Feeling like the odd one out.

::hugs::

I hear ya. I was larger than most in my office and people here are incredibly judgmental. One day I remember overhearing two coworkers gossiping about a lovely woman who had gained a small amount of weight. I was shocked, and crushed. If they were saying that about her what were they saying about me?

I lost the weight (for me, not for them) but I still feel internally defensive when I hear people talking crap about other people's bodies. Life gets in the way. Stuff happens.

((hugs))

muscle does not weigh more than fat. 1 lb of anything is still ONE pound. One pound of muscle takes up less space than one pound of fat. that's all.

Weight is just a number, so she weighs less than you - it doesn't change anything. I totally understand being bummed about it, but just move on. Keep working on those positive changes!

I understand your feelings. I constantly compare myself to others and have to constantly remind myself to stop. There are two separate personalities in my head, my rational one and the nutty one. That nutty one takes control and I have to stop and talk only to the rational girl. Stopping myself and thinking it out when it happens makes the sessions of my nutty personality shorter and I can continue on my day without dwelling on the negatives.

Gosh, I really hope that made sense.

My advice would be to find a workout/healthy lifestyle friend. I tried for years to workout, run and eat better. It wasn't until I reached out and asked a person to walk with me that I succeeded. She was my son's girlfriend's mom and lived in my neighborhood. I had met her once or twice but we were not friends. I called her up and asked her to walk with me. That was two years ago, 80 pounds ago , 1 half marathon and 1 tri sprint ago. Reach out and don't be afraid to make new friends. (our kiddos broke up but we didn't )

You know, that's one of the unexpected great things about MFP. You will find all kinds of people of all shapes and sizes at different points in their journey. It has helped me to see that what you see on the outside doesn't always translate into what you think it does.

Someone who looks "normal" weight to you might think they are "fat" and someone who seems a bit overweight might have just lost 100 pounds and is feeling on top of the world.

I've stopped thinking all the "skinny" people in the world don't struggle and weirdly that has helped me feel a lot less self-conscious or judged when I'm in a situation where it seems like everyone is skinnier than me. All that matters is where I am compared to where I want to be and that is very liberating.

I wouldn't worry so much about what other people do or look like. EVERYONE has their own issues and is usually unhappy with themselves in one way or another. I have found in my close group of friends, a group who has their *kitten* pretty much together (or so I thought), they have all had dramas or issues of some kind.
I would let it go and just focus on you and what your doing to help yourself, how well your getting on with that job and how how you will be when you meet your goals.

When I hear people doing that it makes me feel sorry for them. Its only an insecure person that has a lot of demons (figure of speech) within that finds comfort in putting others down. Believe me, as skinny as they may be they are probably far more miserable. Weight problems are really heart problems and they are the same problems whether you comfort yourself with food or comfort yourself by denying yourself food. We have a lot of skinny women in our office as well as over weight. One day I decided to really make an effort to listen to their conversations and I was shocked to hear that the skinny women talked about and obsessed over food just as much as the rest of us. Food is not always the real problem.

kellydenisetn2014 wrote: »

When I hear people doing that it makes me feel sorry for them. Its only an insecure person that has a lot of demons (figure of speech) within that finds comfort in putting others down. Believe me, as skinny as they may be they are probably far more miserable. Weight problems are really heart problems and they are the same problems whether you comfort yourself with food or comfort yourself by denying yourself food. We have a lot of skinny women in our office as well as over weight. One day I decided to really make an effort to listen to their conversations and I was shocked to hear that the skinny women talked about and obsessed over food just as much as the rest of us. Food is not always the real problem.

That's nice. I like you.

I totally understand how you feel Opalle. For many years I've been the heaviest person in my workplace, and it is embarrassing. Now I work in a larger office with several other heavier people, but I find I'm constantly sizing them up, wondering how much they weigh and what size they wear and how I look compared to them. It's really difficult. The ironic thing is, I didn't use to do that until I started working to lose weight. Now it's on my mind all the time.

The advice I try to keep in mind is that I am not in a race against those people. I am not competing against anyone else. I am only competing against myself. So if one week I've lost one pound, I'm winning that race against myself, because I'm lighter than I was seven days ago. I know it really hurts when you find out you weigh more than someone else, but try to keep in mind: their weight is no reflection on me. The only one I have to beat is the person in the mirror, and if you keep on your eating plan and working out, you will win that battle.