Failure at making friends

RobLynSkinner
RobLynSkinner Posts: 34 Member
edited November 19 in Introduce Yourself
honestly I have never been good at making friends and I live in the same small town I grew up in but I still have no friends so I keep to myself. I figured since I got my kids pool passes I would use the opportunity to try to make some friends. Today was a miserable failure. I approached 3 different groups and not only was I ignored but I was walked away from. These were not people I went to school with or even know. Feeling...... Idk how to explain it. My husband doesn't get it. He works and has friends both at work and away from work. I'm a stay at home mom. I'm so alone. It's not like I'm horrible disfigured or a horrible person or anything. I just don't get it. f40p9fss2qov.jpg

Replies

  • marky1965
    marky1965 Posts: 220 Member
    I added you
  • layla31
    layla31 Posts: 3 Member
    Add me too.x
  • daniellemontondo
    daniellemontondo Posts: 10 Member
    Pretty much the same situation!
  • MinmoInk
    MinmoInk Posts: 345 Member
    Hi there sorry about your trouble finding friends. I hope you'll make some ones here on MFP! Have you tried making "internet friends" before? What are your interests, maybe you could find online groups on meetup.com and whatnot :)
  • Iron_Mommy
    Iron_Mommy Posts: 25 Member
    I added you! :smile: I don't have too many friends either.
  • RobLynSkinner
    RobLynSkinner Posts: 34 Member
    I worry about becoming to close with people online and having it effect my home life. If that makes sense. My husband and I trust each other fully I just don't want to give him a reason to question why I'm suddenly online all the time.
  • klsmotivation86
    klsmotivation86 Posts: 14 Member
    I'm sorry to hear this, honestly it's those people's lose. You are amazing and believe it! Getting to know people online is scary, you have nuts people out there but online can also be a way to connect and make some awesome friendships. While my sister was pregnant she went on a mommy board and now her and a group of people Skype, travel, and take vacations together. I also connected with a group of friends and it's like they are family. Defiantly am here for support! :)
  • MsJulesRenee
    MsJulesRenee Posts: 1,180 Member
    Aw girl, I'm the same way. I've been soul searching lately and realized that you can't meet and make friends if "you don't put yourself out there". That was only one try you did - keep going! Keep doing what you're doing and you WILL eventually meet people with the same interests and goals. Talk about yourself (ask them a lot of questions) and you will be surprised by the people who have the same interests as you. Some of my current friends were acquaintances until I made a real effort to reach out to them. True friends show up at the most unexpected places and times.

    You can add me if you like :)
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    edited June 2015
    I'm the exact opposite. The less people in your life, the less drama you have to deal with.

    How old are your kids? Are there kid/mum activities you can enrol in together? Places where there's lots of parents like yourself? Such as kinder gym etc
    What about the parents of your kids friends, do you ever get together for coffees and chats?
  • britt01any
    britt01any Posts: 83 Member
    I do not have an actual irl support network. I work a lot and spend the rest of my time with my children so, I rely on MFP friends to support me through online with my fitness journey. I have sent you a friend request. Anyone feel free to add me!!
  • MakePeasNotWar
    MakePeasNotWar Posts: 1,329 Member
    I know how you feel, I have Asperger's syndrome and it's really hard for me to meet people. It's so crushing when people are as overtly rude as the ones you described at the pool.

    One thing that I've found helps is to try to find a place where people share your interests. It gives you something to talk about and it can just make it less awkward to just approach someone - no small talk required.

    Online social groups can be helpful even if you stay more on an acquaintance type level and drop in and out. It can give you some confidence to know you have buddies online, and maybe help with small talk type ideas.

    (Plus, frankly, any fairly large group will have at least a few A-holes who will help you realize some people are going to just be jerks (like your pool people) regardless of what you do and it's their problem, not yours. )
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,341 Member
    edited June 2015
    Making friends as an adult is hard. I find it helps to start with a common interest.

    Are there community groups you could join? Community theatre is a great one, lots of fun and you don't need to act or anything, they always need help backstage! Check your local library for book clubs, maybe look at volunteering at a charity shop or animal rescue. Volunteering at a local old folks home? If you knit or crochet, there are knitting circles. I'm not religious myself but if you are, there are church social groups. Maybe google and see if there is a local weight loss support group or walking group!

    You have kids, so could you get them into a group so you can meet other mums? A sport, a martial art, theatre, acting, gym... anything that requires you to sit around with some other mums for an hour while the kids do their thing.

    Meeting people 'cold' - i.e. just walking up to them, is REALLY tough. But think outside the square and I bet you can find a way to connect with people. You don't need a huge circle of friends, just a few good ones :) Good luck!
  • deoliver128
    deoliver128 Posts: 2 Member
    You can add me!
  • salaita1968
    salaita1968 Posts: 165 Member
    hi my new friend
  • lovematthewchristopher
    lovematthewchristopher Posts: 147 Member
    Making friends is not always easy, and some people can be very insensitive. I have met a really great group of people on MFP. We are all here for the same goals, and therefore have alot in common. We strive for the same things, help eachother along the way and have made friends doing so. If you want you can add me.
  • RobLynSkinner
    RobLynSkinner Posts: 34 Member
    I should also mention that I have severe social anxiety and deal with bipolar depression. I wasn't always like this. I was never popular but I always had people to hang out with and do things with. But a switch flipped and I'm not me anymore. Or I wasn't. But I'm working on it. And it's really hard. I cry way more than anyone knows. My husband is great but I worry if I lean to hard I will push him away. (He chased me for 16 years I know for real he isn't going anywhere but still....) I feel my whole life is him, the kids and running the house. I miss having a life. At the same time I feel guilty for it. 2 of our kids aren't mine. I gave up working (which is where most of my social life was) because child care for 3 kids would be more than I was making. It made sense. But now I don't get days off and I sure as hell don't get a pay check. Yet anything I do for myself makes me feel guilty. I'm just kind of rambling now. I'll stop.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories