 Posts: 50
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    I am so sorry. This might help you recognize your feelings & get you through them. I googled stages of grief & here is a site I found:
    http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html
    Here is to hoping & praying that you reach the stage of acceptance & hope soon. Do not be afraid to talk to a counselor about what you are feeling.
  • MCrome
    MCrome Posts: 14 Member
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    He doesn't deserve you, someone who would do that to there wife and children is not worth it. You deserve more! x
  • stephcorona
    stephcorona Posts: 114 Member
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    i am so sorry to hear about your situation. you seem like a good person and I am sure you have the strength to get through this which im sure is not what you want to hear but just know your MFP friends are here for you .
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
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    Don't blame yourself. I know that is hard, but honestly it is the worst thing you can do. You obviously are a strong lady as you have came this far in your fitness journey. Give yourself time to adjust. You are in my prayers. If anyone can work a miracle in this situation it is God. hugz
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    I am really sorry to hear that. I would be devastated in your situation, I hope your friends are supporting you. I am glad he is beginning to realise what he has done. It sounds like he was blaming you, which is completely off. It is not in any way your fault. Even if you weren't having much sex, you have small children! Who has sex when they have small children? No one, is the answer. He is the bad guy here, and you are completely innocent.
  • ceschwartz
    ceschwartz Posts: 240 Member
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    *BIG HUG* Hang in there.
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
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    HUGS to you.

    Take the best care of yourself that you can - because you are, and always have been, so very worth it. Be gentle and loving with yourself.

    And more hugs.
  • Jennjenn1974
    Jennjenn1974 Posts: 350 Member
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    I am so sorry you are going through this. There is nothing as devastating as finding out your husband is a *kitten*. Do not blame yourself! All you can do is pick yourself up and continue on, as hard as that may be. It will get better! I know it may not seem like it right now, but it will :)

    This is not your fault. His affair really has nothing to do with your behaviour or what you did/did not do. Did he ever communicate his unhappiness to you? If he didn't then it's on him.

    I cannot stress enough that things will get better! Hang in there! :)
  • themrsbriggs
    themrsbriggs Posts: 151 Member
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    as i read this, i hear you saying that somehow, you're responsible. that's INSANE!!! it's not your fault at all!! if people aren't happy in a relationship or marriage, they should end it, not have an affair with someone else. i think you are being way too hard on yourself and you can get through this. one of my favorite things about MFP is how complete strangers can make me feel better!! good luck :D
  • erinnmcpherson
    erinnmcpherson Posts: 27
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    I am so sorry. I really wish I could put you in touch with my aunt (she's 37) who is going through the same thing, but finds out new stuff each day-- including that he hasnt been paying the bills and their house in in foreclosure. The way you feel, is normal. You SHOULD be angry at him and never want to look at him again. You SHOULD hate him, but you don't. You feel like you'd take him back and have your happy family back and pretend like it never happend. I know, bc our friend went through this last August (divorced after four years of marriage and a two year old) and my aunt (divorced after being together 20 years--- since they were 14! with two kids).

    You WILL get through this. It's gonna hurt. It's going to put you on the biggest rollercoaster of your life. Please please please push forward. Focus on your children. Focus on yourself. Dont listen to sad songs, watch sad movies, or anything that will ultimately bring you down. Regardless of how much you love him and wanting to stay with him (even for the kids) DONT. I know it's hard. But it will only cause you more pain in the longrun. My aunts husband cheated on her 6 yrs ago. They "worked through it"... Now, if you only knew the sh** they are going through... bc of him. And I'm sure she regrets NOW (after an initial period of wanting him back and feeling like SHE caused him to do this) wasting those years....

    Keep your head up. You are amazing, beautiful, and stronger than you realize.
    Do you have family and friends to turn to? Dont be afraid to ask people to watch your kids when you started getting upset... It's so hard to deal with normal everyday kid stuff when you can't even think straight. Please remember to take deep breaths with them and not snap at them. I catch myself doing this and getting too aggravated with my little girl when me and my husband (our relationship is on the verge of divorce btw) are fighting. And don't be hard on yourself!!!!

    Message me, email me or text me if you ever need to vent or need some advice. 251/214-6335. erinn_mcpherson@yahoo.com.

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