It's happening again, help!!

CanToGirl
CanToGirl Posts: 474 Member
edited November 19 in Motivation and Support
In my adult life, this is the third time I lost over 100 lbs. When I reach the 199 weight, I start to lose my focus. I get to the point where I don't want to eat high protein low card foods. I get comfortable in my skin and can't seem to get to my goal weight, which is 160 lb. I'm happy with how I look. I mean from weighing 332 to 196, I look like a different person!! I feel like a different person. But I know to be the healthiest I should lose another 40 lbs. I feel something is holding me back. And I don't know what or why.
So any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Replies

  • DancingMoosie
    DancingMoosie Posts: 8,619 Member
    For one thing, you don't "have" to eat high protein low carb. That's just a choice some people make. It is totally possible to lose weight with a simple calorie deficit. Find an activity you enjoy, move more and eat less. Think of all the reasons you want to reach your goal weight.
  • karyabc
    karyabc Posts: 830 Member
    hey i'm sure lots of people are going to come with great advise, but may i suggest maybe to stay at your current weight for a while, learn/get use to eat at maintenance, enjoy life, and then when you feel like ready, go back to weight loss mode on, i'm sure you are already healthy and have come from a long way, please give time to your mind to adjust to this new you.

    good luck! :)
  • wesjack777
    wesjack777 Posts: 29 Member
    Hi,
    I know what you mean. I'm a long way from where I need to be. But I look at my loss of weight and feel like I'm doing really well too sometimes. I get it.
    Maybe I'm am lucky though in that I know how much better things can be if I keep pushing. Tim McGraw had a song ages back called how bad to you want it. I want it bad. Bad enough to not stop. This change is in me, and it got there by looking at where I want to be in six months time, and a years time, and ten years time even.
    Remind yourself daily of why you are doing this. Daily. Speak it out to yourself... I'm doing this because I want to play with my kids longer. To be able to look after my family better. To have a happier, healthier retirement lifestyle.

    Something like that has helped me and may help you.
    Karyabc makes a good point too. Nothing wrong with taking a small break and maintaining a while.
  • leslisa
    leslisa Posts: 1,350 Member
    edited June 2015
    Hmm. Well, here's a shot from someone who's been fighting eating issues her whole life. (First with anorexia and now eating as best I can with a super slow metabolism resultant from the years of anorexia).

    Are you happy? Really? Is what you are eating making you happy? Is what you are doing to exercise fun for you? It's hard to be successful if you are doing this because you *have* to do it instead of doing what you want to do.

    Here's what I do for exercise. I run. That's it. It works because I like it. If I'm hurt I walk. Not loops either. I actually go through parks and gardens and around trails. I don't go to the gym (although that is awesome if you like it). I look forward to my runs (and occasional walks). I feel deprived when I don't get to go.

    What I do for food. Weekly cals instead of daily. I am never, ever going to go without wings and beer during football season. It just ain't gonna happen. So I skim 100 - 150 cals a day during the week and eat those either Sat (college FB) or Sun (NFL).

    Special events: B-day parties or graduations or whatever. I add 30 minute walks a couple of times during the week or maybe an extra mile or two here and there. I save those cals for the "special event".

    Curious, what do you see yourself doing/being/eating/etc. in 10 years. Is it 199 or is it 160? Did you ever switch to maintenance at this weight and see how that worked out for you? Can you see yourself low carb, high protein. I can't see myself that way. I know I'm gonna eat carbs. They are magical little pieces of happiness for me sometimes.

    Another thought. If you are stressing right now, that will contribute to "falling off the wagon". So less stress maybe and more relax.

    I hope something here helps.

    Best of luck!
    leslisa
  • chwalia
    chwalia Posts: 1 Member
    I lost 110lbs and needed to loose 30 more. What started the loss was sickness. Then because I was facing knee replacement I was motivated to exercise in preparation for that. After surgery I stayed motivated because everyone thought I was doing so good. I began to feel tired of the whole thing in December/January time frame. My daughter moved out of the country and I just feel kind of sad and don't want to exercise or eat smart. Now I have gained 20lbs and nothing fits. I was walking a 5k every day and now I can't complete one. I fell like a fat screw up and can't make myself get off the couch. I decided this morning to get back on myfitness and log my food today trying to stay under 1200. Please tell me how to make myself take the first step and workout again. I never liked it but I think it put me in a better mood and I may have even felt better. I already take a fairly high dose of an anti depressant. I don't have a friend who can be my partner. I have to do it myself and I just can't do it. I hate myself right now. This is very hard for me to write so I pray that someone has suggestions for me. I am thinking about trying diet pills.

    Thank you,

    Someone who really screwed up and is now a lazy couch potato.
  • tomofnj
    tomofnj Posts: 88 Member
    edited June 2015
    DancingMoosie wrote: »
    Think of all the reasons you want to reach your goal weight.
    leslisa wrote: »
    Weekly cals instead of daily. I am never, ever going to go without wings and beer during football season. It just ain't gonna happen. So I skim 100 - 150 cals a day during the week and eat those either Sat (college FB) or Sun (NFL).

    karyabc wrote: »
    stay at your current weight for a while, learn/get use to eat at maintenance, enjoy life, and then when you feel like ready, go back to weight loss mode on

    YES YES YES.

    I'm down 110 so far, and while I enjoy all the compliments and new found attention.. I know I have a way to go to get to my goal like you and know that the last bit of weight might post the greatest struggle to get rid of. Knowing and facing that I think is the biggest battle, because I know what I did to get here, I know all the obstacles I overcame to get this far, and I know nothing can stop me now. Reach deep down and find the confidence that got you this far and know, you got this !

    Never quit :)

    PS - Weekly cals is pure genius. Damn silly how we can miss such a simple solution.

  • LuckyMe2017
    LuckyMe2017 Posts: 454 Member
    Examine your motives. Are you being fearful or avoidant? Do you subconsciously think you won't reach 160, so you are avoiding pursuit in efforts to remain in control of the process.
    If so, get rid of the baggage and move forward.
    If not, you simply have a decision to make--comfort or health?
    Best!
  • LuckyMe2017
    LuckyMe2017 Posts: 454 Member
    BTW-great progress!
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    karyabc wrote: »
    hey i'm sure lots of people are going to come with great advise, but may i suggest maybe to stay at your current weight for a while, learn/get use to eat at maintenance, enjoy life, and then when you feel like ready, go back to weight loss mode on, i'm sure you are already healthy and have come from a long way, please give time to your mind to adjust to this new you.

    good luck! :)

    This sounds like good advice to me.
  • nineteentwenty
    nineteentwenty Posts: 469 Member
    chwalia wrote: »
    I lost 110lbs and needed to loose 30 more. What started the loss was sickness. Then because I was facing knee replacement I was motivated to exercise in preparation for that. After surgery I stayed motivated because everyone thought I was doing so good. I began to feel tired of the whole thing in December/January time frame. My daughter moved out of the country and I just feel kind of sad and don't want to exercise or eat smart. Now I have gained 20lbs and nothing fits. I was walking a 5k every day and now I can't complete one. I fell like a fat screw up and can't make myself get off the couch. I decided this morning to get back on myfitness and log my food today trying to stay under 1200. Please tell me how to make myself take the first step and workout again. I never liked it but I think it put me in a better mood and I may have even felt better. I already take a fairly high dose of an anti depressant. I don't have a friend who can be my partner. I have to do it myself and I just can't do it. I hate myself right now. This is very hard for me to write so I pray that someone has suggestions for me. I am thinking about trying diet pills.

    Thank you,

    Someone who really screwed up and is now a lazy couch potato.

    Woah now, under 1200 is dangerous, especially if you are a heavier person. Sure you'll lose weight, but at the price of malnutrition and mental unrest. Why not pick a more reasonable goal for your weight? try calculating you TDEE and multiplying that number by 0.8 - that will give you a solid calorie goal that will ease you into heathy sustainable weight loss. You can get your TDEE here: http://www.fitnessfrog.com/calculators/tdee-calculator.html
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    CanToGirl wrote: »
    In my adult life, this is the third time I lost over 100 lbs. When I reach the 199 weight, I start to lose my focus. I get to the point where I don't want to eat high protein low card foods. I get comfortable in my skin and can't seem to get to my goal weight, which is 160 lb. I'm happy with how I look. I mean from weighing 332 to 196, I look like a different person!! I feel like a different person. But I know to be the healthiest I should lose another 40 lbs. I feel something is holding me back. And I don't know what or why.
    So any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

    Knowing that something is holding you back and trying to identify it is the first step, so good for you for that. Is it fear of failure? So what? Don't set a goal of 40 lbs. then. Set a goal of 5lbs. See how you feel then.

    Eat food now that you want to eat for the rest of your life. Just have smaller portions. You've made great progress so far!
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    chwalia wrote: »
    I lost 110lbs and needed to loose 30 more. What started the loss was sickness. Then because I was facing knee replacement I was motivated to exercise in preparation for that. After surgery I stayed motivated because everyone thought I was doing so good. I began to feel tired of the whole thing in December/January time frame. My daughter moved out of the country and I just feel kind of sad and don't want to exercise or eat smart. Now I have gained 20lbs and nothing fits. I was walking a 5k every day and now I can't complete one. I fell like a fat screw up and can't make myself get off the couch. I decided this morning to get back on myfitness and log my food today trying to stay under 1200. Please tell me how to make myself take the first step and workout again. I never liked it but I think it put me in a better mood and I may have even felt better. I already take a fairly high dose of an anti depressant. I don't have a friend who can be my partner. I have to do it myself and I just can't do it. I hate myself right now. This is very hard for me to write so I pray that someone has suggestions for me. I am thinking about trying diet pills.

    Thank you,

    Someone who really screwed up and is now a lazy couch potato.

    First of all, figure out how many calories per day is healthy for you. DO NOT resort to pills! They obviously don't work or else everyone would be on them and no one would be over weight.

    If you don't like the exercise you are doing, find something else. Walking is great! It's cheap and can be done anywhere. But, if you don't like it, you will associate a "negative" activity or task with weight loss. Start with what you eat and how much of it.

    You are not a failure nor a screw up. Log what you currently eat every day for a week. See what your numbers tell you and adjust from there.
  • rowebm
    rowebm Posts: 1 Member
    The first thing you need to do is forgive yourself, because you are NOT a screw up! By my calculations, you've taken 110 steps forward and only 20 back. So you have already made AMAZING progress! Each and every one of us has had setbacks - bad days, bad weeks, bad months. You are having a really tough time and you've had a major setback, but you've already taken the first step toward taking control back by logging on and reaching out to the community.

    I am also on antidepressants and other meds. Diet pills are not an option because of interaction issues. I am taking B12 shots and they help. My counselor recommended them, and I found an offer for them on Groupon for a local clinic. If you have insurance, see if your doctor would be willing to prescribe them. They aren't like an energy drink. Their effect has been more subtle. I realized a week or two after I started them that I was focusing better and managed to finish a few projects without giving up and collapsing on the couch.

    If you were getting bored with the whole thing back in Dec/Jan, I'm sure that's at least part of the problem. Instead of focusing on what you were doing then, find another way to just get up and move - gardening, painting the bathroom, dancing in the living room, or hula hoop! And get out of the house. Join a group or club - local quilt guild, dominoes club, bowling league, take a nutrition class at the local community college. Start slow and give yourself permission to take a little time to get back into it. If you've been sitting on the couch for a few months, don't expect to jump right back in where you left off.

    Right now, keeping my calories under 1200 has been the hardest part. So I'm giving myself permission to splurge on calories once a week. It gives me something to look forward to. Whether it's cake and ice cream, wine and cheese or Brats and Beer. It may take me longer to lose the weight, but I know me...I will give up if I tell myself I can never have unhealthy food again! So in the long run, slower is better.

    I hate having to cook in the evening when I get home from work or the gym. So I made my own diet freezer meals. I spent one afternoon in the kitchen and have enough lunches and dinners for two weeks. The only cooking I have to do is breakfast, and even then, I tend to eat cottage cheese and fruit. I grilled lean pork chops and skinless boneless chicken breasts just until barely done. Then split them up into portions in freezer bags after they cooled. Also filled some bags with frozen pre-cooked shrimp. I added fresh and/or frozen vegetables to each. Some I added salsa, some got Thai seasoning, some Italian etc. And froze them. Now all I have to do is dump a package in a bowl and zap it. My evenings are so much more relaxed now! It is really nice knowing I won't have to spend time in the kitchen after work, and especially after the gym. It's also easier to stay in line with my calorie requirements.

    I hope I've helped a little. I do know how hard it is to pull yourself out of a down time. Hang in there, though. You are not alone. And you already have SO much to be proud of.

    Bonnie



  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    CanToGirl wrote: »
    In my adult life, this is the third time I lost over 100 lbs. When I reach the 199 weight, I start to lose my focus. I get to the point where I don't want to eat high protein low card foods. I get comfortable in my skin and can't seem to get to my goal weight, which is 160 lb. I'm happy with how I look. I mean from weighing 332 to 196, I look like a different person!! I feel like a different person. But I know to be the healthiest I should lose another 40 lbs. I feel something is holding me back. And I don't know what or why.
    So any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

    I would never be able to stick to high protein-low carb in the long term. I'd probably burn out as well.

    You might have the only answer as to why you lose focus. If your happier with your body, maybe focus on eating maintenance and play around with different fitness activities. Take a new class. Try a new sport. Lift weights. I didn't REALLY start getting rolling with my goals until I found an activity that I was passionate about (dance!) that I wanted to get better in over time.

    Good luck!
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