Diet fails on weekend?
Options
midpath
Posts: 246 Member
My husband is a truck driver and when he comes home on the weekends I really mess my diet up big time, while during the week I do really really well.
I know its not his fault at all but its like he comes home and eats entire pizzas, piles of doughnuts, chugs more than a two liter a day of soda and of course my weakness ice cream. He's very thin and always has been and I guess its hard for me to stick with my diet when all I hear is "wow this is really good you should get some of this" or "Its okay you've done good this week, reward yourself" etc
Does anyone else have trouble keeping motivation around their spouse? Why can't I say no? Is this like a mental issue that I can't refuse it when its in front of me like that? I mean its like I CANT say no.
I know its not his fault at all but its like he comes home and eats entire pizzas, piles of doughnuts, chugs more than a two liter a day of soda and of course my weakness ice cream. He's very thin and always has been and I guess its hard for me to stick with my diet when all I hear is "wow this is really good you should get some of this" or "Its okay you've done good this week, reward yourself" etc
Does anyone else have trouble keeping motivation around their spouse? Why can't I say no? Is this like a mental issue that I can't refuse it when its in front of me like that? I mean its like I CANT say no.
0
Replies
-
You can. You choose not to.0
-
Sound like communication needs to be the main focus. The first time I started losing weight, the first thing my husband said (unthinkingly) was how sad he'd be because we couldn't go out to restaurants he liked anymore. I got majorly bummed out and, then later, pissed off, because that sounded so freakishly selfish of him.
Looking back, he had no idea how important this was to me, and they all have those "you're beautiful no matter what" goggles on. When we first started dating, we'd go find weird restaurants we'd never been to and try weird food we'd never had, so he was feeling sad that that bonding experience might be lost. It sounds like your husband looks forward to spending time (eating junk) with you when he gets home off the road. There isn't anything wrong with that, and he may not be meaning to tempt you. But over time, that might lead to resentment and anger at him for something he doesn't even know he's doing. Talk to him! And have a good long talk with yourself about how important it is to you to be healthier. Your spouse can be your biggest supporter if you communicate what really matters to you. If you don't, you're really just shooting yourself in the foot then asking why you can't stop bleeding.0 -
I am a strong believer in being responsible for what you put in your mouth but support in the form of not being an overbearing food pusher is important IMO. I think there are a couple of ways to deal with this. I'd probably start by telling him "I know that you are trying to be nice by offering me a treat and I appreciate that but I am working hard on counting my calories and sticking to my goal and to do that, I need to limit the pizza, doughnuts, ice cream, etc." But I'd also probably work in a treat while he is home. For instance, we (husband, daughter, and I) go to Dairy Queen once each weekend. It's become a family thing. Maybe you could do something like that once each weekend that he is home.
If he still pushes you to eat eat eat, I'd get more abrupt back--"Look, I told you that I am limiting this stuff. At this point you're not being kind to offer it. You're just being rude so cut it out." But hopefully he's a good guy and it won't come to that.0 -
I don't have this issue specifically with my husband, but in general weekends are harder for me because it's different than my "normal" routine. It involves restaurants, bbqs, parties, etc.
This is what works for me:
Pick ahead of time what will be an indulgence. Let's say you decide you're going to have pizza saturday night. Fine. Saturday morning eat your "normal" breakfast and same for lunch. Decide how much pizza fits into your caloric budget and enjoy it. And know that there is always next time to indulge in something else. so maybe next weekend it's donuts. Plan ahead, decide how much of it you can eat, and stick to the norm the rest of the weekend.
You can also save some calories throughout the week so you have more room to indulge on the weekend. And/or exercise more throughout the week.0 -
Save extra calories for the weekend. Only eat a little bit of each indulgence. Exercise more on the weekends. There are options here. If you guys have always been foodies and want to continue that you can you just have to make smarter choices to make it work. You can't force your SO to change or want to, especially if they don't need to (my SO is ridiculous with what he can eat and remain so thin too so I totally understand). Eat a large salad then have one piece of pizza. Eat half a donut. Keep lower calorie ice cream on hand. Or buy only the small containers of them. If you want it you will make it work.0
-
I don't have this issue specifically with my husband, but in general weekends are harder for me because it's different than my "normal" routine. It involves restaurants, bbqs, parties, etc.
This is what works for me:
Pick ahead of time what will be an indulgence. Let's say you decide you're going to have pizza saturday night. Fine. Saturday morning eat your "normal" breakfast and same for lunch. Decide how much pizza fits into your caloric budget and enjoy it. And know that there is always next time to indulge in something else. so maybe next weekend it's donuts. Plan ahead, decide how much of it you can eat, and stick to the norm the rest of the weekend.
You can also save some calories throughout the week so you have more room to indulge on the weekend. And/or exercise more throughout the week.
This^
Planning is key. Look up zig-zagging calories. Eat really light a couple of days during the week and give yourself some room. Take a long walk, give yourself a little bit extra. Pick out the thing(s) you are going to splurge on. Then log them. This is what life will be like during maintenance. There will be birthday parties and other social occasions to deal with.0 -
Tell him to stop trying to get you to eat. Then save some calories for it if you REALLY want some. But you don't have to eat it just because it's there.0
-
Is it that you're struggling with motivation to abstain when all these high calorie foods are around the house?
Or is it that you have a hard time telling your husband no?
As in, you don't want to be the fun governor that says no, I don't want to split a pizza, no, I don't want to go out for ice cream, no thanks, I don't want any of the doughnuts you're offering to share?
0 -
Plan ahead, keep "healthier" stuff around for you to eat while he eats the junk.0
-
Your husband may be thin, but eating all of that junk food certainly isn't doing any wonders for his health. To me, nothing flies all over me more than when a person knows their partner is trying to be healthy and/or lose weight and they eat junk food in front of them and pull the 'ol "mmmmmm this is so gooood. You should have some tooooo. Come on, treat yourself!" It's sabotaging behavior, and that shows a tremendous lack of support for YOUR weight loss journey.
My husband tried pulling this on me when I first started, because he didn't want to give up junk food. It was almost like he felt guilty being the only person eating tons of junk food. Like it made him feel ashamed, or something. So he'd be like, "come on, Baby, it won't kill you. Everyone deserves a cheat day." I finally got fed up and said, "ya know, if you don't give two sh*ts about your health that's your business. You're an adult, and I can't make you eat better. And you may like me fat, but I don't like being fat, so I'm changing it. So I'm going to need you to stop trying to encourage me to sabotage my diet. Kthanxbai!"
You're going to have to be strong. Maybe when you know he's coming off the road you can have your food prepared ahead of time. That way you can enjoy spending time with him, but you don't have to worry about the daunting task of preparing your own food while he's eating junk food you know you have trouble controlling your portions with. It's easier to say "no" when the better choices are within reach and convenient.0 -
Alright, so my hubby's goal is to GAIN WEIGHT whereas mine is to LOSE WEIGHT so i can relate! He loves eating as do I. My first suggestion: While he is eating crap, you say "no" to cheating - just ONCE. Then relish in that feeling of accomplishment and remember that feeling the next time you have to say no. Say "no" the next time and feel even better!!! If you have a slip-up, do not punish yourself, but move on and remember that original feeling of accomplishment. Keep trying and never give up! Eventually, you will not only see yourself changing but you will see that your hubby begins making better choices too!0
-
Keep foods in the house that meet your goals AND make you happy. Maybe that means high calorie but pre-portioned ice cream or maybe it means greek fro-yo popsicles. Or maybe it means getting a food scale and saying, "this weekend I will have one 1/4 cup serving of ice cream because i can fit 220 calories of ice cream into my weekend."
You can ask him to please stop offering you foods, but you can't ask him to stop eating it.0 -
I always plan ahead and it sounds like this could work for you since you know weekends are the hardest. For me, I eat light through the week when I know I have plans. This weekend we're going to a baseball game and I love hot dogs and cotton candy. I'm going to fit it in because I hate feeling deprived.0
-
yeah it's tough. I have similar issues with my partner. He needs to get in shape too but it's like a brick wall. He has a bunch of health problems too at only 25. So I just feed him as much healthy food as possible and hope it helps.0
-
What about planning some nice homemade meals for when he gets home? Something you can fit into your calories. It sounds like you don't get to see him often due to his job, so it could even be something "romantic" for the two of you.
You could cook up chicken, steaks, corn on the cob, or veggies... You could make a huge pot of chili, and he can eat as much as he wants while you eat the portion that fits into your daily calories.
Just throwing some ideas out there
0 -
Try to remember that what he eats has nothing to do with you, you have to look out for yourself. Ask him to stop offering you things. I have a similar problem except it is that when I refuse to order a drink at a restaurant or don't want to eat out in the first place I get guilted that I am no fun to hang out with.0
-
Jaxxie1181 wrote: »Your husband may be thin, but eating all of that junk food certainly isn't doing any wonders for his health. To me, nothing flies all over me more than when a person knows their partner is trying to be healthy and/or lose weight and they eat junk food in front of them and pull the 'ol "mmmmmm this is so gooood. You should have some tooooo. Come on, treat yourself!" It's sabotaging behavior, and that shows a tremendous lack of support for YOUR weight loss journey.
My husband tried pulling this on me when I first started, because he didn't want to give up junk food. It was almost like he felt guilty being the only person eating tons of junk food. Like it made him feel ashamed, or something. So he'd be like, "come on, Baby, it won't kill you. Everyone deserves a cheat day." I finally got fed up and said, "ya know, if you don't give two sh*ts about your health that's your business. You're an adult, and I can't make you eat better. And you may like me fat, but I don't like being fat, so I'm changing it. So I'm going to need you to stop trying to encourage me to sabotage my diet. Kthanxbai!"
You're going to have to be strong. Maybe when you know he's coming off the road you can have your food prepared ahead of time. That way you can enjoy spending time with him, but you don't have to worry about the daunting task of preparing your own food while he's eating junk food you know you have trouble controlling your portions with. It's easier to say "no" when the better choices are within reach and convenient.
Yeah, I mean, if that's all he eats all the time that's extremely unhealthy. Maybe you guys can try bonding by trying some new recipes and cooking together. And let him know what it wouldn't hurt him if he tries eating a bit less junk.
0 -
Lots of great tips in this thread! This is pretty much exactly what I would have said:Save extra calories for the weekend. Only eat a little bit of each indulgence. Exercise more on the weekends. There are options here. If you guys have always been foodies and want to continue that you can you just have to make smarter choices to make it work. You can't force your SO to change or want to, especially if they don't need to (my SO is ridiculous with what he can eat and remain so thin too so I totally understand). Eat a large salad then have one piece of pizza. Eat half a donut. Keep lower calorie ice cream on hand. Or buy only the small containers of them. If you want it you will make it work.0
-
ps - logging food here helps me because I think of my calorie allotment like a budget - I only have so many to spend. I'll tell my fiance that I am out of calories. Maybe you can frame it for your husband in a way that makes sense for him?0
-
Just have a little if what he's having. So you still get the little taste and you can stay on track.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 390 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 922 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions